After assimilating nine of the thirteen movies being shown this season, that just leaves the question of whether or not they’re going to be good episodes or not. We’ll find out in due course. Part of the magic of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is how it takes something from the heap and turns it into something new and fun. There are films out there that you might not see the potential in that might absolutely have the spark hidden within. I probably would have never have taken a second look at films like Girl in Gold Boots, Red Zone Cuba, or maybe even Mitchell or Manos and have thought to myself “This would make a great episode,” but somehow the series made them work.
But speaking as someone who has seen every episode of the series more than once and has logged every single one on a dumpster fire of a blog, I can safely say I have opinions on the show and maybe even a gut feeling about what maybe will make good fuel for the series. Based on that, I give you the nine movies I watched ranked based on my anticipation for the episode.
9. MunchieI’d hesitate to call Munchie a lost cause, as comedies can be tricky business but not impossible. That slight doubt of what Munchie has to offer is what puts it at the bottom of this list. I imagine it’s an attempt to recreate the experience of Mac and Me from the previous season, though Munchie is a bit more flamboyant than Mac and Me which might prove more troublesome for a comedy commentary. On Twitter, Hampton Yaunt said he was assigned to write on this movie and he said it nearly broke him, and if I know this fanbase as well as I do, I think the majority of fans will reject the movie selection (It’s amazing how many fans of a franchise devoted to bad movies complain when it makes them watch a bad movie). Munchie feels like it’s going to be less of the Mac and Me of this season and closer to the Atlantic Rim of this season, the one that could be a solid episode but people will whine about because they don’t want to watch the movie.
I’d say the smarter play might have been to not try and recreate Mac and Me and try and recreate Hobgoblins instead, forgetting about Munchie and going straight for the prequel Munchies instead. Munchie is the worse movie, but Munchies is the bolder experience that will leave an impression outside of the riffing itself. And Shout can’t tell me they couldn’t get the rights to it, as they’ve owned New Horizon’s catalogue for several years and even have Munchies and Munchie available in a double feature blu-ray.
8. Beyond AtlantisThe potential in Beyond Atlantis feels like it’s the same potential as films like Wild Women of Wongo or Jungle Goddess, as it’s a pretty daff movie that’s mostly stationary. The plotline is large for a movie that moves so little, but despite those big ideas it can get dull because it feels like it’s not going anywhere. They’ve worked with films like this before though so there might be a diamond in the rough here.
There are silly makeup effects a plenty and there are a lot of underwater swimming bikini sequences, so even if this results in a lackluster episode there will be highlights. I like this movie choice based mostly on its premise though its execution might fail the MST format.
7. Robot WarsIt crushes me that I’m rating Robot Wars this low. Based on the title and the trailer footage this movie seems like it should be the most amazing film choice of the season. The thing I can’t get past is that the movie isn’t nearly as fun a bad movie as it sounds, as it’s pacing is a disaster and there are less robots than I would like in my Robot Wars movie.
That being said, the movie certainly is silly enough, and the production design is adorable. I don’t want to fully write off a Charles Band production featured on the series because there will always be something special there, and because of that I ranked it above Beyond Atlantis at the very least. This one is just way too close to a tossup than is comfortable for me.
6. The Million Eyes of SumuruThe good news is that The Million Eyes of Sumuru has already been on the series. It was a KTMA episode, but still it has clout. The KTMA episode isn’t half bad, though it declines a bit as it goes (mostly because J. Elvis Weinstein had to duck out half way through filming). KTMA films have been refeatured on the show to great effect in the third season, so getting to see them take another crack at more seems like a good idea.
Would I have picked Sumuru? There is promise, though it’s a bit too self-aware and intentionally comedic than I’d like. If I were to pick a movie from KTMA to take another crack at, I’d like to see Cosmic Princess or City on Fire. Also Legend of Dinosaurs, because I love my Japanese movies, though I concede that movie might be a bit too dour. I think Sumuru might make for a healthy episode though not a spectacular one. But even if the episode is bad, we always have the RiffTrax version.
5. Demon SquadI’m a little nervous about what the future of Demon Squad will be after it hits the series. Throwing a movie like this to a wider audience that lives to scrutinize is almost like a salmon jumping out of a river in front of a bear. It’s easy prey but it’s not a movie that really deserves to be judged too harshly. And if there is one thing I know about MST it’s that its fans do have a tendency to drag titles on the series through the mud. A lot of ratings for films featured on the series on IMDB have been skewed simply because they’ve been on the series, not because they deserve the scrutiny. The highest rated film that has been on MST over there is Phase IV with a 6.5, and I think that movie gets off so easy because it was featured on KTMA (the only other movie with over a 6 is Diabolik).
However the silver lining to Demon Squad being on the series is that the show does grow an audience for films few people have seen. Manos was virtually unheard of before it was on the show, but now it’s a staple in cult films. Demon Squad has the potential to be a new Time Chasers, which was a movie everyone had laughs at but a good amount of fans defended after it aired saying “You know what, that movie wasn’t bad. I kinda liked it.” That might be Demon Squad’s future, which is really what it deserves, in my opinion. And if the episode is as good as Time Chasers then that certainly wouldn’t hurt.
