Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 6, 2016 4:13:10 GMT -5
103-The Mad Monster (With Short: “Radar Men from the Moon: Chapter Two – Molten Terror”) The ShortAfter narrowly escaping the Moon Men’s base, Commando Cody immediately goes back because he’s stupid. This time he successfully escapes with the diabolical ray gun that threatens humanity, but the Moon Men are on his tail. Second verse same as the first. If you’ve seen one serial, you’ve seen them all. There might be little tweaks to the costumes and set design between each, but not in format. And if you’ve seen the first chapter of any serial, you might as well skip to the last because you really aren’t missing much of anything in between. In the case of Molten Terror, it definitely feels as if little plot progression has been made. Cody escapes from the evil aliens, as a brief chat with his comrades, then just waltzes back because they had to fill time for twelve of these suckers. The rest of the short is just small pieces of people punching each other and a prolonged chase scene thrown in for good measure. So yeah, that’s about twenty minutes of my time I’ll never get back. It must have been boring being a kid in the 40s and 50s if this was considered entertainment. I can only imagine paying my hard earned allowance to see a serial and realizing walking out that nothing really happened. Sure, I got my repetitive plot lines out of shows like Transformers and Power Rangers, but at least on television those were free.The MovieMad scientist experiments on a handyman, transfusing his blood with that of a wolf, turning him into a wolf monster. After this scientific breakthrough that will advance the study of…stuff…he decides to use his creature to kill his rivals. Poverty Row production was obviously made to cash in on the success of Universal’s The Wolf Man the previous year has none of the production value or the talent of its inspiration. In this film the monster is actually played by Glenn Strange, who wound up taking the mantel of Frankenstein’s Monster for the final films in Universal’s Frankenstein series (including the legendary Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein). It’s a fairly standard rush job monster movie, with very little to distinguish it from other movies of its ilk, though everything to distinguish it from the best monster movies of the period. The movie doesn’t waste time into getting to our title monster, as the opening scenes are dedicated to its first transformation. Then it goes for lengthy exposition, before setting the monster loose immediately afterward. This is good, because there is no substance to the human drama, which is typical mad-scientist-revenge-on-those-who-mock-him nonsense. Maybe the movie realizes this and feeds an audience’s desire to cut to the chase, which it does. The set pieces aren’t extraordinary, but they’re serviceable. Sometimes even a bit dark, as the film implies that the monster’s first victim is a little girl no older than five. Mad Monster lacks creativity, but the movie wasn’t made to be creative. It was made to appeal to that monster movie crowd that just wants a hairy fiend and a fog machine. They get what they pay for. Movie Rating: 4/10The EpisodeRiffing Mad Monster is pretty much child’s play. While the movie itself isn’t unwatchable (poor print aside), the movie opens itself up to being made fun of in many ways, such as an early sequence in which our mad scientist has an argument with a condescending group of imaginary pupils (which Servo points out that if he was imagining them they could have at least been afraid of him). I found myself laughing quite a bit here, as our boys take a liking to mocking the science scenes, which includes a hearty laugh at the werewolf’s expense when they claim that our lycanthrope was created as a cure for baldness (and some people say the first season isn’t funny. Nuts to that, I say!). As the film goes on we’re treated to quite a few bits that put on the giggles, such as Servo’s interestingly enough on-point sitcom references during werewolf scenes, Joel’s wonderful telephone conversation with a movie character, and of course the pre-requisite treating the wolf monster like a pet puppy. Servo also does a few Of Mice and Men references to our simple-minded monster, which may or may not be a conscious reference to Wolf Man Lon Cheney Jr. (whose other claim to fame was a film adaptation of said novel). Unfortunately the riffing on Commando Cody is a brick wall. There’s so little happening combining with similar beats with the first chapter that they seem utterly lost with it. They do introduce the “Nipple tweak” joke, which they run on throughout the serial, though the rest of the short is a bummer. Like Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy, the tint on the silhouettes shifts constantly in this episode. Unlike the previous, the shifts aren’t nearly as subtle. It feels like somebody did a painful frame by frame re-coloring of the Shadow-Rama depending on the point of the film they’re watching, so they’re constantly changing color. When watching this episode, it’s best to keep your eyes on the movie because glaring at Joel and the bots will hurt your eyes like an eclipse. Unfortunately the movie has quite possibly the worst print any film has ever had on the show, so that’s of little comfort. Fun is the best word to describe the host segments. Top prize is a quality remake of Humanoid Woman’s host segment where Tom Servo hits on a blender. There’s also a cute segment where Joel switches the heads of the bots, and the Mads give off one of my favorite closing lines (“Of course we’re not pleased, can’t you see that a mad scientist has just DIED?!”). Theme of the invention exchange is fire, which provides a safety system for stolen purses and a flamethrowing Godzilla toy. Poopie!: Joel accidentally calls Servo Crow at one point in the theater. Josh and Trace cover this up pretty well. The Commando Cody short is such a lull that I hesitate to recommend this episode. But the truth of the matter is that when the ball gets rolling it’s pretty funny. Mad Monster is another first season episode I enjoy. Episode Rating: GoodThe DVDWhen Shout Factory announced Volume XIV, MSTies around the country were stunned to see a first season episode listed among the episode list. Rhino had only bothered to release two during their entire run, and then Shout tapped into that well almost instantly. Not that I’m complaining. All episodes deserve their fair shot. Presentation is as good as these early episodes could ask for, with clear picture and sound. The only special feature is a trailer to the film itself. The short is featured with all the other Commando Cody chapters on Shout Factory’s website exclusive DVD paired up with Volume XXV. In addition to the complete (or as complete as MST gave us) Cody saga, a retrospective interview with J. Elvis Weinstein is included. Next Time: I will…write my…entire review…like this…you know? Or mother will…scold me…because I’m…naughty.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 12, 2016 3:23:07 GMT -5
