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Post by Justin T on Feb 13, 2011 1:38:12 GMT -5
Welcome back, I really like your reviews. Looking foward to more.
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Post by rorybhoy1888 on Feb 17, 2011 10:54:14 GMT -5
Keep it going Diet Kolos. Great reviews.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Dec 5, 2011 22:32:40 GMT -5
He learned almost too late that man must review episodes more frequently…
Next episode!
311-It Conquered the World w/short Snow Thrills
Short:
A manic announcer tells us of a multitude of fun ways to break a clavicle or get frostbite.
Movie:
It’s the 50’s, again. A bunch of scientists lose an expensive satellite, again. No, this isn’t “Lost Continent”. There’s not nearly enough rock climbing (or ANY, to be accurate).
Our two lead stars, Peter Graves and Lee Van Cleef play two prominent scientists. Peter’s the good guy and Lee’s been consorting with giant pickles from Venus. Beverley Garland plays Lee’s beleaguered and VERY patient wife.
Lee’s Venusian pickle friend comes to Earth and shuts down all power on the planet with the intention of ruling humanity. The pickle’s plans go to hell when Lee goes soft and decides to save humanity instead of helping enslave it. What a flip-flopper.
Peter Graves gives a nice speech at the end.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel tries out his ventriloquism routine with Crow. Segment 1: Crow tries his ventriloquism routine with Joel. Noose neckties, the Sony Seaman. Segment 2: Tom Servo’s Winter Sports Cavalcade. Segment 3: Joel and the bots drink coffee. Segment 4: Joel and the bots sing about fake celebrity siblings. Segment 5: Everyone listens to Peter’s speech. Over. And over. And over.
Things that I noticed:
-The Prologue is of the first few times they mention “Peanut” and “Woozles”, referencing Jeff Dunham and his routine.
-The Prologue is also a pretty good indication of the Brains’ feelings on ventriloquists and their acts.
-Joel’s invention IS pretty damn lame.
-A bit of the theater seats on the right side is still missing.
-Crow’s net falls off in Segment 2.
-Crow’s whistling whenever Peter Graves rides a bicycle is a reference to the mildly obscure Monty Python episode “The Cycling Tour”, one of the few episodes to stick to one plot the entire time.
-Great bit of physical humor from Frank in segment 5 while trying to eat his TV dinner.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Joel (as Crow, as Peanut): Whoa! I wanna go out and get me some chicks, ROWR!
Joel: You know there’s nothing quite as pretty on a summer day as arterial spray on the white snow.
Crow: Yes, its prostitutes on ice.
Announcer: And “she-ing” is the correct pronunciation, they tell us. Joel: Yeah, well you’re full of “skit”.
Crow: Yes, it’s never too early to fuse your spinal cord together. In a few years, these children will be addicted to painkillers, but for now little Billy is paralyzed.
Tom: Now its spit-spat to the Kattegat, where dangerous Danes camp it up with wacky cat-snapping! That’s right, folks - tease ‘em, freeze ‘em, and snap ‘em in half! Take these Freezy-Pop felines down to absolute zero and they crack like Turkish taffy.
Tom: This coffee tastes like it came out of an oil derrick. What, did you strain it through a mummy?
Overall:
An odd little movie. It wants to take itself seriously; what with the long, extended hypothetical, philosophical debates that Lee and Peter have. But it also wants to be a pot-boiling sci-fi movie; stupid, immobile alien and all. All the actors are giving it their all, Beverly Garland, especially. But the pacing is just so bad and uneven. Given to a better director of the period, with a better budget, this could have been a 50’s sci-fi classic. Instead it’s just another Corman quickie to throw on top of the pile.
As far as the episode goes, the short is killer. Absolutely CRAMMED with great lines. The movie is a talky one. Its prerequisite MST material but it seems the riffing takes a backseat to the film for good stretches. Decent riffing for the film, but nothing too great.
The host segments range from great to just “ok”. The ventriloquism stuff is great, but the inventions were very “meh”. The coffee bit is filled with scathing lines that could easily be utilized at any family dinner (depending on how you feel about your family). The celebrity sibling song is a bit lame. And I’m a sucker for repetition so Segment 5 is a winner for me.
Moderately-high quality episode. The movie bogs down the episode a bit, but the short is a hoot.
Score: A-
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Post by Diet Kolos on Dec 9, 2011 0:33:23 GMT -5
I’m posting more often, I’m dancing go-go!
Next episode!
312-Gamera vs. Guiron
Here’s the original promo for this episode (episodes used to premiere at 10AM?):
Movie:
A dizzying movie. Even for the Gamera series. There’s so much back and forth its easy to get motion sickness. Our two young heroes run from one side of the alien “star” at least 40 times over the course of the film. Gamera fights Guiron several dozen times in short bursts. Our hero’s sister tries to convince the cold and unfeeling adults on and off throughout the entire runtime.
