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Post by Diet Kolos on Jun 26, 2017 22:33:32 GMT -5
This review is dedicated to Uranus!
Next episode!
412-Hercules and the Captive Women
Movie:
Reg Park is Hercules (not Maciste), who it seems is now an elder statesman in Thebes. His heroics are now limited to the occasional throne tossing. His wife is nowhere to be found, but he now has an adult son, and the apple fell quite far from the tree.
Some vague cataclysm happens/will happen, which we’re told of vaguely by a vague, blurry vision and a vague prophet. Its all window-dressing to get the plot going, as the rest of the movie doesn’t seem connected to it. Anywho, the King of Thebes, Androcles, sets out to stop this vagueness. He Shanghai’s Herc. And they set off, with Herc’s son stowing away.
There’s some vague mutiny. They land somewhere and are attacked by vague people. Androcles disappears. Hercules is set adrift and he comes upon the island of Proteus, god of bad puppetry. Herc does his thing, kills Proteus, lowers the shield surrounding Atlantis and then the movie REALLY gets confusing!
There are dozens of (literally) identical characters. Evil Queens (natch!) High priests. Midgets. Easy to escape traps. Fog. Uranus. Mutants. Underground parking ramps. And then Hercules accomplishes some vague goal and the movie ends with 15 minutes of Atlantis blowing up and helpless, innocent civilians being crushed by rocks.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Gypsy begs to join the experiment Segment 1: Tom and Crow doubt Gypsy. Lawn Baby. Womb-mate. Segment 2: Good-natured brawling Segment 3: Crow reads some inaccurate Hercules lore Segment 4: The Hercules action figure Segment 5: A funeral/party for the Hercules movies. Letters. The Lawn Baby gets Frank.
Things that I noticed:
-This is the first time since early Season 3 that the Mads’ daycare center is mentioned. It is also the last time it’s mentioned.
-The Lawn Baby is so stupid. But I love it so much.
-Trace is very clearly animating the “baby’s” arm in the Invention Exchange.
-In spite of what Dr. F says, this is NOT the last Hercules movie. Sadly.
-The Gypsy experiment ends as quickly as it began. It was never a sincere attempt to include Gypsy, but more of a quick example to fans who asked why she wasn’t in the theater.
-The queen’s clone minions look exactly like Graham Chapman. I’m disappointed they didn’t make the connection.
-That’s Mike or Frank’s voice in Segment 4 as Hercules. I’m leaning toward Frank. He isn’t credited, however.
-The Hercules action figure’s arm falls off almost immediately, Joel keeps going and nonchalantly screws it on later.
-There’s moody, low-key funeral dirge in the background of the beginning of Segment 5, its barely audible.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Joel: In fact, apparel is half-off this week.
-Servo: Its Club Club For Men.
-Joel: Atlantis? That’s where the Superstation comes from!
-Any variant of the Uranus gag.
-Crow: Number 2,000 pencil works every time!
-Crow: Help me Zeus.
-Joel: Crap, I didn’t think it would be that bad.
Overall:
Boy, you can always tell how little I care for an episode by how long the wait is between reviews, eh? God, this movie is a mess. Its either edited all to hell, or its completely incoherent in pace and tone. Its bright and colorful, but completely devoid of discern-able plot. Hercules goes somewhere. Hercules destroys something/kills someone. Hercules meets evil queen. Hercules falls asleep. Its all the same as in Hercules Unchained, but it makes even less sense.
The riffing is ho-hum. Auto-pilot. The host segments go through the motions. Cute more than funny. A very drab episode, in spite of the colorfulness of the film. Just…not very good.
Score: C-
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jun 26, 2017 22:39:15 GMT -5
I would like to note that June 12 was the 10 year anniversary of this thread. And that in 10 years, I've only gotten through 49 episodes. A tribute to procrastination!
I remember starting this as a bored college student in my dorm room. Then forgetting about it. Then having Van Hagar troll me, thus spurring my reviews onward.
So I would like to officially dedicate this thread and all of my reviews to the late, great Van Hagar. Wherever you are, buddy, I want you to know that your weak attempts to get under my skin only made me stronger, and I wouldn't still be doing this today if it weren't for you.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jul 1, 2017 22:27:08 GMT -5
Well, time to review. Kiss the gay nightlife goodbye.
Next episode!
413-Manhunt in Space w/Short-General Hospital 1
Short:
In a gray, drab hospital, Nurse Jesse laments her cold and distant fiance. Meanwhile, a doctor talks to his patient about hernias.
That’s it.
Movie:
A movie version of a cheesy 50’s sci-fi show. The Space Rangers patrol the spaceways of the United Worlds. Chief among them is the lamp-jawed, immobile Rocky Jones. He and his wormy sidekick Winky get called away from their gay nightlife to investigate space piracy. Rocky’s lady friend Vena and her nondescript pilot get hijacked and shanghaied by said pirates, but are quickly rescued. The plot to untangle who’s behind the pirates leads Rocky and Winky to multiple identical planets, they employ “cold light” that makes their ship invisible, meet Martians, and play practical jokes on the bad guys. Inoffensiveness 50’s fun all around.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Black&White vs. Color films. Tom is colorblind. Segment 1: Beanbag pants. Recycled paper clothes. Segment 2: The bots play soap opera. Joel doesn’t want to play soap opera. Segment 3: “Space” talk. Segment 4: Joel and the bots meet self-proclaimed ladies man Winky. Segment 5: Joel sets up the bots as a guitar/amp pair. Letters.
Things that I noticed:
-The production slate says that this episode was filmed (or edited) on 8/4/92.
-I don’t quite get the use of the General Hospital shorts. For one, they aren’t shorts. They’re segments. And they’re not really a serial, either, like Phantom Creeps. They’re sort of connected, but barely. They’re not memorable in the least. They’re drab and dreary and they really don’t get any good material out of them. And they use 3 of them! I know one of the writers (I want to say Mary Jo…) proclaimed their love for GH in the ACEG but…cripes. They could’ve at least gotten some segments from the 70’s or 80’s. It just makes me think of all the better shorts they could’ve gotten to instead of these.
-That pitcher that Joel uses in the invention exchange is clearly a “magic pitcher” used in magic acts.
-Open flames in the invention exchange! Haven’t had that much dangerous fire on the SOL set since Season 1!
-Tom references the Minnesota North Stars. The North Stars were Minnesota’ NHL team from the late 60’s to 1993, when they moved to Dallas and shortened their name to “Stars”. Minnesota would get its team back in 2000, the Wild.
-Where exactly is the Rocky Jones series taking place? And when? They mention Earth and Mars. But they also mention several other, fake planets. But they also talk about everything in the sense of it being in one system. Weird.
-At certain points in the movie, they list the “Federation” style collective of planets as both “The United Worlds” and “The United Planets”.
-In Segment 4, Joel tells Crow that the Fugitive Alien movie he’s referencing was “like 20 experiments ago”. Episode 318-Star Force: Fugitive Alien II was indeed 20 episodes ago.
-In Segment 4, the shirt Winky is wearing is an MST3K shirt with a ring around the Moon, to match those worn by the character in the movie.
-In Segment 4, the microphone Winky uses is the one Frank uses the first time we see him in 201.
