Torgo's Review Thread 2.0

[Torgo]

Travel back to the beginning. And by beginning I mean middle of the story. Eh who cares. It's the original Star Wars, and you still love that one, right? RIGHT?

Also you must learn what to do when the blockbuster drops. Our BONUS SHORT today is the Star Wars of educational shorts, Duck and Cover!

[Torgo]

"Rifftrax riffed The Empire Strikes Back."
"Nooooo! That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Read the MST3K, Rifftrax, and Beyond review, you'll know it to be true!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Oh well, today's bonus short taught us to Live and Learn!

[Torgo]

At long last, the final Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi! And thus we end the Star Wars saga, and all I can say is that it's about time.

What's that Disney? You did what? Oooooooooh nooooooooooo. I won't do it. ::runs away screaming::gets drug back:: NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO WATCH THREE MORE!

And in honor of Jabba's pig guard, today's bonus short takes a look at the
Behavior of Domestic-Pigs in a Semi-Natural Pig-Park. Folks who say The Conjuring is the scariest thing they've ever seen have never seen this.

[Torgo]

Star Wars is back and I have reviewed the Rifftrax to The Force Awakens! Now to just sit back and wait for my two billion dollars for leeching off this franchise.

In the meantime our BONUS SHORT has some advice most fanboys best keep in mind: Act Your Age!

[Torgo]

I was thinking of getting a face lift via CGI. Why don't we check out the many in this Rifftrax riff of Rogue One and tell me if I should go for the Peter Cushing or the Carrie Fisher.

And today's BONUS SHORT takes a look at lovably frustrating tykes! It's the Frustrating Fours and Fascinating Fives!

[Torgo]

Buy your mom a Porg for Mother's Day in celebration of the last entry in our May the 4th marathon, the most recent Rifftrax release The Last Jedi!

And in today's bonus short, I ask the question that if I've been seeing Star Wars this long are we Going Steady?

[Torgo]

After about a week and a half of recuperation and constantly saying things like "Man, I hate Star Wars" or "Man, I hate Rifftrax," MST3K, Rifftrax, and Beyond is back with another swing at a classic MST episode, Colossus and the Headhunters! I assure everyone that I'm still alive. Just barely.

Adding to the work load, I've also added reviews of the Play MSTie for Me Triple Decker and rounded it out with a DVD retrospective of Volume XXXVIII, because the obvious conclusion was I needed MORE poopie to type after being gone for so long.

Next Time: Mirror, Mirror...

[Torgo]

HELP ME, I'M IN ANOTHER DIMENSION! And so are Servo and Gypsy! All this and a cowboy movie in the Star Trek inspired Last of the Wild Horses, our latest episode review at MST3K, Rifftrax, and Beyond!

Next Time: MST invents the prequel.

[Torgo]

Let's make the assumption that today's movie follows Commander Richard Kimble as he seeks the one-armed Klingon that killed his wife and is chased by a persistent bounty hunter. It's the KTMA version of Fugitive Alien (A Star Wars Story?), our latest review.

Next Time: Squeak.

BUT FIRST: Three Blind Mice theme plays.

[Torgo]

Hot off of the MST Season 12 episode announcement and Rifftrax's brand new riff of the original Gamera, I offer...a review of Mike and Kevin's DVD intros for The Three Stooges's Greatest Routines. I apologize in advance. I'll try and be more interesting next time.

I do however offer a new BONUS SHORT! If you like the Three Stooges need to Improve Your Pronunciation, check it out!

[Torgo]

My tenth season section comes to a close as I review one of my least favorite episodes of the series. It's a lot of squeakin' in It Lives By Night!

Next Time: Claude Rains...Vincent Price...Ben Murphy...

[Torgo]

I also added a Season 10 Retrospective for those interested.

[Torgo]

That's it, MST! Give it the ol' college try! Today we tackle a loose adaptation of The Invisible Man into the loose attempt at a TV movie, Riding with Death!

That's not enough? Well then, check out new entries for both the FIRST and SECOND (AKA last) Summer Blockbuster Review specials! And also check out a retrospective of Volume XXXVI!

Next Time: GET OUT OF HERE! You dis-GUSS-ting wooooooooooorm!

[Torgo]

CABOT?! HEY CABOT! CABOT, WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME? CABOT! CABOT?! HOLD ON, CABOT! THERE'S A REVIEW OF OUTLAW AT MST3K, RIFFTRAX, AND BEYOND, CABOT! CABOT, JUST CLICK THE LINK! CABOT, HAVE YOU READ IT?! HEY CABOT!

Next Time: Taste the rainbow.

[Torgo]

C'mon, Frank! You can make a bubble! Just put your legs together and SQUEEZE! Hopefully my latest review of Gamera vs. Barugon doesn't burst YOUR bubble! Click the link and find out!

Next Time: Love American Style.