That’s the plot. Stuff happens. It happens once. Then it happens again. Then things happen. Once. And repeated later.
Add Japanese people, TERRIBLE dubbing and Cornjob to that rough outline and you’d have this movie.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom and Crow play school lunch. Segment 1: Racy Rorschachs. The collapsible trash can. Segment 2: The Gamera song. Segment 3: Joel’s Gamera-themed magic show. Segment 4: A bio about Richard Burton. Segment 5: Another take on the Gamera song. Michael Feinstein entertains the Mads.
Things that I noticed:
-Note the MST lunch boxes in the Prologue. Very 4th wall.
-Joel’s trashcan is actually a pretty good idea. No doubt somebody’s ripped it off by now.
-Subtle call-back to the “funny or not funny flying” sketch from Season 2: “Something funny flying? Sebastian Cabot?”
-Not so subtle call-back: Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy!
-Another one of Gypsy’s add-on extensions is seen in Segment 3. This one: a tube of lipstick.
-Tom mention’s “Superboy: the crummiest show ever in first-run syndication”. Fun fact: Superboy was filmed from 1988-91 on the campus of the University of Central Florida in Orlando, which happens to be my alma mater. “Superboy” is not used as a recruiting tool for prospective students. No one talks about “Superboy”. Its best to forget “Superboy” ever happened.
-I love that the Mads just randomly decide to kill Michael Feinstein.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Dr. F: And wipe your hands. If I see a smudge, I’ll have you destroyed!
Crow (as Richard Burton): I wonder what the king is drinking tonight. I wonder if the king will get stinking tonight.
-Crow: It’s a space rabbit!
-Tom: That’s no ordinary rabbit! Crow: Look at the bones!
Tom: Ernest Borgnine IS Gamera!
Tom: Here in the orgasma-tron.
Michael Feinstein: OH MY GOD I’M IN SO MUCH PAIN SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME SOMEBODY COME AND SAVE ME!
Overall:
As far as films in the Gamera series go, this one sure has everything. Maybe not everything. But it’s sure packed to the gills with a lot of crap. The Gamera theme song, Cornjob, giant turtle high bar routines, etc. There’s a lot of really iconic suff that many fans associate with this period of the show’s history.
I feel that because of the constant repetitious moving about in the movie, the riffing seems to get weaker towards the second half. Not necearrily bad, just not as strong as when the episode started.
But besides that, the riffing on-the-mark; the host segments are all good, the standouts being segments 4 and 5.
Generally, a classic. One of the top 2 or so Gamera episodes. Highly recommended.
Score: A
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Post by afriendlychicken on Dec 9, 2011 21:46:41 GMT -5
(episodes used to premiere at 10AM?) Yes they did, back in 1991-1992. Depending on the time of year, in Hawai'i they would first show at 7am or 8am, and then the repeat would be at 4pm or 5pm on Saturdays. We received the West Coast transmission, so it would show for us 2 or 3 hours earlier than the posted time. I'm glad you're back at the reviews. Keep up the great work.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Dec 13, 2011 22:34:55 GMT -5
Time for a new review, let’s use plenty of lip and tongue action.
Next episode!
313-Earth vs. The Spider/w short Speech Using Your Voice
Short:
Professor Buehler teaches us the proper way of public speaking. We must be “pleasing” for some reason. Remember to use plenty of lip and tongue action.
Movie:
From the fertile imagination of Bert I. Gordon (“See that thing? Make it big!”) comes…this movie. In Anytown, USA, a man (Carol’s dad, hereby known as “Carol’s dad” as his name isn’t given, at least not that I could remember…) drives down the sidewalk, unwittingly about to become the prey of a crappy process shot of a spider meant to make it look giant.
His daughter, Carol (hereby known as “Carol”) goes out with her idiot boyfriend to find her dad, only to discover the horrible truth.
The plot continues with rogue science teachers, belligerent fat ass cops, giant spider webs, spelunking and large arcs of electricity. Its not as exciting as it sounds.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Inside the Robot Mind. Segment 1: The cheese phone. CD hairdryer. Segment 2: Crow’s screenplay: Earth vs. Soup Segment 3: Joel and the bots are Spy-dor. They get a visit from the Custodian of the 7th Galaxy. Segment 4: Joel discusses old, unsafe toys from the 60’s. Segment 5: The bots give their reports on Bert I. Gordon. Frank gets sick.
Things that I noticed:
-They must’ve had Josh on their minds when they wrote this episode, as there are two Dr. Erhardt references. The first in Segment 1 (“Thank you!”) and later in the movie (“Enjoy!”). This is notable because this is the last time the character is ever referenced.
-This film was made on the Universal back lot, on the same set as “Back to the Future’s” Hill Valley. It’s most evident in the first scene with Mike and Carol and when the spider first attacks the town.
-One of the later ram-chips appearances in Segment 5.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Dr. Buehler: You must learn the three basic aims of public speaking. Tom: Lie, lie and lie.
