Why Facebook / MySpace / Etc.?

[Mod City]

You know, the friends I had in high school and college that were worth keeping I kept by keeping in contact with them. There was a reason I didn't remain good buddies with everyone in my high school class.

Getting on Facebook draws out a whole bunch of people that perhaps knew you a long time ago, but I'm guessing there's a reason you weren't already talking to each other on a regular basis. That, and the minutia is incredibly annoying. My friend tried to get me on Facebook by showing me his, and my god, the worthless comments that pass for interesting personal information on that site. Honestly, I don't care what your commute to work was like today! God, get over yourself.

Now, whether it might be useful for your dad is another question. Facebook is widely popular for a reason. He might find a far better use for it than I did.

[solgroupie]

for the most part, i agree with mod city. my sister is on facebook and has tried to get me to join, but i have no desire to do so. yes, she did make contact with a lot of people she used to be friends with in high school. but she also gets a TON of emails every day from them, filled with the same useless info - "hey! work sux! lol!" or worst, those annoying fwds of stupid jokes or chain letters, or the ones i really hate "it's national friend week!" - with animated angels and cute kitties - type emails.

i can see it's value in some things, like the captain said - it would be a handy place to post pictures for friends and family. but i have no desire to find most of the people i went to high school with. i keep in touch with the ones i wanted without things like facebook or myspace.

i did (do) have an account on the mst social network, which was fun for a while. i don't know what happened, but it's been dead there for months.

[Crowfan]

I use Facebook only. I have a Myspace page, but I don't like the way that everyone can see your information, even if you aren't friends with them. I've found a lot of my old high school and college friends on Facebook, and have connected with Civil War reenactors in other states as well. So for me, it's worth it.

[Cerrita]

A fellow MSTie reccomended I get on Facebook. I don't do much with it, other than play a couple of games. No big facet of my life.

[Crowfan]

Mafia Wars and Farmville are great!!!

[malbouche]

When facebook first started, it was just for college students. You could post your class list and see what other users were in classes with you, I think it was meant as an online yearbook of sorts, to keep in touch, post media, and goofy wall comments. Now its available to everyone, is equipped with instant messaging, status updates, suggestions, oy! the list goes on. Eventually something (like Twitter) will replace facebook (just as facebook replaced myspace) and only the crowd who is not "hip" or "with it" will be using facebook. Enter parents, grandmothers, your boss joining facebook and seeing things you NEVER wanted them to see, like that drunken night in a dorm your freshman year. Oh, and anything you post (pictures, comments, WHATEVER) will remain on the Web, even if you delete it...there will be a copy recorded for all times lurking somewhere in the elaborate network that is facebook.

One such post that will be forever on facebook:

Facebook is the end of humanity





There, I said it, now we have to live with it.

Today’s life-threatening terrorist force comes not from the Middle East, but from your very own computer screen. It’s called Facebook, and it’s going to ruin your life – if it hasn’t already.

facebook
The start of the end

I’ll explain how Facebook works in the most honest terms you’ll come across:

* You sign up for an account. You put in some bullpoopie quotes and little blurbs about yourself, like you were making a singles ad. You are in a way, because you’re about to whore yourself out to the lowest bidder.

* You include pictures of yourself. You only pick the “best” ones. You also include every single picture you’ve ever appeared in, just to show strangers how outgoing you are. Girls will show off their body and clothes, and guys will show off their cars and the girls who just made a profile. They know you. They went to school with you. They own the right to be in the same picture as you, because they are popular.

* You include every aspect of your personal and professional life on the profile. Your schools, where you work, your relatives, address, phone number – anything you would be terrified of if someone got a hold of. Don’t be afraid though, this is the Internet! No bad people on the Internet to abuse the system, ever.

* You start looking up your friends. You know, those people who sometimes call your name if you’re in viewing range. Once you see their Facebook profile, you add their friends, because poopie – you’re FRIENDS too

* You look up the definition of the word ‘friend’ and realize you are so very flapjacksing wrong

* You start to join the ‘clubs’ or groups of people with similar interests. No need to look hard though, there’s a group for everything. You can even make your own. You are now “An employee of Dunder-Mifflin!” but what about the other 37 groups with the same name? Dunder-Mifflin must have a lot of branches, then. +1 to originality.

