When Relatives Move In

[Shep]

I'm in a somewhat difficult position. My mother-in-law died a little over a month ago and my father-in-law still hasn't gone home yet. He stayed with my wife and I for two weeks, stayed with my brother-in-law and family a couple weeks, and now is coming to stay with us again for God knows how long.

I don't mean to come across as heartless/insensitive/selfish (though I realize I can be all those things at times lol). In fact, I have no problem with him staying with us as we have an extra bedroom. The problem is he won't stay in the bedroom. He insists on staying in the lounge where the only cable tv is. So he camps out in the lounge, hogs the tv, and I have to put up with the endless shouting for cups of tv, not to mention the belching, raucous laughter, etc. He's very working class. (After a few days this does my f££king head in.)

It's a sensitive time obviously. I realize he's hurt/struggling. At some point, though you gotta get back on that horse/go home (or at least get out of my lounge! lol). My wife is frightened to say anything to him though she wants him to try to go back home, too. (And it's not like we wouldn't see him again. Guy lives 5 minutes away and would be coming over for dinner all the time, etc.)

Any advice, words of wisdom, etc? (If you think I'm being a jerk about the whole thing and just need to suck it up, that's okay, you can say that.)

Thanks,
Shep

[Crowfan]

Shep, I don't think you should suck it up but maybe you could have a little chat with him. It's possible he has no idea how he comes off. We all handle grief differently, and maybe he's just kind of scared to be alone. These last few years, my Mom has been having serious health issues, and I've pretty much been alone in the house. Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes it's really lonely and sucks big time. Just my two cents worth.

[inlovewithcrow]

"It's time for you to go home." That's not mean, it's just taking care of yourself and your own family. And consider moving 5 time zones away.

[Ratso]

Tell him to stop hiding and face reality...it sucks but it's something you have to do.

Either that or go stay in his house while he's in yours.

[Shep]

Thanks, guys. Your advice is much appreciated.

Something's definitely gotta give.

[Torgo]

Feb 21, 2011 15:16:45 GMT -5 Ratso said:

Tell him to stop hiding and face reality...it sucks but it's something you have to do.

Either that or go stay in his house while he's in yours.

LOL.

"Call me when your done."

::takes keys and runs::

[Skyroniter]

What a tough situation. Perhaps a well placed brick to the head is in order?

[Skyroniter]

Yours or his.

[Shep]

Feb 22, 2011 15:59:35 GMT -5 Skyroniter said:

What a tough situation. Perhaps a well placed brick to the head is in order?

LOL That's what the gin and tonic is for. The brick would definitely be cheaper though

I think it's gonna be okay. My wife had a long talk with him the other day. He understands how awkward it is having him in the lounge. He's doing a couple days at my brother-in-law's, but is planning on going home (his home lol) this week.

Thank God! I really didn't want to get divorced...AGAIN! LOL

[Skyroniter]

Damn. I had that brick all ready to mail.