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Post by Tarantulas on Jun 5, 2010 15:11:16 GMT -5
Just curious.
Get those late entries in, folks!
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torgover
Tibby
That was one weird-ass movie
Posts: 91
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Post by torgover on Jun 5, 2010 22:59:50 GMT -5
I'm debating entering... I'd buy the DVD anyway =3
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Post by fishbulb on Jun 6, 2010 17:19:03 GMT -5
Okay, here's mine:
INT. DEEP 13 (We see Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank.)
DR. F Frank, you've got to help me get rid of my mother. She's driving me crazy! I can't make a move without being insulted!
FRANK Oh, I think she's just delightful. It's nice to finally have someone around I enjoy talking to. (realizing what he's said) ...er...that is...
DR. F I'll kill you later, Frank.
(Pearl enters.) PEARL Well, that's about it for me. I took a job hauling a load of adult diapers down to Phoenix in the big rig. It's been just wonderful seeing you, Frank.
DR. F (feigning concern) Oh, Mother, you can't leave now. We were enjoying your company so much! (Dr. F moves toward the camera and looks into it) Okay, you clowns up there. You've got to act like you want Mother to stay. But if you actually get her to stay, I'll see that you all die a very slow death. (turns back to Pearl and Frank) Mother, our friends up in space also want you to stay. See? (Dr. F gestures in the direction of the camera)
INT. SATELLITE OF LOVE
MIKE Mrs. Forrester, I hereby request that you continue to reside with Dr. Forrester. It would absolutely not be a huge relief if you were to leave, nor would there be celebrations and parties.
SERVO (quietly) Stop. Don't. Come back.
CROW (sincerely) You can't leave, Mrs. F. Who will I read to? Who will I talk to?
(Mike and Tom turn and glare at Crow)
INT. DEEP 13 (Dr. F is still downstage toward the camera)
DR. F You see, Mother, none of us will be able to bear it if you leave. Won't you please reconsider?
PEARL Nah, I could use the money. I'm gonna finish loading up. (Pearl exits.)
FRANK (breaking into tears) It's just so beautiful...to see a son's love for his mother...
DR. F Oh, stop it Frank, before I give you an air-conditioned brain. Don't you see, we're rid of her!! (celebrating) Hah!! Huzzah!!
INT. SATELLITE OF LOVE (Mike and Servo are cheering and throwing confetti. Crow looks upset.)
MIKE Wait, why are we cheering?
SERVO Because Pearl's leaving?
MIKE Yeah, but what does that have to do with us? It's not like she's ever hurt us. Why, I'll bet that if she were in charge down there, we'd be home by now.
SERVO That's right! (turns to camera) Dr. F, have you no shame? How can you treat your mother this way?
INT. DEEP 13
DR. F (looking at the camera) Oh, put a sock in it.
(Pearl enters.) PEARL Well, it turns out they don't need a shipment of adult diapers in Phoenix after all. The order was for Paris. You know, in France? And no way am I spending any time half a world away from Vegas. So, it looks like I'm staying.
FRANK (crying, walks to Pearl and hugs her) Oh, Pearl, I'm so glad.
DR. F (standing near the control panel, fuming) Yes, Mother, I couldn't be happier...
(He reaches out angrily and pushes the button, sending the screen to black.)
FRANK Pearl, can we watch Beaches again tonight?
PEARL Of course, Frank.
(Closing theme and credits begin)
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Post by braindeadzombie on Jun 7, 2010 10:16:00 GMT -5
Gone for a year and a half but back from the dead. So to speak. That's some pesky PMs you got there. Anyway, here is my entry. Done in my usual style.
Location: Some castle, Pearl's headquarters, doncha know? Sitting around a table are Brainguy, Bobo, TV's Frank and DR. F. Bobo and Frank are comparing forehead to hair ratio's while Dr. F appears to be bored out of his mind. Brainguy has to be the adult, as per usual.
Brainguy: I suppose you're wondering why I brought the two of you back to life. Well, Pearl's birthday is coming up and I want to surprise her.
Dr. F: I wasn't dead, I was resting. Well, hiding, maybe, but you had to go wake me up. I was in a dark hole, devoid of live. Like Detroit in the midwinter. What's with you guys? And why is there a monkey sitting across from me?
Prof Bobo: Excuse me but for your information, I am a Chimpanzee which is distinctly an Ape. Monkeys have tails.
