judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Jul 23, 2005 2:18:36 GMT -5
313
Earth Vs. The Spider
The short: "Speech: Using Your Voice" The Only thing more enteraining and action packed than this clip (without J&TBs) is watching paint dry. Although you add J&TBs you can't help but laugh at the misused riffs concerning lip and tongue action. Definatley hiliarious mistified!
The Feature: "Earth Vs. The Spider" A hideous man is rushing home to give his teenage daughter a birthday present, when, from out of nowhere something sucks him dry. The very next day, Carol, the aforementioned teenage daughter of the now dead pickup driver, gets into a spat with her boyfriend Mike. They make up in the middle of a chemsistry class and Mike then asks his friend Joe if he can borrow his car. The two lovebirds find carol's father's truck messed up near a spooky cave, in which they wander into, only to fall into a huge spider web. They then meet the spider, find a way to escape, and go back to town to tell the sheriff, and the science professor. Both, of course don't believe them, but agree to check the cave out anyways in hopes of finding Carol's obviously dead father. The search party finds both Carol's dead father and the Spider, a deputy resembling Dr. Erhardt falls into the web, and becomes the Spiders second victim in the movie. They take the corpses to the morgue and fill the cave full of poison to kill the Spider. After they think they've killed the Spider, the "Eggheads" decide to take the "insect" (That's right, in the movie the so called "Science Experts" refer to an Eight-legged bug as an insect) into a lab for studying, only to find out that it was just briefly unconcious. What happens next is even more cheesier than the Mads Telephone for this episode's invention exchange.
What makes this movie bad: Need I mention again the Science teacher (who suddenly goes from Chemistry to Biolgy) calling a spider an insect. The "Special effects" ("Hey can you hand me that tonka truck"), and of course the spider crawling on a postcard, (in which Crow points out). Also what is Joe's character supposed to be? Is he a hip teacher"s assistant who conducts rock bands and lends students his car, or a fellow student.
The Episode: This one of the first episodes that got me into the show. After sitting through what was my then favorite late night talk show, "Night After Night With Allan Havey", I decided that I wasn't quite tired yet, so I stayed up to watch this new show that everyone was telling me about. The riffing on this episode is one of the best ever, it seems like there never was a time when J&TBs didn't have anything humorous to say. The Host Segments are pretty humorous. The opening segmant consists of a Gameshow "inside The Robot mind", hosted by Crow, in which he trys to get into the mind of Tom Servo. The Gameshow goes nowhere fast so an annoyed Magic Voice signs off into commercial right away. The invention exchange consists of the Mads' Cheese phone, while J&TBs present a CD Player/Hairdryer. The Third host Segmant is about Crow's screenplay, "Earth Vs. Soup", in which he gets into an argument with Tom Servo on creativity. The Fourth host segment, J&TBs start a rock opera called Spider, based on the movie. Right when they're about to jam a space janitor (Mike Nelson) spoils their fun, mentions Emerson Lake And Palmer, causing Gypsy to loose her lunch. The 5th host segments has joel bringing out his old childhood toys causing him to vent on how the parents of dumb children ruin everything. The Final host segment consists of Joel having the Bots read papers he assigned them.. In Deep 13 Frank gets sick from eating the Cheese Phone, and looses his lunch on the button.
Best Riff: (When Carol and Mike first discover what would lead them to her father's abandoned truck.) Mike: "Hold everything, What do you call that?" Servo: (In Carol's voice) "Oh that's just a dead fa.... A DEAD FATHER?! OH NOO!!"
10 out of 5 stars
Stinger: The guy in "Speach: Using your voice" describing something action-packed in a boring yet humorous manner.
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Aug 30, 2005 22:38:56 GMT -5
I modified in a way that fits the more common reviews I've been reading.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Aug 30, 2005 22:40:40 GMT -5
Definately, a episode that should be talked about more.