-Also in Segment 4, we get another uncredited voice role for Frank, here in the form of Winky’s mother.
-Nice visual in Segment 5 of Dr. F trying to use a yardstick to press the button, only for it to fly out of his hand.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Dr. F: First, a little kinescope suppository from our video depository.
-Joel: Sounds like General Hospital on ice.
-Joel: Nothing an expensive operation can’t complicate.
-Crow: Let me punch you in the sternum to simulate the pain.
-Crow: Underneath those clothes, he’s smooth as a Ken doll.
-Tom: Winky, you’re not a swinger. You look like Hardware Hank.
-Joel: That kid’s gonna have the darkest dreams he’s ever had.
Overall:
This stretch of Season 4, from about 407 to, oh, 417 is to my eye a plateau as far as quality goes (with notably good episodes like 411 stuck in). I’ve mentioned riffing autopilot in recent reviews, and this plateau is highly characterized by it. There’s a lot Hercules movies, a lot of black and white films, General Hospital shorts, its just…boring. The Brains don’t seem to be stretching themselves creatively at all and seem to be resting on their laurels and…I don’t want to say “not trying”, but at this point they seem to have come up with a comfortable recipe for an episode and are using it over and over. Which is to be expected when you have 24 episodes in a season. But its a bit bland. I don’t know what happens behind-the-scenes at the end of the Season to snap them out of it, but the riffing does certainly get better later, and the host segments start to get more creative.
In any case, this episode is square in the middle of this plateau. And my review of it is going to say basically what I’ve said about the last few episodes. Its not a Hercules movie, thankfully. But the General Hospital short is a complete waste of space And the movie is the blander companion to the better Crash of Moons. Its basically the same 3 sets, the same characters, going back and forth. Its boring. Its dumb in a fun 50’s way, but that only holds so much cache.
The host segments are of the“cute but forgettable” variety seen in the episode’s contemporaries, with the exception of the Winky sketch, which is very funny.
Very ho-hum.
Score: B-
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jul 4, 2017 21:13:42 GMT -5
This review killed me! This review killed me!
Next episode!
414-Tormented
Movie:
On a Martha’s Vineyard-esque island somewhere off the East Coast, this moody, brooding film noir takes place. A jazz singer, Vi, being spurned by her lover Tom, accidentally falls to her death from a lighthouse (partially thanks to Tom’s criminal negligence). Which is convenient for Tom, as he’s getting married that week. Too bad Vi doesn’t give up easily, and haunts Tom as a waterlogged, seaweed-ravaged ghost.
Tom must navigate Vi’s haunting, his upcoming nuptials, blackmail from jive-talking boat captains, blind housekeepers, tiny witnesses and his own guilt. A taut little thriller, probably Bert I. Gordon’s best.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The bots stow away in a vent and taunt Joel. Gypsy ruins things. Segment 1: The Aunt Catherine Wheel. The drinking jacket. Segment 2: Joel gets stuck in the vent and the bots taunt him. Segment 3: Joel and the bots let contemporary singers plummet from a lighthouse. Segment 4: The bots behead themselves and torment Joel. Segment 5: Joel and the bots sing a song about happy thoughts. Frank does, too. But Dr. F stops him short.
Things that I noticed:
-The production slate says that this episode was filmed (or edited) on 8/18/92.
-In the Prologue, the Servo that falls from the ceiling ricochets off presumably Kevin and flies stage right. You can hear Kevin audibly “ow”.
-While Burger King doesn’t technically have a “Shamrock Shake”, they do occasionally release a mint-flavored shake around St. Patrick’s Day to compete with McDonald’s.
-In Segment 1, a rare post-Season 1 view of Gypsy’s “body”.
-In Segment 2, Joel’s got GREAT calves. Although, I wonder if he’s ACTUALLY hanging from something, or in a harness.
-A hopelessly obscure riff: Joel mentions the watch with the “VI” inscription as belonging to “V.I. Warshawski”, a fictional detective in a series of obscure novels, who was the titular character of a film that came out in 1991 starring Kathleen Turner, which was a critical and commercial flop.
-That beatnik boat captain? Joe Turkel! The Bartender in “The Shining” and Tyrell in “Blade Runner”! He’s also the hard-to-hear Sheriff in 523-Village of The Giants. The Brains never seemed to notice.
-How is Sandy Meg’s sister? Sandy is 10, maybe 11. Meg’s a full-grown adult, 25-26. Their mother is pushing 55. Their father looks even older. I’m guessing Sandy was written as older, but Bert I. Gordon specifically wanted his daughter in the role.
-Liquor Lyle’s is a Minneapolis institution since 1963. Not a liquor store, as the name implies, it’s a full restaurant and somewhat seedy bar.
-Tom’s head falls off in Segment 5, they keep going.
-Great foot acting from Trace in Segment 5.
-This was Production Manager Alexandra Carr's last credited episode. She was with the show starting at KTMA and played Magic Voice from Season 2 to her departure.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Dr. F: Deep pockets really hide the booze!
-Joel: It’s over, Ivana!
-Joel: That’s what she gets for railing against him.
-Tom: I think it’s a piece of brain!
-Joel: Put her down, Jerry Lee!
-Crow: Damn! I’m still a crappy musician!
-Tom: Gee, you’re a spooky old dame.
-Joel: She’s Mrs. Michelin Man.
-Tom: Are you a hu-man?
-Crow: Have you seen my “Kill Waldo” books?
Overall:
The movie’s not that bad. Pretty snappy, to be honest. Its effective. Cheap, but effective. Some pretty good performances out of the actors. Too bad Bert I. Gordon didn’t stick to the hard-boiled film noir genre more. The riffing is still basically auto-pilot, but the movie provides great material and they feed off it’s energy pretty well. The host segments are OK, the inventions and Segment 5 are the best. The lighthouse singers falls a bit flat, but I like the premise. Not a GREAT episode, but one of the better ones of mid-Season 4.
Score: B+
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jul 10, 2017 20:40:06 GMT -5
I reviewed that fat barkeep!
Next episode!
415-The Beatniks w/Short-General Hospital 2
Short:
Clinically depressed nurse Jesse throws the most drab and passive-aggressive engagement party ever for some frumpy, gray 60’s people. And…that’s it. Again.
Movie:
Clinically stupid Eddy Crane and his greasy “beatnik” friends (including Peter Breck as “Moon”!) roll into Los Angeles and rob liquor stores. Coincidentally, Eddy is discovered as a singer and becomes an overnight sensation. He’s too dumb to ditch his loser friends, however, and Moon stabs a fat barkeep (his name was Gus!). Things deteriorate from there, including Moon’s mental state, but Eddy is still too dumb to notice. He records his first hit and falls in love with the oddly-proportioned Helen. Moon stabs Eddy’s agent, and instead of calling the police and simply having Moon arrested and going off to become a star, Eddy stupidly subdues Moon and turns himself in, admitting his being accessory to murder of said barkeep. And he really didn’t have to. What a dope.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel plays a sadistic game of Rock-Paper-Scissors with the bot. Gypsy intervenes. Segment 1: Good Luck Troll costumes. Pocket pool. Segment 2: Beatnik talk. Segment 3: The bots have a sleepover and fantasize about Tony Travis. Segment 4: Servo quickly goes through all the stages of stardom. Segment 5: Letters. Crow channels his inner Moon.