Dr. F: You have hair, you smell and you have zero interest in proper grooming. It's like you're descended from Frank.
TV's Frank: Yeah, I know. Weird, right?
Dr. F: Frank, that wasn't a compliment.
TV's Frank: Oh, I know what you mean. Just look at him. He's so cool.
Dr. F: Frank, when this is all over, remind me to kill you. For old time's sake. Maybe it will even stick this time.
Bobo: Oh, me too!
Dr. F: I'll see if I can squeeze you in.
Brainguy: Now, if we can get back on the issue at hand. Pearl's birthday is coming up and I want to surprise her.
Enter Pearl, behind the foursome. Wacky hijinks not withstanding, this is standard sitcom fare. Hilarity doesn't so much as ensue but rather disperses. {Must not explain the joke...}
Brainguy {continues}: She's been real moody lately and frankly, it's put me in fear for my life. When she looks at me, I don't know if she wants to hurt me slightly or very, very much which makes me worry.
Bobo: Yeah, she's usually more decisive than that. Just yesterday, she saw me throwing her underwear into the dishwasher and she only dunked my head underwater for ten minutes. Ten minutes! It wasn't even enough time to black out!
Dr. F: So, what do you want me to do about it? Am I my mother's keeper?
TV's Frank: Well we could help. A little. I know a guy. He does could work. He could put her out of her misery.
Dr. F: I know just who you mean. Yeah, he could organize it, tell us what to do and I wouldn't have to be here, smelling you guys. Hey Deadman, why does your brain smell like cold fish?
Brainguy: It smells like cold fish? What does that even mean?
Dr. F: I'm sorry but I have a cod. I mean, a haddock. But this is all a red herring to my point. Which is, of course, swordfish.
Brainguy: Fish puns are the most dispicable form of humor.
DR. F: Yeah, I'm so evil.
Throughout all of this, Pearl has been slowly stalking up on them.
Pearl: So, it's an intervention or am I being replaced with those idiots? What, am I not evil enough for you? I try, I try so hard. Bobo, who else would keep you up at night, strapped to a chair and forced to watch Fair and Balance news until your eyes and ears bleed? And Brainguy, buddy, pal, who else would regularly clean your brain and petri dish with ammonia? Just to keep your brain all nice and clean and looking like new? And you two, I visit your grave just to make sure you're still dead. Well, no, I don't because I don't even care about you two. I'd ask what you're doing here but I'm afraid you'd tell me.
TV's Frank: Surprise! {singing} For she's a jolly good fellow!
Brainguy: Don't you mean "Happy birthday to you?"
Tv's Frank: Who wants to get sued?
Dr. F: And nobody can deny that.
Pearl: Oh, you guys! {She throws out her arms} Hugs all around!
Frank and Bobo take her for her word and she promptly slaps the both of them right in the head.
PEarl: What, you thought I was serious? Get back to work, what do you think I'm not paying you for?
Well, that's all. I'd apologize for it but then I'd have to read it.
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Post by mrsphyllistorgo on Jun 7, 2010 12:48:19 GMT -5
Oh, why not, I'll have a go! Sky messaged me twice and all.
SCENE: Mike and the 'bots are hangin', reading some Connie Willis, playing some backgammon. Gypsy tinkers in in the background. The button flashes.
Crow: Uh, Mike. It's them again.
Mike: Hmmm? Oh. Great. Just when everything was nice and mellow. (He reluctantly hits button)
CUT TO: CASTLE, INT.
(A scene of rampant chaos is unfolding, with each element more bizarre than the last. Brain Guy, dressed in lederhosen complete with Troylean hat, is tugging frantically at a leash leading offscreen; we can't see the animal it's attached to, but the snarling sounds both loud and hungry. Bobo is wearing his mermaid wig and sobbing in the corner, while hurling handfuls of corn chips in the air. Smoke fills the place, and flames flicker against the walls. Over it all comes the booming voice of Pearl: )
PEARL: (V.O.) WHAT DID I SAY? WHAT DID I SAY AND HOW MANY TIMES DID I SAY IT? I'M COMING DOWN THERE IN THIRTY SECONDS AND THE PARTY PLATTERS BETTER BE SET UP OR SO HELP ME THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY!!!!
CUT TO: SOL BRIDGE
The guys are staring in their usual bemused amazement.