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Sept 17, 2005 19:15:38 GMT -5
402
Giant Gila Monster
The Feature: Giant Gila Monster A giant lizzard terrorizes a small southern town, so it's dorky teen Chase (with a banjo) and his sheriff buddy to the rescue! Meanwhile the dorky teen's kid sister is an leg braces (which gets Tom Servo all choked up), so Chase, like any other teen in the situation, takes out his banjo and sings her song. Anyways the lizzard takes out a train, and starts going on an eating spree.
What makes this movie bad: It just drags on and on and on... thank god for Joe and the bots. Oh, and your typical processed shots (who directed this, Bert I. Gordon?). Chase doesn't die.
Episode: Another one of my favorites, the riffing is great, the host segments, for the most part, are hillarious. The funny drunk skit is the best, folloed by the Barber/maltshop (as seen in the movie), then there's Frank telling J&TBs that Dr. Forrester has passed on.
Best Riff: Anything involving J&TBs telling Chase to shut-up when he's singing. Joel: "They killed the only likeable character!" (The Gila Monster)
4 out of 5 Stars
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Sept 17, 2005 19:19:42 GMT -5
Coming soon, my review of Sidehackers, Rocketship X-M, King Dinosaur, and I'll go back before TV's Frank, and Pre-Kevin Murphy's Tom Sevo Voiceover to "The Crawling Hand"
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Post by Chuck on Sept 19, 2005 10:33:48 GMT -5
The movie itself is one of my favorites. (In the small town I grew up in, rubber spiders were stapled to post cards, and were sent to everyone on the theater's mailing list. THE SPIDER - IT MUST EAT YOU TO LIVE!!) Their treatment of it is VERY good. As a matter of fact, this is the first episode my parents saw, and it turned them into fans of the show as well!
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Post by drlarryerhardt on Sept 19, 2005 12:19:38 GMT -5
Giant Gila Monster Premise: A giant lizzard terrorizes a small southern town, so it's dorky teen Chase (with a banjo) and his sheriff buddy to the rescue! Meanwhile the dorky teen's kid sister is an leg braces (which gets Tom Servo all choked up), so Chase, like any other teen in the situation, takes out his banjo and sings her song. Anyways the lizzard takes out a train, and starts going on an eating spree. What makes this movie bad: It just drags on and on and on... thank god for Joe and the bots. Oh, and your typical processed shots (who directed this, Bert I. Gordon?). Chase doesn't die. Episode: Another one of my favorites, the riffing is great, the host segments, for the most part, are hillarious. The funny drunk skit is the best, folloed by the Barber/maltshop (as seen in the movie), then there's Frank telling J&TBs that Dr. Forrester has passed on. Best Riff: Anything involving characters telling Chase to shut-up when he's singing. 4 out of 5 Stars I think that this episode is underrated! Can't believe that Torgo rated this one lower than City Limits, Oh well.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Sept 19, 2005 13:34:49 GMT -5
Giant Gila Monster Premise: A giant lizzard terrorizes a small southern town, so it's dorky teen Chase (with a banjo) and his sheriff buddy to the rescue! Meanwhile the dorky teen's kid sister is an leg braces (which gets Tom Servo all choked up), so Chase, like any other teen in the situation, takes out his banjo and sings her song. Anyways the lizzard takes out a train, and starts going on an eating spree. What makes this movie bad: It just drags on and on and on... thank god for Joe and the bots. Oh, and your typical processed shots (who directed this, Bert I. Gordon?). Chase doesn't die. Episode: Another one of my favorites, the riffing is great, the host segments, for the most part, are hillarious. The funny drunk skit is the best, folloed by the Barber/maltshop (as seen in the movie), then there's Frank telling J&TBs that Dr. Forrester has passed on. Best Riff: Anything involving characters telling Chase to shut-up when he's singing. 4 out of 5 Stars I think that this episode is underrated! Can't believe that Torgo rated this one lower than City Limits, Oh well. Yeah! That bastard! ...wait...
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Sept 22, 2005 20:11:21 GMT -5
303
Pod People
The Feature: Pod People First movie: A meteor full of alien eggs falls onto earth, a poacher finds it, and smashes most of them. Not Trumpy catches him, and kills him. Second movie: An annoying kid goes over to the exact spot and takes the only unsmashed egg home to his mother and uncle (unbeknown to them). The egg hatches, and Trumpy, the alien who can do "magic things" comes out. Third movie: A group of young hip Republicans finish a recording session, and head out to the said spot to camp for the weekend.
