Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 14, 2011 3:00:10 GMT -5
I already have a blog, which was more of an arts and entertainment blog, but I'm going to create another one. One more personal.
There's one thing at life I'm good at doing, and you're looking at it. For the longest time I knew I was a writer. Friends and teachers nursed me in high school telling me that I should look into developing it. It was a pain in the ass at first, but as time went on, I discovered a passion. When I'm in front of a keyboard, I fly.
For the longest time, I've toyed with writing a novel. I have a few notepads with outlines and even a few false starts on file. But I was never satisfied with what I was coming up with.
This year, two things happened in my life that effected me more than I've let on to other people. First, on a road trip from Washington, I was almost killed. My car hit a patch of ice, did a 180, and was almost crushed by an oncoming semi. Luckily, the driver of that truck had quick reflexes and narrowly missed me. I'm still wondering how I got my car turned back in the right direction on a goddamn freeway without being hit.
The thing about the incident is that as I saw the truck heading toward me, I wasn't scared. My only thought was "That's how it happens?" But when I got off the road and took a breather, I thought of all the aspirations in my life that were never fulfilled. I got very sad at the thought of having never attempted them.
The second isn't as drastic as facing one's mortality, but it did give me quite a scare: my computer crashed. The motherboard went to sh*t and it wouldn't run. The people at the computer store told me that it was beyond saving.
I took a minute to let it sink in that countless years of my hard work had been lost. My history was just deleted in front of my eyes. You know that Three Stooges thread I started up in CFM? That wasn't even half of the work I had on my computer for that particular project. And that's just scratching the surface of the countless other work I had on it.
Luckily, my father had an external hard drive and we transfered the memory from the CPU to it. I rescued almost everything. I cried with joy.
Earlier this week, I was skimming through the files on a laptop. I wasn't sure why, I just wanted to look at them. Then someyhing happened, I opened one of my novel files and I started writing. I've been writing in it non-stop for the last three days and I'm further in it than I've ever been before.
It's time to sh*t or get off the pot. I need to know if I can, and now is the time to do it.
Do I regret not kicking myself forward sooner? Surprisingly not at at all. I've reread some of my older files, and I've grown a lot since then. I still have issues with spelling and sentence structure, but that's where Microsoft Office comes in handy. That's probably a sure sign that I'm a hack, but I'm learning from its corrections so I can try and prevent them.
But I would have been screwed if this was the 70s.
The story I've chosen isn't my favorite idea, but it's one I like. The one thing I'm trying to do is not waste my best for my first. If I'm too amaturish to pull it off, then I've blown my big one. It's better to use a lesser idea and learn from it. That way I can note what I can do better and pay attention to constructive criticism to see what's working and what's not.
So far, I can say the experience has been enlightening. For one, working with a laptop has been energizing. I'm not confined to a hot, cramped room like I used to be, which was making me claustrophobic. This might be the beginning, and I'm excited.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 14, 2011 13:50:22 GMT -5
There's one piece of advice that I've taken to heart in my years it's that no matter how good a writer you are, your first draft always sucks. As I continue further into this story, I'm finding out why. While it's miles better than the story I would have developed several years ago, it more or less feels like a skeletal structure. It's not without promise, but it needs to be juicier.
This morning as I pondered the next chapter and where it should go, I decided to take a break from continuation and go back and reread what I had written and take precautionary measures to ease the editing process.
One feature on my Office files that went unused until this point is my highlighting feature. Today I finally found a use for it. I went through my paragraphs and highlighted points that needed to be improved, each with a different color indicating what I want to do.
Red means it needs to be replaced. There are points that I get to where I know there's a piece of dialogue or description there, but can't figure out what it is. A filler usually gets placed there, and more often than not, I'm not happy with it. As the story grows, I'll get back to these red blurbs and replace them.
Green indicates I'm happy with where it's going, but it needs to be expanded upon.. Description is not my forte. I much prefer dialogue, being a big fan of repartee. I know the importance of description, and I know I shouldn't shaft it, but right now the characters are my primary focus, meaning my pages are a whole lot of green. But this is definitely going to have to get better, because my entire third act is going to be description heavy. A lot of what I plan to do depends on it.