Things that I noticed:
-In the Prologue, Magic Voice is played by Mary Jo Pehl for the first time. Longtime production assistant Alexandra Carr’s last episode being 414.
-Pocket Pool is a dirty pun. But they stick to the bit and make it much more than that, thanks to some nice foley.
-Frank shakes the whole set at the end of Segment 1.
-In Segment 2, Tom is reading the old “Tiger Bot” magazine prop from way back in Season 1.
-Also in Segment 2, Joel’s “dad” getup includes his normal glasses. He says “you know” about 10 times.
-In Segment 4, all of the newspapers are different editions of Variety (I spotted what looks like May 15, 1991, June 18, 1992, etc) blown up. Besides the Servo headlines, there’s usually a variation of “Zack Norman is “Sammy” in Chief Zabu”. Though its a shame the papers are framed so poorly, some pretty funny headlines, like “Crix Nix Bot’s Pix”, are barely visible.
-Also in Segment 4, during the last transition, you can clearly see a hand place the liquor bottle on the counter.
-In Segment 5, Tom is silently mouthing along to the letter.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Frank: Nothing makes a coed melt more than looking like a combination of Michael J. Pollard, Yahoo Serious and Buddha.
-Tom: There’s a layer of squirrel in here!
-Crow: Booze really satisfies. Joel: Booze takes a dull party and makes it better. Tom: Booze makes you popular and heals all wounds. All: B-double O-Z-E, BOOZE!
-Tom: That’s the government for you.
-Joel: Dish of ice cream? Don’t tempt me!
-Tom: I’ve never seen an injection molded face before.
-Joel: He kind of reminds me of a singing weatherman.
-Tom: Pasta fondue!
-Tom: Hot dog! At least somebody scored! I can go home to bed now.
-Crow: We’re shooting the dishes.
-Tom: Leather bar…slingshot briefs…
Overall:
Another black and white movie. With another black and white General Hospital short. They thankfully get better material to work with in the GH short this time around, but it still remains unmemorable even with better riffing. The movie itself is a vaguely charming little film, if not incompetent. The Moon character is memorable, mostly for Peter Breck chewing scenery by the yard. And the riffing seems a bit more lively than in the past few episodes. The host segments are all ok-to-good. Segment 2 and 5 being the weakest for me. Perhaps The Brains are coming out of the their mid-Season 4 doldrums? (The next episode answers a firm “No”, but I’ll save that for next time)/ Overall…a pretty good episode. Nothing too amazing, but certainly on par with the prior episode.
Score: B+
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Post by Diet Kolos on Aug 6, 2017 22:14:13 GMT -5
Get away from that review, you bitch!
Next episode!
416-Fire Maidens of Outer Space
Movie:
A space agency even more casual and sexist than the one in Rocketship X-M, and evidently sponsored by a tobacco company, sends a half dozen or so identical doughy white guys to the thirteenth moon of Jupiter for some never-explained reason. Tons of stock footage is employed to show their trip. They encounter the requisite meteor storm on the way, but it doesn’t even interrupt their smoking.
They land, disembark, walk for 10 minutes, interrupt a hairy-faced guy from attacking a woman and 2 of the landing party end up being entertained by an older doughy guy in his compound which he calls New Atlantis. Because the survivors of old Atlantis left Earth. Somehow. And made their way to the thirteenth moon of Jupiter. Somehow. Anywho, it’s only gramps and his dozen-or-so “daughters”, who he treats like trading cards in that he promptly gives them away to the first man that walks by.
The movie then staggers back and forth for another 45 minutes. There’s lots of dancing and astronauts sitting around smoking and walking and a crummy-looking monster killing the doughy old guy and the movie ends with all of the astronauts getting new space brides. Even the ones that were already married.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel teaches the bots about posture. Cambot is attacked. Segment 1: Crow gets a friend: Timmy. The Big Checkbook. The Nike Air-chilada. Segment 2: Double entendres. Timmy takes it too far. Segment 3: Joel demonstrates the universal 2-lever system. Timmy makes mischief. Segment 4: Timmy attacks Tom. Joel recreates the climactic scene from Alien. Segment 5: The bots try to make sense of the film and cry. Letters. Frank meets Timmy.
Things that I noticed:
-Fire Maidens of Outer Space was NOT supposed to be the movie for episode 416. It was originally going to be Charro!, the 1969 Elvis Presley vehicle, considered one of his worst (and that’s a low bar!). The title of 416-Charro appeared in the bi-yearly updated episode guide included in the “Life Survival Kit” you received when you signed up for the fan club. Fire Maidens was supposed to be 417 and all the other late-Season 4 episodes were shuffled around. They’d even gotten so far as writing the episode when the rights were pulled. This was the first major instance where they couldn’t get the rights to a movie they wanted. Other films they were going to do before the rights fell through at the last minute: Moment By Moment, Starship Invasions, The Land Unknown, Beyond The Bermuda Triangle, an unknown Erwin Allen disaster film and the ACEG talks about how they couldn’t get Radar Secret Service in Season 2 before getting it in Season 5. Additionally, in the Summer 1990 edition of the Satellite News, along with oblique references to other upcoming Season 2 films, they list “a Made-For-TV Movie, which may or may not be infested by Robert Reed.” This seems to me to be a description of SST: Death Flight.
-This episode premiered at the end of Turkey Day ‘92, right before This Is MST3K.
-In Segment 1, Timmy is menacingly eating an apple in the corner.
-I love the Big Checkbook prop, along with the big pen.
-Edit: Having bought the final DVD set, I finally have a clear image of the contents of the Big Checkbook. Besides stuff in the Register such as "Feelios", "Miami Pro Am" and "Bake Sale", the checks themselves are from: TV'S FRANK or DR. CLAYTON FORRESTER DEEP THIRTEEN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, 59875-3412 (800-555-3123)
And the Bank is: First Chemical Hazard Trust Co. 11000 Avenue of the Americas Washington, D.C. 10004-0012
The ZIP code for the UNDISCLOSED location puts the Mads in the tiny Western Montana county of Ravalli.
-This is the episode that made Frank Zappa a fan, roughly a year before his death. Zappa recounted to the Brains his experience of flipping through TV and coming upon Segment 3 of this episode, right when the lights come back on for the 2nd time and Joel, as a clown is roasting Tom Servo on a spit. It was enough to tickle Zappa’s twisted sensibilities and he stuck around for the rest of the episode and became a big fan. He was even in the initial stages of putting together a project with the Brains involving a movie about a giant spider from the spider’s perspective when he died in December 1993.
-A detail you might miss among the other weirdness at the end of Segment 3: Joel’s jumpsuit is on backwards.
-Good subtle puppetry from Jeff Maynard as Timmy in the theater. Slow, deliberate movements. You almost don’t notice he’s in the theater until he’s there.
-In Segment 5, Frank is mashing together the endings from Being From Another Planet (when the annoying dean burns his hand and screams) and High Plains Drifter when Clint Eastwood’s character burns down the town.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Crow: I was thinking I could just marry into posture.
-Narrator: In the mutual interest of security for all mankind… Crow: There is no smoking on this flight.
-Tom: Say! This IS a joint operation!
