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Post by hobbesluigi82 on Mar 6, 2008 7:31:44 GMT -5
I think the title of the thread sums it up nicely. But, seriously, I thought it was time for me to get in the reviewing business. I seen every episode of our beloved show except for most of the KTMA season. But, instead, of doing the reviews in chronological order, I've decided to pick a group of 6 episodes, related in some way or another and review them. I'll be doing this as time permits, however, if things go smooth, you'll be getting a set, probably two in a week. So,let's begin with our first set, the short, but sweet Season 7: 701 - Night of the Blood Beast 702 - Brute Man 703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell 704 - Incredible Melting Man 705 - Escape 2000 706 - Laserblast 701 - [glow=red,5,300][shadow=red,left,300]Night of the Blood Beast[/shadow][/glow] with short: [glow=blue,5,300][shadow=blue,left,300]Once upon a Honeymoon[/shadow][/glow] Thoughts on short: Frankly, I have no idea what the hell this is supposed to be about. Every short featured on MST3K since the end of Season 2 (except the serials from Season 4) had some kind of informational subject. This one is supposed to be about telephones, but in a vague way, I guess. Instead it turns into some kind of weird muiscal. How weird you ask? Well, here's the low-down: a couple can't go on their honeymoon, because the husband, who works in the music business, has been called on short notice to come up with a melody. So Heaven sends a dorky angel with glasses to sprinkle some magic powder on them. Yep, it's that kind of weird. Thoughts on movie:Ah, the '50s sci-fi movies. Red scares, alien invaders, flying saucers, monsters big and small, all of these representative for that glorious age. I'm a big fan of these kind of movies, and I couldn't help noticing that this movie clearly resembles one of my favorite sci-fi movies, Thing from Another World. Just remove all of the enjoyability, bring in a plethora of boring scenes, get a stupid-looking monster costume (I admit, the monster from TFAW may not have been that great, but I'll take it over this one any day of the week), change a few minor details and you've got Night of the Blood Beast. A Corman film, though not directed by the Roger Corman, it still feels like one. However, it's still pretty tame and can provide a few laughs of its own (the Blood Beast costume, for example, where did they get that thing?). Note: Even though this movie resembles Thing from Another World, the idea of the astronaut's body being used as a breeding ground for the alien's offsprings sounds a lot like Alien. However, in Alien only one of those little buggers was inside the hosts, so it more likely resembles Aliens vs Predator: Requiem in which quite a few chestbursters could get inside you (if you wonder, yes, I am an Alien/Predator fan and, yes, that was a stupid idea). Thoughts on episode:This is the kind of episode I enjoy seeing on MST3K: a dopey '50s sci-fi/alien/monster movie coupled with a wacky and weird short. The riffing starts out great in the short, as gang tackle every goofy thing with pin-point accuracy, and keeps going strong through-out the movie. Both the short and the movie are assaulted by the gang's sexual innuendos and inspire some of the biggest laughs ever. Safe to say that this is one heck of an funny episode, and makes a great introductory episode to new fans: not too many obscure references and a lot of situation riffs. This one's a winner in my book. As for the host segments, I've only seen the Turkey Day host segments and they're pretty decent. However, they don't last too long and so, they're overshadowed by the hillarious short and feature. Though Jack Perkins hitting on Mr. B Natural was a gas. Great short, great feature, decent host segments... I think we all know the results. Favorite riff from short: "Wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which piles up first." - Mike Favorite riff from movie: "Well, we had to snap in two like a frozen dog to get him out of the space capsule, but..." - Crow Favorite host segment: Segment 2, "Stuffing vs. Poatoes" was pretty cute, though, really, what was the deal with Mike at the end? Grade: ***** out of ***** Great review. First episode I ever watched, and is still one of my favorites. The monster costume was re-used in 315 - Teenage Caveman as well, by the way, right at the end. And you're right - what DID upset Mike at the end of the Stuffing VS. Potataoes sketch? I never quite got that.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 6, 2008 7:52:31 GMT -5
Glad to see you liked it, hobbesluigi82. Night of the Blood Beast is, so far, the best episode I've reviewed. Great introduction episode for newbies.
