That Could Have Been Better -- Rifftrax Edition

[TheNewMads]

I was rewatching "Maniac" this morning and I was struck by a moment that made me think I'd like to steal Mrs. Torgo's "Could Have Been Better" idea and start a thread for Rifftrax. and I'm thinking specifically of the moment in the beginning when Maniac #1 hands a revolver to Maniac #2 and suggests that Maniac #2 shoot himself through the heart so that Maniac #1 can give him a transplanted heart and make him live again. So Maniac #1 is all howling, "You'll live again!" and Bill, i think it is, sez, "I'm kinda doing that already." Then Maniac #2 kinda thinks about it for a minute and shoots Maniac #1. to which Mike, i think it is, sez, talking for Maniac #1, "Well, that was dumb."

i'm going to respectfully suggest that these two riffs go nowhere NEAR capturing the utter ridiculousness of this scene. So Maniac #1 randomly suggests that Maniac #2 take a gun and kill himself and then Maniac #1 might be able to bring him back to life with someone else's heart so as to end up getting back to the point he started off at? hey, Maniac #1, you wanna sweeten that pot a bit? What in God's name is in it for Maniac #2? You gonna at least buy him a sixer or something? and then Maniac #2 looks down at the gun in his hands and you can basically see in his face, well, how blindingly obvious could my next move possibly be? and when he shoots Maniac #1 he looks like, okay, I'm plainly going to shoot you. Um, am I missing something here? Am I on Candid Camera?

Huge missed opportunity there, I thought, with that unbelievably ludicrous scene. I actually get that "could have been better" feeling a bit more often with rifftrax than with mst3k, i think probably because they have fewer writers. hasn't stopped me from buying about a squillion rifftrax dvds, i totally love them.

anyway, has anyone else got a "could have been better" rifftrax moment they'd like to share?

[mrsphyllistorgo]

I DEMAND RISIDUALS!

Nah, I don't really, but am very flattered that you ran with my idea!

I'm quite behind on Rifftrax because I don't understand this downloading sorcery--I mean, I get what it does, but I suck at it. So I mostly stick with the DVDs. And I have to admit, some of the Night of the Living Dead really did kinda...sorta...well, drag a bit. I'll have to watch it again to select specific examples, though.

[TheNewMads]

residuals! i'll give you half of all the money i make with this thread!

actually, i was gonna let this thread die the death it's plainly intent on dying but someone just reminded me about "one got fat." a lot of commentary opportunities i think they missed because they got distracted with the grotesque monkey masks. one is the fact that all these monkey-children are dying one by one and the dwindling coterie of surviving children never seems to notice -- or, alternately, are inexplicably bent on continuing to ride their bikes regardless of the fact that it's plainly more dangerous than storming omaha beach. like, our freedom depends on the monkey-children continuing to ride their bikes regardless of the ever-growing, ever more tragic human cost. i think they make one joke about this, and it's pretty matter-of-fact (what's the term in Amazing Colossal Episode Guide for a joke that's just a description of what's happening on screen? it's like a national park joke, or something like that.) mike says, "does this kid not notice that all his friends are dying one by one?" and the answer is, no, he apparently does not. but come on, there was more joke potential there than that!

also, why are they not making inappropriate innuendos about cannibalism throughout? one thing i noticed from the MST3k days was it's impossible for a mistied movie to ever show a corpse on a slab, a patient on an operating table, a pulsating brain or the like without some riff about stroganoff or lasagna or "well, everybody dig in!" i always thought those jokes were a bit questionable but that just makes them funnier.

anyway, in "one got fat," the premise is that the one surviving kid (who, as i recall, is already pretty chunky) is carrying everyone else's lunch and as they die one by one he gets to eat their lunch. which, on the face of it is pretty callous already, but there's a rather perverse subtext there too. like, how did the brainstorming sessions for that short go? "let's make a safety film where there's this kid? and, like, all his friends systematically and methodically die and as they do, he gets systematically and methodically fatter? but, you know, NOT BECAUSE OF CANNIBALISM OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT." what even motivated them to come up with that particulary association? man, the more i think on it the more i'm like, that short is some pretty twisted stuff, man. which makes it more disappointing that they couldn't really get past the monkey masks. disappointing but understandable.

[Blue Raja]

Nah, don't talk like that - I think it's a fine idea for a thread! I'm just horrible at remembering specifics, so I felt like I wouldn't be adding enough to the conversation to justify posting in the first place.

But I'm gonna try anyway.

Even though Revenge Of The Sith is one of my all-time favorite Rifftrax(es), I still feel that they let loose some very forgettable riffs during one of the most unintentionally funny scenes in movie history - the glorious Darth Vader "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!" scene. So forgettable that, like I mentioned before, I can't seem to recall what was said. But I don't exactly remember them being very funny, sadly. (Thankfully, the joke beforehand about him revolving on the table facedown into a pie almost made up for it... ;D)

I almost feel like it would've been better if they had just let him do his "NO" bit, and then just laugh at the ridiculousness of it afterwards. When all else fails, have the same reaction the audience has, I say.

[gargonshepard]

Ok this is technically Film Crew but same guys so....

Hollywood After Dark when the dancer with the feathers covering her nipples first started doing her thang I couldn't wait to hear what they would say....Turned out the riff I thought of made me laugh more. Which was Ahhhww! Shes nursing two birdies. But overall I really like that installment.

I guess its easy to be a Monday morning QB.