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Post by afriendlychicken on Nov 20, 2011 20:24:12 GMT -5
This is a game of what ifs that Ijon and I have been doing. Take a famous person, any famous person, and imagine them working at a fast food restaurant making cheeseburgers. What kind of cheeseburgers would they make? In what thoughts and manner would they be made? Would they be any good? For example a couple of directors: James Cameron would paint his cheeseburgers in glossy, fluorescent, pastel and day-glo colors hoping no one would notice how bad his cheeseburgers tasted. Jean-Luc Godard would refuse to believe in cheeseburgers, then would force feed you a fruit cake. Coleman Francis: Would start a grease fire in the kitchen. (Ijon's) Go on, imagine...  |
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Post by caucasoididiot on Nov 20, 2011 20:38:22 GMT -5
Hmm . . . in a way, limiting it to directors gave more focus, but yeah, you've given it more scope.
Roger Corman: Would take your order from a beautiful, glossy menu then give you a frozen heat'n'serve.
Robert L. Lippert: Would cook up a decent cheeseburger sandwich and french-fried potatoes, but the waiter would never reach your table.
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Post by afriendlychicken on Nov 20, 2011 20:46:00 GMT -5
Tom Cruise: Would stand on the grill and yell at everyone to buy his cheeseburgers because they're good, and tasty, and L. Ron Hubbard gave him the recipe so you better eat it.
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Post by spackle on Nov 20, 2011 20:53:15 GMT -5
C'mon, you've got to post the Kubrick and Kurosawa ones. And Ijon, the Sono, Tsukamoto and Kitano ones. Oh, heck all of them!
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Post by afriendlychicken on Nov 20, 2011 21:01:39 GMT -5
Okay, for you Spackle. This is pretty much what started it all:
Spielberg: Would make cheeseburgers without the cheese. It may look like a cheeseburger, but somethings missing.
Kubrick: Would hand you a package in which he says has a cheeseburger in it, but when you tried to open the bag, it would be stapled, taped and glued with super glue so you're left wondering if he really put the cheeseburger in there. Then he would do an interview with Playboy stating it's all up to the eater to decide.
*Robert Altman: Can't decide if he wants one or many cheeseburgers, and will constantly change his mind about it and order chicken instead
Fellini: Would serve dancing fruit cakes and cheeseburgers.
Andrei Tarkovsky, Akira Kurosawa and Ingmar Bergman? Cheeseburgers that get existential and ask you not to eat them. Kurosawa's cheeseburger would actually fight back.
Hitchcock: Would give you a cheeseburger deluxe with fries and a hidden special sauce. The man was good!
*Robert Altman refused the job, but came in once to eat.
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Post by caucasoididiot on Nov 20, 2011 22:01:42 GMT -5
C'mon, you've got to post the Kubrick and Kurosawa ones. And Ijon, the Sono, Tsukamoto and Kitano ones. Oh, heck all of them! OK, but only you two are likely to get them. With that in mind, I'll try to polish. But if you hadn't pushed AFC on the Kubrick one, I would have. But where's yours, hmmm? Tsukamoto Shinya: Would serve you a cheeseburger that steamed and dripped a black substance that was either squid ink or used motor oil. It would bite back when you tried to eat it. If it defeated you, it would then destroy Tokyo. Sono Shion: Would serve you a very innocent chiizubaagaa and then mystify you by telling you it was a tangerine. You would then taste it and realize that it was a tofu-burger heavily laced with wasabi. If you asked for a second helping, he'd give you spaghetti with fermented soybeans. Kitano "Beat" Takeshi: Would serve you the cheeseburger on expensive china. Would then put a heavy calibre revolver to your head, cock it and say " Kue, bakayarou!*" with a chuckle. You would do so, and discover that it was a delicious but unique concoction, perhaps salmon with swiss perfected by an indescribably delicious sauce. *"Eat it, fickwad!" |
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Post by caucasoididiot on Nov 20, 2011 22:07:20 GMT -5
And long as we've opened up the field . . .
Cröefan: Would knock back the Heinies and wonder why no customers ever came to Planetburger*.
*A euphemism.
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Post by Phantom Engineer on Nov 20, 2011 22:12:53 GMT -5
Robin Williams would do twenty minutes of mindless improv and then serve you your cold cheeseburger, which would be mostly cheese.
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Post by caucasoididiot on Nov 20, 2011 22:55:04 GMT -5
Bill Rebane: Would serve you a cold, half-eaten cheeseburger and swear it was fresh.
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Post by jkazoolien on Nov 20, 2011 23:28:07 GMT -5
George Lucas: Every time you're about to bite into the cheeseburger, he suddenly says "I can make it better!" and takes it away from you.
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Post by caucasoididiot on Nov 20, 2011 23:32:46 GMT -5
^ That's almost exactly what my next one would have been. (^_^)
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Post by jkazoolien on Nov 20, 2011 23:49:13 GMT -5
John Hughes: The cheeseburger comes swinging in from the rafters and hits you in the face.
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Post by afriendlychicken on Nov 20, 2011 23:49:23 GMT -5
Ed Wood: Would make you a cheeseburger without the, bun, cheese, or burger. Instead, he'd try to sell you pantyhose with ketchup.
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Post by jkazoolien on Nov 20, 2011 23:52:12 GMT -5
Bobcat Goldthwait: It involves a clown, a dog, and a silk scarf. It's best to leave it at that.
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Post by afriendlychicken on Nov 20, 2011 23:59:37 GMT -5
Jonathan Winters: Would start to fry your cheeseburger as Maude Frickert, but by the time it's finished he'd have been a farmer, a baseball player, the wind and then a little kid who'll finally throw the cheeseburger at you and say "I'm sowwy."
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