Stick around for more reviews, Samson vs. the Vampire Women should be coming up soon.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 6, 2008 11:03:07 GMT -5
And to complete our 2nd set of reviews here we have: 624 - [glow=red,5,300][shadow=red,left,300]Samson vs. the Vampire Women[/shadow][/glow] Thoughts on movie:I don't know anything about mexican horror movies, so I probably can't tell how successful or praised this genre is. I have to say by looking at this film that the minds behind it were very serious about it. And even I felt that way before the first ten minutes of the film were over. Never mind the badly dubbed characters (especially the contradicting professor who asks for help, but then doesn't want to say what's the matter) or the vampire thugs. When our title hero makes its big entrance (about halfway in the film), you can't help but laugh out loud when you see him in a wrestling outfit! God, that was one of the biggest 'WTH!' moments in this entire show. And, immediately, what promised to be an interesting horror feature, suddenly turns into a wrestling movie. I don't know about you, but that's a first for me. Wrestling vampires, now I've seen it all! Of course, the ending is really anti-climatic as the sun does pretty much does all of Samson's work (how hard it would have been for those lazy vampires to board their windows), and all Samson does is take all the credit... the dope. Though I have to say this, as far as MST3K movie characters go, Samson is probably my favorite. How can you not love a hero who not only comes in late in the film, but wrestles the evil minions of Satan and sets helpless women on fire. I ask you, how? Thoughts on episode:Back then when I was scouting Don's MST3K Review website for episodes, I never expected that a measly little experiment called 'Samson vs. the Vampire Women' assigned with 4 Crows could have such an impact on my MST3K geekiness. Of course, at the time I only knew Frank made his departure here, but nothing interesting about the movie. So I popped it in one night, and ... BINGO, I found comedy gold. True, the riffing at the beginning isn't as strong as you would expect of a top-notch episode, but as soon as the movie stops being serious, our gang's riffing skyrockets up-wards. From cracks at the professor's stupid theories to stabs at the vampires' basic routines, then, when Samson comes in the movie and Crow immediately cracks up, I knew that the best part wasn't even here. And I was right, as a Strauss party, a wrestling match and the final showdown at the abandoned castle become the highlights of the episode. Words cannot begin to describe how much I love the wrestling scene. If you haven't seen this one, you haven't experienced the MST3K brilliance yet. The host segments deal with TV's Frank departure from the show, and, while they aren't as funny as other host segments, they are very well done. Also Torgo makes his last guest appearance as Torgo the White, the angel who leads Frank into the second banana Heaven. Then Forrester gets to sing a heart-breaking (in a real sick way) goodbye song to his former assistant: "Who shall I kill?" (truth be told, that really brought a tear to my eye ). And in the end, M&tB read goodbye letters to Frank, as he visits Forrester to dispense advice to all those working for an abusive boss ("Don't despair, never let him crush your spirit, even if he's already crushed your skull.") and to push the button for one last time. Send-offs don't get any better than this. Better than Black Scorpion, Laserblast, Diabolik or even Mitchell, Frank's last episode sends him on his way with a really goofy movie in toll and a hearty 'yauke-aieeee'. Goodbye Frank, and wherever you'll be ... Dr.F will always be killing you. Favorite riff from movie: "The International Fight-like-a-girl Championship." - Crow Favorite host segment: Segment 4, "Who shall I kill?" is a instant classic. Grade: ***** out of ***** Final grade on set: ***** out of ***** Best set so far. Truly a great compilation of the crew's best work. Now for the next set, I have in mind something along the likes of ... Deep Hurting, maybe. We've seen how goofy movies would fare on the show, now let's try something no average movie goer would ever see. Next set: 513 - Brain that wouldn't Die 606 - The Creeping Terror 609 - The Skydivers 612 - Starfighters 619 - Red Zone Cuba 621 - The Beast of Yucca Flats Don't go away, we'll be right back.
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Post by quinnmartin on Mar 6, 2008 13:42:43 GMT -5
King...I'm digging reading your reviews. Keep them coming.
But I would say it would be nice to see a little more variety in your opinion/ratings, rather than just 4 or 5 stars for each episode. But probably you picked some of your favorites to start with, so I can see where that would happen.
