Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 8, 2016 2:42:14 GMT -5
511-Gunslinger
The Movie
Beverly Garland plays Rose, a woman who’s US marshal husband is killed. Logically, Rose is made marshal because why the hell not? After pissing off a local saloon owner, Rose finds herself the target of a gun for hire…who also falls in love with her.
I hate westerns. Okay, wait let me rephrase that. I hate lazy, insipid, cliché westerns. Movies that were made on the cheap to cash in off of genre popularity. My father, on the other hand, loves them. If you were to ask him, there was probably never a bad western made. He has probably seen and has enjoyed Gunslinger, and if I were to have shown him this MST version, he probably would have been irritated at the fools at the bottom of the screen that won’t shut up during this “classic.” The western isn’t my genre. Hell, I mostly am confused why this particular time period in our history deserves its own genre label when very few, if any, others do. I guess there is the war movie, but that is extensive to different time periods as well. I don’t feel any particularly fond attachment to the late 1800’s, when I feel there are more interesting periods in history worth visiting on celluloid.
However, if I were to compare the western to a genre/subgenre I do enjoy, let’s say the superhero subgenre. This category isn’t for everybody, but for those who enjoy it, they love it. There are even those like me who enjoy the lazy, insipid, cliché ones that were made on the cheap to cash in off of genre popularity, because hey, it’s part of that genre I enjoy. So I get where my dad is coming from, at the very least.
But what about Gunslinger? It’s one of those lazy, insipid, cliché ones made on the cheap to cash in off of genre popularity. Sure, having a female heroine at the center was probably quite inventive in the 1950’s, but this just simply isn’t the production to give a rat’s ass about it in.
But Gunslinger is more watchable than most westerns of its type. It’s a goofball production that’s amusing in how shoddy it is at any rate. It doesn’t inspire any interest storywise, but if the words “Directed by Roger Corman” don’t excite you, then mosey along (unless you’re a western nut like my dad).
Movie Rating: 5/10
The Episode
Well, they had to have SOMETHING before Mitchell.
There’s a lingering shadow over Gunslinger, being the penultimate episode of the Joel era. You know while watching it that everybody working on it is preparing for Joel’s exit, which gives it a bit of a melancholy bitterness. As such, it’s hard to view the episode as anything but “The one before Mitchell,” though putting it out of context, the episode holds its own. The movie is wonderfully sloppy (“Cue the horses!”) and the riffing links up with the movies shortcomings to bring them to a wonderfully high elevation.
Host segments are amusing. I’m like the opening of turning Tom into a game of Kaboom, the Gypsy Express delights, and Tom’s Quantum Linear Super-Imposing segment is a gas. The invention exchange features the SOL crew running with the concept of a whiffle ball and the Mads running with the concept of Scanners. Also present is a host segment where Joel ponders death with the bots, which comes off as an odd funeral for the era that is about to end.
The episode isn’t Mitchell, and precluding a powerhouse like that is no easy task. On its own Gunslinger is a wonderful episode that demands to be appreciated. I’ve hardly ever heard it mentioned in fan circles, but it’s one that always busts my gut.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
While the episode was among Rhino’s VHS releases, Rhino didn’t finally release a DVD of the damn thing until Volume 6, after they had three different releases featuring nine new episodes (and one they had already released on DVD even). Picture and audio were good, though. There weren’t any bonus features.
The episode was rereleased by Shout Factory as an individual. There were also no bonus features.
