Post by Apostasy's Angel on Apr 26, 2006 10:08:56 GMT -5
I particularly enjoyed this episode, mainly because throwing together random unrelated characters is exactly what I do in my own free time. I wish I would have come up with the concept of having Santa Clause team up with not only Merlin the Wizard but also Pedro the Small Mexican Boy in order to fight Satan's henchman, Pitch, in an inter-realm battle of festive holiday cheer.
Aside from the amazing concept, this movie was not good. Fortunately, the static camera angles were broken apart with the MST3K satelite crew exchanging savings bonds and JOIKE sweaters. I think the government should give me a grant so massive, it allows me to produce and direct a remake of this film starring Ben Affleck as Santa Clause and Johnny Depp as Merlin. The character of Pedro would be replaced with the Pedro from Napolean Dynamite, so all the loser college indy kids will spend money to watch my film.
It would be difficult to reproduce all the best parts, due to stereotyping other cultures. For example, I could not show many parts of the musical scene with Santa playing his organ. The African children wearing face paint and banging on drums makes the viewers assume that everyone in Africa is tribal when the truth is quite contrary, the United States portion of the musical makes it seem that Texas is the only populated state, and "Orient" is not a even country. I did laugh at these things, but it shows the people behind this film were very uninformed.
I would add more action into this story. Maybe Santa needs more James Bond style gadgets. Merlin could be the Q character, and Pedro's Japanese friend could be replaced with a mature bikini-clad Asian variation of Moneypenny. Santa's wind-up reindeer were a bit on the scary side. Please MTV, Pimp my Sleigh! The end was definately genious, with Santa's infamous line "I came here to eat candy canes and kick ass, and I'm all out of candy canes!" That would definately be incorporated into an all-out, action-packed, kung-fu, "Kill Bill"-style final battle.
I will be Quentin Tarantino's protege. That would be great. The world is definately ready for a film of such high caliber as this. However, it will not be done with any help from Mirimax, because that would simply wreck everything. After all, we don't need this genious action film to become transformed into the next stoner-flick. Any comments on this would be appreciated. If anyone knows of any good grants I could apply for, please reply here or PM me! Thanks for reading my review.
Aside from the amazing concept, this movie was not good. Fortunately, the static camera angles were broken apart with the MST3K satelite crew exchanging savings bonds and JOIKE sweaters. I think the government should give me a grant so massive, it allows me to produce and direct a remake of this film starring Ben Affleck as Santa Clause and Johnny Depp as Merlin. The character of Pedro would be replaced with the Pedro from Napolean Dynamite, so all the loser college indy kids will spend money to watch my film.
It would be difficult to reproduce all the best parts, due to stereotyping other cultures. For example, I could not show many parts of the musical scene with Santa playing his organ. The African children wearing face paint and banging on drums makes the viewers assume that everyone in Africa is tribal when the truth is quite contrary, the United States portion of the musical makes it seem that Texas is the only populated state, and "Orient" is not a even country. I did laugh at these things, but it shows the people behind this film were very uninformed.
I would add more action into this story. Maybe Santa needs more James Bond style gadgets. Merlin could be the Q character, and Pedro's Japanese friend could be replaced with a mature bikini-clad Asian variation of Moneypenny. Santa's wind-up reindeer were a bit on the scary side. Please MTV, Pimp my Sleigh! The end was definately genious, with Santa's infamous line "I came here to eat candy canes and kick ass, and I'm all out of candy canes!" That would definately be incorporated into an all-out, action-packed, kung-fu, "Kill Bill"-style final battle.
I will be Quentin Tarantino's protege. That would be great. The world is definately ready for a film of such high caliber as this. However, it will not be done with any help from Mirimax, because that would simply wreck everything. After all, we don't need this genious action film to become transformed into the next stoner-flick. Any comments on this would be appreciated. If anyone knows of any good grants I could apply for, please reply here or PM me! Thanks for reading my review.