Crow: This man is wearing a push-up bra. Now he is pleasing.
Crow: Ugh, ugh! Gorog write screenplay! Ugh!
Crow: Whadd’ya think, soup is a biped?
Joel: Does your dad like bran?
Crow: Slipped on a little bit of your dad, I’ll have to throw my shoe in the grave.
Crow: Get a giant paper towel and smush it!
Crow: All night long, plaque works at your teeth.
Overall:
Another great episode in the long string of great early Season 3 episodes. And this one features another iconic B-movie. And it’s good. The film offers lots of opportunities for great riffs, and the guys happily oblige.
The short, on the other hand, is an odd one. It’s as if they chose it explicitly for the “lip and tongue action” line. The whole thing is a bit dull and drags.
The movie and the riffing on it are very entertaining, but like I’ve noticed in these early Season 3 episodes, they seem to run out of steam in the last fourth of the film and can’t reach the finish line. Which is a shame, because it was all going well until then.
The host segments, besides being a bit out of order, are mostly bland. Only segments 3 and 4 are memorable.
I’d like to rate this episode higher, but…I just can’t.
Score: B+
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Post by Diet Kolos on May 11, 2012 22:05:56 GMT -5
Well, so much for semi-regular updates…
Next episode!
314-Mighty Jack
Movie:
God, where to begin? Let’s see how far we get before it stops making sense.
*takes a deep breath*
Well…there’s an international organization of bad guys called “Q” and international organization of good guys called “Mighty Jack” (even though they’re exclusively Japanese). There’s a guy in France who gets kidnapped in a shrimp net and he’s gotta be saved because he’s a mountain climber… or something. So the good guys go to the evil HQ island and blow it up…and then another island is destroyed…and then someone shoots someone with a transparent bullet in a pet shop…and then there are scientists…and bastard sons…and Italian minstrels…and lime-green dresses…and frozen stuff…and exploding people…*shakes head*
Well, it certainly has a lot to look at, I’ll give it that. You figure it out.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Some-THING is wrong on the SOL! Segment 1: For those spy-types, the Mads have made the Formal-Flipper. Joel has a variety of ear-shaped earmuffs. Segment 2: From the makers of Hungry Man and Mighty Dog comes…this…thing. Segment 3: Joel resists the urge to look at blinding lights. Segment 4: Joel pitches movie ideas. Segment 5: “Slow the Plot Down”, Frank does Melville.
Things that I noticed:
-Nice Dutch angle in the Prologue. Combined with odd lighting and smoke, gives off a cheap yet convincing effect.
-Its been extensively noted elsewhere, but Trace really does have rather nice legs.
-Note Frank’s pronunciation of “SCUBA”, he’s almost saying “scuber”. Is that a New York thing?
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Uh…look, I tried to pay attention to this episode. I really did. But the movie…my god, the movie. I just couldn’t focus on the riffing. There IS funny riffing in this episode; the old pothead sequence is a great example. But…this movie.
Overall:
So, yeah. I was working on this review for a few months. Why? Because every time I sat down to watch the movie and finish my review, my brain melted. This movie is so long, and so confusing and SO BAD that I just…could NOT do the review without stopping the movie to scrub my brain. It makes me admire the Brains, who I’m sure had a similar reaction to it the first time they sat down to write the riffs. In fact, in the ACEG, Frank likens this movie to alcohol-related blackouts. I fully understand.
I’m honestly not sure how to grade this episode. I liked 5 out of the six host segments (the movie pitch sketch is LAME!) and the riffing is good, but the movie…*blacks out*
Score: C?
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Post by Diet Kolos on May 16, 2012 23:44:21 GMT -5
The Word is the Law and the Law is this Review…
Next episode!
315-Teenage Caveman w/shorts: Aquatics Wizards & Catching Trouble
Shorts:[/u]
Aquatic Wizards: It’s the 50’s! Welcome to beautiful Cypress Gardens in Winter Haven, Florida. It’ll be torn down in sixty years and molded into a horrible plastic jungle called Lego Land, but until then, enjoy some old Florida charm. Ahhhh. That’s nice.
Oh yeah, there’s, uh, water skiing. Group water skiing. For kids as well as adults. Is it safe? Hell no! But is it worth driving to the middle of nowhere in Florida to suffer through 90+ degree heat just to watch it? Well, no. But thankfully someone made this short so we can appreciate this abomination on water from afar.
Catching Trouble: It’s the 50’s! Again! Welcome to the beautiful(?) Reptile Institute in Silver Springs, Florida. I’m sensing a theme to the shorts…There isn’t much charm here. There’s not much to attract mom, dad and the kids into the middle of Florida, unless the whole family loves torturing small animals. God knows Ross Allen does. Or did. He’s dead now, so…karma and all that.