-Joel: Please remain seated until the movie grinds to a complete halt.
-Tom: Allow me to knee you right in the groin, Ted.
-Tom: It’s Nancy Kulp night.
-Crow: She’s built like a brick sh-sh-showboat.
-Joel: Grandma was hot.
-Crow: Is that Jon Cryer back there?
-Tom: Maybe she’s an Ellen Jamesian.
-Joel: Cy Roth, shame on you.
Overall:
Remember what I said about how you can tell how I feel about an episode by how long it takes for me to review it? Well, here we are a month+ later. Adding to my distaste for this episode is that it’s ANOTHER Black & White movie. This is, in fact, the 4TH Black & White movie in a row. And it won’t be the last. This whole stretch of Season 4 is starting to become a drag. It’s not a BAD drag, it’s just so very, very average.
The first half of this movie is riffed well. But the second half becomes an tangle of people running back and forth and women screaming that the “This is boring!” riffs begin to get a bit cumbersome.
I like the Timmy skits. They’re all strong and a nice change of pace. I like the inventions. So that sector of the episode is good. But the back half of the movie REALLY drags this down.
Score: B-
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Post by CrowTrobotfan92 on Aug 9, 2017 9:59:13 GMT -5
Timmy was eating an apple? I always thought he was holding a bindle.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Aug 9, 2017 21:52:18 GMT -5
Timmy was eating an apple? I always thought he was holding a bindle. Nope. Watch how he brings it up to his mouth, "chews", brings it down, repeat.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Dec 31, 2017 20:11:30 GMT -5
This review is so klandinktu!
Next episode!
417-Crash of Moons w/Short-General Hospital 3
Short:
Another General Hospital short! Where unappealing characters cheat on each other and Nurse Jessie walks on the brink of suicide! I can understand why it became such an escapist fantasy.
Movie:
The sequel to Manhunt in Space, only with an interesting plot. A United Worlds space station gets caught up in the atmosphere chain between two wandering twin planets (even though they’re referred to as the “Gypsy Moons”), threatening Rocky Jones’ annoying companions. Rocky (and the ever-punchable Winky) saves them at the last minute.
The rickety old professor stereotype determines that one of the “moons”, Posita (the one occupied by John Banner in a Flash Gordon get-up), will crash into Ophiuchus, home of the evil ice queen from the prior episode, Cleolanthe.
The rest of the episode is spent trying to convince Cleolanthe from killing everyone on Posita, Ampersand’s wife commits treason, and people slowly evacuate themselves before the titular celestial event occurs.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow tries to sell grit. Segment 1: Deep 13 Toothpaste. Rock-and-Wreck Guitar. Segment 2: The Gypsy Moons. Segment 3: Banner-grams. Segment 4: Crow’s Sci-Fi spec script. Segment 5: Letters. The SOL gets a Banner-gram, which they promptly send to the Mads.
Things that I noticed:
-”Dentfrice” is a word you don’t hear very often.
-”When Ann Sexton throws a dinner party.” is one of those wonderfully obscure references that this era of the show displayed in spades.
-The riff-off for the opening credits was a clever way to make something we’ve already seen seem fresh.
-You can see Joel’s hand pushing the “waves” in Segment 2.
-The “in Denver!” bit in Segment 3 is a satire on long-distance commercials from the early 90’s, wherein calling someone in Denver was seemingly always used as a go-to example for long-distance telephony.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Dr. F: Frank, quit bogarting that toothpaste!
-Crow: Life getting you down? Headache pain? Try booze.
-Tom: This weighs a ton. I shouldn’t have used that sacc-rete.
-Joel: Sure, Ken’s not anatomically correct…
-Joel: Lego Hospital: Snap-tight hernia sold separately.
-Crow: That desk is scratching the heck outta those hardwood floors.
-John Banner: Booby! -Joel: Poopie?
-Tom: Yuck. You can see Rocky’s whole area.
-Crow: I wonder if he knows he’s beating the crap out of Carl Sandburg.
*Crow gives Joel and Tom complex space-y names* Crow: Gypsy, you’re Sue Anderson. Gypsy: Aww.
Overall:
The 5th black and white episode in a row! But! And this is important, they’ve woken up and stopped resting on their laurels! This episode is a marked elevation from the prior plateau of quality, and marks the beginning of a rapid rise in episode caliber at the end of the season. The riffing is a big step-up, and is brisk and lively throughout the episode. This episode boasts the first General Hospital short that has really good riffing. Too bad it was the last. Its a shame the prior 2 were equivalent to riffing sleepwalking, but the tone finally matches up with good riffing and they fly through it, and into the film, which I chuckled through with several laugh-out-loud moments.
The host segments are all lively and well-written, with Mike’s John Banner impression the keystone for the episode. Highly recommended.
Score: A-
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jan 30, 2018 20:58:02 GMT -5
Its time for the the review!
Next episode!
418- Attack of The (the) Eye Creatures
Movie:
In the 60’s, a clandestine military outfit populated entirely by perverts and oily car salesmen tries to track UFO’s and to keep the information from the local populace (also made up entirely of perverts and oily car salesmen, plus Old Man Bailey).
One day-for-night night, while the perverts at the base are spying on the local teens (“smoochers”) necking in the woods, a UFO happens to land. Its inhabitants, mutated Michelin Men that we’re told are Eye Creatures, stumble out into the woods to wander around, interrupt teens mid-coitus and frame them for vehicular homicide. Their plan never really gels.
Two teens, a couple that doesn’t need names, run over an Eye Creature with their car. There’s a switcheroo where they report it to the police, but by the time they arrive the Eye Creature has been replaced with a dead oily drifter. How’d it happen? Supposedly the Eye Creatures switched the bodies, but its never spelled out.
Anywho, the teen couple and the dead drifter’s equally oily roommate (how does a drifter have a roommate? We’ll have to wait until Girl In Lover’s Lane to answer that question…) team up to hunt the Eye Creatures, and end up foiling them using car headlights, which causes the creatures to explode.
A rumpled, wrinkled, hate-filled old coot (the aforementioned Old Man Bailey) makes a cameo, ranting and railing against smoochers on his property.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom and Crow are best friends. It doesn’t last long. Segment 1: The Router-Ouija Board, The Funny Gag Fax Segment 2: Tom wants to know about making out. Segment 3: Earl Holliman! Segment 4: The Rip Taylor Trio. Segment 5: They just didn’t care.
Things that I noticed:
-The slate card says this episode was finished on 10/20/92.
-I genuinely can’t tell if Crow’s arm coming off in the Prologue was planned, or just happened and they went with it.
-The sign behind the Mads in Segment 1 says “Number of Seances since last injury: 13”.
-You can clearly see the water hose coming up under Dr. F’s coat in Segment 1.
-The voiceover for the UFO film early on is Peter Graves
-There’s a low-level rumble from Tom’s car throughout Segment 2.
-While the TV show referenced in Segment 3, “Delta” was a short-lived failure, Earl Holliman himself was nominated for a Golden Globe for his work on it.