312-Gamera vs. GuironThe Movie*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*“Brother! You are naughty! Mother will scold you!” – Little Tomoko as her brother highjacks a space ship Our latest Gamera flick has a couple of brats sneak aboard a space ship and highjack it so they can get away from all the wars and traffic accidents on Earth. They land on a distant star…er, planet where they meet two space babes who want to eat their brains. Our favorite giant turtle flies to the rescue (because obviously he has a sixth sense whenever children leave the stratosphere…why wouldn’t he?), but first he needs to get past massive guard dog Guiron! This is definitely the funniest of the Gamera movies, not just on the show, but outside of it (save perhaps Super Monster Gamera, with its flipping superheroine alien chicks). Not only is the story mind numbingly stupid, but it has quite possibly the worst dub job in the history of film adding to the cheese factor. And what to say about Guiron? Guiron is pure acid trip in monster form. He’s a living butcher knife with ninja stars that shoot out of his head. You can’t tell me you don’t want to see that after reading it. Let’s face it, this movie is a MSTie fan favorite for a reason. I’m not inclined to disagree, though I’m forced to give it a low rating due to the amount of brain cells I lose while watching it. Movie Rating: 3/10The Episode“THE TURTLE’S PLAYING CHICKEN!” Gamera vs. Guiron is certainly a sizable improvement over Gamera vs. Gaos in the riffing department. The question is how good is it? I always felt this was a funny episode, but I never really thought it was anything special (at least I’ve enjoyed Gamera and Gamera vs. Barugon more). One thing that should be noted about my previous experience with this episode is that it was usually in the middle of watching all the third season Gamera episodes in a sitting (which I did when I first saw them, and a second time when the Gamera DVD set came out). Viewing the episodes like this, I find myself tuckered out on Gamera at this point, especially after the limp note of Gamera vs. Gaos. When watching this episode for this review, separate from the other episodes, I find myself laughing pretty damn hysterically. So color me converted! The movie just simply gives them so much to play with. The wonky theme music for the children forces our crew to come up with their own lyrics, which they ride for quite a while at the beginning, but are incredibly creative nonetheless. And what can be said about our Japanese equivalent of Harold Lloyd (not quite) Cornjob? Nothing needs to be, because he speaks for himself! The dubbing is atrocious, with stilted voice acting that pauses in the oddest of places, which they are all keen on noticing. When the plot gets out there, so do Joel and the bots, who are ready for anything this movie shoots at them. “You know guys, it just dawned on me how weird this film is. It’s kinda goofy.” And of course, we have the introduction to Gamera’s theme song, which they immediately come up with their own lyrics to in their first host segment. Gamera is really neat! Gamera is filled with meat! We all love you, Gamera!Speaking of host segments, they’re serviceable, but not really impressionable. I enjoy the lunch box opening and Joel’s magic act, but I don’t really find a laugh in either of them. The Richard Burton segment has highs and lows (I like Crow’s Burton impression if nothing else), but it goes on too long and really just bores me. The invention exchange is cute, with the better of the two being the Mads’ pretty hilarious Rorschach Centerfolds. Even in the sparser KTMA season, Gamera vs. Guiron was a movie that delivered the crew pretty much everything we could have asked for in an MSTed movie. Back in that season the episode stood out, so updating it when the show was in full swing should have been a home run. It is. Though I could knock off points due to weak host segments, there’s too much going right in the theater segments for me to justify it. Plus it has: “I’m Tom! Spank me!” Episode Rating: ClassicThe DVDAnother entry from Shout Factory’s excellent Volume XXI: MST3K vs. Gamera set, and another solid video and audio presentation. Having exhausted just about everything that could be discussed from the Gamera series on the previous discs, this disc primarily hosts a group of MST Hour wraps featuring Mike as Jack Perkins. A Japanese trailer for the film is also included. Next Time: Thanksgiving in February? Why not?!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 13, 2016 15:19:09 GMT -5
701T-Night of the Blood Beast (With Short: “Once Upon a Honeymoon”)TURKEY DAY VERSION!The ShortStrange, strange, STRANGE short about a housewife constantly daydreaming of kitchen appliances and telephones while her husband is forced to postpone their honeymoon until he is done writing a song. An angel pushes the plot along by sprinkling confetti all over the place. Promotional shorts like this weren’t uncommon, but I’m not quite sure what this one is selling. Maybe the kitchen appliances or the telephones, but let’s be honest, I wouldn’t be in a buying spirit after watching this because I don’t really know what it was trying to sell me. The short feels as if it’s a bit too concerned with entertaining than selling. If you like random breaking out into song and dance, this short will have your attention. That’s kind of a pro in this short’s favor; that it almost has the flavor of an old MGM musical short from the 1930’s, only done much, much cheaper. But it doesn’t have much of a narrative hook to engage its audience, and doesn’t effectively sell the product it’s showcasing. That unfortunately makes Once Upon a Honeymoon useless. The MovieCorman produced cheapie (is there any other kind?) has an astronaut crashing back down to Earth impregnated by the spawn of an alien beast (because the Alien franchise had to get its ideas from somewhere). When his comrades decide to destroy the creatures inside of him, they are thwarted by both the astronaut in question and the murderous creature from outer space that followed him. Blood Beast has a lot of shortcomings, but to be brutally honest it’s quite a fun little movie. It has a quite competent pace, acting isn’t too bad, and the premise is goofy but interesting. Plus it’s just plain amusing watching our macho astronaut blunder around trying to save his alien lover and its babies. The