Movie:
Robert Vaughn is a teenager. Wait, stop laughing, I’m not done yet. Robert Vaughn is a teenager who just so happens to be a caveman. Shaggy toga and all. He’s a rebel, man. He’s going against the man, man. And he shot that fat barkeep. Or he broke the Word of the Law by wandering into borrowed King Dinosaur footage (Mr Corman, a Mr. Lippert on line one!). You know, like rebelling teenage cavemen are oft to do.
Frank DeKova is also a caveman. Whether or not he’s a teenager is never discussed. He doesn’t get a shaggy toga and has to settle for a shaggy diaper. This makes him a bit upset and he spends about 40 minutes raving about Words and Laws and Evil. Like Glenn Beck, but with a press-on beard.
There’s a lame parrot-monster costume thing that wanders around, and lots of “deep” dialogue about love and life and evil and the word and music and…zzz ZZzZZ zzz…oh, sorry. There are also walking scenes, natch. And Robert Vaughn runs head-first into a tree.
It was Earth all along.
Host Segments:
Prologue: It’s a rainy day (in space) Segment 1: Joel and the bots make ipecacs, the Mads battle over their invention Segment 2: Joel and the bots exact revenge on Ross Segment 3: The Mads continue to fight it out. Hi-Keeba! Segment 4: A rather astute dialogue on liberal thinking and arch-conservatives Segment 5: The bots are greasy Corman-esque monsters, the Mads reconcile
Things that I noticed:
-Gypsy doesn’t have a good poker face.
-Dr. F is holding an aerosol can of Pam for no apparent reason. In the Poopie blooper reel, he opens up the can and sprays some in his mouth. With hilarious results. Should’ve kept it.
-The ACEG misspells “ipecac” as “epicac”.
-The ipecac that’d work best for me? Lucky charms with cherry Nyquil.
-Joel’s slides that he uses in Segment 3, specifically the Flying Nun slide is from the “Funny or Not Funny Flying” sketch from 201.
Monty Python reference: Ross: Here’s his shed! Crow: Two-sheds?
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Narrator: The only requirement is the ability to swim. Joel: In four inch heels.
Joel: With Emo Phillips in a dress! Crow: I was wondering if maybe I could follow you into the woods and maybe we could see some aminals…
Narrator: Don’t you know you’re wanted in Chicago? Tom: For voting twice?
Tom: Ross tries to towel away the evil, but nothing doing.
Tom: How about dinner, movie and a drag by the hair?
Tom: Have you seen my training bra?
Overall:
The shorts are standard 50’s disembodied voice stuff. Goofy and offensive. Good material. I really never noticed until now that both were basically ads for 50’s attractions in central Florida. Good pairing, Best Brains.
Roger Corman sucks. What makes Roger Corman suck so much is not so much that he’s a bad director/producer/writer, and he is bad at all those things. No. He sucks so much because he has an odd reverence around him. He has fanboys. Disney bought the distribution rights to his catalogue of 400(!) “films” in 2005. The deal expires in 2017 or so. Yeah, don’t expect to see this episode released anytime soon. This man has been so diligent at being bad, people applaud his badness. They reward him for it. And he never has to strive for anything else. That is why he sucks.
Oh, and the movie sucks, too. Thankfully it’s short. But even as short as it is, it FEELS really long. Neat trick, Roger; very clever.
The movie has less to look at and much, much less going on than in Mighty Jack, yet I can watch it completely without wanting to tear my eyes out. Chalk one up to the power of Mighty Jack. I don’t think I’ll have to sit through another movie like that till ‘Castle of Fu Manchu’. *shudder* Anywho, this watchability also lends to the overall riffability and quality of the episode. It’s still dull and hard to watch. But Joel and the bots have fun with it, and that’s what counts.
The stand-out host segments are the bits with the Mads battling over who’ll present an anonymous, malevolent looking invention that’s only seen in the background and is quickly forgotten about.
This is one of those transition episodes where they start to move away from the earlier routines and evolve the show. Notably this is the first time they poke fun at the “Joel has educational slides” bit and those types of sketches get rarer going forward. There is also an early example of episode-succinct. “story arc” host segments that don’t find more use until later in late Season 4 and on.
Score: B-
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Post by Diet Kolos on May 19, 2012 9:56:48 GMT -5
I want a Coke, to hit those kids upside the head with.
Next episode!
316-Gamera vs. Zigra
Movie:
The two most annoying children in Japan test Gamera’s love of children. That’s it.
Ok, maybe that’s not it, but it might as well be.
Ok, so Zigra, a monster/spaceship from the planet Zigra is upset about pollution…for some reason. Especially 400 light-years away on Earth…for some reason. He enlists the help of a random Japan-o-naut woman…for some reason. They kidnap two scientists and their shrill, awful children…for some reason.