Mike: Wow. So.
Tom: Yepper.
Crow: My Goodness.
Gypsy: Wow!
(A moment of silence)
Tom: Oh! Oh, wait a minute! It's the third Thursday of the month, isn't it?
Crow: Yes! Of course! Man, those just creep up on you, huh?
Mike: They sure do! Man, I can't believe how confused I was for a minute.
Gypsy: I really should update the calander!
(They go back to watching)
(CASTLE FORRESTER)
(The smoke has settled over a despair and pain-filled landscape. Brain Guy scrubs the floor on his hands and knees while Bobo desperately tries to peel grapes with his huge and clumsy paws, his wig seriously askew. Pearl reclines on the couch, dressed as Cleopatra with a bright orange Eygptian-bob wig perched on her head and large rubber snake wrapped around her neck.)
Pearl: You know, I don't ask much. (She throws a bonbon at Bobo and hits him square in the eye, causing a yelp of pain.) I really, really don't. Feed the dragon, keep the oil cauldrons stoked, and HAVE THE DAMN PARTY PLATTERS SET UP FOR BOOK CLUB! (She really hauls off and fires a walnut-filled candy at Brain Guy, listening with pleasure to his wails for mercy.) I mean, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to be caught half prepared? In my scanties, so to speak? (Looks to SOL) Mike? Do you? Have any idea? HALF PREPARED? SCANTIES?? (throws the lid of the bonbon box ferociously towards the camera)
(SOL)
Mike: Gahhh! No! Scanties, oh sweet merciful God, no! (covers eyes and weeps)
Tom: (shuddering) It's too late for that, Mike.
Crow: (weakly) Once you've thought it, you can't unthink it!
Gypsy: There, there, honey. (Clumsily biffs Mike on head with her mouth, the closest she can get to a pat.)
Mike: Aw, thanks, Gyps. But seriously, guys, don't you think Pearl's gotten... well.... weird, lately?
Crow: (incredulously) Weird?
Tom: (even more so) Lately?
Mike: Yeah. I mean, you know, just in the last few... years, she seems a trifle off.
Crow: Mike, I don't know what you're on, but I want some of it!
Tom: Sign me up for that!
Mike: What? What do you mean?
Crow: I don't know what SOL you've been kept prisoner on...
Tom: But over here in Reality Land...
Crow: Pearl's always been crazy!
Tom: Bonkers!
Crow: Crackers!
T: One short of a six pack!
C: A luxury Belfrey for the discerning bat!
T: Mad as an August Hare with rabies and dysentery!
C: Nuttier than the annual Squirrel And Chipmunk Lutheran Potluck Supper And Bingo Night!
T: In short, Mike--
Gypsy: Bitch is craaaaaa-zey!
Mike: Oh, come on, you guys! I'll admit Pearl's got her own way of doing things but--
(Cut to CASTLE FORRESTER)
(PEARL is now standing atop a plinth, her finery billowing in the wind of a large industrial fan. Bobo and Brain Guy lay prostrate before her, as a nearby boombox blasts "Thus Spake Zarathustra")
Pearl: And so I declare, by the power vested in me by myself, that I am the most awesome 21 player in the universe, and thus all pimento cheese, in perpetuity, is to be presented to me or an offically approved image carved of pure gold, as an offering of supplication!
BOBO & BRAIN GUY: Yes, your magnificent terribleness!
(cut back to SOL)
Mike: She's nuts.
Crow & Tom: Yeah.
Gypsy: Yeah.
(CASTLE FORRESTER)
(PEARL, back in her regular clothes and everything more or less back to normal, seemingly notices Mike for the first time)
Pearl: Oh! Mike and Tchockes, there you are! Goodness, I've been so busy today I just lost track of things, but it's just about time for your movie, isn't it?
(SOL)
Mike: (warily) Uh, I guess so, Pearl. But you know, don't feel you need to rush or anything.
(CASTLE FORRESTER)
Pearl: (pleasant as can be) Nonsense! I can't neglect my little experiment! Now, just for fun, which would you rather watch for your movie today? The latest installment of the runaway hit series, Twilight? Or this seventeen hour VHS screening of the Twin Falls Minnesota Annual Accountant's Conference, with no bathroom breaks?
(SOL)
Mike, Tom and Crow: OH, GOD, THE ACCOUNTANTS! PLEASE, WE BEG YOU!
