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Post by jkazoolien on Dec 3, 2015 0:23:36 GMT -5
Granted. Turns out all your dreams are horrific night terrors that leave you a neurotic mess.
I wish for a hundred million billion trillion dollars.
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Post by Prime Minister Jim J. Bullock on Dec 10, 2015 8:15:04 GMT -5
Granted, but it's all in Confederate dollars.
I wish for new cat-proof drapes.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Dec 10, 2015 21:09:04 GMT -5
Granted, they're coated with a poison that causes your cat to die a slow, agonizing death.
I wish I had a more active social life.
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Post by jkazoolien on Dec 11, 2015 2:11:41 GMT -5
Granted. You hang out with a group of fedora-wearing, vaping anti-feminists who sit around and bitch about how much easier women have it than them.
I wish I could sleep.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Dec 11, 2015 20:51:06 GMT -5
Granted, you fall into a coma.
I wish I had a nicer car.
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Post by thebusdrivertohell on Dec 12, 2015 17:28:08 GMT -5
Granted, but it's a lemon, and you end up putting more into repairs than you originally paid for the vehicle.
I wish I had some grapes.
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Post by jkazoolien on Dec 13, 2015 19:58:07 GMT -5
Granted. They're sour.
I wish potatoes weren't so fattening.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Dec 14, 2015 20:14:33 GMT -5
Granted, they now cause severe diarrhea that at least results in sudden weight loss.
I wish I didn't get backaches so often.
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Post by jkazoolien on Dec 14, 2015 22:57:04 GMT -5
Granted. Now you get more frequent toothaches.
I wish a Whole Foods was in my city.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Dec 18, 2015 20:18:55 GMT -5
Granted. Have fun shopping among yuppies and hipsters, and paying sky-high prices!
I wish I had more than one computer.
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Post by jkazoolien on Dec 19, 2015 4:16:43 GMT -5
Granted. You have two Amigas.
I wish I was never broke.
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Post by Prime Minister Jim J. Bullock on Jan 7, 2016 17:40:08 GMT -5
Granted, you now have so much money that Occupy protesters are camped on your lawn.
I wish my town had a better downtown.
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Post by jkazoolien on Jan 7, 2016 23:54:26 GMT -5
Granted. Your town is overrun by hipsters, overpriced PBR, and boutiques you have no interest in.
I wish for tacos.
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Post by sol-survivor on Apr 10, 2016 1:26:38 GMT -5
Granted. We're out of meat, though, so you'll have to settle for shredded cardboard. Enjoy the fiber.
I wish I had the energy to get up and go to bed.
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Post by jkazoolien on Apr 10, 2016 11:47:37 GMT -5
Granted. You get into bed, oversleep, and lose your job.
I wish my back pain would go away.
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