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Post by Don Quixote on Nov 24, 2011 23:28:41 GMT -5
That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Due to an economic decline, Sloane has been closed indefinitely due to budget concerns. Not that any of us couldn't see this coming. The thrice-daily lobster dinners and ostrich egg quiches Regrettably, our customers don't grow on trees (yet...). So, sadly, we've had to slap discount stickers on everything, cut our losses, and abscond with the billions I've embezzled close up shop for good. I most certainly won't miss you peons while I'm getting my body massaged by Caribbean pool boys appreciate all the hard work you've all put in and all the retirement funds which are now in an offshore bank account of mine, and promise that if things pick back up I'll move back under a pseudonym and create another bogus company to take other people's money, you can bet the factory doors will be flung back open, and you are all more than welcome to re-apply for your old jobs. Rest assured, those who want to work will be given hours and wages which no man can sustain himself upon not be turned away! We know how vital this factory was to this community, which is why we've decided to move outside U.S. Jurisdiction been in talks with the Chamber of Commerce to find similar businesses to fill the void.
But, for now, please enjoy the great savings at this, the Sloane Going-Out-Of-Business Sale!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Nov 25, 2011 4:33:17 GMT -5
I'll give you five bucks for everything.
As the current owner of this forum, everyone get out now. No tresspassers.
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Post by Crowfan on Nov 25, 2011 10:29:26 GMT -5
And get off my lawn!!!!
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Nov 25, 2011 12:14:14 GMT -5
We probably would make more if we could get Ratso to stop peeing on everything. And why the hell does his pee smell like asparagus today? It's usually more like cauliflower.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Nov 25, 2011 13:17:17 GMT -5
We probably would make more if we could get Ratso to stop peeing on everything. And why the hell does his pee smell like asparagus today? It's usually more like cauliflower. So, you got that PhD so you could study Ratso's pee?
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Post by Mitchell on Nov 25, 2011 13:39:45 GMT -5
This is going to extra suck. In a year, there will be a shiatty Ben Stiller movie called "Sloane Heist."
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Post by GodoHell on Nov 25, 2011 14:39:52 GMT -5
This would have been a much more successful business if it were online.
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Post by Don Quixote on Nov 25, 2011 21:10:44 GMT -5
This is going to extra suck. In a year, there will be a shiatty Ben Stiller movie called "Sloane Heist." Well, if that means I get to be Alan Alda, I don't see too much wrong with that. Eddie Murphy is the only logical choice to play Crowfan.
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Post by Mitchell on Nov 25, 2011 21:23:29 GMT -5
Black, crusty, a bit too weatherbeaten to be believed, and smelling vaguely like Fort McHenry at low tide. Just like how she likes her cannons.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Nov 25, 2011 21:47:06 GMT -5
We probably would make more if we could get Ratso to stop peeing on everything. And why the hell does his pee smell like asparagus today? It's usually more like cauliflower. So, you got that PhD so you could study Ratso's pee? Correction: so I could STOP studying Ratso's pee.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Nov 25, 2011 22:49:00 GMT -5
So, you got that PhD so you could study Ratso's pee? Correction: so I could STOP studying Ratso's pee. Then why are you questioning it? Just let it go.
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Post by siamesesin on Nov 26, 2011 17:59:09 GMT -5
It's Small Business Saturday!
So I'm going to take my posting to a smaller, more inside-jokey and pervey message board!
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Post by Mitchell on Nov 26, 2011 21:08:33 GMT -5
The cannon bit above wasn't enough for you then?
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Nov 27, 2011 0:05:58 GMT -5
It's Small Business Saturday! So I'm going to take my posting to a smaller, more inside-jokey and pervey message board! So Pual, a pedo with a thing for gingers, and an internet stalker walk into a bar in Austin...
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Post by Mitchell on Nov 27, 2011 9:24:16 GMT -5
It's Small Business Saturday! So I'm going to take my posting to a smaller, more inside-jokey and pervey message board! So Pual, a pedo with a thing for gingers, and an internet stalker walk into a bar in Austin... Nice, but not enough Amyl Nitrate.
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