* You friend writes on your “wall.” They say something meaningful like “OMG I haven’t seen you in ages! We gotta hang out soon!” Weird, eh? Last time I checked I hung out with my friends all the time. In fact, we were having so much fun hanging out that we forgot to not see each other in ages.

* This little light bulb goes off in your head about every person you’ve ever met. Is my ex-boyfriend on Facebook? How about that boy that sexually assaulted me? All those dudes i hooked up with in college? How about my abusive uncle? Wow, they’re all here! I can’t wait for them to know my every waking moment thanks to my friends writing on my wall about every breath I take.

* You start adding everyone, ever. You try to complete your entire high school by clicking every flapjacksing piece of blue text imaginable. You feel so liberated when that bully that beat you up apologizes 9 years too late. It’s so easy to apologize over the Internet than it is to be a real person and do it in person with some heart and soul.

* You begin to electronically stalk your friends and people you hate. You can’t stop checking their profile on a daily basis. You start to feel nauseous when you’re waiting for their weekend pictures to be posted on Monday. You get butterflies when you start to see their innermost personal life displayed for all to see. You don’t notice you’re a victim too, since there’s no way to track who’s looking at yours.

* You can’t sleep at night until you check every profile ever. You start to get a slight buzz when you find out that your worst enemy hurt themselves while on vacation. You get chills down your spine when you hear the pity in their writing and you like it.

* You start to use Facebook wall writing as a substitute for email and phone conversation. You write very personal plans and thoughts to your ‘friends.’ Funny, if you wrote any of that stuff in an email and someone read it, you’d be mortified and feel violated. You equate wall writing to leaving “voicemail”. Since everyone else is addicted to Facebook, of course they’re going to see it in minutes.

* You don’t remember the last time you spoke to a friend on the phone. Why bother? Facebook is 24/7 free and no long distance. Voice? What’s that? You can hear their voice in their pictures of them holding their drinks. You can, can’t you…?

* You start using Facebook as a filtering service for your entire life. You start to judge people’s worth based on their profile. How many books they have read? What do they listen to? Is their life quote deep or just funny? Does it change every day? Oh my god, this person likes dogs too! Must be a great person…!

* You start to wonder who’s watching your profile. You make changes to your profile to appeal to everyone alive. You become a generic version of yourself. You’re afraid to express yourself because maybe…JUST maybe the love of your life will hate you because you don’t like dogs. You now love dogs. You love everything. Everything you hate is now “all right!” and everything you love is now “cool.” Spread yourself thin, because that’s the way to bring people closer to you.

* You notice that Cindy has 137 friends. You’re a few short of that number, so you start adding your cousin’s school friends. Seems logical, seeing as you’re both alive and on the same planet

* You run into someone you Facebook with in real life. They start to tell you about their life and events, but you already know everything. Who needs human contact and conversation anyway? Seems useless, you can barely listen to mp3s while talking at a bar. That Gwen Stefani’s not gonna listen to itself, you know. This person you barely know is now congratulating you on your new job. Seems totally appropriate, seeing as they don’t know what flapjacksing colour your eyes are, or, you know, anything else.

* You read something on some website that says that if you spent as much time on Wikipedia as you did on Facebook, you’d be one of the most knowledgeable people alive and actually contribute to society

* Your attraction to the opposite sex quadruples. Guys that have no balls or personal skills are now chatting you up on Facebook. They’ve seen you drunk in pictures and now they want to be beside you. You love the attention and check your profile every chance you get. You have just found the ultimate dating service – the kind that violates every privacy act and human rights issue known to man.

* You read somewhere that you should delete people you don’t talk to, but then the list would be 4 people long! The horror! There's no need to address your insecurities about your social life, really.

