Donkey Juices

[mummifiedstalin]

Why aren't we talking about this? This is important news!

theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/30/10272063-nbc-pulls-fear-factors-donkey-semen-episode

When the revamped version of classic fright-fest "Fear Factor" returned to NBC, the promos promised a show set to rival its former incarnation — the scares would be scarier and the gross-outs would be grosser. Now, after having seen contestants bathe in bovine blood and chomp down live scorpions, it's safe to say the show fulfilled that promise.

But if those stunts left viewers wondering if there's a limit to just how far "Fear Factor" can go, rest assured the answer is yes.

That became evident when "Fear Factor's" intended finale episode recently vanished from TV listings. Monday night's primetime lineup originally included "Hee Haw! Hee Haw!" a season sendoff said to feature a challenge in which contestants were asked to consume -- brace yourself -- donkey semen, but alas, it's no longer on the menu.

What this story doesn't mention, but which I uncovered in my ongoing research, is that they had to chug donkey semen that had been out in the sun for awhile...and then chase it with donkey urine! America, you have come of age!

[Torgo]

Damn. I thought you were going to put on a Donkey Show for us, mumms.

All I can say about the main story is that the one time I ever considered throwing up during one of those Jackass movies is when one of them downed a cup of horse jizz. I'm fine with all the poop and ass shots, but that made me gag real hard.

[TheNewMads]

and you wonder why i'm a conspiracy theorist. this is like the snuff TV show from "videodrome," only less fun and sexy.

[mummifiedstalin]

Videodrome was pretty damn awesome, though.

[Don Quixote]

I remember when we visited Oatman, Arizona when I was younger. One of the donkeys looked at my sister and experienced a major erection.

Naturally, my sister got donkey-themed gifts for the next year and a half.

[Torgo]

Jan 31, 2012 20:08:12 GMT -5 Don Quixote said:

I remember when we visited Oatman, Arizona when I was younger. One of the donkeys looked at my sister and experienced a major erection.

Naturally, my sister got donkey-themed gifts for the next year and a half.

Is your sister that hot or only attractive to the animal kingdom?

Either way, I demand her phone number.

[Don Quixote]

I will not travel back in time. Not that I can't, I just won't. Sh*t costs like twenty bucks in gas. I'm afraid you're S.O.L. Tot-g.

[GodoHell]

Whatever these ladies had to drink for their 15 minutes of fame loss of all human dignity, it couldn't have tasted any worse than this crap.

[TheNewMads]

Jan 31, 2012 14:55:57 GMT -5 mummifiedstalin said:

Videodrome was pretty damn awesome, though.

well, yeah, cuz cronenberg is a genius, and among other things, he was plainly warning us about Fear Factor well ahead of time.

[siamesesin]

Poor donkey.

[mummifiedstalin]

Why? I feel sorry for whoever had to gather the large pitcher of semen they had sitting on the table.

The donkey (or, likely, donkeys) just had a good time.

[Don Quixote]

The producers went to Tijuana the weekend before. They brought along some interns to sponge up the leavings after a particularly productive donkey show.

[siamesesin]

Feb 2, 2012 16:41:31 GMT -5 mummifiedstalin said:

Why? I feel sorry for whoever had to gather the large pitcher of semen they had sitting on the table.

The donkey (or, likely, donkeys) just had a good time.

Not true. If it was just the one, it was either removed medically, which is no fun at all, or it was removed manually, which after the first couple of times becomes uncomfortable. And if it was more than one donkey, can you imagine being in a room with a bunch of other jacks being jacked?

Never mind. You probably don't have to imagine it.

[Don Quixote]

Jeeze, don't you know how to modify a milking machine to extract donkey jizz? What kind of midwesterner are you?

[siamesesin]

A real one. We don't use that high-falutin' junk to gather OUR sperm.