movie’s ending is fairly inept in a heavy-handed and clumsy commentary on the human condition and lack of enlightenment (or something like that). The script doesn’t have the effort put into it to genuinely make a judgment like that, and really just kind of dwindles off into a knuckleheaded direction. But it adds to the goofy fun of the piece, and it’s time well spent for B-movie lovers everywhere. Movie Rating: 7/10The EpisodeNight of the Blood Beast was on two episodes of the show and, unlike other movies that were featured more than once, both episodes featured the exact same riffing. Why exactly they decided to make two separate host segments, I’m not sure. Maybe to make a “special” holiday episode whenever Thanksgiving comes around while keeping the episode in a regular rotation without giving it the holiday baggage. In either case, the episode is a winner because the riffing is the unquestionable star. We start off with an exquisite short, which Mike and the bots embrace for all its oddities. After that rousing start, we’re given a goofy monster movie that has pretty much everything they could ask for and more. Probably the most noteworthy aspect in the early movie segments is our latest running gag. Now we all know that once the boys get a gag they can milk in their head it’s impossible to get them to stop. Some are good ( "Big McLargeHuge!"), and some…not so (“Chief?” “McCloud!”). In this case they start off on the idea that everybody in this movie is named “Steve.” I have to admit, even though it’s clear in the movie that this isn’t the case in the movie, this bit cracks me up (“This is no ordinary Steve!”). As the film goes on they start to have fun with the concept of a man impregnated by alien spawn, playing it up with common pregnancy symptoms. Having lived with a pregnant woman for the better part of a year, I can safely say a lot of these riffs are really on target and hilarious. Nothin’ better than a fat turkey on Thanksgiving, and that’s what Night of the Blood Beast gives us! This particular version of the episode has host segments which tie into the bumpers Best Brains Inc. made for Comedy Central for their 1995 Turkey Day Marathon, which featured Dr. Forrester inviting his mother, Pearl, over for Thanksgiving dinner but is bombarded with guests that Frank invited over before ascending into Second Banana Heaven in Samson vs. the Vampire Women. Our guests include Jack Perkins (from the Mystery Science Theater Hour bumpers), Mr. B Natural (War of the Colossal Beast), Pitch (Santa Claus), Kitten with the Whip (Kitten with a Whip), and Michael Feinstein ( Gamera vs. Guiron). With these people in set for Thanksgiving goodies, our episode starts, and this particular one is a bit more fun than the regular episode that would go into rotation later. Skits on the Satellite are sparse, as the episode mostly concentrates on Dr. Forrester, however Mike and the bots do deliver a great football based opening and a delicious Stuffing vs. Potatoes argument. The Thanksgiving in Deep 13 segments are delightful, with such a colorful cast of characters taking our minds off the loss of Frank. I was always fairly fond of a drunk Jack Perkins confused feelings toward the oddly gendered Mr. B Natural (let’s call it It’s Pat, only funny). We also get the first time Pearl references Crow as “Art,” an obscure callback to a segment in Jungle Goddess that resulted in a confused letter from a child in The Giant Gila Monster. Whichever version you choose, Night of the Blood Beast is a winner of an episode that will never fail to make you laugh, though this Turkey Day episode is my version of preference. But the movie is the main course and it delivers a daffy dish that delights so much that you may want to watch this episode twice anyway! Episode Rating: ClassicThe DVDNight of the Blood Beast was released on DVD by Shout Factory in their Volume XVI set. Awesomely enough, Shout managed to squeeze both versions of the episode onto a single disc, so you can choose which one you like. Picture was slightly flawed at minor points, but the episode itself remained intact fairly well. Audio is exceptional. Also included are the bumpers for the 1995 Turkey Day marathon that led up to the episodes debut. They certainly come in handy in giving the Turkey Day version context (plus you can add in the missing episodes for your own marathon!). These bumpers come with a brief intro by Kevin Murphy. There’s also a trailer for the movie. Once Upon a Honeymoon was released in Rhino's Shorts Volume 3 collection, an online exclusive disc with Rhino's Essentials set. Next Time: Everything I touch turns to gold!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 13, 2016 16:16:54 GMT -5
As a minor update: I guess double features are really my thing from now on, since they've proven to be no problem and they're so much fun. I've almost pushed them into triple features for the past two weeks in a row, but ultimately fell short due to other commitments. But maybe one day on a lazy weekend...
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 19, 2016 1:17:37 GMT -5
1002-Girl in Gold Boots
The Movie
Michele, a depressed waitress who loves dancing, is given the opportunity of a lifetime when shady “agent” Buz agrees to take her to Los Angeles to become a Go-Go dancer and train with Buz’s sister Joanie, the top dancer in the city. They pick up vagrant Critter along the way to help pay for expenses (because obviously hitchhikers have loads of cash, it’s just common sense), which leads to conflict for Michele’s affections. Michele is an instant hit on the club scene, but the corruption, crime, and drug dealing backstage convinces Critter to try and whisk Michele away back to a normal life.
Upon watching Girl in Gold Boots one finds themselves thankful that Go-Go dancing trash like this isn’t made any more. Then you realize that this movie isn’t much different than crap like You Got Served and Step Up, coming to the sad conclusion that they still make trash like this, just in a different style and decade. In Gold Boots defense, it’s less flashy and very poorly made, and when the melodrama comes it SCREAMS AT YOU SHRILLY. All this makes it more amusing than your average dance porn movie. Plus there’s a mafia subplot because why not? If something is popular with the kids, then the adults making the movie have to portray it as corrupt somehow.
Girl in Gold Boots has modest ambitions of just showing off fit Go-Go girl bodies and dancing to little numbers that aren’t painful, but not memorable. I guess it succeeds, and I imagine more than a few teenagers flocked to it and wasted money on it because they didn’t feel like watching Charlton Heston running away from guys in ape costumes in 1968. There had to be someone, I guess.