Next Time: A Sandy Frank flick that wasn’t watched twice! (thank god)
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 10, 2016 2:29:16 GMT -5
K21-The “Legend of Dinosaurs”The MovieOriginally released in Japan as Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds (because dinosaurs need that added bump of monster birds), this movie tells of a plesiosaur being awakened from a prehistoric slumber and begins to eat just about anybody in its way. To make matters worse, a pterodactyl awakens not long after and begins to do the same thing. Because there is no other storyline, the two meet at the very end and Japan is all… Okay, here is what bugs me about this movie. We have a movie about giant reptiles that eat people, that’s fair enough. Great and fun movies have been made about monstrous beasts preying on humans (Jaws) and even Japan has some under its belt (War of the Gargantuas). If this movie were just that, I could ride with it. The tone of the movie is the problem, specifically the tone of the music. It seems that the director of the movie itself and the film composer aren’t on the same page. The film is directed as a dark horror movie that aims to unsettle, the music seems like Muzak. For example, halfway through the movie there is a woman in a life raft relaxing on the lake, when a plesiosaur appears, chews off her leg, knocks her around in a playful, manner, and finally eats her, and all of this plays out in long, graphic shots and in slow motion. Adding in the strange music selection for this scene, this no longer feels like a horror movie. Taking the music, the editing, and the direction into account, every aspect of this scene feels like a porno. It gives this weird vibe that the violence in this movie is pornographic, and it’s…a very odd sensation indeed. And the MST gang thought The Creeping Terror was an odd fetish movie. It has nothing on Legend of Dinosaurs. For kaiju enthusiasts like myself, the dinosaur scenes are sometimes cool though sometimes very silly, just the way we like them. One bit of unintentional laughter comes at the end where the pterodactyl attempts to confuse the plesiosaur by jumping up and down rapidly. But the effort is there and the dinosaurs are fairly decent props. The movie itself is just a stumble of bad choices ruining the fun, all coming to a halt with a stunningly long climax that is both goofy and boring where the Earth shatters and lava swallows the dinosaurs while threatening our human cast. When all is said and done, there is effort in Legend of Dinosaurs, but the movie just isn’t fun. Movie Rating: 4/10The EpisodeHere we are on the final episode of KTMA’s run with the show, and the crew clearly has a more defined idea of what the series should be at this point. While still impromptu, Joel and the bots fire rapidly in every direction, allowing for barely a silent moment. Not all of it is great, but there are solid laughs to be had. They particularly seem to be in a musical mood, singing everything from theme songs to jingles. They aren’t afraid to get dark when the movie does, and they don’t seem to flinch at its most somber imagery. What’s sad is that they barely even scratch the big faults of the film and just go for safe “fakey special effects” and “uh-oh, you’re dinner” type of riffs. Legend of Dinosaurs might have been prime for a remake in season three, along with other films in the Sandy Frank package, but alas we can only dream of what might have been. Host segments peak early on as the Mads concoct a scheme to boost rating by creating a “Joel is dead” rumor, ala the Beatles. There are fun segments about special effects, but a lot of our time outside of the theater kind of sits there blandly. Poopie!: Apparently segments one and three aired in the wrong order, since the first segment refers to the third as happening earlier. It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly how I feel about this episode. There are moments where Joel and the bots are witty and clever and others where they’re just DOA. The movie itself some funny special effects and weird tonal problems, but is unpleasant. The question really is which side wins out? The boys bring just enough fun to the table for me to say this one is worthwhile. Episode Rating: GoodNext Time: Never ever EVER!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 15, 2016 2:46:55 GMT -5
204-Catalina CaperThe Movie*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*Originally titled Never Steal Anything Wet, this flick tells a “story” (let’s face it, bikini booties shaking is the real story here) of a scroll being stolen from an art museum. The crooks try to swindle their boss and hide the scroll at the bottom of the ocean, but when their plans don’t pan out the race is on to recover it. And obviously dance scenes on the beach have everything to do with all of this. But who cares? Let’s watch the only scene in this movie worth watching! I despise this movie. In fact, I’m sorely tempted to call it one of the worst movies they’ve ever done. However I find myself stopping myself and asking whether or not I was going to tear this movie a new one because it’s genuinely dreadful or just not my cup of tea. My final deduction is…I don’t know. There are a lot of beach party movies from the 60’s and I have trouble figuring out which