Yellow means I like it on the whole, but is it too fast? On the surface this may be the same definition as Green, but I have a reason for separating it. There came a point where I was ready for a plot point to kick in and wrote the sequence. What I didn't count on until after it had been written was that it feels sudden. I'm happy with what I wrote, but I'm not happy with how I built up to it. Basically I'm telling myself I need to slow down and find a way to make it flow with what came before.
The system seems like a good idea so far. When I start a second draft I can separate the files and alter these color codes accordingly.
My only fear at this point is that I'm wondering if there will come a point where I'm happy with the whole instead of embarrassed by it. I'm reminded by a quote from director Mike Newell after he directed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire where he claimed that he's hated every movie he has made. This was the director of acclaimed films such as Four Weddings and a Funeral and Mona Lisa Smile, and he just admitted that he thought both were awful.
I think the lesson I should learn from it is that if I think I'm doing everything right, chances are I'm doing more wrong than I can conceive of. Just looking at Michael Bay's shameless Transformers movies and all four awful Pirates of the Caribbean films seems to point this out as correct.
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Post by Mod City on Oct 14, 2011 14:47:53 GMT -5
Good luck, Torgo! I write for a living but I don't consider myself a writer. Certainly not a novelist, anyway, but I've also never tried. It can be a painful, frustrating, lonely realm.
Looking forward to hearing of your progress.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 14, 2011 17:36:24 GMT -5
As someone who's been teaching writing for years, I'm glad you've already learned that rule about first drafts, which holds true for fiction, essays, poetry, whatever.
I feel like most of my job as a teacher is trying to convince students that writing doesn't happen when you first fill the page. It happens when you FIX the crap you just vomited on the screen/paper.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 14, 2011 20:19:34 GMT -5
Thanks for the good wishes. I still have a long way to go, so the encouragement is more than welcome. First drafts are painful. Even though they're necessary, one can't get the feeling of "NO NO NO! I'M AN IDIOT!" out of your head. With my new system I can acknowledge faults as they come to me and I can fix them without forgetting about them.
But I'm having fun seeing ideas come down in print, having a blueprint of how it will play out. Giving life to characters I've created years ago is incredible.
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Post by Mighty Jack on Oct 15, 2011 0:02:29 GMT -5
I didn't know this about you. I dabbled with writing, but I was also doing cartooning and music and after a while I decided I wasn't much of a novelist and art was more a hobby - and focused my attention on music.
The hardest thing for me was editing. I'd have a line or a paragraph that I thought was a beaut, but it didn't fit for whatever reason and would reluctantly cut it (I do this with lyrics as well).
Anyway, very cool to read about your writing. Good luck with it.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 15, 2011 1:55:05 GMT -5
I don't make a habit of making personal affairs public, which is why a lot of this might come out of the blue. In fact, very few people even outside of the internet know I'm writing anything. I'd rather have it in my vision alone until I think it's ready.
I'm making an exception in this case because a log of what I'm doing might help me keep my head organized. You never know when it might come in handy. Plus moral support is always a plus.
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Post by Mighty Jack on Oct 15, 2011 2:37:45 GMT -5
Odd, I don't really see that as a personal affair (at least not in the same way as talking about the crazy uncle you keep locked in the attic would be). The arts are such a public endeavor, you display painting in galleries, sell books everywhere, show a film to the world. And being up on stage, selling CDs and having an Internet prescience for my songs, I think I've gotten used to the idea of letting it all hang out -- so to speak.
But I can understand wanting to keep it close to the vest until your ready.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 15, 2011 3:09:38 GMT -5
True. But when it's inside your head, it somehow feels more intimate. And once it goes public, you can't take it back (no matter how much George Lucas would like to believe otherwise). Making sure something is as presentable as possible is up to the artist, and it's his until he sells it. To that extent, it is personal. Especially a first work. Your first always holds a place in your heart.