In any case, it’s all a bunch of pretense for monster fighting. And not much monster fighting, either. Just some “wet” laser shooting and a quick romp on the beach where Gamera finally loses his last shred of dignity. And that’s saying something for a monster that’s done gymnastics.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel and the bots have a kegger to celebrate the end of Gamera Segment 1: The Mads have Three Stooges guns, Joel has a Crow-ka-bob Segment 2: A diorama of Gamera, with built-in guts Segment 3: Shoebox dioramas of the Gamera films Segment 4: Kenny and Helen show up and are badly dubbed Segment 5: Alternate Gamera theme songs
Things that I noticed:
-Magic voice has had one too many.
-Frank gets his cord pulled (off-camera). And does the same “Owie!” thing from 201.
-I like Gypsy’s diorama the best
-Frank’s sunglasses fall of fall off soon into the Mads’ song. He keeps going. Very punk.
-This episode contains a large amount Monty Python references, much more than any other episode. Someone at BBI must’ve been watching a marathon on Comedy Central.
-The cure for alien hypnotism? AHHH!!! AHHHH!!!
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Dr. F: Hey spinach-chin! Frank (stiff): No, Moe nyuk-nyuk-nyuk, woop-woop. Dr. F: Oh, how I loathe you. Frank (stiff): Coitenly. Woop-woop.
Crow: Ha ha. Look, they have funny Japanese names.
Crow: Oh! The stretching beam! You blurred me!
Narrator: Sea World: the international marine life center. Tom: Sushi lovers go straight to the source.
Officer: They don’t look like they can see anything, but they can walk around without bumping into anything. Crow: Just like grandpa.
Overall:
I think I’ve mention how much I hate those stupid kids in the Gamera films. Oh, I’m pretty sure I’ve gone over it. Well, Kenny and Itchy a cool groove compared to Kenny and Helen. These kids turn annoying up to 11. And what’s worse? They seem self-aware. As does the whole movie. Its all winking and nodding at the audience. Just terrible.
As far as the segments go, it’s a celebration of the Gamera movies. Or, a celebration of getting past the Gamera movies. Either way, it’s a Gamera retrospectivus. And it’s refreshing to see that the Brains hadn’t run out of Gamera-based sketches by the time this episode rolled around. That’s not to say the sketches are good. The only stand-out is the Gamera diorama because it’s so well-written as well as the alternate theme songs, if only for the delightfully unexpected punk rock Mads. The shoebox sketch is…endearing but ultimately lame. I liked the concept of having a badly-dubbed Kenny and Helen show up, but in execution doesn’t do much for me. The same with the Three Stooges guns.
A solid episode, just like most other Gamera episodes.
Score: B
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Post by Diet Kolos on Apr 6, 2013 20:11:06 GMT -5
Well, less than a year in between reviews...not bad! At this rate I'll be done in 2030...
I'm a Grimauld warrior!
Next episode!
317-Viking Women and the Sea Serpent w/short Home Economics Story
Short:[/u]
Ahhh....the beautiful campus of Iowa State College (now ISU, go Cyclones...or not, no one really cares): home of bored, future-housewives and stupid, cornfed men who couldn't get into the real University of Iowa and can't wait to get the hell out of Ames.
Women are taught that their lives can only consist of waiting hand and foot on others: men, children and other more manish women. So they need training. And this is where they get it.
Movie:
In the faraway land of tennis players and Ikea comes the saga of lonely, co-dependent women. Women (who happen to be Vikings) that risk life, limb and hair volume to find their men.
Aided by their mascot and the town's confirmed bachelor Todd, they sail the mighty waters of the North Atlantic in search of of a Y chromosome. Other than Todd's, naturally.
The women encounter a lame sea monster, crash in the land of hirsute men and ultimately get their men back thanks to Thor, god of bad special effects and lots of walking.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel introduces us to waffles and their efficacies. Segment 1: Joel grosses out the bots. The meat re-animator. The waffle iron. Segment 2: The robots love waffles now. Segment 3: Waffles. Segment 4: Willie the Waffles explains the importance of waffles to Tom. Segment 5: The Waffle Song. Dr. F gives Frank a shock.
Things that I noticed:
-My tape copy, along with most people's is in pretty bad shape. Not KTMA bad, but noticeably worse than 99% of all taped copies. This episode was re-run several times during the CC days, its amazing that a better copy doesn't exist. Here's to hoping for an official release some day.
-No more Crawling Eye in the intro! Its been replaced with Godzilla's ass-gliding. The intro would remain like this until the Season 5 upheaval.
-I'm wondering what they made the many, many waffles out of for this episode. If I had to guess, I'd say some kind of foam rubber...
-A waffle shake sounds pretty good, actually.
-Dr. F uses the Aunt Jemima nickname twice in Segment 1.
-Love the visual of a knife-wielding chicken.
-The short is a long one, all the way to the first host segment, and the movie a short one mercifully, because while the film is only about 30 minutes long, it still feels like about four hours thanks to all the damn walking.
-A five pound party is a real thing. Or, it used to be, I can't imagine anyone still does them.