are the “good” ones and which are the “bad” ones, or if those designations even exist for them for the people who watch them. They probably do, but if it does they lie in little production subtleties that only that crowd would notice from one film to the next. All I know is that this one doesn’t have an elderly Buster Keaton bringing dignified routines to the film, which is a strike against it in my opinion. That’s the only reason I’d ever watch one of these films. Bikini bodies are nice and I do enjoy Little Richard, even in a useless cameo singing a lesser song. Maybe this one is less bad than my brain is telling me it is, and if you like this type of movie you might enjoy it (I'd be a bad judge of that). But let’s watch some more Little Richard to wash more of it out anyway. Movie Rating: 4/10The EpisodeCited as the first time Mystery Science Theater riffed on an intentional comedy, which is a big deal because it’s an important lesson learned. There are a lot of hurdles to jump over when tackling this kind of movie, and one of them is acknowledging that the movie has the same objective as MST and that it’s failing. The question that begs be asked is that how you make humor doesn’t work into something that does? There are moments in Catalina Caper that prove that it’s not impossible, however there are only so many ways they can make it work. Since MST is two hours long, watching them work the same variations of “HAHAHAHAHA that’s not funny” become tedious. As the film goes on, all of their efforts at tearing the film down just seem to bounce off it, like bullets off of Superman. That is if Superman were a male-bimbo in little trunks, wearing a daffy grin and go-go dancing. Host segments for the most part tend to bet better. Highlighting is Tom Servo’s song “Creepy Girl,” an ode to the female lead of the film, which is fabulous. The Invention Exchange is a winner too, with the Tank Tops being one of the best visual gags ever featured on the show. The sole loser of the bunch is Frank’s Tupperware party, which starts nowhere and spirals out of control. Catalina Caper isn’t the last time MST would take on a comedy (Hobgoblins being their big dip back into that territory), but it was a lesson learned in that they need to be careful about where they tread here. It’s a hard lesson too, because this episode just doesn’t jive. Episode Rating: Not RecommendedThe DVDRhino released the episode in Volume 1, and the picture and sound are fabulous. The first special feature is an uncut version of the film itself, which is just too unbearable to make it through. I pride myself in being able to watch almost anything, but I may have found my limit with this one. On the plus side, the full screen picture quality is terrible, faded and full of scratches. The less I get to see of this movie the better. The sound is pretty washed out too. The print in the actual episode is better. There’s also a trailer for the movie, in case you want to see even more washed out random clips of it. Shout Factory later rereleased Volume 1, in which Catalina Caper both looked and sounded just as good as its Rhino counterpart. In case you have no interest in the unriffed film itself (and I don’t blame you if you do), here you’ll find a documentary on Crown International Pictures titled “The Crown Jewels”, which is almost a companion piece to Shout’s documentary on American International on their Viking Women and the Sea Serpent disc. It also contains interview footage from Ross Hagen (star of The Sidehackers and Wild Rebels) shot shortly before his passing. There is also a trailer to the film, which is identical to the one on the Rhino disc. Next Time: Hey! It’s an episode from the upcoming box set! Cool!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 15, 2016 12:22:53 GMT -5
Speaking of episodes that are coming to DVD, I added a note to Incredible Melting Man about the upcoming set in preparation of tonight's other Volume XXXVI feature. WHAT WILL IT BE?!
Stranded in Space? City Limits? Riding with Death?
Double feature coming up! We'll find out!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 16, 2016 3:26:10 GMT -5
403-City Limits
The Movie
Some dude leave a perfectly good naked chick in the post-apocalypse so he can join the LA Clippers…er I mean legendary motorcycle gang called the Clippers. Joining the gang, the Clippers wage war on an evil corporation’s evil scheme to rebuild the world…because civilization is evil. We’re much happier living in a deserted wasteland and killing each other.
So, basically the Resident Evil film series, only smarter.
Melodramatic to a fault, this piece of dystopian garbage doesn’t have a plot worth investing in (like most dystopian garbage, to be honest). So instead it compensates by haphazardly trying to check off a list of the bare necessities to get a tween audience to have some small sliver of desire to watch it (again, like most dystopian garbage). City Limits doesn’t have an A-list production budget to pay much of its promises off, so we’re left with what smells like a Cannon Films version of the latest young adult novel flavor of the week. The sad thing is that most of those dystopian stories are better conceived than City Limits, which doesn’t even have an interesting concept half-baked into it, like oh say Divergent or the like.
