Starcrash! Riffed by Garrett Gilchrist Aug 3, 2009 3:07:40 GMT -5
Post by tygerbug on Aug 3, 2009 3:07:40 GMT -5
My cover for the film. Big version:
Free on Youtube, and available as an Iriff at Rifftrax.com. This film may also be available on a pirate torrent site somewhere.
Starcrash! An amazing film from 1978 starring the lovely Caroline Munro and her minimalist wardrobe of leather space bikinis.
David Hasselhoff's got eye makeup and a lightsaber, and Christopher Plummer IS the confused, golden-caped Emperor of the Entire Universe.
An Italian Star Wars ripoff of the most blatant and inept kind, filmed in English, from a French DVD.
Here's a sample!
A compilation of some favorite bits from the commentary.
Get it as an iRiff here!
See sexy space smuggler Stella Star do battle with amazon women for no reason! See stop-motion special effects that look like they were done by Ray Harryhausen's blind retarded brother! With a score by four time Academy Award winner John Barry (James Bond films), who clearly needed the money.
Caroline Munro is probably the only real reason to watch this film, but it is an incredibly hilarious movie, the perfect late-70s Star Wars ripoff to watch while drunk.
But Garrett Gilchrist, you say, despite the obvious brilliance of this science fantasy classic, isn't this movie impossible to find on DVD in the US, and thus difficult to release as an iRiff?
Fear not! I've also placed my commentary for the film on Youtube, for watching for free!
And I'm EXTREMELY sure you can find the film at some popular pirate torrenting site, not that we'd ever condone that.
"Funny, funny, funny. Red neck Darth Vader jokes had us cracking up everytime. As well as the random super powers Mr. Perm came up with to suit the situation. Great job for going solo. Get along Star Wars Doggies!" - Hor-RIFF-ic Productions
"Finally got around to watching this rare '70's style Hoff in action' last night!
WOW!! Just ... WOW! Cheesy cheesy cheesy - Very funny riff for such a bad movie! Highly recommend! Great work on the riffing! I thoroughly enjoyed it! (applauds)" - Richard Van Remmen II
But Garrett Gilchrist, you say, if I can watch your commentary for free, why should I purchase the iRiff?
Because, dear viewer, if you do, you will become the Emperor of the Entire Universe, and gain the magical powers to HALT THE FLOW OF TIME! Just like Christopher Plummer in this film!
Also, if you do buy the iRiff I get a dollar and Mike Nelson gets a dollar and isn't that nice to support what we're doing here?
Starcrash was released on VHS in the US by Roger Corman [it was a big hit for him in theaters in 79, due to the public wanting more Star Warsy type schlock], but Corman actually cut out some of the more wonderfully awkward moments. I've based my riff on the French version, "Le Choc Des Etoiles," which is uncut, and available in a 2-DVD set featuring a making of documentary and "Starcrash 2," an even worse movie featuring none of this movie's cast and all of this movie's effects.
Frankly I think the movie is funny enough without commentary, but I hope I provide a few chuckles along the way.
The creepy Marjoe Gortner plays Akton, who with his blonde perm and man-makeup looks like a hellish clone of Mork from Ork, or the Greatest American Hero. He apparently has all sorts of special powers which are never explained.
There's also a green guy called Thor who no one likes, a cowboy robot who could be Darth Vader's redneck cousin, the hilariously evil Count Zarth Arn and his stop-motion robots who look sort of like Tinkertoy renditions of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
David Hasselhoff, playing Prince Simon, doesn't show up til toward the end, but the Baywatch / Knight Rider star doesn't disappoint, first wearing a goofy gold mask, then showing his skills with a lightsaber (!) .... Like most of the men in this film, he also wears an incredible amount of eye makeup.
There are also some stupid cavemen. I preferred the Amazon Girls myself.
Oh, and an embarrassed, confused-looking Christopher Plummer, as the golden-caped Emperor of the Entire Universe, has the ability to stop time! Apparently. His performance is wonderfully vague.
Will the babelicious Stella Star and redneck robot Elle defeat whatever they're supposed to be defeating? Who knows? Who cares? At least she dresses in a Vampirella - like leather space bikini for most of the film.
I am aware that this film has already been "riffed" by fans before .... Mystery Fandom Theater (MFT3K) did a version, and there's another one on Youtube [Starcrash Media Center Theater]. I haven't seen these versions. I had chosen this film to mock before knowing that anyone else had tackled it. Of course it didn't stop me - a film like Starcrash cannot be stopped.
Directed by Luigi Cozzi. With Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer, David Hasselhoff.
Commentary by Garrett Gilchrist.
A fan page for the film, full of artwork and goodness.