Movies you wish MST3K could do, but they can't now...

[chudnado]

I truly am thrilled MST3K is back, and hope it lives on for many, many seasons, but there is one major downside to the new format. In the old days, movies needed to meet only two criteria to be on the show: they wanted to do it, and they could afford the rights. Now however, there seems to be a third qualifier: it has to be in widescreen. This means countless old tv movies, direct to video movies, and lower budget features from before widescreen was the norm that would have been wonderful matches for the show back when it was on cable are now off the table. So I'm curious, what non-widescreen movies do you wish MST3K could've done back in the day, but can't now?

For my example, I present to you the movie Escape From The Insane Asylum, also known as Night of Terror. This shot on video "movie" was released in 1986, and has so much cheese crammed into it: An evil mad scientist/psychologist has murdered his mistress who knew too much, and is attempting to drive his rich wife crazy so he can have her committed permanently and take control of her wealth to fund his further experiments. As she's stalked by another patient her husband has brainwashed, she begins to be visited by the dead mistress's ghost, trying to protect her from her evil husband.

After discovering this movie exists just earlier this year, it has had a special place in my heart above all other bad movies for a very personal reason: It features the only on screen appearance of my late grandfather, Arnie J. Brandt, an architect, painter and stage actor in southern California, as one of the mental patients shown just a few minutes into the film. He's the old man in a blue robe (his own bathrobe he brought from home) with his back turned to the camera, playing chess and accusing the other player of cheating (which is hilarious to everyone in our family, as he was notorious for cheating at board games).  As far as I know, Escape From The Insane Asylum was only released on DVD once, as a very limited edition (my copy is no. 534 out of 1000), but someone has uploaded it onto youtube if anyone is curious (and yes, this thread was half topic I thought would be interesting to discuss, half tricking people into seeing my Papa's awful movie  ): 



What do you think, sirs? And what full frame movies are you sad MST3K was never able to do while it was possible?

[Diet Kolos]

The rest of the Film Ventures International library. Master Ninja 3 & 4.
Any black and white movie.

[majorjoe23]

The Master was recently released on blu ray, maybe Master Ninja 3-4 could be reassembled from the high def elements.

[gorncaptain]

There's no reason they can't do a non-widescreen movie. Just add curtains at the sides of the theater screen or some S.O.L bulkheads could slide into place as they enter. Jonah and the bots could even joke about the theater looks different somehow.
The real stumbling block is having an HD master, which some obscure or public domain movies are unlikely to get.

I wish they could riff on the tv movie The Horror at 37,000 feet, featuring William Shatner and all tv-star cast. It finally made it to DVD a few years ago, so an HD master might be available.

[Troy's Dad]

I really wish they did Shorts again. Episode 196 was the last episode to have a short, and we haven't seen another one in nearly 20 years and 21 episodes. Rifftrax has proved that finding HD prints of shorts is very easy, and they could easily put graphics on the sides of the screen. If we see a season 13, I'd love to see them tackle a Full Moon Features movie, and since those can be really short, they could tack on some shorts.

[chudnado]

Nov 27, 2018 14:58:43 GMT -5 gorncaptain said:

There's no reason they can't do a non-widescreen movie. Just add curtains at the sides of the theater screen or some S.O.L bulkheads could slide into place as they enter. Jonah and the bots could even joke about the theater looks different somehow.

I've thought about them just having curtains close in a bit and Jonah and the Bots move over a seat or two towards the middle as a way for them to get away with featuring films that aren't in widescreen too. It's a solution I'd be more than fine with, but I'm not sure if Joel and Co./Netflix would be interested in doing that, in case newer viewers don't like it.

Nov 27, 2018 15:58:32 GMT -5 Troy's Dad said:

I really wish they did Shorts again. Episode 196 was the last episode to have a short, and we haven't seen another one in nearly 20 years and 21 episodes. Rifftrax has proved that finding HD prints of shorts is very easy, and they could easily put graphics on the sides of the screen. If we see a season 13, I'd love to see them tackle a Full Moon Features movie, and since those can be really short, they could tack on some shorts.

I'd love to have the shorts return, but yeah it would have to be a really short movie for the episode with average episode's runtime having gotten even shorter this season.

I also would love to see them do a Full Moon movie, and that could be a real possibility, because I know Full Moon shot at least some of their old movies on film and in widescreen even though they were going to be cropped and released on VHS. I think Retro Puppet Master would be a great fit for the show, being PG-13 and not needing to be edited for content. I know Rifftrax did it, but I actually haven't seen/heard all that many Rifftrax releases. I just prefer the format of MST3K.