There are a few stars, with James Earl Jones of Star Wars/Lion King/“This is CNN” fame being the biggie. Kim Cattrall is also here, many years prior to her major claim to fame of Sex and the City (which incidentally was even a ways after this MST episode was filmed). Rae Dawn Chong went on to do Commando and The Color Purple (the former deserved an Oscar nomination just as much as the latter). And while he’s hardly a star, Dean Devlin went on to be a writer and producer of such movies as Universal Soldier, Stargate, and Independence Day. Who’d have thought City Limits would be the least embarrassing thing on his resume? I kid, I kid. I like Stargate as much as the next guy.
Movie Rating: 3/10
The Episode
“Oh! Austin City Limits!”
City Limits gets a lot of hard knocks from the MST community, but I’ve always enjoyed it. The doofy movie a pretty funny slice of cheese by itself, which helps. The riffing never really finds much of a rhythm with the movie, which is probably why it rubs a lot of people the wrong way. However a lot of what Joel and the bots throw at it is pretty funny, just lightweight, and combined with the unintentional laughs of the film I have to declare the theater segments a lot of fun.
Poopie!: Joel tries his best to cover up the film’s nudity with an umbrella, but as he opens it he misses his mark and we get a great big gander at some female booty!
Host segments are just as much slightness as the theater segments. There’s a random Captain Kangaroo segment, Crow has an off-key song about Kim Cattrall, while two segments are spent coming up with phony superhero names. The Invention Exchange features variations on Mr. Potato Head and some pop star Tupperware featuring Morrissey!
It’s no masterpiece, but every time the credits roll and I hear that “BLEH BLEH BLEH!” and listen to Joel and the bots rap to it I find myself always feeling that I’ve had a great time during the last ninety minutes. I say give this one a chance. It may surprise you.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
City Limits is due to be released by Shout Factory on July 29th via their Volume XXXVI set. Special features have yet to be announced.
Next Time: The Spy Who Hugged Me.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 17, 2016 1:32:18 GMT -5
504-Secret Agent Super Dragon
The Movie
The name’s Bland, James Bland.
After a fellow agent is killed, agent Super Dragon returns from retirement to look smug and douchey like most James Bond knock-offs (and James Bond himself, incidentally). His mission: To seek out dastardly villains smuggling drugs.
This message will self destruct in five seconds.
Spy movies are not always my bag. James Bond in particular is a Mary Sue with very little interesting about him, and his movies are usually action scenes posing as plots (good thing the action scenes are usually damn good). Give me a good old fashioned intriguing episode of Mission: Impossible any day, or the on-target parody of Get Smart.
When it comes to these foreign Bond wannabes, if they can’t replicate the action then they’re left with what’s left in a Bond movie: An unlikable main character, nonsensical exposition, and pretty women. Only the women are worth staying for. Secret Agent Super Dragon is definitely one of those flicks that wants the Bond audience but isn’t spending the dime to recreate a Bond experience.
Movie Rating: 4/10
The Episode
Never been a big fan of spy episodes, even though there are one or two good ones in the bunch (Danger!! Death Ray is tops). Maybe it’s because a bad spy movie doesn’t have personality (because it’s too busy copying that of a more popular spy movie), but these movies are real slogs in my opinion. The riffing needs to go an extra mile to make Secret Agent Super Dragon keep my attention, but unfortunately the majority of the theater work stays dry in tone, and is a bit of a drone. Occasionally the movie will do something silly to snap the boys into attention (the mask auction/party scene gets some great laughs) but it feels like they’re as bored with the movie selection as I am.
Host segments put some pep in their step, though. They play with some fun spy movie tropes, with Crow’s latest script “The Spy Who Hugged Me” being a golden moment in the episode (a spy movie catering to modern 90’s sensibilities). We also get a fun discussion on one-liners and Dr. Forrester’s lecture on supervillainy. As for the Invention Exchange, Joel’s Micro Golf wins out while Frank’s is just mildly amusing. We also see Crow and Servo building their own robot…
“I am the atomic powered robot! Please give my best wishes to everybody!”
Secret Agent Super Dragon is not an episode I watch often and it’s easy to see why. It’s low-energy riffing on a bland movie, and it just doesn’t have any flavor. This one is not a must-see by any definition of the word.