-In segment two, note Gypsy's spatula headgear.
-I feel like Corman spent most of the film's budget on the Winnie the Pooh style credits.
-I'm not sure if I feel bad for Todd. He's the only man within 100 miles, all the women are desperate for men, and they're willing to risk their lives on the open ocean than take a shot with him. Then again...Todd may miss the men just as much as the women.
-Joel mentions Diana Nyad and her attempts to swim the channel again. Nyad never actually swam the English Channel, but she has attempted several times to swim the Florida Straights and failed.
-In college, I was bored in the library one night and went on a search for all things containing references to MST. One of the things I found was a collection of published feminist essays. One was about how MST was sexist because of this episode and She Creature. I disagreed.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Frank: The other day my colon looked up at me and said 'Thank You'. And I said, "No, thank YOU."
Crow: I took several heavy blows to the face with a lead pipe.
Narrator: Kay thought she'd like that kind of work. Joel: Kay was wrong.
Narrator: Kay's home would be like this. Crow: A dungeon.
Narrator: Early October, headed to Home Ec Hall... Joel: Tragedy struck: a lone gunman. *shots*
All: Look! Look! Look at my crotch! Look at my crotch! Look at my crotch!
Crow: Oh no! You put the laundry in the composting toilet!
Crow: All My Vikings.
Crow: Its Kate Bush!
Crow: Help me! I'm being attacked by a ham sandwich!
Tom: Why are you wearing a tiara my son?
Overall:
This episode must've been hell for people who were high. All the waffle love would be torture for one with the munchies.
The short is a classic. A real killer. About 80% of the laughs in this episode come from the short, which is a shame because it only takes up 25% of the run-time.
Like I said, the movie is short, which is to be expected of Corman. And like the last short Corman movie, Teenage Caveman, it draaaaaggggsss oooouuuuttttt. God it drags. Unfortunately, this movie isn't as goofy as Teenage Caveman. And the view-ability suffers because of it. The riffing is good and consistent, but the movie can't keep my attention.
The host segments are...out of left field. But I think the waffle thing goes about 2 sketches too long. It starts as a Monty Python=eque bizarre theme, but then they extract EVERYTHING out of it. The Prologue, Segment 1 and Segment 4 are all they really needed. I'm actually a little miffed they ignored the Home Economics possibilities in Segment 2 for a rather lame sketch about the bots' obsession. The song in Segment 5 is jaunty but...meh. At that point I stopped caring.
So, overall, a mixed bag of an episode. Not nearly as good as its spiritual sibling 315-Teenage Caveman.
Score: C
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Post by Diet Kolos on Apr 7, 2013 20:49:07 GMT -5
And a ferret!
Next episode!
318-Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
Movie:
After an eight episode delay, the adventures of Earth's worst starship crew is back. Joe, Ken and the rest of our friends on the Backus-3 are off on a dangerous mission: try and get the plot to make sense.
On their way to the planet of Fascist Smurfs, the ship gets caught in the gravity of a dying star. The crew sweat, moan and roll around in their pleather jumpsuits for about 15 hours, but eventually make it out.
They infiltrate the Smurfs' batcave with some creative jumping, destroy their mega-weapon and, in a sudden onslaught of editing, are suddenly at UW-Stout. Ken meets his fake mom for the first and last time and gets his ass handed to him by a drag queen.
Ken goes off and destroys an entire evil civilization by himself, for the most part. And he rides off into the sunset.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The bots discuss the ins and outs of puppets vs. costumes. Very 4th wall. Segment 1: The puppet quiz. Big noses. The Big Head. Segment 2: Tom is in trouble. Tonight on Emergency 911. Segment 3: The amazing Captain Joe Action Figure! Segment 4: The Fugitive Alien Medley. Segment 5: The bots think of ideal bad guys. Letters. Frank embarrasses Dr. F.
Things that I noticed:
-Joel's eyes are very blue.
-I'm thinking the Big Noses might be a reference to Raymond Luxuryacht (Throatwobbler Mangrove) from Monty Python.
-I think there's a pretty big edit during the commercial break after the first theater segment. I've read that there was a prolonged scene involving being caught in a black hole, but combined with being caught in the star's gravity 5 minutes later; it may have been fatal for viewers.
-Crow's Shatner isn't that great.
-Segment 2 is filmed hand-held. A rare instance of active camera movement in the early seasons until they got the new camera fixture in Season 8.
-While the plots don't make any damn sense, I do appreciate the special effects that went into these Fugitive Alien movies. Their a step above most all of the other Japanese movies they ever watched. And they were originally only for TV.
-Whoever does the Casio keyboard imitations of the Fugitive Alien songs (Mike, if I had to guess) does a pretty darn good job.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Joel: Moew-Moew Kitty. What kind of puppet? Crow: Hand? Joel: And? Crow: LAME hand puppet.
Joel: Mm-HM! That's good blow!