Movie Rating: 3/10
The Episode
The only first run episodes of MST I watched were during the Sci-Fi era of the series. I didn’t even know it used to be on Comedy Central, and I had never heard of the likes of Josh or Trace and only really knew of Joel and Frank because of their appearance in the previous episode, Soultaker. But I had no clue who they were, so their cameo flew right over my head. I was not by any means versed on MST history (MSTory?), so keep in mind that my experience with the show was restricted to Sci-Fi’s limitations on the what the series could show until this point, which was sci-fi, fantasy, and horror.
When Girl in Gold Boots first aired it both confused and enraged me. I remember reading the title of the movie in TV Guide as the next episode and I had assumed it was some goofy fantasy movie about a girl with magical shoes or something. I thought the point of this show was to make fun of bad genre pictures, and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why they were doing a Go-Go drama. I didn’t realize that the series had done quite a few of this type of movie in the past, was really pushing to do them again, and only just got the network to agree. So at the time, this was my least favorite episode, because it seemed like a waste of a movie.
Then I grew up and started laughing. Girl in Gold Boots is wildly funny. The movie itself is never the same one minute to the next, giving Mike and the bots ample opportunity to shake things up. Be it a road trip, dance scenes, or crime planning, our boys on the Satellite of Love adapt beautifully to each change and make it hilariously worthwhile. They are especially impressive during the various dance and music scenes, bringing a surprising amount of fresh riffs to the table with borderline similar content.
“Honey! Way to play the harmonica with your ass!”
One of the funniest points in the film features Critter leaning against a wall with a guitar, singing a sorrowful song and daydreaming of Michele, which her disembodied head jumps into the frame every now and again. The crew clearly love this sequence, and not only does it come out in the funny that they spew at it but it spills over into one of the best host segments of the series featuring Mike doing the same thing, with Crow and Servo floating into frame and trying to tell him the ship is on fire.
As the other host segments go, the other SOL segments play with moments of the movie like this and they are amusing but amount to nothing much. However, this episode was the start of a mini-arc where Pearl becomes a certified Mad Scientist. The storyline never really went anywhere, but for the most part it was just something they seemed to enjoy playing around with and Mary Jo receives a lot of good material out of it. I like these first Mads segments they give us where they see here being inspected and she struggles to impress him. Her exchange with Observer where she wishes to give him an Igor-like hump on his back, only for him to misinterpret her statement of “I wanna give you a hump” is brilliantly written.
While this return to less-fantasy-based films was short lived before the series was cancelled (which also brought us Hamlet and to a lesser extent Diabolik, though it’s comic booky nature makes that debatable), Girl in Gold Boots sees our crew giving a sigh of relief in doing something different. There’s a bit of excitement in their voices and you can tell they’re giving it their all. While not everything about the episode clicks to the point for me to consider it a favorite, Girl in Gold Boots is a delightful rainy day episode that will never fail to make me laugh.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Rhino released Girl in Gold Boots on their all-Sci-Fi era set of Volume 4, the first time any of the Sci-Fi episodes saw a home media release. Since Gold Boots was disc one, I guess one could make the argument that it was the first Sci-Fi episode released period. The transfer is about as good as can be asked for, with excellent audio as well.
Special features start off with an episode introduction by Mike Nelson, who reflects upon Crow’s disturbing Gold Boot dance as well as being relieved that he wasn’t the one that did it. Also included are a trailer and a TV spot, both of which make the movie look just as bad as it really is (if not worse). So if you saw this movie in the 60’s, it’s your own fault.
Next Time: Joey the Lemur, the friend to mankind! A furry sort of monkey friend, he really does shine!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 20, 2016 3:03:53 GMT -5
210-King Dinosaur (With Short: “X Marks the Spot”)
The Short
Lunkhead Joe demonstrates improper driving safety and winds up ascending into traffic safety heaven, where his driving habits are put on trial for final judgment. Of course, this is all the gods and angels take into consideration before allowing one to pass on, which finds me pitying those poor schmucks born before the invention of the motorized carriage. Without one, they must be stuck in limbo for all eternity!
The short does what it’s supposed to and drives home a point about driving safety. It’s an important point to make and you can easily forgive the film for being a tad somber about it. But there’s an inordinate nature of the production, taking place with angels and the like. It doesn’t want to simply tell the audience what it’s stating, it wants to scare the crap out of you while doing so by taking you beyond the grave. Shorts like these aren’t scary anymore, with the silly depiction of a crude afterlife, so anything it says gets lost.
Last Clear Chance does it better. “Why don’t they look?”
The Movie
Four scientists land on a planet called Nova to study it, and find a large array of Earth-like creatures wandering around in stock footage. However the planet isn’t just home to cuddly, playful animals, but also to massive dangerous prehistoric beasts, including the blood-thirsty Tyrannosaurus Rex (in name only).
The directorial debut of MST favorite Bert I. Gordon is a bit of a plodding affair. At times it seems to take forever for something to happen, and waiting around for the titular King Dinosaur can be a bit irritating. This movie definitely won’t impress people with its pace.
On the plus side, this movie’s production values bring plenty of smiles. Not because they’re lavish and awe-inspiring, but because they’re absurdly crude even for the period. One can easily tell exactly what they’re getting toward the beginning when we get an absurd (and transparent) process shot of a rocket taking off superimposed over a backdrop in order to create the illusion of a rocket landing. It gets just as bad as it goes on, with the attacking wasp taking the award for biggest offender. The costumes (namely humorous space suits) illicit much unintentional laughter as well. The finale is a gas, where our heroes set off an atomic bomb for kicks.
King Dinosaur is the 50s equivalent of a kid with a Super 8 camera trying to make his own movie with his toys. It’s crude and seems to have a very loose idea of what kind of craftsmanship goes into filmmaking, but you have the desire to pat the director on the head and say “Good for you!” King Dinosaur kind of sucks in many ways, but I find it hard to hate.