-There’s something distinctly “off” about this movie (“Duh!”, I hear you say!). The movie, as Tom puts it, is David Lynch-style creepy. But not in the way the filmmaker intended. I think its the Loony Toons soundtrack, the sleazy dialogue, the easy-going acting of each character, the goofy plot, etc., that pushes it into some unintentional Uncanny Valley of creepy where its so stupid and cheap and lazy that it comes off as a a genuine horror movie from some parallel dimension.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Tom: And now the most instantly unappealing character in film history.
-Joel: Pontiacs are really funny if you look at them a certain way.
-Captain: Alright Sergeant, what’s up? Joel: I am, sir.
-Crow: Yay! Kill all the characters!
-Joel: Earl Holliman! Who would’ve been William Shatner had there not already been one!
-Tom: David Lynch only aspires to make something this creepy.
Overall:
Ahhh…feel that warmth wash over you. Yes, its a movie…in color! Even if it is washed-out color. This goofy (albeit oddly creepy, see above) film is the palette-cleanser that launches us into the phenomenal last act of Season 4. Cast off those dreary General Hospital shorts! Throw out those tedious black&white cheapies like Fire Maidens of Outer Space! We’re going to some weird, wonderful places, and there’s no time to be bored!
A very good episode, though I may be contrasting it positively against the slew of episodes preceding it. The movie itself feels very short, though its long enough not to need a Short beforehand to pad the episode. Its breezy and goes by quickly, with very few riffing lulls. The riffing itself is both clever and funny. They make several pointed comments about how cheaply the film was, how unappealing the characters are, etc, while also maintaining a high rate of unrelated reference riffs. They strike the right balance of hating the film, but not to the point where it becomes a misery to watch.
The host segments are…mixed. Not a bad thing. The quiet, reflective nature of the making out sketch is contrasted with the high energy madcap Rip Taylor and Earl Holliman bits. Back down to a focused autopsy of how cheap the film is.
And while the Earl Holliman sketch is entirely one-note, their enthusiasm, plus some sharp writing, elevates it past where it should be. Its almost a Sci-Fi era sketch premise: One thing (actor, place, tangentially related object), repeated endlessly until all possible humor is wrung out of it. “Alas Poor Who?” “William Sylvester Trivial Pursuit”, etc. The only difference is the sheer exuberance.
A very good episode all around.
Score: A
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Post by Diet Kolos on Feb 25, 2018 18:22:23 GMT -5
This review is like a hatbox: the brain is missing!
Next episode!
419-The Rebel Set w/Short-Johnny at The Fair
Short:
A prequel to The Kids In The Hall, or perhaps a promotional film for the 1947 Canadian Exposition, its hard to tell. Little Johnny wanders away from his parents and instead of being kidnapped by radical Quebecois separatists or maple syrup rustlers or whatever threats they have in Canada, samples the sights, sounds, smells and whatever odd chemical solutions are put in front of him.
Movie:
By god, there be beatniks here! Real, honest-to-god beatniks! Not like the titular cast of “The Beatniks”, who were more of a…rebel set.
Anywho. In an LA beatnik bar/jazzclub/poetry slam hall, the long-winded and vaguely sinister, bearded proprietor, Mr. Tucker (played as bored and nondescript as possible by Edward Platt) is putting together a scheme with his character actor henchman and instructs him to round up 3 losers:
1.John Mapes. A lousy, out of work actor with a put-upon wife. 2.Ray Miller. A lousy, out of work writer with goofy roommates. 3.George Leland. Chase from the Giant Gila Monster gone bad.
Having gathered the 3 dopes, Tucker informs them of his incredibly convoluted plan. They’re going to steal $1 million. From a truck. Outside of Chicago. But they’ve gotta take a train there. Because. And Tucker and his henchman will travel by car. Because. And then supposedly they’re going to get back on the same train and meet in New York at the end. Instead of just getting on another train back to LA. Or, just stealing the money from a truck a little closer than Chicago. The plan isn’t any good, but these guys are dopes and they’ve got nothing else going on so they agree.
John’s wife joins him on the train, even though he was told not to. It doesn’t really matter, she doesn’t affect the plot in the least. Anywho, they ditch her in Union Station for 4 hours while they drive 50 miles out of town to rob a truck and leave 3 witnesses that see all of their faces. They get back on the train, but! So does a suspicious-looking priest…why…ITS EDWARD PLATT! AND HE DOESN’T HAVE A BEARD! What a twist!
Mr. Tucker aka The Priest plays cat-and-mouse with our team of geniuses, who only realize what’s going on just as he’s about to kill each one or frame them for murder.
The movie finally decides its tired of staying in the same location and whipsaws its tempo by concluding with an exciting 10 minute chase through a rail-yard.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel tries to read Tom and Crow a scary bedtime story, but the only thing that scares them is saccharine self-help books. Segment 1: The quick primp kit. The Mark Rothko paint-by-number. Segment 2: Scott Baio acting lessons. Segment 3: What to do on a 4-hour layover in Chicago. Segment 4: Joel’s train-themed writing workshop. Segment 5: Who is Merritt Stone?
Things that I noticed:
-The slate card says this episode was filmed (or edited) on 11/04/92, one day after the Presidential election.
-The self-help books bit in the Prologue and Segment 1 is excessively 90’s and hearkens back to a time when vacuous, treacly self-help books dominated bookshelves nationwide.
-In Segment 1, Frank says “on line” to refer to being in a line at a movie theater. This is apparently a New York thing.
-Last March, I essentially followed Crow’s plan for a 4-hour layover in Chicago. It was, indeed, a lot of walking.
-Crow’s prediction that the Chicago White Sox would be “a force in the American League West for years to come” was not to be. They moved to the newly-formed AL Central in 1994 and struggled through the rest of the 90’s. They did win their last AL West title in 1993.
-Joel’s spiel about train stations in Segment 4 is a reference to the Babylon Branch of the Long Island Railway. The order of stations he lists indicates the rider is going east towards Montauk. However the change wouldn’t be at Jamaica (the beginning of the line), it would be at Babylon. This is one of those bits that easily recognizable as being one of Frank’s and pops up throughout seasons 2-6.
-Tom’s mustache in Segment 5 is made of tin foil.
-Tom is correct, Merritt Stone was not the conductor. He wasn’t even in the film. That was Gene Roth. Its easy to say that now. But you have to consider this was pre-internet (or at least pre-useful internet) and film guides didn’t usually have pictures of B-movie actors to help you identify them from one another.
-Edward Platt’s Mr. Tucker wears gloves throughout the entire film. I don’t know why.
-Oddly enough, this is the 2nd film on MST3K starring Don Sullivan (“I sing whenever I sing…”). Its odd because his film career consisted of 7 films, all in 1958-1959, and then he basically disappeared. He apparently left showbiz to become one of the top chemists in the haircare industry. He died last month.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Joel: Simulated culture like Disneyland.
-Joel: Johnny’s negligent parents let him wander off.
-Tom: Then Johnny transmogrifies. Hes’ a shapeshifter and he breaks the fourth seal.
-Crow: Jiminy, thinks Johnny, if only I could get a ride in one of those.
-Joel: Johnny’s hydroplane disintegrates on impact.
-Crow: Looking very relaxed, Adolph Hitler on vibes.
-Joel: My Three Sons go beat.
-Crow: She just put her brain in.
-Crow: My husband’s very hip at home.
-King: I AM BUGGED! Joel: GOD OF FACIAL HAIR!
