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Post by Ratso on Feb 5, 2012 3:57:38 GMT -5
I was in a bar earlier tonight and these bikers were harassing this old female bartender. When I walked over to try and stop it they pulled knives on me... well it was at this moment that I ripped open my jacket and revealed the great face of Al! which instantly blinded the bikers and de-aged the bartender. I then had sex with her for three days straight.
True Story.
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Post by Ratso on Feb 5, 2012 4:06:53 GMT -5
I once dropped pieces of Al Molinaro's hair on Elvis's grave and a few minutes later he crawled out and did an entire concert.
I then had sex with him for three days straight.
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Post by Crowfan on Feb 5, 2012 9:27:03 GMT -5
I really need to hang out with Ratso.
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Post by Mitchell on Feb 5, 2012 23:06:19 GMT -5
I once dropped pieces of Al Molinaro's hair on Elvis's grave and a few minutes later he crawled out and did an entire concert. I then had sex with him for three days straight. Impossible. Three days gay, maybe; but certainly not three days straight.
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Post by Ratso on Feb 6, 2012 1:44:09 GMT -5
I once dropped pieces of Al Molinaro's hair on Elvis's grave and a few minutes later he crawled out and did an entire concert. I then had sex with him for three days straight. Impossible. Three days gay, maybe; but certainly not three days straight. Who wrote that for you Jerry Seinfeld? That was really bad. (Even for Sloane standards) You should be arrested and thrown in Abu Ghraib.
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Post by Mitchell on Feb 6, 2012 7:12:34 GMT -5
Didn't they raze that and turn it into a Residence Inn?
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Post by Blurryeye on Feb 7, 2012 19:59:26 GMT -5
No, they turned into a malt shop run by Al Molinaro.
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Post by siamesesin on Feb 7, 2012 22:48:19 GMT -5
Call WEEZER!
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Feb 8, 2012 2:51:20 GMT -5
I ever tell you about the time that Al Molinaro took me on a secret mission to Yemen and how we recovered a haunted idol from some jewel smugglers?
No?
Good. Al Molinaro swore me to secrecy about the final aspect of that story that could identify us as being involved. And if I leaked it, Al Molinaro would probably get to me before the terrorists did.
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Post by Blurryeye on Feb 10, 2012 14:14:49 GMT -5
At first I thought this thread was going to be a tribute to the movie Freaks. We should always remember Freaks
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Post by Ratso on Feb 10, 2012 16:08:21 GMT -5
Allegedly Tod Browning came up with the idea for freaks after Al Molinaro had Mexican food at his house and disappeared into his bathroom for six hours. The Browning family apparently heard strange noises and something screamed "ONE OF US! ONE OF US!" at which point Al emerged from the bathroom and asked for a bible and wooden stake.
All this information is collected in my new book RATSO'S SECRETS OF HOLLYWOOD! Due out in stores during the next winter solstice.
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Post by Crowfan on Feb 10, 2012 17:37:37 GMT -5
Is RATSO'S SECRETS OF HOLLYWOOD! available for pre-order?
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Post by Mitchell on Feb 10, 2012 19:51:28 GMT -5
Yes, but he only accepts payment in the form of human ears.
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Post by Crowfan on Feb 10, 2012 19:52:07 GMT -5
Damn, I only have feet.
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Post by Don Quixote on Feb 10, 2012 23:57:03 GMT -5
Is this where I buy my Al Molinaro RealDoll?
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