(CASTLE FORRESTER)
Pearl: Twilight it is! I really love it when we can work together this way, Mike. I'll leave you in my minons' capable hands! And then (turns to Brain Guy and Bobo) if they know what's good for 'em, they'll get right on those lifesize ice sculptures of King Kong and Godzilla for the garden fete! Won't you, fellas?
Bobo & Brain Guy: Oh, my! Yes, indeed! We certainly will! Quick like a bunny!
(Pearl casts a smile of radiant sanity in all directions and sweeps out)
Bobo: Oh, God...
Brain Guy: SHHHHH! Don't make it worse! (Inserts film into projection apparatus) Come on, I'll fetch the chisel, you get the ice trays! (They scurry out)
(SOL)
Mike: Well fellas...
Crow: Yep.
Tom: Uh-huh.
Mike: Thursday.
(LIGHTS FLASH)
All: MOVIE SIGN!!!
Annnnnnnd.... scene.
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Post by gargonshepard on Jun 7, 2010 17:05:18 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]To rule for only a moment[/glow][glow=red,2,300][/glow]
The scene starts on the SOL with the lights low. There are balloons and streamers hastily strung about. A pile of moist bright colored mess is heaped up on the deck with unlit candles poking out from every direction. The yellow light blinks over and over, Pearl is calling. Slowly you see a hand raise above the deck feeling for the light and right into the cake. You hear Mike say Urghh! Finally the hand reaches the light and presses it.
Cut to a close up of Pearl, Brain Guy and BoBo looking puzzled.
Cut back to the SOL.....nothing
Cut back to Pearl and the gang still looking puzzled.
Pearl Helloooo
Cut back to the SOL where Crow, Mike, Tom Servo and Gypsy jump out SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEARL!!!!!
Cut back to Pearl with a surprised look on her face. Slowly the surprise turns to angry. Pearl Hey its not my birthday you idiots! BOBO Oh good because I forgot to get you something. That draws a fist of wrath from Pearl. Pearl If you think that this will get you out of this weeks experiment you are sooooooo wrong. Mike (Interrupts) So I guess you you don't want your present then. Pearl (Looking confused) Oh um sure I do. BOBO (Jumping up and down clapping his hands) OO What is it I love surprises. Tom Servo Well we all know how much you want to rule the world soooooooooo, Cut to a close up of Pearl, BoBO and Brain Guy nodding anxiously Crow So the U.N. is trying to get this whole one world thing going a----n-------d. Pearl Oh on with it! Mike So the new Oprah magazine had an application to run the whole thing a---n---d cut to Pearl looking as if she will explode. Pearl Smellson if you gumball and Tupperware party don't tell me I will vaporize you! Mike We have the response right here. He pulls out a golden envelope and holds it up. Brain Guy Well read it already. Mike Ok (he pulls out a fancy letter opener and dramatically opens the letter) Dear Pearl Forester, We have received your application for the ruler of the world position. Several times the camera cuts back and forth between Pearl and the SOL. Each time Pearl looks more and more nervous. Mike and while your application was very impressive we had allot of qualified applicants to consider. Cut to Pearl looking sad. Mike There were several rounds of debate and your name continued to surface. cut to Pearl looking happy Mike Upon further review it looked as if Barrack Obama had the edge. Cut to Pearl looking sad Mike But in the end your tenacious pursuit of world dominance won us over. SO Cut to Pearl looking as if she cannot believe her very ears. Bobo and Brain Guy jumping up and down behind her looking like two school girls finding out her best friend just landed a date with the Quarterback. Pearl You mean....... Crow Yup you rule the world. Pearl (with tears in her eyes) Ohh guys that's the best gift anyone has ever gotten me...... Brain guy and BOBo in unison You rule the World. You rule the world! Tom Servo It also comes with a lifetime subscription to Oprah's magazine! Pearl (cackling with the most evil laugh ever heard) I knew all this hard work would pay off! If only my Clayton was here to see this. I RULE THE WORLD I REALLY RULE THE WORLD right? I do right? Cut to the SOL Crow Tom and Mike all vigorously nod their head Pearl running back and forth her arms raised in victory. Suddenly she grabs her chest and her eyes open wide. Brain Guy I know I'm as shocked as you are. Pearl drops to the ground and closes her eyes. Cut to the SOL Mike and the bots look horrified. back to Pearl laying on the floor. Brain Guy She is not breathing. I think she is dead! BObo do something. BOBO I'll give her mouth to mouth! Pearl quickly sits up Pearl If you put you hairy lips anywheres near me I'll haunt you forever! I ruled but only a moment! Pearl falls over dead. Mike and the bots still look horrified. Crow Oh great idea Mike you killed her! Mike but...but... I didn't kill her Tom Lets face it Mike Four planets and now Pearl your a mass murderer. Mike (looking stunned) We'll be right back
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Post by pups4ever on Jun 7, 2010 23:47:47 GMT -5
MST3K Alternate Universe
Opening theme (sung by Mary Jo/Pearl): In the not to distant future... On the Sattelite of Love There was a gal named Pearl as gentle as a dove
She had a plan to rule the world... It was going well, flag unfurlled She had it all, in her hands But her subject Michael Nelson, well he had some other plans...