Movie Rating: Not Recommended
The DVD
Rhino released Super Dragon on DVD with Volume 12. Picture and audio are both top notch, and the extras include more wraps from the MST Hour, featuring Mike as Jack Perkins, who has a case of secret agent envy. Also included is a very Bond-ian trailer for the film.
Next Time: I’ve done seven Joel episodes in a row, it’s about time to throw some Mike in. And what better way than THE BEST EPISODE OF THE SERIES?
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 22, 2016 12:52:45 GMT -5
816-Prince of Space
The Movie
The world (or just Japan really) is being invaded by the villainous aliens from the planet Krankor. Japan’s response is to look droopy and mope around until they are rescued by a superhero named Prince of Space! Impervious to Krankor’s offense, Prince of Space uses the power of bootblacking to send these invaders back where they came from.
This absolutely glorious piece of filmmaking hails from the land of the rising sun, and it’s a nuanced piece about life that influenced Kurosawa to up his game after spending half his career making garbage. Prince of Space is the epitome of artistic filmmaking.
Lol.
Prince of Space is actually Japanese children’s entertainment at its strangest. Kids over there eat this stuff up, be it Ultraman, Super Sentai, or MST’s favorite whipping boy Gamera. What those shows and movies have that Prince of Space doesn’t is context. Prince of Space is never given an origin of any kind, he’s just a plot contrivance to fend off the Krankor invasion. What exactly makes him the “Prince” of Space, we don’t know, and why such royalty is laying low as a bootblack on Earth is anybody’s guess.
That said, I love the f***ing hell out of this movie! The costumes are goofy, the plot is bizarre, and the production design is kooky as all get out. I could watch this movie outside the show and be just as entertained. I never have, and that’s something I have to live with unfortunately.
Movie Rating: 10/10 (YES I’M SERIOUS!)
The Episode
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is one of my favorite shows, but very few episodes still constantly engage me from beginning to end, especially as life becomes more complicated as time goes on. It’s to be expected. Each episode is much longer than your average television program. It amazes me that I ever had enough time to watch every episode of this series.
I put on my Analytical Asshole Hat and sit down to watch my latest random episode, which came up as Prince of Space, to dissect what makes the episode tick. The episode began and my analytical mind disappeared as I glued myself to the screen. I’ve seen this episode dozens of times, and after ten years I laugh myself silly every time. To me, this is the perfect dumbass movie, the perfect riffing style, and the perfect thrillride of a comedy machine. You can keep your Pod Peoples, your Manoses, and your Mitchells, my favorite episode of the series is right here.
Analytical Asshole Hat asks the question: Why does it work? My response is “Who cares? It does!” But if I were to point out one thing about this episode that I love it’s that it’s a whirlwind of kooky surreal-reality, which begins at its less-than-Super-Sentai feature film bringing cheap Japanese children’s matinee thrills to our disbelieving eyes and it soaks straight into the way Mike and the bots watch the film. They never take the movie seriously, and when they do they’re just kind of playing with it. Take the aliens of Krankor and the run-on gag that they’re a race of chicken men, which is probably about the most perfect direction they could have taken these characters, and it gives them a bit of an added charisma that makes them more memorable than they would have been otherwise. The movie and riffing style were made for each other. I want them to get married, have kinky sex, and make babies.
Adding to this surreal tone is the host segments, which sees the Satellite of Love flying through a wormhole as they follow Pearl on a quest to find a lost Professor Bobo. These are quite possibly the best host segments of the Sci-Fi era and among the greatest segments the series has ever produced. The wormhole give the episode the opportunity to utilize clever writing (the time lag), new props (Mike as a robot), and a change of scenery (the sylvan glen). You can’t ask for anything better.
(Note: On an unfortunate bit of irony, I watched this episode the same day that music superstar Prince passed away (this was completely by accident). When a riff flew in his direction at the expense of Prince of Space, I laughed and then sighed. Wasn’t a fan of his, but may he rest in peace.)
Prince of Space forever has a place in my heart, both movie and the episode. There isn’t a minute that goes by where I’m not laughing, which is an achievement indeed for an episode that I’ve been so exposed to for over fifteen years. It’s the best episode of the series. You can argue all you want, but it’s going to fall on deaf ears. This episode just clicks together in the way that I treasure from the show.