[christmas]

a "full-screen" film would simply be reframed (or "cropped") for widescreen. Most movies post 1953 are shot with a widescreen theatrical presentation in mind. I really don't think it's as big of a deal as you guys think it is. How many movies pre-1953 did the original show ever even do? Not that many!

[Torgo]

I myself am more against there being restrictions based on something as silly as an aspect ratio or whether or not it was filmed in color. Maybe I understand the HD master thing, since upscaled SD stuff can look pretty ugly (especially TV shows), but I'd rather there not be any aesthetic restrictions at all.

The only restriction should be "Can we make this funny?" I can only hope that since they have twenty episodes under their belt they'll start to loosen up and look outside of their box. Besides, a solid HD print of a black and white movie can look bloody gorgeous.

[Diet Kolos]

However, in order to do a black and white movie, they would have to trust the audience wouldn't be completely turned off and skip the whole thing entirely. Because people nowadays need full HD color movies, or else their attention spans dissipate. Or something.

But yes, a little bit of trust in your audience and taking a risk would be nice.

[Troy's Dad]

Nov 28, 2018 1:23:34 GMT -5 chudnado said:

Nov 27, 2018 15:58:32 GMT -5 Troy's Dad said:

I really wish they did Shorts again. Episode 196 was the last episode to have a short, and we haven't seen another one in nearly 20 years and 21 episodes. Rifftrax has proved that finding HD prints of shorts is very easy, and they could easily put graphics on the sides of the screen. If we see a season 13, I'd love to see them tackle a Full Moon Features movie, and since those can be really short, they could tack on some shorts.

I'd love to have the shorts return, but yeah it would have to be a really short movie for the episode with average episode's runtime having gotten even shorter this season.

I also would love to see them do a Full Moon movie, and that could be a real possibility, because I know Full Moon shot at least some of their old movies on film and in widescreen even though they were going to be cropped and released on VHS. I think Retro Puppet Master would be a great fit for the show, being PG-13 and not needing to be edited for content. I know Rifftrax did it, but I actually haven't seen/heard all that many Rifftrax releases. I just prefer the format of MST3K.

I think most of the Full Moon movies from the 80s and 90s are readily available in HD widescreen. I collect some of their franchises and they have been pumping out blu-rays over the past few years. Puppet Master or Subspecies would be great picks, I also think Seedpeople or one of their urban horror movies would be a lot of fun.

Retro Pupper Master could be really cool, just because the movie itself is a prequel and this could bring in some fun MST3K cameos. Like perhaps the KTMA bots show up.

[mrmeadows]

Nov 28, 2018 8:33:22 GMT -5 Diet Kolos said:

However, in order to do a black and white movie, they would have to trust the audience wouldn't be completely turned off and skip the whole thing entirely. Because people nowadays need full HD color movies, or else their attention spans dissipate. Or something.

But yes, a little bit of trust in your audience and taking a risk would be nice.

Agree. Maybe the plan is to build an audience of new fans who will become loyal and stick with the show later on when they start mixing in B&W films, but don’t want to risk turning them off too early. Probably wishful thinking, but didn’t Joel initially say in a pre-S12 interview (or maybe Kickstarter update) that they would consider B&W if they found the right movie?

[Torgo]

I'd say there are plenty of "the right movie" in the black and white era. Most of my favorite episode from the original series showcased black and white films: Prince of Space, Girl in Lovers' Lane, Teenage Crimewave, 12 to the Moon, ect. I think of those as MST classics long before more popular episodes like Pod People or Final Sacrifice.

Unfortunately their tracking data might work against the format. In viewing Incognito Cinema Warriors for my blog Rikk Wolf claims in one of the commentaries that his own statistics showed that their stuff was more likely to sell if the feature was in color. And even when Joel let the fans vote on what their favorite episodes were, there wasn't a black and white film in the top ten at all. You had to go all the way down to number fourteen to find Gamera, while Prince of Space came just behind it. And after those you didn't even see another one until the mid-twenties. That top 100 list has color episodes outweighing black and white 69 to 31, and most of the black and white episodes were scrunched together at the bottom.

It very much seems that statistics are against us on this. Old things are stupid and nobody wants to watch that.

[travis]

Nov 28, 2018 16:45:41 GMT -5 Torgo said:

I'd say there are plenty of "the right movie" in the black and white era. Most of my favorite episode from the original series showcased black and white films: Prince of Space, Girl in Lovers' Lane, Teenage Crimewave, 12 to the Moon, ect. I think of those as MST classics long before more popular episodes like Pod People or Final Sacrifice.