Movie Rating: 5/10
The Episode
Instead of filling out their time slot with chapter four of The Phantom Creeps, our MST crew tries something new. X Marks the Spot is the first non-serial short of the series, and while it’s irritating that the series has now abandoned its second serial in a row, it’s for the best. X Marks the Spot is a liberating experience for the series, because they’re given a program ripe with melodrama but with cheap and silly production values and an inflated sense of self-importance. There’s plenty of opportunity to make fun of it and they jump on it. It’s little wonder they rarely looked back on serials after this point (Undersea Kingdom notwithstanding).
Moving on to the feature film, the riffers go through ups and downs. They struggle with the opening narration, but once the movie gets started they are in full swing and playing with it. However as the movie drones on and lags in its middle portion Joel and the bots become a tad lost again. Things pick up a bit for a bit of leaping lizard action toward the end, but we are overall left with an uneven experience.
The host segments are mostly duds. I do very much love the Pocket Scientist during the Invention Exchange, and the closing segment has a few bright moments, but everything in between is a bit of a mess. This is of course the home of the infamous Joey the Lemur host segment, which is a wild tangent of nothing, but in my view has more going for it than the Emotional Scientist sketch, which is just a major miscalculation.
I want to give King Dinosaur points for a wonderful short and soaring highs during the movie, not to mention it’s our first taste of the delightful efforts of Bert I. Gordon on the series. But it’s hard to be blind to just how patchy the episode is even if you did enjoy it at the best of times. Maybe if the episode had better host segments I’d be singing higher praises, but overall this episode lingers down in middling territory.
Episode Rating: Average
The DVD
Shout Factory released a pretty solid print of the episode in Volume XXIII, with good picture and sound. Included is the Incredible Mr. Lippert, a documentary on producer Robert L. Lippert, who produced King Dinosaur among others. The documentary is excellent and very interesting, making the disc highly recommended. Also included is King Dinosaur’s original trailer.
X Marks the Spot was also released by Rhino as a part of Mr. B’s Lost Shorts, featured on their Volume 6 set.
Next Time: It’s Lois Lane vs. Lois Lane in the battle for supremacy! Unfortunately neither Lois is Amy Adams, Erica Durance, or Terri Hatcher. But hey, at least they aren’t Margot Kidder or Kate Bosworth!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 20, 2016 20:14:48 GMT -5
602-Invasion USA (With Short: “A Date with Your Family”)
The Short
A monotonous narrator guides us through the importance of spending time with the family as we watch a family spending the evening together for dinner and discussion. But be forewarned, there is a endless list of do’s and don’ts to take to heart, or father will scowl at you and narrator will disapprove.
Worthwhile subject matter of making family just as important as personal time is aimed primarily at teenagers and children in an attempt to show them how fun family time can be. It fails. It makes family time look anguishing; with so much proper etiquette to follow otherwise you ruin everything. Honestly, if you can’t fart in front of family, who can you fart in front of?
But that’s kind of the point, as it goes to great lengths to try and portray a proper socializing environment with the people you spend every day of your lives with. The short wants you to keep family close, which is something that gets lost as one gets older (specifically with teenagers). But this short is more likely to bore the people they’re trying to spread that message to, who are more likely afterward to pick up the telephone, call their buds, and ask them if they want to go to a movie instead of spending an evening at home.
The Movie
“Eeeeeeeeeeextra paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaper READ ALL ABOUT IT!”
Not to be confused with the Chuck Norris movie of the same name (though I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what Best Brains thought they were getting only to be disappointed with the movie they received), Invasion USA is melodramatic Cold War propaganda as the distant communist country of “The Enemy” sparks World War III by invading America, and we’re forced to watch all the effects such a war would cause on US citizens. You know, kind of like Cloverfield was for monster attacks, only Invasion USA isn’t nearly as crappy.
The Cold War was a scary time, and Invasion USA attempts to capitalize on potential tragedy BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT! EAT IT, COMMIES! The movie has very little genuine entertainment value to it, especially in a post-Cold War climate. Aggressively bleak and shrill with its lackluster attempt at emotional punches, it does have a lot in common with angst-ridden dystopian teenage garbage like The Hunger Games, Divergent, and The Maze Runner, so one could consider it ahead of its time in this respect.
The most that can be said about this film now is that it features supporting roles for Phyllis Coates and Noel Neill, the two actresses who played Lois Lane on Adventures of Superman starring George Reeves (Neill had also played Lois in the Superman serials starring Kirk Alyn). Coates plays a woman who is drowned by the destruction of the Hoover Dam with her family (this episode of MST misidentifies her as being in another scene), while Neill plays a ticket agent at an airport.
Movie Rating: 2/10
The Episode
Things get off to a delightful start with a fun short. Mike and the bots are on fire with A Date with Your Family, as the short’s pantomime becomes a huge advantage. The only dialogue comes from the narrator while the actors try to act out to the best of their abilities, often wildly overdoing it. It becomes child’s play for our riffers to just add their own dialogue to the scenes, resulting in huge laughs.
The movie is a bit of a killjoy, however. Mike and the bots still seem jazzed up from the short, but such a dreary, low energy film doesn’t really give them the same amount of material. Invasion USA is an unquestionably bad melodrama that offers moments of ingenious quips, but its bleakness drains the energy out of the room. The crew is at its best when they counteract the movie and/or aren’t afraid to go to a dark place with their riffs, but they are nearly drowned by the movie.