Episode Rating: Classic (I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!)
The DVD
Rhino released the episode in their Volume 7 collection with thankfully great video and audio presentation. There were no special features.
Next Time: …the…next…episode…that…I’ll…be…reviewing…will…be…DOI WANG CHING CHONG DAI COW CHING CHONG POW!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 23, 2016 1:45:13 GMT -5
This post is dedicated to Michelle McNamara, wife of Patton Oswalt, future Mad of the eleventh season. May Patton find comfort in this darkest hour. 515-The Wild Wild World of Batwoman (With Short: “Cheating”) The ShortDumbass Johnny is having trouble with math and asks to copy off of Mary’s paper. Johnny is soon elected into student council and finds himself relying on Mary’s answers more than ever. But when his sham is discovered, everything he has achieved is at risk as his life spirals out of control. This short is obviously shown to classrooms to dissuade cheaters, though it’s easy to deduce that the film portrays a worst case scenario. It’s unlikely most cheaters would hold a student council chair, and if they did I’d be more concerned that somebody holding a rank can’t do simple fractions. Though it skims over that with the line “I don’t think anyone that cheats should hold in office.” Political commentary noted, though all of Washington laughs at this line. Melodrama runs high as the director aims for a bizarre noir-ish tone for a simple matter of someone cheating on a test. But they’re likely trying to evoke stress in a young viewer in hopes that they’ll straighten up and fly right. Can’t say it’s ineffective, though as an adult watching it’s kind of hilarious. And honestly I imagine the only real moral they’ll learn is “Don’t get caught.” But remember, if you cheat in school, YOUR LIFE WILL BE DESTROYED! The Movie*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*Let’s set the mood. Now take the oath. We the girls who are dedicated to Batwoman take our oath with all sincerity. We the girls who are dedicated to Batwoman take our pride with all sincerity. We the girls who are dedicated to Batwoman fight against evil with all sincerity. (One Nation, Under Hef.) Batwoman’s arch nemesis Rat Fink is at it again, even though we never knew about him before! This time he’s after the Atomic Hearing Aid (somebody WROTE this folks!), the most powerful eavesdropping device in the world. Batwoman and her booty-shaking Batgirls are hired to protect the device, but Rat Fink is ready to match wits (or what little wits there are) for it. Obviously made as a quicky cash in off of the popularity of Adam West and Burt Ward’s television series Batman, The Wild Wild World of Batwoman takes the concept of a bat-themed crimefighter and slash-fictions it with go-go sex appeal. The movie is content with showing female forms in place of actual content. But then again, porn was created for that very reason, so what exactly do we get out of this? Made by one of the most contemptible filmmakers of all time, Jerry Warren (the Uwe Boll of his day), the movie has no plot, less story, and idiotic stabs at humor. The film is done with no style to speak of, other than LOOK AT THE BIKINI BUTTCHEEKS! The film is made without passion, without meaning, and without reason. I can live with a film being a failure, but a film being a slouch is something intolerable. Movie Rating: 1/10The EpisodeThe all-star of the episode is the short, which is one of the very best of the series. The crew zeroes in on its jarringly dark tone and get dark with the riffs, taking Johnny through bits of depression and suicide. If the short were any less dour than it is they might have failed venturing here, but it’s really a match made in heaven. Not to mention it houses one of the best riffs of the entire series: “Your one mistake, you’ve signed your test ‘Mary Matthews.’” This short inspires the host segments, which lampoon it with great effectiveness. Mike assigns the bots to write an essay on cheating, of which Crow ironically cheats on. When he is caught they deduce what to do with dirty bastard, which includes what sort of punishment he might receive (which includes not getting any Hostess Snowballs or “DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!”). The segments are a brilliant arc, that run the short through the ringer before coming to an ultimate lighthearted conclusion. But what about the movie segments? The movie really, really hurts, so it’s tough to recommend to anybody other than the crowd who believe “the worse the movie is, the better the episode.” This is certainly one of the worst movies ever featured on the show, so they won’t be disappointed. The