-Tom: Nobody said anything about a dome-liner!
-Joel: Phil, can I see you in my office? Crow: You blew it, Phil. Tom: I still like you.
-Crow: I’m gonna shoot the milk to impress Jodie Foster.
-Crow: Ah, the Blue Ridge Mountains of Chicago.
-Tom: So you gals are in a band? Joel: We’re Hart.
-Crow: The hydraulic wife!
-Joel: Its Officer Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.
Overall:
I love this episode. And if I’m being honest, I love the movie being featured. The film is so very stupid, but its also so well made. I didn’t catch on that the priest was Tucker on my first viewing. The way its shot, it just works. That might have to do with the director, Gene Fowler, Jr. and the cinematographer, Karl Strauss, who won Academy Awards for editing “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” and the cinematography of “Sunrise”, respectively. The pacing, at least the last half, if pretty on-point and sharp, and the cinematography is a step above most of the fare MST usually gets. For what it is, I really like the movie. And the riffing is like a comfy sweater wrapped over the movie. It fits, its unobtrusive, and its great.
But beyond that…the short is probably one of the top 3 in the entire series. Top-notch throughout, rapid-fire and hilariously dark.
The one and only possible negative I have for this episode is the sketches. They aren’t classics themselves. They’re good, ranging to great for Segment 5. But compared to the movie segments they’re…just not quite at 100%. But that’s a little nitpicky, and not enough for me not give this episode the highest possible score…
Score: A+
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jun 1, 2018 22:56:14 GMT -5
I think its time I find the courage and come out and admit…that it takes me a long time to finish these reviews.
Next episode!
420-The Human Duplicators
Movie:
Richard Kiel plays a giant, no surprise there. He plays a giant alien, again, no stretch for him. And this giant alien is terrorizing the world! How? By being a despondent middle manager, hating his job, and showing that he’s thoughtful and sensitive by falling in love with a blind girl.
Wait, what?
Yes, Richard Kiel, greatest character actor of his day (that character being big, evil, menacing guys), plays against type as the put-upon Kolos, manservant to the “Galaxy Beings”, monochromatic fellows who wouldn’t look out of place in a Beastie Boys music video. They send Kolos on a mission to Earth to make cheap, easily breakable android duplicates, so they can steal spare parts to make more androids, who will then…steal more spare parts, I guess. The stated goal is world domination, but its slow going.
Kolos shacks up with a crotchety old professor in the Los Angeles hills, who he promptly replaces with a rigid, unconvincing android double. Living with the professor is his blind niece, for some reason, and Kolos falls in love with her, keeping her an original.
Stumbling into this is a rigid, unconvincing G-man played by George Nader, who stumbles around the edges of the plot, gets caught and duplicated, escapes, and saves the day by pointing a spotlight at the androids from a safe distance while Richard Kiel does all the heavy lifting.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel takes suggestions from the bots for modifications. Segment 1: More Servo modifications. The Beanie-Chopper. The William Conrad Refrigerator Alert. Segment 2: Joel and the bots make their own spaceships like in the movie. Segment 3: Tom duplicates himself. Segment 4: Hugh Beaumont visits again. Segment 5: The bots come out…as robots. Letters. Cannon raids the fridge.
Things that I noticed:
-Per the slate card, this episode was filmed (or edited) on 11/18/92.
-At $93 billion in 1992, Tom Servo’s Tank Rambo would cost $164 billion today.
-The extended non-stop laughing of the Mads in Segment 1 worked as intended on me (making me laugh for an equally extended time) exactly once: the first time I saw it. Now I just smile and wait for it to be over. I know its funny, it just doesn’t strike me as it did the first time. Though I get the impression Frank thought it was as hilarious as he’s acting. It seems like the kind of thing he’d think of.
-Crow gives Joel one last, disappointed look before he leaves (I just thought…you’d go through the roof…) in Segment 1, a testament to how well Trace could articulate the Crow puppet.
-This is the episode my username comes from! And it only took a decade or more to get to this episode! The episode featuring my original username, TarlCabot, won’t be reviewed for another 4 years or so.
-Our “star” of this film, besides Richard Kiel, is George Nader. A closeted actor who seemed to be always be on the edge of real stardom but just sort of hung around the periphery most of his life, he and his long-time partner were close friends of Rock Hudson for decades, and inherited most of Hudson’s sizable estate after he died of AIDS in the 80’s. He had success in Germany in the 8-film crime-noir “Jerry Cotton” films of the 60’s. He was in 2 other early MST films, Robot Monster and The Million Eyes of Su Maru.
-The concept of making the spaceships in Segment 2 from items found around the house was known as “kitbashing”, and as Joel shows with his spaceship, is essentially how the bots were made.
-In Segment 3, per a picture in the ACEG, the extra Toms are actually just groups of 3 Tom heads with the rarely seen tubing “extension” attached beneath them (as seen in the Season 2-5 opening), connected on tri-forked PVC tubing, controlled by several people. A few of their mouths slowly open and close. Most haven’t had the in inside bottom of their domes painted and are still the same color as the original candy dispenser. You can see what looks like Jim Mallon’s head in front of the desk when the Toms get frightened by Joel.
-Crow’s line as Richard Kiel at the end of the film “I was in an airport, I was in a cab, here. That’s all I saw.” is a fairly obscure quote from George Harrison from the Beatles’ first American tour.
-Segment 5 is a thinly veiled satire of “coming out”. I didn’t get what they were going for until I was in my 20’s.
-That is, of course, Kevin Murphy’s ample frame portraying William Conrad, even doing his First Alert pointing pose while holding a piece of chicken in his mouth. Notice how he doesn’t actually take anything from the fridge, but was instead crouched down behind Frank, waiting to pop up.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Joel: George Nader, he’s untalented at any speed.
-Tom: They saved Liberace’s brain.
-Kolos: I am Kolos. Crow: And Diet Kolos.
-Joel: Fred Fintstone’s running somewhere.
-Crow (on Richard Kiel): I bet he doubles a a couch.
-Joel: ‘Scuse me, I’m gonna toss myself out the window…
-Tom: He just took a hit off his own hair.
-Joel: Oh, he had a Chia head.
-Hugh: Sarah, bring me some coffee, lots of it. And some aspirin. And some ibuprofen.
-Crow: Is that felt? Tom: It is now.
-Joel: I can sense he has a nice butt.
Overall:
A good episode. Not as good as maybe the last 2 episodes, but close. The host segments are all more amusing than funny (though the Mads’ Invention Exchange did make me break down laughing the first time I saw it), with the Hugh Beaumont visit being the highlight.
The film is goofy and varied enough to not get boring and provide ample riffing material. The rate of riffs starts strong, slows a bit towards the middle, but picks back up at the end. No riffs are real home runs, but its high quality, throughout.
I may be overly sentimental towards this episode, but…I don’t care.
Score: A-
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jun 2, 2018 12:03:31 GMT -5
Then suddenly, without explanation, there was no review. No thing to summarize this episode. Only the puzzled readers who don’t expect posts this often. Diet Kolos was found, alive and of normal size, procrastinating on his next review.
Next episode!