And I completely agree with you on the greatness of the second set of episodes you reviewed. All those episodes are some of my favorites.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 6, 2008 14:13:41 GMT -5
513 - [glow=brown,5,300][shadow=brown,left,300]The Brain that Wouldn't Die[/shadow][/glow] Thoughts on movie:A doctor who experiments on dead bodies, loses his fiancee in a car crash (mostly because of his own stupidity) and, instead of doing the sensible thing and calling an ambulance, he takes her disembodied head, attaches it to a machinery to keep it alive, and then goes on a hunt for a new body. That's pretty much the premise of our movie. At first sight this would seem just another stupid horror film with a goofy premise. So I thought too, but I was later proved wrong. This movie is really unappealing to look at, it's sick, sleazy, depressing, gory and, simply just, disgusting. Some of the time we're forced to watch the sleazy doctor trying to pick stripper dancers or models so he can lop their head off. The guy was a real jerk and stupid to boot (what made him think that once he attached her girlfriend's head to the body, she'll still be with him). Boy, did I want to see him bite the dust and, luckily, my wish came through (again, his stupidity played a part in that as well). Still the rest of the movie is somewhat easier to swallow as it is being spent in the doctor's lab, where the doctor's assistant and the girlfriend's head (who befriended some kind of failed experiment locked in the closet) keep bickering. But, man, this movie was gory in the end. Hell, by today's standards it'd be pretty mild, but I don't think a guy getting his arm pulled out of his socket and then stagger around with blood coming out was a common movie experience back then. Just don't say I didn't warn you. Note: Besides, what can you expect from a movie that forgets its title before the end credits roll? Thoughts on episode:Despite the nature of the movie, Mike's first foray into movie riffing does quite well. Right from the start, the guys throw jokes at a surgery and provide some great laughs. The riffing keeps steady through-out the entire movie, highlights being the laboratory scenes where the guys add a little spice to the assistant/Jan in Pan arguments. A thing I noticed in this episode: through-out the theater segments Mike has a really soft, quiet voice, that, compared to Servo and Crow in full Season 5, seems mild and restrained. Fortunately, he'll be in the groove by the season's end. The host segments do a good job of introducing Mike and immediately they set him apart from Joel. While Joel was like a parent to the bots, Mike is more like an older brother that the bots tease from time to time. The invention exchange is really good, Dr. F's invention, even if doesn't make much sense, is evil and Mike's first invention is really clever. The escape attempt segment ends in a big laugh. Having Mike and the bots design hats for Jan in the Pan is funny, with Gypsy delivering a great ending line. The following segment establishes Mike's persona and we find out some embarrassing facts about him. It ends with Jan in Pan paying a visit and Dr. Forrester getting a few ideas from the movie (guess who's going to suffer for that). A very good introduction episode for Mike, though I have to say, for a newbie, they really got him working from the start on really bad movies. Favorite riff from movie: "Ironically, he collapses into an armchair." - Mike Favorite host segment: Segment 5, Jan in a Pan's visit was great. Grade: **** out of *****
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 6, 2008 14:23:43 GMT -5
King...I'm digging reading your reviews. Keep them coming. But I would say it would be nice to see a little more variety in your opinion/ratings, rather than just 4 or 5 stars for each episode. But probably you picked some of your favorites to start with, so I can see where that would happen. And I completely agree with you on the greatness of the second set of episodes you reviewed. All those episodes are some of my favorites. Thanks, quinnmartin. Yeah, I realized too that with just 4-5 ratings it can get pretty dull. Don't worry, there are few sets coming up that differ a little more in quality. And, as always, there are a few that changed their ratings from the last time I saw them. Santa Claus, for example, was 5 stars. Now, when I rewatched it, it dropped 1/2 star off. Some episodes get better with age, some don't.