What makes this movie bad: Trumpy didn't suck the kid in through his trunk when he had many oppurtunities. The rock song in which the young republicans are playing makes no sense, and has no hook.
The host segments: Pretty good throughout the most part. The best one would be where J&TBs redo the song by the hip young Republicans, and as reviewer already mentioned, Gypsy always comes in late. Another great host segment is when Trumpy (Crow) does "magic thing" for Joel. The clsing song also is funny.
Best Riff: Joel: "Trumpy, you can do stupid things!" Crow: "Delicious kitty. Ouch! Feels like a potato. Oh. Where do I start? It all looks so good. Little winged potatoes. Ouch! That's my snout! Let go! This Potato's got big ears. It's a full buffet. Oh. Little Potatoes! Mmmmmmmmmm..."
Stinger: Hip young Republican saying, "It Stinks!".
10 out of 5 Stars, very funny episode.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Sept 22, 2005 20:18:18 GMT -5
Your episodes ratings are kind of inconsistant. First you rate on a ten star scale, then a five star scale. Also, ten stars in theory is too much. Stick with the five star scale is my suggestion.
I do like your reviews however.
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Sept 24, 2005 1:06:11 GMT -5
201
Rockethip X-M
The Feature: Rocketship X-M A group of Astronauts (including an European woman, and a shovanist pig) head to the moon in this 1950s Lippert film. The first 1/4 of the movie is when everyone is on Earth, and the movie just drags on until finally, they board the Rocket and head for the moon, when they suddenly hit a snag, they all fall asleep, drift into space and wander near Mars. So they jump at the opputunity to explore Mars since they might as well take advantage of the sutuation. Will our heros meet some hot Martian chicks? Will they explore the moon? Will Rocketship X-M make a safe landing back to Ear... Oh wait, TMI.
What makes this movie bad: It's a Lippert film, need I say more. Being that this is a Lippert film, the special effects are great! Who'd guess it was a dark room with christmas lights representing the stars that that wasn't a globe of the Earth, and balls to represent other planets and moons, and how they just wandered upon Mars when they fell asleep.. This movie is classic Lippert.
The Episode: In this episode we start off with Joel extremely busy, changing Servo's voice, and attending to Crows toothacke. After dealing with Crows toothacke, Joel starts up the new and improved Tom Servo (Enter Kevin Murphy). Servo's voice is not the only changes that have occured, in Deep 13 we meet Tv's Frank (Dr. Larry Erdhart has gone missing), who's attending one of many Deep 13's funcions, that being a restraunt. So J&TBs try to trick Frank into sending them back to Earth by saying that they'll eat in, just to have Dr. Forrester sneak in and give Fank the first of many "Owie! Owie! Owie! Owie!s" to come in the next 4 seasons. The invention exchange is funny, Joel invents a drum set that can make the bands drummer as dynamic as the rest of the band, and Frank steels the idea, causing for a second series of "Owies" to occur. The other host segments so-s- at best the only one which really sticks out would be Mike Nelson as the Eurpean girl from the movie.
Best Riff: Joel: "Looks like Arizona to me."