Crow: Me so silly!
Ken: Captain! Joel: I scored another game!
Tom: You know, I just love the whole incoherent Mighty Jack quality of this film.
Joel: Hey, check it out! They're fighting ZZ-Top!
Overall:
The last Sandy Frank film. And the last Japanese film Joel would ever see. And boy does Sandy Frank deliver on that fever-dream quality all of his productions seem to go for. The "tenpurature" scene that goes on for 45 minutes is claustrophobic and uncomfortable and interminably long. The rest of the movie is a breeze and is great for the riffing, but that first act is rough. I sympathize with Tom.
Interesting that this episode is so far from the first Fugitive Alien. The riffing quality and technique have fully changed since the slower, more easy-going style from early Season 3. In fact, I believe this episode is a benchmark in the evolution of the show. Even the riffing of the prior episode felt more loose and easy. But this is tight and consistent riffing on all cylinders. And while they are assisted by cheap and easy call-backs from the prior episode, they don't rely solely on it. And I believe this marks the beginning of what I'd consider the prime "golden age" of MST.
The host segments are ok. The Captain Joe sketch and the musical medley are the best of the bunch. The invention exchanges are rather lame. Segment 5 is good if only for Tom's David Brenner-based bad guy. Segment 2, while uniquely shot, is rather forgettable.
Overall...VERY strong riffing. Goofy buy not too arduous of a film. Mediocre to good host segments. A solid episode. I think I can highly recommend this one.
Score: A
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Post by Diet Kolos on Apr 15, 2013 22:44:26 GMT -5
Wish I could wear tights and prance around.
Next episode!
319-War of the Amazing Colossal Beast w/short: Mr. B Natural
Short:
CONN, the music instrument company makes this well-intentioned (and by well-intentioned, I mean "meant for marketing purposes to sell crap to kids") little short feature about why kids should play instruments. Ho-hum. Nothing to see here...
Except...for the "tit"ular Mr. B Natural, our tour guide through musical Hell. Never has there been a more disturbing (and yet somehow alluring) character shown on MST. Truly the stuff of nightmares.
Movie:
Giant Glenn Manning, presumed dead at the end of Amazing Colossal Man, catches a case of sequel-itis and turns up in Mexico; harassing well-meaning underpaid workers and bread deliverymen/police officers.
His previously dis-owned sister (as its clearly stated in the first film he has no family) wants to go find him, but apparently a 60 ft man blends in well to the landscape of northern Mexico and no one's seen him.
Eventually, Glenn is found and brought to the highest density location he could fit into: Los Angeles. Mayhem ensues. Giant sarongs are worn. Scientists get crushed. Buses are shaken up. And the 50's end when the world gets colorized.
Host Segments:
Prologue: New names for old Mexican favorites. Segment 1: The breakfast bazooka. The between-meal mortar. Segment 2: The Mr. B debate. Segment 3: Glen visits, talks about Hollywood. Segment 4: KTLA predicts! Segment 5: Bread. Letters with Glenn.
Things that I noticed:
-You can see towards the end of the Prologue that the Mexican food cards are just made of re-purposed cue cards. There's still writing on the back!
-Joel messes up in Segment 2. But with how long and talky this sketch it, I can understand why they wouldn't want to re-shoot.
-In Segment 3, when "Glen" is knocking on the ship, you can hear him quietly saying "Hello?"
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Joel: ...do what Madison Avenue does and find a whole new way to love the same old crap.
Dr. F: Oh, Frank! Come in for breakfast! Frank: I"m playing! Dr. F: You...die...Joe!
Joel: Evil. She's evil.
Mr. B: Knew your father, I did. Joel: Leave my father out of this!
Crow: Tone it down lady!
Crow: I feel ill.
Tom: MOOOOMMMMM!!!!
Mr. B: You gotta inspect your horn boy. Crow: And wash it every day.
(I honestly could quote the whole damn short, its so good from beginning to end)
Crow: Hey! I'm drunk, but I'm not THAT drunk!
Joyce: Glen was sixty feet tall! Joel: Think there's a connection? Nahh...
Tom: Oh no, it backfired! He's grown in twelve ways!
Joyce: I know ten gallons is a lot, but... Joel: And that's just for his hat!
Overall:
This episode is the short. Period. That's the important thing here. The movie? Meh. Yeah, big guy goes berserk, they make jokes, KTLA, etc.
The short? The short should honestly be the main name of the episode. The short...my god. That short IS MST3K. Seriously. Those 20 minutes are pure, undiluted MST. Its as close to perfection with the show that you'll ever get.
Having said that...the movie gets lost in the process. Its standard fare. Par for the course for this season. Nothing spectacular with the riffing. Ok, not great.
The sketches are good-to-ok. Thing start out well in the Prologue and Invention Exchange, love the breakfast bazooka. The Mr. B debate is great. And then...they get....meh. Glenn really didn't need to re-visit and has nothing interesting to say. And Joel's Dr. Bronner veg-out is cute, but I think is lost on 80% of people. Segment 5 is a waste.