421-Moster A-Go Go w/Short-Circus on Ice
Short:
The Toronto skating club puts on a nightmarish little show centered around the circus. And like all circuses, it features hideous clowns, animal cruelty, murder and other icy horrors.
Movie:
Two incomplete, incomprehensible films smashed together. One of them directed by Wisconsin’s own Bill Rebane. Let’s see if we can make sense of things…
An astronaut, Frank Douglas, goes into space in a tiny capsule, which comes back empty. Or not. He might now be a moldy, bony, Carel Struycken-esque fellow going around killing people by giving them mildly different facial expressions. Its hard to tell.
A search party is put together with the military and some scientists and then…the film breaks and we’re taken to a different lab with different military people and the brother of a scientist from the first half of the movie. Its all vaguely connected in a David Lynch kind of way.
In any case, Frank is now apparently increasingly radioactive and is threatening to stumble through Chicago, irradiating everything in his path. Until he doesn’t. Or isn’t. Or wasn’t. The writers couldn’t figure out how to end the movie. So they don’t.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The bots walk Joel through the cheese-making process. Segment 1: Action figures. Segment 2: Gypsy doesn’t “get” Crow. Segment 3: Tom and Joel play keepaway from Crow. Segment 4: The Pina Colada song. Segment 5: Joel tries to cheer up the bots.
Things that I noticed:
-Per the slate card, this episode was filmed (or edited) on 12/04/92.
-The “whey” Gypsy drops in the cheese tank in the Prologue are foam packing peanuts.
-In Segment 1, Dr. F calls Joel “Bezoar”. A bezoar is a type of hard hairball, often produced by cats and other furry animals that lick themselves. In medieval times they were valuable commodities, used for their supposed magical healing properties.
-The Mads essentially invent DLC and microtransactions with their Johnny Longtorso doll.
-Speaking of, during the little song they sing, you can see Frank is very nearly about to crack up. That’s because he DID crack up several dozen times prior, as seen in the Poopie tape.
-Woodscrew tapeworm is just a piece of audio tape.
-Semi-obscure Simpsons reference: “Hey good lookin’, we’ll be back to pick you up later!” from the Season 3 episode “Radio Bart”.
-Segment 3 might be the first time Tom’s “hoverskirt” is mentioned.
-Joel’s line about going to The Billy Goat for a chee’burger makes sense if you’ve been to Chicago. The scene they’re watching takes place in one of Chicago’s underground “lower” streets, and The Billy Goat Tavern is located on Lower Michigan Avenue. While on vacation, exploring Chicago one night, I came across the Tavern on Lower Michigan and I wasn’t even looking for it. Very bizarre to come across businesses underground.
-This episode may very well have the largest breadth of cultural references in the entire series. And not just pop culture, culture on the whole. Riffs run the gamut from Robert Vesco, William Styron, Karl Lagerfeld, The Ramones, Ianesco and everything in between.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Joel: I’ll take a slo gin circus.
-Tom: Hey, Bella Abzug.
-Crow: Its sexist male fantasies on ice!
-Joel: She skates over her own intestines.
-Joel: Even my mom would be bored by this.
-Crow: …this is gonna suck.
-Tom: Douglas was pearshaped, very short and stood the whole way.
-Crow: This coffee’s warmer than Frank is.
-Crow: Is it that I often panic when making sandwiches?
-Tom: His face is gone!
-Crow: He made her bark!
-Joel: Barkeep, could you freshen my date.
-Anonymous character: Did you ever overdose an animal? Tom: I smoked too much rabbit once.
-Joel: Nightmare the clown, he’s coming to your town!
Overall:
Usually when the movie is really, really bad, the episode on the whole suffers (see: Castle of Fu Manchu). Monster A-Go Go is really, really bad. Exceptionally bad. It hardly has a plot. Half the movie is unrelated to the other half. You can’t understand the dialogue. Its one of the top 5 worst films they ever showed. However! The episode itself does not unduly suffer because of it. It in fact thrives.
Instead of fighting against the movie and losing (see: Castle of Fu Manchu), the Brains freed themselves in the host segments from the confines of the film and made some of the best segments ever. They do the same in the theater. They’re not commenting much at all on the plot or characters after a certain point, just calling out riffs. Riffs that work. And what should be a rough slog of an episode feels light and breezy.
Riffing starts strong, and very dark, in the short. They riff away at the film at a very good clip until about the midway point when the “other” film takes over, which doesn’t give them as much to work with until the end. But this lull doesn’t last long.
And, as already said, ALL the host segments are winners. Tom and Crow’s diatribe about visiting your aunt’s house in Segment 5 is infinitely quotable. Johnny Longtorso is a great invention. The Pina Colada discussion is almost over-written, but logical and funny.
A GREAT episode overall, probably in my Top 15.
Score: A+
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jun 4, 2018 21:13:30 GMT -5
More! More! I’m a bad reviewer!
Next episode!
422-The Day the Earth Froze w/Short: Here Comes The Circus
Short:
Much like the dizzying circus short from the preceding episode, only NOT on ice. Instead, this circus inhabits its natural environs: a hopefully flame retardant tent with a filthy floor where drunk carnies abound. Plus, the animal cruelty is real this time. And the terrifying clowns are now real, equally terrifying (and oddly sexual) clowns. Thankfully no murders take place (that we know of).
Movie:
An amalgamation of the Finnish national fairy tale, Kalevala. Yes, Finland has a national fairy tale. Let’s see if I can spell these name…The Maiden Anniki falls in love with Lemminkainen. Anniki is abducted by the wicked witch of Pohjola, Louhi. Lemminkainen and Anniki’s brother, Ilmarinen travel to Pohjola to save Anniki. Still with me?
Central to all this is the Sampo, a magical mill of some sort that can make gold and salt and, I dunno, Bitcoin, I guess? Its really important. The witch blackmails Ilmarinen into making it. And everyone’s sad.
Ok, that’s only the first 30 minutes of the movie. From there it goes off in several weird directions like a Scandinavian fever dream. Not a whole lot of it makes a lick of sense, but it sure is pretty to look at.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel and the bots pose for a family photo. Segment 1: Unhappy meals. Snaction. Segment 2: Tom and Crow come up with circus clown sketch ideas. Segment 3: What’s a Sampo? Segment 4: Gypsy’s one-woman show, Gypsy Rose Me. Segment 5: Tom and Crow are the winds. Letters. Dr. F cuts Frank loose.
Things that I noticed:
-Per the slate card, this episode was filmed (or edited) on 12/17/92.
-According to Project RIFF, this episode has the HIGHEST riffs per minute of ANY episode. It didn’t count Season 11, but…well, I won’t get off on a tangent. Anyways, this episode clocks in at a whopping 11.57 riffs per minute, for a total of 862 riffs. The only other episodes to come close are 210-King Dinosaur and 501-Warrior of the Lost World.
-The backdrop in the Prologue is just the SOL doors.
-Contrary to what Dr. F says when introducing the film, the movie is not Swedish, its Russo-Finnish.
-During the beginning, there’s a large amount of narration that sets up the story, which they promptly talk over. If they hadn’t they would’ve found out what a Sampo is. This was probably on purpose.
-In Segment 2, Tom and Crow call Joel a series of names, both of which were names of TV secretaries. Peggy (Fair, from Mannix) and Della (Street, from Perry Mason).