The host segments almost save the episode. My favorite is the opener featuring Mike trying to build his own robot, to disastrous results (think “Destroy Robinson family” results). We also have Dr. Forrester’s science experiment on Crow and the crew trying out the advice from A Date with Your Family (“Mike, this sucks. Can we just eat?”). Crow has a delightful comparison between Phyllis Coates and Noel Neill as the Man of Steel’s leading lady, though it’s hampered by a few inaccuracies (he misidentifies Coates in the film and falsely claims that Neill voiced Lois in the radio dramas), though I don’t think they’re superhero nerds like I am so I won’t hold it against them. The big dud (no pun intended…well, maybe a little) is the crew being visited by an atom bomb.
Invasion USA is hilarious at the best of times, and in those moments I wonder why I don’t like the episode better. Then it just lulls itself into funk and I become depressed. There’s a great episode at its core, but it can’t keep itself afloat.
Episode Rating: Average
The DVD
Invasion USA has not yet been released on DVD. However, the short A Date with Your Family was released as a part of Rhino’s Shorts Volume 1 compilation featured on their Volume 2 set. The short featured an introduction by Tom Servo. This compilation is set to be re-released by Shout Factory in their re-release of Volume 2, which is due out on May 24, 2016. Whether the Tom Servo introduction will remain is unknown.
Next Time: Slab Bulkhead, Fridge Largemeat, Punt Speedchunk, Butch Deadlift, Bold Bigflank, Splint Chesthair, Flint Ironstag, Bolt Vanderhuge, Thick McRunfast, Blast Hardcheese, Buff Drinklots, Trunk Slamchest, Fist Rockbone, Stump Beefknob, Smash Lampjaw, Punch Rockgroin, Buck Plankchest, Stump Chunkman, Dirk Hardpec, Rip Steakface, Slate Slabrock, Crud Bonemeal, Brick Hardmeat, Whip Slagcheek, Punch Side-iron, Gristle McThornbody, Slate Fistcrunch, Buff Hardback, Bob Johnson (no, wait...), Blast Thickneck, Crunch Buttsteak, Slab Squatthrust, Lump Beefbroth, Touch Rustrod, Reef Blastbody, Big McLargehuge, Smoke Manmuscle, Beat Punchbeef, Hack Blowfist, and Roll Fizzlebeef.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 20, 2016 20:24:04 GMT -5
Added notes accordingly about the re-release of Volume 2. Not many episodes (Viking Women, Killer Shrews), and it only pertains to the short collection.
Enjoy this week's triple header!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Feb 26, 2016 13:46:24 GMT -5
I don't think I'll be able to do any this weekend. Feeling under the weather, and I don't write when I'm sick. Which is a shame, because I had some fun ones lined up this weekend. In case you couldn't tell from my hint above, this weekend was going to start off with SPACE MUTINY! A favorite of mine, I hope it's one of yours too! I also had another great episode following it, but it looks like it will have to be next weekend.
At any rate, the Volume XXXV set should be here today, so I'll get my MST dose somehow!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Mar 5, 2016 2:57:53 GMT -5
820-Space MutinyThe MovieShamelessly stealing it’s spaceship footage from the far superior Battlestar Galactica, Space Mutiny also tells the tale of a group of refugees from a dead planet looking for a new home. Though it’s more in tune with Lost in Space than Battlestar Galactica. And by Lost in Space, I mean the nutso Goth punk Matt LeBlanc movie. Only much cheaper. Cheaper than the original Lost in Space, in fact. Damn. I really want to watch either Battlestar Galactica or Lost in Space now. And I can’t figure out which. Anyway, a group of people on our spacecraft succumbs to… SPACE! MADNESS!…And revolts against the Captain Santa Claus and his faithful underlings. The events send former Diabolik John Phillip Law and former TV movie Captain America Reb Brown on a collision course! What can be said about Space Mutiny that isn’t plainly obvious? The only reason it’s not the worst movie ever made is because it’s too damn unintentionally funny! Whether it’s the sets, the actors, or our macho hero screaming like a girl, this flick is sure to get a laugh out of you. That’s the difficulty of reviewing a film that pretty much speaks for itself, because there’s nowhere to start because everything is so haywire that you can’t find a starting point. But honestly, if there were ever a movie to watch outside the show for a Mystery Science Theater home experience, this is the film to do it on. It’s painless, funny, and kind of fun to watch. That doesn’t redeem its worse aspects, but it’s better than nothing! Movie Rating: 3/10The EpisodeYes folks, this is the episode where the movie shamelessly rips footage from the original Battlestar Galactica series and nobody on the crew noticed (in fact, they commented on how fake it looks even though it’s quality effects work). I’m mentioning this right now so I don’t have to mention it again. The people who work on Mystery Science Theater aren’t required to be knowledgeable on every single piece of pop culture in the history of relevance, and chances had the crew seen Battlestar Galactica at all then it’s very likely they weren’t intimately familiar with every effects shot in it like a bunch of nerds on the internet like us. I don’t think the oversight is as inexcusable as many fans claim it to be. I myself hadn’t seen Galactica until many years after I saw Space Mutiny (and I was all “GASP! THEY STOLE THE EFFECTS FROM SPACE MUTINY!”), so I didn’t notice when this episode aired and I kind of don’t care now. Whether they recognized the footage or not, it doesn’t take away from the episode. Sure a Galactica riff or two would be nice, but there’s so much else about this movie that they can zero in on. The acting is dreadful, the sets and costumes are hilarious, and just the overall goofy production is just a goldmine of lovable bad movie. I’ve always said that the best episodes of MST have a symbiotic connection between movie and riffing, and when I say that I’m talking about episodes like Space Mutiny. The movie is funny by itself, and while technically it doesn’t need the riffing to provide enjoyment, the riffing is so on-target that it enhances the movie to a whole new level of hilarity. The only riffs that really fall flat at this movie’s expense are on the Galactica footage itself, which goes for fairly lazy reference to tunes from 2001: A Space Odyssey morphing into a commentary of how bad they perceive the effects to be. I already gave my opinion that these are good sequences of