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Post by quinnmartin on Mar 6, 2008 14:34:48 GMT -5
King...I'm digging reading your reviews. Keep them coming. But I would say it would be nice to see a little more variety in your opinion/ratings, rather than just 4 or 5 stars for each episode. But probably you picked some of your favorites to start with, so I can see where that would happen. And I completely agree with you on the greatness of the second set of episodes you reviewed. All those episodes are some of my favorites. Thanks, quinnmartin. Yeah, I realized too that with just 4-5 ratings it can get pretty dull. Don't worry, there are few sets coming up that differ a little more in quality. And, as always, there are a few that changed their ratings from the last time I saw them. Santa Claus, for example, was 5 stars. Now, when I rewatched it, it dropped 1/2 star off. Some episodes get better with age, some don't. I agree with you on Santa Claus. I've never laughed harder on a first viewing than with that episode, but some of the funniest parts (like the "children from all over the world" concert) get stale pretty quickly. I still put it in my top 10 because of how funny it was the first time I saw it, but I'm probably less likely to pull it out for a rewatch than most of my other favorite episodes.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 6, 2008 16:43:18 GMT -5
606 - [glow=beige,5,300][shadow=beige,left,300]Creeping Terror[/shadow][/glow]
Thoughts on movie:
I think every monster movie that gives you an early good look at the crappy-looking monster is practically spelling "Get your refund while you can.". And this is no exception.
First of all, I understand this movie was made around 1963. Couldn't tell, this whole movie looks like it was filmed with 1920s equipment. I'm not even gonna mention the dubbing (you could tell they even bother to match it when people are talking). The narrator just kept talking and talking and talking and he wouldn't shut up. And even if he did shut up, that annoying music was playing in the background.
Too much for you already? I haven't even gotten to the monster. It's not so bad that it looks like a shag carpet and moves slower than a turtle, but having the victims just sit there looking scared so the monster could get into position to eat them (they even had to crawl inside the monster, for crying out loud!) was too stupid for me to even give a damn anymore.
If you haven't built up your bad movie immunity, by any means do go near any uncut version of the this movie.
Thoughts on episode:
Thankfully, the guys bring some good riffing to the table and it definitely eases down the painful experience. Even so, it's still hard to work with a big pile of dubbed nothingness, like this movie. Nevertheless, the riffing I've enjoyed the most was on the monster itself. Whenever that thing was on the screen, the guys were at their best. That and that embarrassingly bad dancing. Did people actually danced like that back in the '60s? I highly doubt it, some things are stupid no matter what time period you're in.
The host segments, on the other hand, aren't as good as some of the riffing. The intro was cute with Servo as a guard, but not really going anywhere. The pretentious coffee house segment didn't raise much laughs either. Though laundry day in Deep 13 did get a few chuckles. Crow raising the flag of the SOL was mildly amusing, however, as to the next one, I never saw 'Love American Style' so I can't comment on this one. The stereo system segment was just an excuse to play that crappy music from the film all over again and nothing more. The ending segment is a bit better as Crow and Servo crawl inside Gypsy and Frank gets punished for messing up the laundry.
Overall, this episode is good enough in some points for me to give it a decent grade. Worth a look to find out if it's up your alley.
Favorite riff from movie: "If my deepest, darkest despair would have choreography, this would be it." - Servo Favorite host segment: None of them are that good, but I guess I'll go with Servo as a security guard.
Grade: ***1/2 out of *****
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Post by Diet Kolos on Mar 6, 2008 20:18:04 GMT -5
So are you only reviewing movies you like, or are you just an easy reviewer?
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 7, 2008 5:44:31 GMT -5
So are you only reviewing movies you like, or are you just an easy reviewer? quinnmartin already noticed this and I agree, I need to change my set arrangement. Most of the best episodes are at the beginning, and so the rest remain at the end. So, after I'm through with this set, I'm going to pickup 2 sets of episodes, still from Season 5&6, that differ a lot more in quality than ones I reviewed so far. Don't worry, Diet Kolos, I'm not THAT gracious with episode grades.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 7, 2008 12:35:45 GMT -5
I've decided today to check-out 'The Creeping Terror' again (originally I wrote the review on what I remembered and put in my old grade). I found out that the episode wasn't that good for ****1/2 stars, so I had to modify the review. It's up wards a bit, if you're wondering.