Unfortunately their tracking data might work against the format. In viewing Incognito Cinema Warriors for my blog Rikk Wolf claims in one of the commentaries that his own statistics showed that their stuff was more likely to sell if the feature was in color. And even when Joel let the fans vote on what their favorite episodes were, there wasn't a black and white film in the top ten at all. You had to go all the way down to number fourteen to find Gamera, while Prince of Space came just behind it. And after those you didn't even see another one until the mid-twenties. That top 100 list has color episodes outweighing black and white 69 to 31, and most of the black and white episodes were scrunched together at the bottom.

It very much seems that statistics are against us on this. Old things are stupid and nobody wants to watch that.

When I did some research for Joel (for Cinematic Titanic) one of the things he was specifically looking for was that the film had to be in color.

It's really a bummer they're not using ANY black & white film for the new seasons, as there are plenty of that have HD transfers AND are in 16:9 (or could easily be cropped to 16:9). Stuff like THE GIANT CLAW, FROM HELL IT CAME, etc...

I REALLLLY want to see them do more I ACCUSE MY PARENTS/HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT-type films, those made for riffing gold. Granted, many of them would be difficult to find HD transfers for (save for those owned by the large studio who have HD transfers of their library).

It was sad hearing Joel saying "no more shorts/no b&w films" during one of the live show Q&As.

[Diet Kolos]

Nov 29, 2018 10:07:03 GMT -5 travis said:

Nov 28, 2018 16:45:41 GMT -5 Torgo said:

I'd say there are plenty of "the right movie" in the black and white era. Most of my favorite episode from the original series showcased black and white films: Prince of Space, Girl in Lovers' Lane, Teenage Crimewave, 12 to the Moon, ect. I think of those as MST classics long before more popular episodes like Pod People or Final Sacrifice.

Unfortunately their tracking data might work against the format. In viewing Incognito Cinema Warriors for my blog Rikk Wolf claims in one of the commentaries that his own statistics showed that their stuff was more likely to sell if the feature was in color. And even when Joel let the fans vote on what their favorite episodes were, there wasn't a black and white film in the top ten at all. You had to go all the way down to number fourteen to find Gamera, while Prince of Space came just behind it. And after those you didn't even see another one until the mid-twenties. That top 100 list has color episodes outweighing black and white 69 to 31, and most of the black and white episodes were scrunched together at the bottom.

It very much seems that statistics are against us on this. Old things are stupid and nobody wants to watch that.

When I did some research for Joel (for Cinematic Titanic) one of the things he was specifically looking for was that the film had to be in color.

It's really a bummer they're not using ANY black & white film for the new seasons, as there are plenty of that have HD transfers AND are in 16:9 (or could easily be cropped to 16:9). Stuff like THE GIANT CLAW, FROM HELL IT CAME, etc...

I REALLLLY want to see them do more I ACCUSE MY PARENTS/HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT-type films, those made for riffing gold. Granted, many of them would be difficult to find HD transfers for (save for those owned by the large studio who have HD transfers of their library).

It was sad hearing Joel saying "no more shorts/no b&w films" during one of the live show Q&As.

That's really, really sad. The era of "We never say, 'Who's going to get this?' We always say, 'The right people will get this.'" is dead, as they seem really concerned about making sure no one gets turned off.

[Mod City]

Nov 29, 2018 10:46:48 GMT -5 Diet Kolos said:

Nov 29, 2018 10:07:03 GMT -5 travis said:

When I did some research for Joel (for Cinematic Titanic) one of the things he was specifically looking for was that the film had to be in color.

It's really a bummer they're not using ANY black & white film for the new seasons, as there are plenty of that have HD transfers AND are in 16:9 (or could easily be cropped to 16:9). Stuff like THE GIANT CLAW, FROM HELL IT CAME, etc...

I REALLLLY want to see them do more I ACCUSE MY PARENTS/HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT-type films, those made for riffing gold. Granted, many of them would be difficult to find HD transfers for (save for those owned by the large studio who have HD transfers of their library).

It was sad hearing Joel saying "no more shorts/no b&w films" during one of the live show Q&As.

That's really, really sad. The era of "We never say, 'Who's going to get this?' We always say, 'The right people will get this.'" is dead, as they seem really concerned about making sure no one gets turned off.

Not sure it's making sure no one gets turned off, but that people tune in enough to keep the show going. These aren't the days of Comedy Central needing a two-hour program to kill huge blocks of programming time, so go ahead and do whatever you want.

This is an era of streaming and YouTube and a different kind of viewer. If the show doesn't draw those viewers, they have nothing. If it takes color and widescreen films to do that, well, so be it, as far as I'm concerned.