|
|
Post by Mighty Jack on Feb 2, 2013 3:51:08 GMT -5
I know it's difficult and it would be easier to swallow were I just some fictional character, an illusion, a figment of your fevered imagination...
A seductive voice on the other end of the telephone... heard but never seen.
A bit of gas brought on by the meal you had at Taco Bell.
A thing to be thought of briefly in the dark cobwebbed resources of your mind... and then rejected as too absurd.
A bit of odious cheese wedged between your toes.
A lark, a spanking, a whisper heard in smoked filled pool halls.
A rumor shared between mop boys at the local porn shop.
A small bead of fear-bred perspiration that trickles down your spine.
A random act of folly, a tearful indiscretion, an incredulous lie...
but no. I am real, I really am a real human who actually said and did all those shameful things over the years.
I do not apologize, I only tell you to deal with it, as my parents, friends, spouses and friends have.
Thank, you. That is all.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mitchell on Feb 2, 2013 11:44:13 GMT -5
A seductive voice on the other end of the telephone... heard but never seen. Telly? A bit of gas brought on by the meal you had at Taco Bell. [/i] A thing to be thought of briefly in the dark cobwebbed resources of your mind... and then rejected as too absurd. As in "there's NO WAY in hell my car keys are in the freezer?" A bit of odious cheese wedged between your toes. Uh, seriously:  A lark, a spanking, a whisper heard in smoked filled pool halls. Whom What have you been "spanking" in pool halls? A rumor shared between mop boys at the local porn shop. Calling DQ for a tired "your mom" joke, calling DQ for a tired "your mom" joke. DQ, lane 3 please. A small bead of fear-bred perspiration that trickles down your spine. The first line of the opening monologue to Weekend at Mummifiedstalin'sA random act of folly, a tearful indiscretion, an incredulous lie... Like when a used car salesman shows me the odometer, or a politician promises to take care of my needs, or a strip dancer says she loves me? |
|
|
|
Post by Mighty Jack on Feb 3, 2013 11:24:59 GMT -5
;D Nice!
and the award for best, most well thought on reply on a Sloanes, goes to...
|
|
|
|
Post by Blurryeye on Feb 4, 2013 14:12:27 GMT -5
... ME because I haven't posted here in eons, which is the most sensible, intelligent thing a person can do. Although I think the syntax of the previous post needs to be taken back to the workshop for realignment.
|
|
|
|
Post by siamesesin on Feb 4, 2013 20:57:36 GMT -5
Maybe while he's there we can sell him on a new bumper and some brake shoes.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mighty Jack on Feb 5, 2013 0:13:13 GMT -5
I don't know what syntax means, but it sounds dirty.
|
|
|
|
Post by siamesesin on Feb 5, 2013 4:00:06 GMT -5
I know I'm real because the booze runs out.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mighty Jack on Feb 7, 2013 1:58:50 GMT -5
Hmm that gives me an idea for a clever, wholly original comic strip idea. In this piece, Mitchell asks Sia, "Who drank all the booze?" And she replies, "Not me"... and in the corner would be this ghostly figure, with "Not Me" tattooed on its chest. Oh and since you can see through the ghost, half of his body would be the color of booze!
Ha Ha Ha Ha! It would be hilarious don't you think. Especially if I drew it within a circle, instead of the standard square.
I am a comedy genius!
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Quixote on Feb 8, 2013 20:43:46 GMT -5
...And then they free willy?
|
|
|
|
Post by Mighty Jack on Feb 9, 2013 2:44:45 GMT -5
...but Little Willy, Willy wont... go home!
|
|
|
|
Post by Mitchell on Feb 9, 2013 7:20:54 GMT -5
Great. Now I have Sweet stuck in my head. THANKS.
|
|
|
|
Post by Crowfan on Feb 9, 2013 8:41:09 GMT -5
At least you can't blame me for that. Oh, wait, you probably can.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Quixote on Feb 9, 2013 9:39:41 GMT -5
It's not a matter of being able to. We're all capable of that. It's a matter of it making sense, which isn't a problem for 2/3 of the people in Sloane.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mitchell on Feb 9, 2013 13:36:30 GMT -5
It's not a matter of being able to. We're all capable of that. It's a matter of it making sense, which isn't a problem for 2/3 of the people in Sloane. You mean you're not in love with Telly Savalas? You mean Mumms really isn't a semi-closeted homosexual necrophilliac? You mean Sia hasn't tried to pay me in bulk kitty litter for the privelge of letting her motorboat me? You mean that Mighty Jack isn't the only one who hasn't turned this section of the board into an endless stream of pecker and poop jokes? You mean Crowfan doesn't ruin every thread? You mean Phantom Engineer actually is funny? You mean Ratso doesn't have a prostitute pit in his basement? You mean The New Mads didn't escape from it? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?! |
|
|
|
Post by Crowfan on Feb 9, 2013 17:44:51 GMT -5
For the record, I only ruin 99% of the threads. Jkazoo ruins the other 1%
|
|