effects, so these riffs are a bit perplexing. But there’s so much to counterweight that, with the crappy effects on the inside of the ship making up for it (those little scoot carts that the heroes and villains chase each other in are some of the best bad effects ever featured on the show). Add in the many names of our beefy hero (“Slab Bulkhead!” “Big McLargeHuge!” “Bob Johnson!”), a resurrecting officer (“I think it’s nice of you to give that dead woman another chance.”), and some disturbingly sensual hula-hoop dancing in spandex (“Oh pantyhose are itchy! Really, really itchy! Itchy, itchy, itchy!”) and this episode just has a laugh around every corner. Host segments are a tad on the underwhelming side, though amusing, truth be told. I did Crow and Servo kamikaze flying a pair of escape pods, and some of the bits in the Roman dungeons made me laugh. Pearl’s attempts to reach a brainless Observer were obvious but charming, and I enjoyed Bobo’s regurgitation of many items (never expected to type out that sentence). And I also laugh at the slight in-joke where Mike has trouble hitting on a character who is played by his wife. Love them or hate them, these segments effectively end our time in Roman times and the two remaining episodes of the series mostly stray away from the season’s “somewhere in time and space” story-arc. But any way you slice it, Space Mutiny is an undisputed classic. It’s a riot from start to finish. Oh sure, I can imagine someone could make the claim that this is a “safe” episode, because the laughs are already there in the movie. But if going for a sure thing churns out an episode this good, I’m all for it. Episode Rating: ClassicThe DVDThis fan favorite MST episode was released by Rhino in their very first collection of Sci-Fi Channel episodes, Volume 4 (and honestly, this episode deserved to be one of the first of its era released). The picture had a minor video pixel issue halfway through the episode, though very brief and audio is unaffected. The only extra was an intro by Mike Nelson, who relives some of the more amusing moments of the movie itself. Next Time: Sampo?
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Mar 12, 2016 1:20:12 GMT -5
422-The Day the Earth Froze (With Short: “Here Comes the Circus”)
The Short
THE CIRCUS IS HERE! Yes friends, animals forced into degrading situations, clowns doing stupid things, and people bouncing around in mid-air all for your amusement! You won’t remember it tomorrow, but who cares when you have popcorn and cotton candy?
The short’s amusement factor relies heavily on an individual’s reaction to the circus. I like trapeze acts, so this short did provide some entertainment value. In fact, women flipping back and forth, landing on men’s feet, simultaneously getting kicked in the ass has become my personal sexual fetish after seeing this short.
The rest of it doesn’t do it for me. The trained animals depress me with their broken spirits and the clowns aren’t funny. Luckily this circus didn’t get my dime.
The Movie
Our first of several delightful Russo-Finnish fantasy films tells us the tale of a witch who desires a magical wind mill called a Sampo, which will create an assortment of riches for her. The witch threatening his love, Lemminkainen quests to retrieve the mystical Sampo for her but he returns empty handed, causing the witch to black out the sun.
Originally titled the far more straightforward “Sampo” (I suspect “The Day the Earth Froze” was an attempted cash-in off of The Day the Earth Stood Still), regardless of one’s opinion of the movie in general you can’t say it’s unimaginative. Hell, I don’t even think you can say it isn’t well made. I think it’s mostly the style of story that becomes lost in translation during importing and dubbing. This movie probably means so much more to the Finnish market than it does to our eyes.
It’s hard to knock a fantasy film that tries this hard and does a lot of cool and creative things with its limitations. The ultimate knock I can make against it is that I didn’t find it particularly interesting. Though take note that ultimately I don’t find Lord of the Rings very interesting either, so consider the source on that. Fantasy lovers will probably have a good time with this one, while I’m more prone to enjoy the cool visuals and not much else.
Movie Rating: 4/10
The Episode
The inherent fault of Mystery Science Theater’s format is that by having our comedians latch onto a movie as a gateway for their material there is a constant war between the two for our attention. Because of that there is always a chance that we miss aspects of either one in our efforts to keep up with the other. The Day the Earth Froze is a fairly prime example in this is because one of the stronger aspects of the episode is Joel and the bots’ confusion over what a Sampo is, even though the movie does tell us (they’re just riffing during the explanation). Coherency is the price we pay for good comedy, and their guesses as to what a Sampo is are pretty funny, so we allow it.
Other than Sampos, The Day the Earth Froze offers up a more elaborate and high-scale film than our boys are used to and they latch onto it. This movie takes them for a wild ride, so they set their sails and let the wind take them where it pleases. They welcome it. They play with it. They laugh at it. They even seem charmed by it. There’s little doubt why they came back to this genre several more times in the future, yet they never oversaturated it. This type of movie is like candy. Too much might give you a tummy ache.
The short on the other hand is a pleasing if pedestrian affair. The short does little to make our gang creative, as it’s just a rather standard showcase of an actual circus. Laughs are to be had, including one brilliant precision gag during a lion taming sequence where Servo whispers “Stella!” during just the right moment. Other than that, the short doesn’t outshine the feature by any definition.
Highlighting the host segments is our discussion as to what exactly a Sampo might actually be. We also have a couple of solid contenders surrounding them, with Tom and Crow planning their own circus and Gypsy’s one-woman show. I also dig the invention exchange, as Joel presents some kung fu inspired candy and Dr. F’s equally useless and ingenious Unhappy Meals.
The Day the Earth Froze offers a benchmark selection of a movie with excellent riffing to go alongside it. With a good if not great short and decent host segments to go along with it, this frozen Earth is chilled to perfection.