Mike: I'll send her cheesey movies (oooh) The worst I can find (lalala) She'll have to sit and watch them all and I'll monitor her mind (lalala)
Mary Jo: Now keep in mind Pearl cant control where the movies begin or end (lalala) She'll try to keep her sanity with the help of her robot friends
ROBOT ROLL CALL:
Cambot! (you're a star) Gypsy! (my goodness!) Tom Servo! (aah yeah) Croooooow! (you know you want me)
If you're wondering how she eats and breathes, and other science facts (lalala) Just repeat to yourself "it's just a show, I should really just relax."
For: Mystery Science Theater 3000! (twang)
(door sequence)
(int. Sattelite of Love Sci-fi era)
Pearl (in blue jumpsuit): Well, Nelson... I believe I showed you how to watch a movie! Quest of the Delta Knights was bad, but nothing compared to what I have in store for you.
(int. Castle Forrester. Mike, Bobo, and Observer are enjoying a cold brew and laughing)
Mike: Yeah, funny you should mention that, Pearl...
Observer: All of us have got to talking down here and we thought that we are tired of your demanding ways and cruel treatment.
Mike: So, since you gave me all the power, I'm not quite ready to relenquish it. You could say (dramatic Mike pause)... I've gone mad with it.
(back on the SOL, Servo, Gypsy and Crow stand open-mouthed while Pearl has a very evil glance fixed on Mike and her former henchment)
Pearl: Oh you will give me control back, Smellson, or So help me, I will... make you watch Plan 9 from Outer Space! Do not tempt me!
(Castle Forrester) Mike (smugly): Funny you should mention that, Pearl. That is your next movie. (getting up to the machine, pulls out a reel) It's a bit of garbage from a crossdressing director whose reach greatly overextended his grasp.
(SOL, pearl has a slow burn on and is becoming increasingly red) Crow: Mike! You're gonna make us watch bad movies? I thought you were our friend!
Servo: Yeah, what's the deal?
Gypsy (evenly): Dickweed.
(Castle Forrester, Mike is joined by a snickering Bobo and Observer) Mike: What can I say, guys? Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
(SOL) Pearl: Nelson, you will get a Coleman Francis marathon for this!
Crow: Forget that, let's kill him. *movie sign*
Servo: We'll have plenty of time to plan that, but it's movie sign!