So, watch for the short. The film is optional.
Score: A- (mostly for the short)
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Apr 16, 2013 16:27:15 GMT -5
Keep it up, DK! I always enjoy seeing the Review board get some love.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Apr 21, 2013 21:08:37 GMT -5
Time for review episode!
Next episode!
320-The Unearthly w/shorts: Posture Pals & Appreciating Our Parents
Shorts:
Posture! Its important! For your future and stuff! At least that's what's drilled into us in this relatively harmless short. A bunch of kids compete in a brutal competition to see who can display the best posture.
Parents! They're important! For your future and stuff! Almost as much as posture. This helpful little short gently reminds us not to be ingrateful little bastards. Help out once and awhile. Do your share. And get a haircut, ya hippie.
Movie:
Robert Carradine is a mad scientist, a stretch for him, but...oh well. He runs a rest home. Where people can recuperate from whatever ails them. And, of course, they can be used as his lab rats. He's working on some sort of gland. Something to do with immortality. He's even got Al Lewis locked in the basement, along with a bunch of freaks.
Anyways, he has a large assistant, Lobo (the lovable Tor Johnson!) and a busty assistant, Sharon, who seems familiar from some other MST movie, but I can't place her.
The rest of the plot is forgettable. There's a lot of walking around a bland house, Carradine being grossly thin, some glands and a few circus freaks.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The bots manufacture "spontaneous" humor for an AFV-type show. Segment 1: Hard Pills to Swallow. Celebrity products. Segment 2: Appreciating Gypsy. Segment 3: Tor Johnson's many roles, via the Video Toaster Segment 4: The Unearthly board game. Segment 5: "Dead End Kids" lingo.
Things that I noticed:
-More close-ups of Joel in the Prologue! This might be the fourth time in Season 3 so far. Going beyond his very blue eyes, what's up with his eyebrows here? They have something of an odd look to them. Like they've been combed. Disturbing.
-Crow's legs in the Prologue! One of the more illusive sights on MST. Wonder what those talons are made of.
-Ironic how they make fun of AFV in the Prologue, and a few years later Trace ends up writing for them.
-Trace is enjoying himself a little too much during the invention.
-They'd mimic the backlit posture test in the middle of next season.
-In Segment 2, note all the past Invention Exchanges and props lying around. Spot as many as you can. I see the 3D Pizza, the Big Head, etc.
-This may be one of the last times that they explicitly state how intelligent Gypsy is and where all her processing power goes to. The last slide of Gypsy in Segment 2 is apparently in the nuclear core, deep within the bowels of the ship. But it looks like the bridge to me.
-The artist's rendering re-appear in Segment 3. Notably, Christopher Reeve flying in "Monsignor".
Favorite riffs or quotes:
Crow: Mmm. Tastes like real chalk. Joel: Just like I said, like real Pez.
Joel: He's a loser and the kids let him know it.
Tome: Here she reinacts her first DUI.
Joel: NO! MY SPINE!!! AGHHH!!!!!!!
Tom: Next week: Posture Pope. In color!
Tom: Its called guilt, and boy does it work.
Crow: Here's a penny. Happy birthday.
Narrator: Tommy will get to see what mom and dad do after Tommy goes to bed. Joel: And what all the yelling's about. Carradine: You seem a bit wobbly. Joel: I'm a Weeble.
Crow: That's not writing, that's typing.
Joel: Stop fighting and give me skin!
Overall:
The movie drags. That's an understatement. The movie is about 75% set-up. It take about an hour for all the thematic elements to set up, all the characters to be in the same place, all the forced romances to be made. By the time all the pieces are in place, the cops show up and fuzzy freaks appear in the basement. And its not that long, either. Which is its only saving grace.
This episode has two shorts, thankfully. And this may have been the perfect time for the Brains to pull out the old "short at the end" trick they did during Ring of Terror. At least there'd be something of interest towards the end of this episode. But, no. About halfway through I kept turning off the episode out of boredom. The riffing really doesn't help.
The sketches are good, though. Love the AFV bit, the WONDERFUL pill invention, Appreciating Gypsy and the slang bit at the end. The only clunkers are the board game sketch, which is tolerable but reminds me of the movie's drudgery, and the Video Toaster. That last one had the feeling that they bought a fancy new gizmo and wanted to show it off. And not very well, either. Really, just a bad sketch.
The shorts are both really good. And I wish I could recommend this episode, but it took me five viewing just to write this review. So...no. Ignore this stinker. Except the shorts. The only good thing I can say is that it isn't "The Castle of Fu Manchu", an episode I am NOT looking forward to.
Score: C-
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Post by Justin T on Apr 21, 2013 22:20:56 GMT -5
Yes keep the reviews coming, I always enjoy reading them ;D
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