Corrupt a Wish!

[Don Quixote]

Okay, here's how it works (and sorry if it's been on here already). I make a wish, and the next poster tries to corrupt it. But if you post, you have to make a wish after your're done corrupting.

I'll start:

I wish that I had a better internet connection.

[DC]

You didn't specify what it has to be better than. So it is now better at connecting to the internet than a cheese sandwich.

I wish I had a U.S. dollar.

[DanielJacksonMPC]

You get a US Dollar. But it's an obvious counterfeit and when you try to use it you're arrested.

I wish I had a new girlfriend.

[losingmydignity]

But when you wake up sober in the morning she turns out to be Carol Channnninngg...

I find a really cool new apt.

[GodoHell]

You do. It's rent controlled, even. All you have to do is clean up after the packrat shut-in couple that lives there. Them, and their 43 cats.

I wish for a pony.

[Don Quixote]

Granted, but your new pony craps all over the place, and soon your entire home is coated in horse feces.

I wish that I didn't have to paint the deck today.

[Ro-matt]

You don't but it's only because I shot you.

I wish I had a million wishes.

[ratso]

For one day only the word wish is replaced with anal rape....



I wish I had class.

[Ro-matt]

Well you don't and never will.

I wish Ratso wouldn't have made me cry that one time.

[vanhagar3000]

He doesn't, instead he kicks you in the balls and you pass out, wake up ten hours later without your pants.

I wish the faucet wouldn't drip all day.
I wish that refrigerator door would close and stay closed.
I wish I had a stove whose pilot light was always lit.
[angels angel dust magic futurism supernatural modernization futuristic Populuxe kitchens desire surrealism]
Furthermore, a kitchen phone at hand when friends call up to chat a bit.

[Ro-matt]

The water would give you cholera
The food in the fridge is already spoiled anyway
The pilot light will soon blow up your place when it ignites the gas
And you have not friends to talk to anyway.



I wish for 10,000 virgins.

[vanhagar3000]

You got them, but they're immediately repulsed by you and kill themselves in a mass suicide.

I wish no one will corrupt this wish.

[Ro-matt]

Haha but it was corrupted by the corrupt police.


I wish for VH to live forever.

[guerayou]

Granted. But he becomes president and wrestling replaces baseball as the national sport.

I wish I didn't have to work.

[vanhagar3000]

First, how'd you know about my wrestling fix?

As for your wish, fine, instead I'll shoot this puppy in the head!

I wish for a woman, that's not disgusiting!