4. The Christmas DragonNormally I wouldn’t think too highly of this one, but the one thing that lingers in the back of my head is how much of a personality it has. The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t was a fairly disappointing holiday special in season 11, which could possibly be because as dumb as the movie is, it’s really not that interesting. The Christmas Dragon doesn’t have that problem. It has elements that are about as equal parts earnest and stupid as Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I’m thinking there is something to be mined from that. There aren’t many Christmas movies with dragons burning people alive, that’s something I can tell you right now.
Another intriguing thing about The Christmas Dragon has nothing to do with the film itself but rather what we already know about the episode. We do know that this particular episode will see the Avengers of Mystery Science Theater 3000 unite as Joel Hodgson, Jonah Ray, and Emily Marsh will all riff this film together. I’d prefer Mike Nelson be there to complete that experience, but as a long standing fan of this series I can’t help but be excited for it. Is The Christmas Dragon the ideal candidate to bring them together? Probably not. But it’s one that could make a good episode regardless.
3. The Shape of Things to ComeOh hell yes. Nonsensical space operas are my jam, and from Rocky Jones to Starcrash, they work so well on the series. The Shape of Things to Come feels like it could make for a wildly fun episode. The goofy model work, the absurd plot, Jack Palance in general (Outlaw is one of the series highlights), and OH MY GOD THE SLOW MOTION SCENE! If done right, this could be a gem in the making.
The one worrying aspect is that they might ride a bit too hard on the joke that this is nothing like the novel its based on. A prime example of this is the RiffTrax of the Super Mario Bros. movie, which gets a little clumsy in its “I don’t remember this in the game” riffs. I don’t think that will be a problem but it is something to be concerned about. Like Million Eyes of Sumuru there is a RiffTrax of this movie also, so we’ll see which group make better work out of this.
2. Gamera vs. JigerIt’s Gamera. That’s really all that needs to be said. Gamera has such a rich history with the series, even if all the episodes aren’t winners. What works in Jiger’s favor is that it’s one of the better and more enjoyable Gamera movies with a premise that is just as insane as you’d expect. This movie has more fire in it than Gamera vs. Gaos or Gamera vs. Zigra, which leads me to believe that this will be one of the better Gamera episodes of the series.
Another thing to note is that this is the one film of the season that will be featured unedited, which has been confirmed to be a stipulation by Kadokawa on the film’s inclusion on the series, which means it won’t be cut down for comedic pacing or to compact it in the tradition MST time frame. This could potentially be a bad thing, but I have enough faith that they’ll make due.
One thing we do know about this episode is that the Kickstarter updates accidentally outed the fact that this will be one of the movies hosted by Jonah’s crew, and they’re the veterans right now. Maybe next year they can give Gamera vs. Viras to Emily so they can each have one.
1. Doctor MordridI absolutely adore this movie selection. This movie is so much fun by itself and if a movie is fun by itself, that bodes well for the MST episode. This is the type of film I wished Robot Wars was more like, less talk and more action. A rambunctious fantasy that is so silly that you can’t help but look at it and laugh while clapping your hands.
Maybe that’s not a guarantee for a great episode, but I can’t help but look at this movie and think of movies like Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, Soultaker, Zombie Nightmare, Eegah, or Outlaw. That’s some stunning pedigree right there, and if I’m being reminded of it without even having watched the episode itself, that’s saying a lot about how confident I am in this film.
The UnseenBut if I only watched nine of thirteen, what does that leave and what do I think of them based on what I’ve seen? I won’t hazard any speculations too confident but these are my gut reactions:
Gamera and Sumuru aren’t the only returns we’ll be seeing this season, as we’ll also be seeing the return of everyone’s favorite Lucha Libre superhero Santo, last seen in Samson vs. the Vampire Women. This time he is also fighting vampire women, so I guess safety in familiarity? Santo is definitively an icon in the series, but Samson vs. the Vampire Women is not a favorite episode of mine. Because of that it’s hard for me to get too excited for The Treasure of Dracula. It might even be my least anticipated episode of the season, which is unfortunate because it’s the first one.
Batwoman’s world got a little less wild, wild. This rather infamous Spanish knock-off has a reputation that precedes it. If nothing else, we have bikinis! This movie looks like it could be a good fit for the series. The last Batwoman movie we saw was a rough one so this one can’t possibly be any worse.
The first black and white movie featured on the show since Horrors of Spider Island in 1999, and it’s also the episode the crew plans to release in 3D. I’m not really looking forward to the 3D experience, but this movie looks interesting. Jonah Ray admitted on Twitter that he wrote on this one and that he enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I’m going to trust that endorsement and I’m pretty excited for this one.
The hype for The Bubble dates back to the Kickstarter as Joel was constantly teasing an movie as being “The next Manos” and a film that “Ruined our day” when they first watched it. Those kind of words don’t generate much of any excitement in any fanbase except our own, so if nothing else I’m interested in seeing what this movie is. Online reviews don’t seem to think that the film is quite that bad, but I’m curious about that Manos-spark that lies within it.
And with that this little project comes to an end. I had fun and I’m on pins and needles waiting for Friday as the new season gets underway. The Gizmoplex is ready to rock and roll and I have all my apps downloaded. And if we get another season, you bet I’ll try and do this again!