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Post by jkazoolien on May 26, 2015 3:17:33 GMT -5
Granted. You're Never-On-Time Man, you're never on time, not a very good trait for a superhero, that's for sure!
I wish for a whole new wardrobe.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on May 27, 2015 19:12:51 GMT -5
Granted, it consists entirely of used women's clothing that's too small to fit you.
I wish it were easier to get published.
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Post by jkazoolien on May 28, 2015 0:36:46 GMT -5
Granted. Every little thing anyone wants published is published, glutting the market and bankrupting the industry.
I wish for a sandwich.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Jun 3, 2015 19:21:31 GMT -5
Granted, it's made of cheap cat food between two slices of stale rye.
I wish the weather here were less cloudy.
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Post by jkazoolien on Jun 4, 2015 3:00:42 GMT -5
Granted. A major drought hits your area, which kills all the crops and causes worldwide famine...Jerk.
I wish my air conditioner worked properly.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Aug 21, 2015 19:21:46 GMT -5
Granted. It works so well that it hyper-accelerates global warming with the sheer amount of CFCs that it emits. I wish Crazy Magazine was still being published.
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Post by jkazoolien on Aug 21, 2015 22:01:40 GMT -5
Granted. MAD Magazine goes out of busines. (Wait, that's bad!?)
I wish for steak and all the shrimp I can eat.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Aug 22, 2015 18:46:17 GMT -5
Granted, you end up exploding like Monsieur Creosote.
I wish I could spent more of my nights at a peaceful little house out in the mountains.
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Post by jkazoolien on Aug 23, 2015 21:45:55 GMT -5
Granted, one more night for you!
I wish I lived in Italy.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Aug 24, 2015 19:09:45 GMT -5
Granted, you live in a Mafia-controlled Sicilian village.
I wish I could find better job opportunities.
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Post by jkazoolien on Aug 25, 2015 21:07:42 GMT -5
Granted, but they always *just* get filled when you finally arrive for your interview.
I wish American cheese actually tasted like cheese.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Aug 26, 2015 18:37:17 GMT -5
Granted. It tastes like cheese made from the milk of diseased wombats.
I wish I didn't sweat so much.
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Post by jkazoolien on Aug 29, 2015 23:56:01 GMT -5
Granted. Your lack of sweating is a sign of severe dehydration and you end up in the hospital.
I wish I never had to exercise.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Aug 31, 2015 18:38:57 GMT -5
Granted. You consume a diet consisting entirely of ultra-healthy but horrible-tasting foods.
I wish I lived further north.
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Post by jkazoolien on Sept 1, 2015 2:02:42 GMT -5
Granted. Say hello to your new home in Siberia!
I wish to have a good time at the Minnesota State Fair.
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