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Post by spacechief on May 19, 2006 4:27:50 GMT -5
Santa Claus (Episode #521) If there was a movie definition for the word "freakedoutweirdness" this movie would be it. I have never been this disturbed in my life. First lets examine this so called "Santa Claus". He has child labor, not elves, four white plastic reindeer, he lives on a space station above the North Pole, he spies on kid's dreams, he is allied with Merlin, he delivers presents to Mexico City only, and he battles the devil. Why a whimsical holiday delight like this would drive any young child to throw down their belief in jolly ol' St. Nick. On the MST side of things this is a great butchering. The downright weirdness give Mike and the Bots enough material to last for several movies. This is definitely a gem. Best Riff: [while Santa is reading a demanding letter] Why that's filthy! Best Line from the Movie: "We'll trip Santa, and stuff him in a bag and take all the toys for ourselves. Then we'll take him home and make him our slave." - The surprisingly evil little boy Best Sight: The North Pole child locating eye, which is really just the Martian's eye from "The War of the Worlds" just with a big eye stuck in the middle, and eyelashes added. MST3K Rating: 8 out of 10
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Post by spacechief on May 24, 2006 4:11:12 GMT -5
Teen-Age Strangler (Episode #514) Drag racing, leather jackets, hip music, and people getting strangled. Oh yeah this movie gives a new definition to the word "cool". It also gives a new definition to the word "brutal overacting" as can be seen in the police interview with the main girl ("I may have saw [sob boohoo] I may have saw [nearly screaming] A BULLDOG! [sob boohoohoo]") and of course any scene with Mikey (who may be the whiniest movie character ever). In the movie The strangler seems to follow the same methods every time!!! He always strangles a teenage girl (except for the time that he strangled the middle aged woman), he always leaves a lipstick mark on her forehead (Why? We don't know), and he always ummm... OK so he doesn't follow that specific of methods. The short is also great, and I have to think it was made by the same company who did "Are you Ready for Marriage?" The MSTing on this is pretty good as usual. Mike was still settling into his role, you could tell. The host segmets were good in showing what Mike's character was going to be and how he was going to have way bigger problems with the Bots that Joel did. The episode overall is average. Best Riff: "I've known your parents for 40 years" after the obviously not college girl says "Your parents are alright" Best Line from the Movie: Anything Mikey says Best Sight: Mikey getting kicked in the face MST3K Rating: 6 out of 10
Alien from L.A. (Episode #516) Alien from L.A is your typical "lets create a reason to give a swimsuit model a starring role" movie. It stars the mousy voiced Kathy Ireland (someone please tell me, is that her real voice?) who stars as Wanda Very Long Confusing Last Name, who starts out as a dork with glasses but gets rid of the glasses soon (and amazingly suffers no ill effects from losing her sight). Unfortunately for this movie it has terrible writing, directing, acting, and plot. To top it all off Kathy only appears in a swimsuit once so they can't even possibly make up for this boredrom. The main problem for the MST gang is that this movie is so inane, so weird, and so boring that there's not much more they can do with it. The movie practically makes fun of itself with lines such as "Your mom didn't leave you. She got hit by a car and died" and the line I've nominated for "Best line from the movie" below. Still they fare alright, and while this episode doesn't generate many belly laughs it keeps you giggling the whole way through (or is that Kathy's voice?) Best Riff: "No! That's a stage direction!" after Kathy reads "Don't laugh" from her dads notes Best Line From The Movie: "It's my dad. He's dead. It says he fell down a bottomless pit" Best Sight: Watching that skeleton somehow leap in the air and knock a pillar down causing a chain reaction forcing Cathy down the pit. Talk about your coincidences. MST3K Rating: 7 out of 10
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