(door sequence)
[edit: put the letter "w" in "now" and fixed some capitalization and spelling]
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Post by Beautiful Mind on Jun 8, 2010 20:05:45 GMT -5
I don't know about RAD but I'm being thoroughly entertained! ;D
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Post by jklope4 on Jun 12, 2010 0:16:36 GMT -5
SEGMENT ONE
JOEL: Wow, sirs, that’s dark. He sets a small analogue alarm clock with a digital display on the desk. Its radium-painted numbers are glowing extra bright, wonderfully offsetting the stylish faux-wood paneling; Tom and Crow whistle appropriately. There are two buttons on top: one is normal; the other pulsates dimly. JOEL: For my invention this week, I made the Backwards Alarm Clock. Don’t you hate it when you sleep through your alarm and miss an important meeting? Sure, we all do. But now with the Backwards Alarm Clock, being late is a thing of the past! Just hit this button (points to the pulsating button) and you’ll travel back in time to the point your alarm would’ve waken you up! TOM: That sounds really dangerous, Joel. CROW: Wow, lemme try! JOEL: Not so fast, my golden friend, this is just a prototype. I couldn’t get enough Deusexmachinium to power its reactor so I had to use Pine-Sol. What do you think, sirs? Crow dives forward anyway, his beak slams into the Backwards Button and he freezes as if the button were made of dimply pulsating glue. The lights on the SOL flicker for a second and steady themselves. Crow falls behind the desk. Joel hits the ship-to-shore button on the con and pulls Crow back into view. Pearl’s face nearly fills the screen. The stone walls of Castle Forrester, that once-great fortress of world domination, lie behind her like so many pressed and formed dreams. She hasn’t been watching. PEARL: Yeah, yeah, that’s great, Joelie. Listen, the Institute for Mad Science sent me over an intern so I’m going to cruise down Easy Street from now on. (She steps back, revealing a young man in a snazzy new lab coat, glasses, slicked-back hair and a well-kept moustache.) This is C.D., he’ll be conducting this week’s experiment. I’ve got some Me time to catch up on. C.D.: Hello, Joel. Robots. Your experiment this week is (he checks his clipboard) The Creature Walks Among Us. Toodles! Up on the SOL, Movie Sign is blaring; Joel leaps into the tube to the theater and the bots scramble away.
SEGMENT TWO
Joel stumbles in from the theater. Lights are flashing, klaxons are blaring. JOEL: Gypsy! Status report! But it is Pearl who, smiling, answers from the driver’s seat of her trusty VW van. C.D. is in the passenger seat, scribbling on a clip board, while Brain Guy and Bobo sulk in the back. PEARL: It’s nothing to worry about, Joel. C.D. here has figured out how I’m going to rule the world and we just need you to sit tight while we send you into the nearest black hole. JOEL and the BOTS: A BLACK HOLE? C.D.: That’s right. If my calculations are correct (he holds up is clipboard) we’ll go into the black hole in such a way that when we come out conditions on Earth will be perfect for Forrester rule. JOEL: Can’t you just let us return to Earth? You don’t need us any more. CROW: Yeah, come on! I want to taste a pretzel. JOEL: You ate all the pretzels on board already. CROW: Oh, that’s right. TOM: Joel, I’m scared, I don’t want to go into a black hole! JOEL: There, there, honey. (to the Mads) Haven’t you done enough? PEARL: Sorry, we need you to pull us up to speed. I’d let you go after, but I’m quite evil. The alarms on the SOL fall silent. Suddenly, another kind of alarm sounds. JOEL: Oh, we’ve got movie sign!
SEGMENT THREE
The bridge of the SOL is quiet. Crow appears, eating a sandwich. Tom is off-screen, whimpering. MAGIC VOICE: Approaching singularity in fifteen seconds. Joel appears, comforting Tom, whose face is buried in the comforting red of Joel’s jumpsuit. Joel hits the com. Pearl and C.D. are wearing party hats. Bobo has a pan and a spatula, apparently ready to celebrate a world ruled with a Forrester fist. Brain Guy has fallen asleep, his mouth wide, his head lolling. BOBO: Can I have all the bananas when we get back, Lawgiver? PEARL: Yes, whatever, now shush! Five! (C.D. and Bobo join) Four! Three! BRAIN GUY (waking up): Four! PEARL and the rest: Two! One! There’s a pop as the SOL and the VW reach the singularity and everything goes black. JOEL: Tom? Crow? You guys okay? The lights come back on. TOM: Yeah. Hey! I’m fine! CROW: My sandwich is whole again! JOEL: Cambot? Magic Voice? Gypsy? GYPSY: All systems normal. Cambot nods. MAGIC VOICE: Ok up here. Joel hits the com. Pearl, C.D., Bobo, and Brain Guy are standing, stunned, in a basement room of Castle Forrester. The room is mostly bare, save for a large computer console before them. BRAIN GUY: We seem to be back in the castle. PEARL (hitting him): I. know. we’re. back. in. the. castle, you ninny! C.D.: But...it should have worked. A series of electrical pops like fireworks tumble through the room. They get louder and louder until they appear out of thin air: tight balls of blue light, with each pop they grow larger and closer together so that in a second they form a blob, and in another, a man’s outline stumbling across the castle floor. His voice comes in like a radio being tuned. SHAPE: Kazak! Come here boy! With a final pop and a brilliant flash of light, the shape becomes solid and whole, a man of flesh. He materialized with his back to the group, who were in various stages of panic. As he turns, he flickers for a moment, his white hair became black, glasses flashed on his face and were gone. But then he was finished and, with a wide smile, he runs toward C.D. TV’s FRANK: Clay! Clay! It’s me, Frank! It’s been years! He grabs C.D.’s collar and shakes him. C.D. runs a hand through his hair, which between the panic and the black hole’s space/time warp, is frizzed out. His mustache has developed a streak of white. TV’s FRANK: Pearl! Bobo! And, uh, Pale Guy! Guys? (he looks into the camera) Joel, what are you doing up there? PEARL: ...So I don’t rule the world? FRANK: No, sorry. But I’m back! PEARL: ...my dreams... (she wanders into the background) FRANK (throwing an arm around Clay Deborah Forrester): Clay! How’ve you been? The movie sign goes off on the SOL. TOM: So Frank’s back? JOEL: I guess so...MOVIE SIGN!