* You start to believe your own Facebook profile. You become more fake and more ‘fake outgoing.’ You change your little status message to alert everyone about your Cuba vacation and any every flapjacksing minutia imaginable. The best part is that since anyone can read this, thieves know what you’re up to and break into your house without incident. The insurance company laughs at you and calls you an idiot. I am not far behind.

* You die, finally. No one notices because you weren’t there to post that as your status message. The end.

I hope you’re beginning to see the light. This is your life, and it’s ending one click at a time. Facebook brings out the worst in people. You put so much time and energy into something that makes you a worse person. Do you WANT this? I’m surprised you’ve made it this far into the article without changing tabs to check if someone wrote on your wall…

I no longer have a Facebook account. Mine lasted all of 12 hours before I came to my flapjacksing senses. People kept adding me, writing messages, asking me computer questions, flirting…go away. I don’t know you, and I don’t want to. You didn’t talk to me years ago, you have no right to talk to me now. I will not make an account. Your pretty little ‘school collection’ will never be complete without me. You will not be my buddy, and I will not ask your girlfriend about her new job. You won’t see me there, period. I am a popular dude on the Internet, but my private life is just that. You will not know things about me, and that’s how I like it. Privacy is the ultimate freedom that we are granted in life, and you fools are giving it away.


You know you've made it in life when the band takes a picture of you.
What concert was I at? You'll never know, asshole, because you are not my friend

I want to be able to meet someone new and learn about them as nature intended. Ever occur to you that Facebook has a more complete and dynamic personnel tracking system than the CIA does? Works really well if you’re a total loser and have no social skills.

[(busdrivertohell)]

/thread

[Captain Hygiene]

Or, you know, you could not take it that seriously. There's more information in the phone book about most folks than there is about me on facebook. If you have any sort of internet presence with your work, your info's already out there. You don't have to add "friends" you don't want, or post photos of yourself, or even do anything on there you don't want to. It doesn't have to take over or replace your life, it can be something as simple as another way to post a few one-liners to make people laugh.
Facebook is exactly what you make it.

[solgroupie]

Dec 9, 2009 15:53:56 GMT -5 Captain Hygiene said:

Facebook is exactly what you make it.

ooh, i just found my new facebook quote!

[BoB3K]

There're both blocked where I work so I don't use either.

[Mighty Jack]

Dec 9, 2009 15:53:56 GMT -5 Captain Hygiene said:

Or, you know, you could not take it that seriously. There's more information in the phone book about most folks than there is about me on facebook. If you have any sort of internet presence with your work, your info's already out there. You don't have to add "friends" you don't want, or post photos of yourself, or even do anything on there you don't want to. It doesn't have to take over or replace your life, it can be something as simple as another way to post a few one-liners to make people laugh.
Facebook is exactly what you make it.

You sir, are wise beyond your years. When I grow up I want to be just like you.

I agree, neither FB or Myspace ever consumed my life. I might check FB here and there, Myspace I get on about once a month. I still see people face to face and talk on the phone to my family. So far, neither has twisted my arm or controlled my mind and made me do anything I didn't want to do.

But the reason I made my retunr to this thread... if you have Netflix, The IT Crowd, 3rd season has an ep called Facefriend that's pretty funny (granted it is 3rd series, so it might not have as much impact for those unfamiliar with the show. Still, the Facefriend stuff is a hoot)... the link It Crowd

Enjoy!

[Mirkwood Lodge]

"Friend Face works along the same principle as a cold or a terrible plague"! Man, I love The IT Crowd.

As for facebook, it's fine as long as you friend only people you want to talk to. Don't use the accursed applications though, they are life-eaters.

[Captain Hygiene]

Jan 31, 2010 16:33:47 GMT -5 Mirkwood Lodge said:

Don't use the accursed applications though, they are life-eaters.

But how else would I have found out that I'm a True Georgian despite having spent less than 3 days there in my life?

[mrcleveland]

I'm on both and I visit Facebook more than MySpace right now.

[winharrison]

I use neither, as I don't want to mess up my effective use of the Witness Protection Program.