3 Out of 5 stars
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Post by Megaweapon on Sept 24, 2005 12:04:14 GMT -5
402 The Feature: Giant Gila Monster A giant lizzard terrorizes a small southern town, so it's dorky teen Chase (with a banjo) and his sheriff buddy to the rescue! Meanwhile the dorky teen's kid sister is an leg braces (which gets Tom Servo all choked up), so Chase, like any other teen in the situation, takes out his banjo and sings her song. Anyways the lizzard takes out a train, and starts going on an eating spree. What makes this movie bad: It just drags on and on and on... thank god for Joe and the bots. Oh, and your typical processed shots (who directed this, Bert I. Gordon?). Chase doesn't die. Episode: Another one of my favorites, the riffing is great, the host segments, for the most part, are hillarious. The funny drunk skit is the best, folloed by the Barber/maltshop (as seen in the movie), then there's Frank telling J&TBs that Dr. Forrester has passed on. Best Riff: Anything involving characters telling Chase to shut-up when he's singing. 4 out of 5 Stars Oh, I sing whenever he sings whenever she sings....I sing whenever she sings whenever he sings....Now ya got me doing it! ;D
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Sept 29, 2005 14:08:50 GMT -5
210
King Dinosaur
The short: "X Marks The Spot" Meet Joe, nothing wrong with him, just a selfish bastard on the road. Anyways, his last bout of selfishness leaves his driving guardian angel/ghost guy fed up, and causes him to leave earth. His driving guardian angel takes him to a drivers court in heaven, that only cares about road rage in New Jersey. To make a long description short, Joe has to listen to his ugly guardian angel/ghost guy describe everything he did wrong in detail, but hey, at least Joe never hit and ran.
The Feature: Four Scientists (2 couples) visit Nova, a prehistoric planet.. With Dinosaurs? Well we don't find that out until the last 1/8th of the movie (although there is cool "Man wrestling an Alligator" scene. "Go alligator!!") Anyways during their adventures on this planet they meet Joey, an adoreable Lemur, they befriend this animal and keep him for their own. Then, finally when there's only 15 minutes left in the movie, 1 of the couples, with Joey, decide to to explore the mysterious island that's on a nearbye lake, ocean, whatever. Much to their chagrin, they meet "dinosaurs", and get themselves in trouble. Meanwhile the blonde couple grow concerned and set out to rescue their fellow scientists. So they save them from the"T-Rex" that is holding them captive in a cave somwhere, and then they decide to do the sensible thing to do when discovering dinosaurs, when on a prehistoric planet with no one living there, set off an atomic bomb. Anyhoo, our heroes leave the planet undeformed in anyway whatsoever, and have plans for colonizing. it when they return.
What makes this movie bad: Welll it's a Robert Lippert film, that in itself says enough. It's suppose to be a prehistoric planet, yet the only prehistoric animals are an oversized bug, and "dinosaurs", which are really a bunch of processed shots of lizzards with dinosaur tales glued on. You can also see the string that is causing their spacecraft to float.
The Episode: The riffin in this episode is very good, especially during the short. You see, the guardian angel/ghost guy looks like the grill of a car meet his face when he met his doom, so now it's all bondo. Host segments are allright. The invention exchange is nothing special. The Mads get the upper hand in this one when Frank Squishes Dr. Forrester with the elevator, causing Dr. F to Be the invention exchange, and J&TBs invention is a pair of stinky socks. The second host segment causes Crow to reflect on the short, and wonders how we can all can judge others actions. Whichs is okay. The "Joey The Lemur song" is okay, but the funny one would be at the end when Joel explains the concept of Lippert films, and the Mads attend a kurosawa film festival.
Best Riff: Tom Servo: "That's one small step for man, one giant step into a cow pie."
Stinger: The aftermath of the alligator fight.
3 out of 5 stars
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Oct 2, 2005 2:57:48 GMT -5
317
Viking Women Vs. The Sea Serpent
The Short: "How To Bow down to shovanist pigs",err I mean "The Home Economics Story" Four college girls waste time and money in the '50s learning a career (May'be except teachin) they could easly do without the hassle and money in this age. You see in the days of maCarthy, if you were a woman, your only jobs were teaching, cleaning bedpans, being a waitress, or being Susie Homemaker, or else you were a one of them "reds". Of course all of the above mentioned jobs were low paying. Thank god for J&TBs, or else not only would this short be offensive, but also boring.
The Feature: Mrs. Helga and her gang of married Viking Women are growing concerned of their husbands long absence, so they vote with spears to set out and find them. So they grab dorky Viking reject Todd along with them and mysteriously wind up on the exact land that their "savage" husbands are being captive (after one of the very few brief encounters they have with the sea serpent). On that land they encounter a group of barbarians (with Prince Seyma, who's just as dorky as Todd). What else can I say about the plot, it's pretty weak just like every other Roger Corman film. Will the women rescue their men? Will a cast member from Teenage Caveman make an unplanned cameo? Will Todd prove himself a man? Is this movie the reason why my beloved NFL franchise is cursed? Watch and see.