SEGMENT FOUR
Pearl and Dr. Forrester are sitting behind the computer terminal, their heads in their hands. Pearl looks heartbroken. Frank, Brain Guy, and Bobo are sitting at a small table. Brain Guy is mostly blocked by a cereal box. FRANK (eating a heaping bowl of Kix): I was wandering the universe after I got fired from soultaking, I had to fill my days somehow, when I realized that if I could just get the conditions right I could, you know, reappear in the world. Since we always exist, and since you (he nods to Dr. Forrester) kept trying for your Mad Science degree, I just had to line the marbles up and hope it all worked out. Pearl and Dr. Forrester are speechless. Bobo is pouring himself another bowl of Kix. FRANK: If Kazak was here, he could explain it. He had some spare Universal Will to Become that he let me use, which is how you came up with your formula, Clay. (He drinks the milk from his bowl.) You get it at least, don’t you, Joel? JOEL: I think I need to go lie down. Frank stands and looks around admiringly at the basement. FRANK: You know, a guy could really get used to swell digs like these. He walks up to the computer terminal and puts his hands on the distraught Mads’ shoulders. FRANK: Whatta you guys want to do now, huh? PEARL and DR. F: Oh, Push the button, Frank!
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Post by RAD on Jun 13, 2010 10:03:07 GMT -5
Hey, All!
These are all incredible. Every one of you should have been writers for MST3K! It's soooooo hard to pick a winner, as all of these were winning entries. Here's what I'm going to do; The winner of the personalized autographed Danger on Tiki Island goes to our own Mrsphylilstorgo (who happened to be at the show, so I also got her a comp ticket to the second movie. Hope you enjoyed the show, Mrsphyillistorgo!)
For all of the rest of you who entered, let me know when you're attending the next CT show, and I'll have you on the guest list.
Thanks to ALL of you! What incredible talent.
Best, RAD
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Post by mrsphyllistorgo on Jun 13, 2010 12:01:00 GMT -5
*Squeals* *Shrieks* *Does the Happy Dance*
Yaaaaay! I won I won I won after eleven years in high school I finally Won!
Thank you RAD and the whole CT crew! And yes, both shows rocked the house (I hope you get to see the post I put up about the whole show experience).
Funny you should mention the whole "writing for MST" thing--while the original show was on the air, one of the myriad reasons I loved it was the small daydream that one day I would get it together, apply for an internship, and be recruited into my dream job. That never happened, of course, but just knowing that my dream job existed meant a lot to me, in a way.
May your tours be long and shiny, and your enjoyment of life never be exhausted. Hope to see the whole crew in Seattle again soon!
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Post by Miss Interoceter on Jun 13, 2010 12:48:51 GMT -5
My favorite line is "A luxury belfrey for the discerning bat." You certainly do have a way with words. Well done!
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Post by Birdgirl90 on Jun 13, 2010 13:30:18 GMT -5
Congrats, Mrsphyllistorgo! Your entry was great!
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Post by Mr. Atari on Jun 13, 2010 15:41:13 GMT -5
Congratulations, mrs. torgo.
And thank you to RAD for a great contest. Make sure to tell the Titans how much we appreciate them and their fine, fine work.
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Post by Beautiful Mind on Jun 13, 2010 19:36:57 GMT -5
Congrats Mrs. Torgo! RAD I'll be at the Ann Arbor show.
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