SFAH: Things you'll never hear a candidate say...

[I Reject My Slave-name]

'Of course, since the same folks fund all candidates anyhoo, this is really more about who you fear the most.'

'Of course, since the same folks fund all candidates anyhoo, this is really just about who you find the most attractive. And let me tell you, it's an area I know a lot about.'

'Well gee, I'd say I killed maybe around 30 people to get where I am today, and whored myself out to another dozen or so - that's an ongoing thing.'

'Ideally I'd like to continue funding my campaign via bribery, corruption, blackmail, and faked-suicides / hostile takeovers. And we'll take these wholesome values to office!'

'We, the people....and by that I mean you guys in the audience, cause even if I botch this I'll still be singing, I'll just stay out of the flashbulbs for a while.'

'You don't have to vote for me of course, but if you don't the MIB will be around to see ya.'

'My list of previous'? - as long as your arm, hon.'

'I'm a Communist, baseball-hating, terrorist-funder. Vote for me!'

[Hellcat]

"My opponent is a good, decent family man. He's a war hero and a dedicated public servant. In fact, now that I think about it, he's much better qualified for this office than I am. So I think you all should vote for him instead of me."

[I Reject My Slave-name]

'We're both in 322 anyway, so who you vote for just reveals what Overlord programmed you, and nothing at all about your politics. Good day!'