At least, that's how I view it. Turning it public is a scary thought at the moment, because beginner's self doubt drags one's morale through the dirt. Call it stage fright, I suppose.
But I have vivid imagery in my head. Beginning, ending, puzzle peices, even a working title (possibly the actual title). It would be shame to let them go to waste just because I'm a coward.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 16, 2011 2:05:59 GMT -5
Common sense dictates that it's a bad idea to be doing two things at once, especially when one of them probably demands your full attention. The thing is, I get bored super fast and super easy. During the lulls where nothing is flowing onscreen, it's good to have something keeping me in that chair instead of pacing around or looking for something else to do.
This is particularly relevant to this board because in this case that thing keeping me in my seat is Mystery Science Theater 3000. I've spent the last few months working through the episodes I have, and instead of sitting in total silence, I've been using it as a means to serenity.
Normally the show is one that probably warrants your full attention itself, but in the format I'm using it for right now, I couldn't ask for anything better. The silly movies make grand background noise and the witty barbs are keeping the atmospnere light.
The latter is very important, I think, because the tone I'm going for is very tricky. The story is very dark, but I want the mood to be a bit of contrast (at least, for most of it). Keeping the tension in the room at a minimum has proved to be a saving grace as it's keeping somberness and mellowdrama from taking over from the intended wit. This is especially the case in episodes where they watch science fiction movies, because the movies have more absurd visuals and the riffs reflect that.
It's hard to tell if I would have the same reactions if I were watching something like Lost. Would the mood become more serious than I intend? What about the Simpsons? Would the hectic antics draw me away from my work?
This is yet another thing MST has done for me. So thank you to the gang for helping me get through this with minimum wear.
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Post by Shep on Oct 16, 2011 2:38:14 GMT -5
Good luck with your writing! I write mostly comedy (used to write for "Cracked Magazine" and "Weekly World News." I still do funny greeting cards, bumper stickers, t-shirts, etc.) No novel yet (though I've got some outlines/rough chapters), and I'm not entirely sure if I've got the endurance to finish one because I'm forever editing. LOL
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 16, 2011 2:59:40 GMT -5
That's cool, Shep! Didn't know we had a professional in our alumni.
Just found out my ex has been published in a magazine herself (just poetry). She's pretty proud of that.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 16, 2011 18:32:20 GMT -5
Talk to EmperorCupcake. She's got a couple of a novels and short story collections out.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 16, 2011 19:41:35 GMT -5
I think I remember that. I'll hit her up.
First blow hit today. I had a working title for the book, one that I actually stemmed my idea for the story out of. It was one that I felt fit it well and really wanted to stick with until the end.
But, on a whim I typed the title into Amazon, just to make sure it wasn't already taken. It was. And worst of all it was a book that came out three months ago. I'm not surprised, because it was an obvious title given the subject matter, but it kind of hurt. A lot.
The book itself goes forward, because the two stories are different, so there's no reason for it not to. Just now, there's an empty hole above it.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Oct 17, 2011 17:58:06 GMT -5
On the perkier side ofwriting a first novel, let it be known I haven't written one chapter I'm entirely happy with. But today was a pleasant experience with one segment I felt wasn't working.
I had reached that point in the book where you know that if you can't keep someone interested in reading, they'll just toss it aside. There's one tiny set up moment that was just over and done with that probably didn't beed to be anything special, but honestly felt would cause the reader to become bored. I deleted the entire thing and started anew.
I re-examined the characters and the setting and asked myself how I possibly could make it interesting. The first thing that popped into my head was that there's a gag somewhere in it, and I had to find it.
I rewrote the sequence and tried to make it a little more tongue-in-cheek, and I came up with something cute, but not really "haha" funny. I wrote the sequence anyway and I was staring at it. There had to be more to it. There was a stronger gag without neccessarily changing anything. So I kept pushing it. A little more and more extreme each time. Suddenly I got to the point where I smiled and said "There it is!"
I kept rereading the pages in my head trying to figure out if they don't work, but everytime I do, they sound better and better. I can't speak for what I'll feel later, but right now, I feel like I just got a peek at what the final book will look like.
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