-Crow starts humming “The Cabin Boy”, a verse of a few filthy little sea shanties. It has several versions, all very dirty, but well worth a quick Googling.
-In Segment 3, the joke about writing what a Sampo is on a piece of paper, then throwing it away, is an obvious wink at their earlier contests, particularly the “What’s the Cool Thing?” contest in Season 2.
-In Segment 4, note Gypsy “sitting” on the stool behind her.
-Also in Segment 4, they made up a very clever way of having Gypsy do multiple costume changes.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Crow: Heeere comes the Devil!
-Joel: Aren’t the horses supposed to go behind the band?
-Crow: More, more! I’m a bad clown!
-Tom: I squeeze you til you hemorrhage!
-Crow: This routine starts out normal, you and me beatin’ the crap out of each other. Then I snap! I run into the audience on a homicidal rampage!
-Joel: Sampo means flavor!
-Crow: Its not a fit night out for man nor beast!
-Tom’s entire Prairie Home Companion bit.
-Tom: I’m a lilac in the Spring. Agh!!!
Overall:
A good, busy episode. And I do mean busy. As noted earlier, this episode is CRAMMED with riffs. They talk a lot. There’s a whole bunch of empty space to talk over, and even then they liberally talk over narration and dialogue. And why not? It all works. Quite well. But while the riffing is thick consistent, there weren’t very many laugh out loud moments, outside of the short, which is gold from beginning to end.
The host segments are all great. Classics in their own right. They’ve taken advantage of the freedom Monster A-Go Go afforded them and made a segment unrelated to the film, Gypsy’s show, and its a perfect sketch. The rest are all great, too. The only slump in the bunch is the Snaction half of the Invention Exchange, as its a bit lame.
This is a hard episode to grade. Harder than you’d think. It reminds me a bit of 319, where the short outshines the movie, but maybe no so severely. Its nearly a perfect episode. Nearly. But I don’t find myself coming back to it like some others, and the riffing is good-to-great, but mostly good. Its a Top 20 episode, but not in my Top 10, if that makes sense. But its close.
Score: A
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Post by Diet Kolos on Jun 10, 2018 21:36:59 GMT -5
I will make my own review a’piffle!
Next episode!
423-Bride of the Monster w/Short: Hired! Part 1
Short:
A puffy, bitter, middle-aged car lot manager laments to his elderly, half-crazed father on his porch about how all his salesmen suck.
Movie:
Our old friend Bela Lugosi is back. And just like when we saw Lon Chaney, Jr., he’s suffering from a crippling addiction, is on the verge of death, and is in this film because he’s broke! Of course, with Lugosi it was opiates and not booze, so he’s not as obviously tanked up as Lon was.
Anywho, he’s a mad scientist living in the only swamp in the middle of Los Angeles. He’s got a nutty scheme to make a race of supermen (rice a’piffle). Standard mad scientist stuff. He’s got a giant, lumbering assistant, Lobo; played by the giant, lumbering Tor Johnson.
A wooden, rubber-faced detective and his reporter fiance get tangled up in Bela’s shenanigans. Bela’s house eventually goes up in a very limited nuclear explosion and B-movie staple Harvey B. Dunn delivers the vaguest of anti-nuclear power sentiments ever recorded.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel and Tom watch Crow’s dreams Segment 1: The tough love seat. Microwave Faith Popcorn. Segment 2: Hired! The Musical. Segment 3: Monsters, seafood and various loafs. Segment 4: No advertising! With Willy the Waffle. Segment 5: Re-editing the film. Letters. Dr/ F and Frank play dress-up.
Things that I noticed:
-Per the slate card, this episode was filmed (or edited) on 1/06/1993.
-A few things in the Prologue. Crow’s bed is a re-use of the prop from episode 419. You can see Crow’s feet! Tom’s line about his outfit being “…weird” is an imitation of one of the earliest stinger moments from way back in episode 206.
-Frank is very nearly cracking towards the end of the tough love seat bit.
-Basing an invention around now long-forgotten trendsetter Faith Popcorn is so very hopelessly 90’s.
-Tim Burton’s Ed Wood, detailing the making of the movie featured here, was early in pre-production when this episode was filmed, and was set to start production in May 1993 when it went into turnaround at Columbia and was delayed. Its not too far-fetched to imagine the Brains got wind of the coming film (they certainly read enough Variety, based on all the copies used as props throughout the years) and decided to do the film before it became better known.
-Hired! is quite obviously artificially split in 2. They try their best to hide it, making the “To Be Continued” font look old, but it doesn’t hide it much. A bit of an odd choice, though. The first part of Hired! is a bit lame, nothing happens. The real meat is in part 2. Maybe they just ran out of shorts at the end of the season and had to improvise with what they had.
-In Segment 2, the “footlights” are actually functional! Or, at least, there are lights behind them being shown up at Joel and the bots, just like in a real play. Notice how bright Tom’s dome is and how reflective Crow and Gypsy are.
-Detective Dick’s partner is named Marty. Its said nearly every time he’s addressed. Joel and the bots pick up on it and run with it. One of the better running gags in the episode.
-Segment 4 is the first time that the episode naming format (season number, episode number, name of movie) is mentioned, making it canon, later to be codified in the ACEG.
-Crow’s waffle costume returns, along with his imitation of Coily. If “A Case of Spring Fever” was on their minds THIS much, to make not one, but two sketches out of if, its bizarre that they didn’t use the short until Season 10.
-In Segment 5, Joel is wearing a lab coat with the logo on it. The bots are wearing facsimiles. This is only notable because those lab coats were “office wear”, made specifically for the Brains sometime around Season 3. They can be seen in behind-the-scenes photos and videos from the time, usually worn by Jim, Kevin or Trace.
Favorite riffs or quotes:
-Joel: Isn’t that the John Belushi biography?
-Crow: So, time for booze.
-Crow: Gravity at work.
-All: Norm!
-Reporter: Oh, Dick! Tom: Oh, yes!
-Joel: Buck Henry meets Elmer Fudd.
-Joel: Wax beans! Fava beans!
-*Bela hangs his mouth open* Crow: (Charlie Callas noises)
-Joel: He’s got platform shoes! Sly Stone-style.
Overall:
You know, one would think that Ed Wood movies would be ripe for MST, given their reputation. They’re bad, and cheap and incompetent. But they’re also very talky. And they stay in the same place for long stretches of time, and all the goofy incompetent bits aren’t really on screen for very long. And this film, while big on reputation, just isn’t prime material for the show. They do their best. The writers are still at the peak of their game. But none of the riffing in this episode, outside of the occasional moment, really grabs me. The short is a complete waste. Totally unmemorable. The movie starts slow and only ramps up in the last half.
The Segments are a mixed bag. The Prologue is fun. The Inventions, specifically the Faith Popcorn bit, is lame. Hired the musical is cute. Segment 3 goes nowhere, has no point and ends abruptly. Segment 4 is one of those new-fangled “unrelated to the movie” skits that has no point or purpose, though seeing Crow do the Coily bit again is cute.
Now, that’s not to say its a BAD episode. Far from it. But compared to, say, the last 5 episodes, its an odd outlier. Its just…average. Probably a bit above average. Which is fine, it happens.
Score: B+
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