Initially, I've planned to make the reviews only on memory and only watch those I haven't seen in a long time. Of course, in the case some episodes that I pop in occasionally like Deathstalker or Samson, I'm certain 100% about my grade. Unfortunately, as in this case, sometimes I may overrate or underrate an episode.
So no.1 rule on reviewing from now on, watch the episode before reviewing.
Stay tuned, Skydivers is playing now and a review will be coming. I'm so excited that I get to do another episode with a short.
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Post by Diet Kolos on Mar 7, 2008 14:41:18 GMT -5
So no.1 rule on reviewing from now on, watch the episode before reviewing. I'd say that's a good rule of thumb.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 7, 2008 14:58:50 GMT -5
609 - [glow=brown,5,300][shadow=brown,left,300]The Skydivers[/shadow][/glow] with short: [glow=navy,5,300][shadow=navy,left,300]Why Study Industrial Arts?[/shadow][/glow]
Thoughts on short:
Just another one of those '50s informational shorts, this covering the importance of industrial arts on your life and future career. Yeah, like I care!
Thoughts on movie:
What a bleak and hopeless movie this is! The last of Coleman Francis' trilogy, but it's no better than his other two. Suffice to say the movie lives up to its title, since there's a lot of boring skydiving footage of guys flapping their cheeks in the wind. There's also some sub-plot about ... acid ... and two guys fighting ... and a party ... and in the end everyone dies and nobody in audience cares.
Coleman Francis was a really bad director and it certainly shows in this flick. An excruciating experience indeed!
Note: The dope even makes two cameos in the movie: a guy who doesn't know what riding piggy back is and, at the end, the guy who shoots the bad guys from a helicopter.
Thoughts on episode:
The short is easily one of the crew's best work. Seems they were in a goofy mood for this one. Right from the start where they twist the student's thoughts into erotic obsessions. I had a blast with this one.
The movie isn't on the level on the short, but it manages to get a few clever stabs at the movie's incompetence. Anthony Cardoza especially gets a couple of good shots, man, was he a crappy actor. Also I don't know where the hell Coleman got his extras, but the gang's riffs hit home plate when these guys are on screen. Though the Petey plane gags get stale after a while.
The host segments are average and garners few laughs. The planetarium intro may be just a stupid joke, but I really howled at that one. The swing choir segment never gets off the ground for me. The segment on industrial arts gets a few chuckles. Crow getting stuck in a jockstrap really makes no sense. Servo blowing up Crow's car isn't better either. But the ending with Crow and Servo's parachutes getting tangled and Dr.F and Frank playing dodge ball is a little better.
A good episode that's worth checking out, if can look past the movie.
Favorite riff from short: "I can't get this thing in my pants, Earl." - Crow Favorite riff from movie: "Someone with attention deficit disorder edited this film." - Crow Favorite host segment: The Intro is the best of the bunch.
Grade: **** out of *****
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Post by quinnmartin on Mar 7, 2008 16:35:37 GMT -5
First of all, I understand this movie was made around 1963. Couldn't tell, this whole movie looks like it was filmed with 1920s equipment. I'm not even gonna mention the dubbing (you could tell they even bother to match it when people are talking). The narrator just kept talking and talking and talking and he wouldn't shut up. And even if he did shut up, that annoying music was playing in the background. I believe the reason for all the narration is that when they got to post-production, much of the dialogue was either unusable becuase of the poor filmaking, or a large section of the soundtrack was lost. I've read both, but apparently a local radio DJ was hired to narrate the film in post to cover up the fact that there was very little dialogue.
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Post by mst3krom on Mar 8, 2008 0:56:56 GMT -5
I've heard that too. Here's what I found at MightyJack's review site:
"In a classic Homer Simpson's moment... Legend has it that the original sound track was lost when director Art J. Nelson tripped over something at Chambers Beach, causing him to spill the sound equipment into its icy depths. D-OH! Low on cash, Nelson re-recorded the story as narration. With angry investors threatening lawsuits (They were promised a big budget production). Art (who played Martin Gordon under the name, Vic Savage) took off on a promotional tour with his girlfriend Shannon O'Neil (who played his wife Brett in the flick) and never looked back. He hasn't been seen since."
Don't know if that's true or not, but by the way this movie turned out, it might have happened.
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