What makes this movie bad: It's the same set as Teenage Caveman. It's like Corman just made 2 movies at the same time, and became almost as careless as Hal Warren when it came to movie making basics. The Sea Serpent only makes 2 brief appearences.
The Episode: The theater segments are hilarious! To bad I can't say the same thing about the host segments which just over did it with the waffle theme. The invention exchange was okay. The Mads had the Meat-Reanimator, whereas J&TBs had the waffle iron that could turn waffles into pancakes
Best Riff: Tom Servo: "Well, you swing your partner, swing your fist, pull her hair and break her wrist! Promenade!"
3 Out of 5 Stars.
Stinger: Semya saying, "But I'm A Prince!"
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judaspriest77
Tibby
The spider keeps eating the credits!
Posts: 53
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Post by judaspriest77 on Oct 6, 2005 20:50:41 GMT -5
311
It Conquered The world
The Short: "Snow Thrills" In this Castle short, we see a bunch of wild and crazy winter athletes risk their body parts, ability to walk, or even their lives for the thrill of it all. With the speedy narration of a '50s newsreader (who can't pronounce his Ks) we see a bunch of cool wipeouts, and some suicidal new sports (No, Snow Mobilie Sidehacking is not one of them, sorry) such as the bobsled train, and Ice yachting.
The Feature: In this Roger Corman masterpiece we meet Dr. Anderson, well I'll call him Lando, since he looks and sounds alot like Lando from Star Wars Episode V "The Empire Strikes Back" and Episode VI "Return Of The Jedi". Anyways before hand, Lando makes contact with a Venusian (An alien from Venus), who warned him that peril is at foot, and the only way to stop it is turn everyone into brainwashed zombie-like creatures of their former selves. At first no one believes Lando (his wife is embarrassed of him), and figure that he's some nut job with to much time on his hands. Thats Until a satelite in space mysteriously disappears, and then reappears crashing into a near by cave when Lando is informed by his Venusian friend that he/she/it hijacked it and crashed it into the cave to increase the urgency. All of a sudden, 8 Bat like thingies start flying all over the planet stinging people with a brain-washing substance, the only cure for this substance is a belly full of led, so all hell breaks loose. Peter Graves, some big actor's brother with a differen't last name, plays the hero who is the first to laugh at lando's loonyness, and then of course when it's proven true, tries to convince Lando that this Venusman is out to conquer the planet, not to save it. Well Lando gives his friend the cold shoulder, until he and Peter Graves witnesses it killing his wife. So they set out to the cave to kill the thing with the help of some soldiers (who were doing nothing in the movie before-hand but sitting in a forrest and not having a clue what's going on in the world.. In the end Peter Graves makes a big speech, which is rpeated 3 1/8 during the last segment of the show.
What Makes this movie bad: Well if you're still with me, reading my description of the movie was dull, imagine sitting through it without J&TBs. In the movie, the power goes out on everything that an unstung person has (including stuff that runs on batteries and water supply) to manipulate them into getting stung.. Already knowing this, Peter Graves' character returns home with the lights on, the shower running, and it STILL takes him a while to figure out that his wife had been stung. Like other movies by Corman, there's this big preachy speech at the end.
The Episode: This episode is pretty good. The riffing during the theater segments makes the movie so enjoyable, which is what I can't say about watching the movie without J&TBs. The host segments are pretty good too. especially the remake of the "Snow Thrills short. (featuring a new sport called "Frozen Pole Frenching") The host segment where J&TBs are having pie and coffee is also hilarious. The last segment gets over done when we see J&TBs watching the final speech of the movie, then of course, they read letters, and then we find the Mads transfixed with the final speech of the movie, then Frank pushes the Button, and we again hear the final speech being played again during the closing credits.
Best Riff: Crow: "Bad Carrot!! Bad! BAD!"
3.5 out Of 5 Stars
Stinger: A snippet of Peter Grave's movie ending speech.
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