Episode Rating: Classic
The DVD
The Day the Earth Froze was one of the lucky episodes selected by Shout Factory to represent the show in their 25th Anniversary Edition box set. Picture had a few slight blinks, but sound was good, and special features included Return to Eden Prairie Part II: The Locations. This is a thirty minute recount by Joel, Jim, Trace, and Kevin about the origins of the show on KTMA and the move to the Comedy Channel, a lot of which is repeat info from other special features Shout Factory has offered. Despite the title, very little of it is devoted to locations, however whenever a location is referenced we do see a shot of what said location looks like today.
Also included are Mystery Science Theater Hour wraps and a startlingly black and white trailer for the movie (which ironically proclaims “SEE the amazing RED HORSE created before your very eyes!”).
Next Time: “Couldn’t help you if I wanted to, fella. Gym policy.”
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Mar 18, 2016 0:32:48 GMT -5
Review will be a bit delayed this weekend. Season two of Daredevil will be out tomorrow and I intend on kicking back on some of the best superhero show EVER made this weekend (pending it's as bloody awesome as the first season).
I'm definitely looking into compensating for it later this week. We'll see how it goes.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Mar 29, 2016 10:59:22 GMT -5
I had plans to do an episode this weekend, but an emergency came up and MST fell on the back burner. For those who have waited patiently, Daddy-O is next! Looking forward to it!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 2, 2016 12:21:36 GMT -5
My review of Daddy-O will be up sometime in the next 24 hours (finally). So there's that.
In other news, I've been selected for jury duty at some point in the future. Not sure about the specifics, but I'm hoping to meet Judge Judy and/or Perry Mason (maybe Matlock if I'm lucky). But if Pauly Shore is there, I'm leaving.
I bring this up because I don't know what it means for my weekly MST episode. Maybe I'll have to take a leave of absense from it, or maybe they'll lock me in a hotel room with nothing to do BUT watch MST. I've never had jury duty before, so I don't know what to expect. Except maybe the director's cut of Free Willy, which is what Homer Simpson taught me.
But if this trial forces me to miss Rifftrax Live and/or Captain America: Civil War, I'm going to guilty verdict THE HELL out of this asshole of a defendant.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 3, 2016 2:35:40 GMT -5
307-Daddy-O (With Short: “Alphabet Antics”)
The Short
Quirky short tries to entertain the tots and bore the adults by going through every letter of the alphabet, and list things that start with the respective letter. Alas, toward the end the narrator gets desperate and starts to stretch some of the tougher letters.
A is for awful. B is for boring. C is for cut the crap and move on to the movie!
Speaking of…D is for “Daddy-O!”
The Movie
Here we have a cheapie teen flick about a street-racer who finds himself stripped of his license to drive, but starts to investigate the death of a friend. This leads him to a shady nightclub where he becomes a singer (because every murder mystery needs some jazzy musical numbers). But as his new career goes on, he digs deeper into the illegal inner workings of the club.
Nearly forgotten film is only notable in hindsight for being the first film scored by the legendary John Williams, who went on to become one of the most notable film composers of all time, composing all seven Star Wars films, the first three Harry Potter films, and almost every film directed by Steven Spielberg (which include Jaws, ET: The Extra-Terrestrial, Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, and all four Indiana Jones pictures). Williams’ score sets an appropriately jazzy mood for Daddy-O, proving he was still at his best even when the movie was at its worst.
As for the rest of the film, what can really be said? It’s a goofy, if harmless piece of moldy cheese. The melodrama is thick, and the acting is crap. But Daddy-O doesn’t strive for a sense of reality, but just to make a buck off the teenage audience that wants to see sexy leads, minor mystery, and a few songs. And even those aspects aren’t important, because those most likely to see this movie were likely making out during the entire thing. But I suppose if we were to judge the movie based on these aspects: The leads are handsome and/or voluptuous; the mystery isn’t intricate, but it gets from point A to point B with relative ease; and while the songs aren’t anything special, they won’t make your ears bleed. All of this makes Daddy-O an okay movie to watch if you aren’t paying attention to it.
Movie Rating: 4/10
The Episode
Our episode starts with a tedious short that Joel and the bots do their best with. Unfortunately they barely scratch the thing. It’s a fully monotonous affair and since the short hardly ever offers anything new other than a droning narrator one moment to the next, a lot of the riffs start to sound the same. The boys fare the best when they riff the footage they’re being showed, but even that starts to get a little tiresome. Luckily the movie revs them up and they’re rock out with it. They poke and prod at the movie with playful ease (it’s an easy target), and probably set a better mood in the room than the film itself.
The host segments are fairly beefy this time around. One of the highlight of the episode (but not THE highlight, more on that in a little bit) is Joel’s wonderful parody of the music numbers in the film, as well as mocking the wardrobe, called “Hike Your Pants Up.” It’s catchy, and Joel’s daffy grin will haunt you forever. Less interesting is the second segment where the bots have a nutty drag race, though the third features Mike doing a killer impression of one of the film’s more outlandish characters. Invention Exchange theme this week is babies, with an air freshener mobile and an alien teething nook (based on the film Alien).
Even with the help of a short subject opening us and some fairly long host segments, the episode runs short of its full time length. In order to fill time, our gang comes up with a cool idea to pad the episode out by taking the baby from the Invention Exchange and have him mess with the keyboard, having him break the button that ends the experiment. The closing credits start and stop frequently for about five minutes, and it’s pretty hilarious.
Despite a weak short, Daddy-O comes fully recommended. It’s hip and groovy fun.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Daddy-O was released by Shout Factory on their Volume XXXIII set, featuring good audio and video. Bonus features include a brief making of for the film (BECAUSE WHO WOULDN’T WANT ONE?!), that basically boils down to “genre was popular, we made another one.” Also included are Mystery Science Theater Hour wraps.
Next Time: An American Releasing Tale: Corman Goes West.
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