riffing is on the defense instead of precision offense, because it feels like Mike and the bots are close to cowering in fear. Take the bizarrely un-PC séance scene, where they channel a Chinese spirit that shouts out faux-Chinese gibberish akin to “CHING CHONG CHOW!” Note that Mike and the bots barely riff the scene, letting it really speak for itself. It kind of works, as the scene is painfully unfunny that it circles around the track and becomes funny in a shock laugh of “ Wooooooooooooooow.” The short and host segments are classic material, but it becomes harder to recommend based on the harshness of the film and rocky riffing, though granted reaches glorious highs. The episode averages out to be a good one on the whole, just know what you’re getting. Episode Rating: GoodThe DVDThis episode was released by Rhino individually. Picture and audio were both excellent, and the uncut film is there as a bonus feature. Surprisingly, the film itself is in good shape, maybe a tad bright. The audio is just as poor as it is in the episode. Not that it matters. I can’t imagine most people would be sitting through this one start to finish. Sure it has a lot of female asses shaking, but at what cost?! AT WHAT COST?! Shout Factory also released the episode individually without any bonus features. This might be the preferable option, since the temptation of watching the unriffed film just because it’s there is now gone. The short "Cheating" was featured on Shorts Volume 1, which Rhino compiled into their Volume 2 set. The short featured a humorous introduction by Tom Servo. This compilation is set to be re-released by Shout Factory in their own Volume 2 set on May 24th. Next Time: “Moon rocks? Oh wow!”
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Apr 23, 2016 20:47:32 GMT -5
1007-Track of the Moon BeastThe MovieLike Werewolf before it, Track of the Moon Beast aspires to warn the world against men named Paul because they’re all cursed to transform in ravaging animal beasts (Paul Reubens is also proof of this). Here our resident accursed Paul gets struck on the head by a moon rock (OH WOW). This moon rock (OH WOW) lodged in his brain has him turning into a murderous reptilian beast under the moon. When attempts to remove the moon rock (OH WOW) discover that the moon rock (OH WOW) has merged with his body and will cause him to combust. It’s up to the heroic Johnny Longbow to save the day with an arrow made of moon rock (OH WOW) that will solve Paul’s ailment by making him combust faster. And all of this is told in the most boring way imaginable. Track of the Moon Beast is a slug of a movie, keeping us at bay to watch bland scenes of humans mingling and hiding goofy monster action as long as possible. Perhaps that was this ultra-low budget production’s way of generating suspense (or perhaps they just couldn’t afford more monster footage), but at the very least make your characters fun or interesting to compensate. And no, making one of your characters Native American doesn’t compensate for a lack of personality. Track of the Moon Beast is really the type of monster movie that monster movie lovers dread stumbling on. So-so monster footage and just not enough of it. The acting gives bad acting a bad name (I’ve seen Syfy flicks that fare better with acting than Moon Beast), and its dreary tone exasperates instead of unsettles. Movies like this shouldn’t be a chore. They should be breezy and fun. Moon Beast is neither. Movie Rating: 2/10The EpisodeTrack of the Moon Beast has a something cult fanbase among the MST community. I’m not one of them. I find the riffing to be a tad dry for my tastes, with a couple of laugh out loud moments (I love the scene with the drunk being yelled at by his wife, causing Mike to quip “I miss my mom.”). It doesn’t help that the film is a drab Z-grade cheapie that bores more than it elicits unintentional laughter. Mike and the bots do seem to dig mocking the visual aesthetics of the movie, grilling the nuttier-than-usual-for-the-time-period wardrobe for just about all it’s worth. The amateurish production values get a few fish-in-a-barrel quips as well. They also get a few stabs at a talentless band playing a song called “California Lady,” which proves that One-Hit-Wonder-Wannabes don’t always have one hit in them. That California Lady song leads us to the host segments, notably a Behind the Music style parody of “The Band that Played ‘California Lady,’” which mocks the unfortunately typical backstage drama that you hear about most bands. Once again, it’s a bit too dry for me, though I appreciate the attempt at something witty. Dryness extends to a segment where Crow, Servo, and Gypsy try a lame “Scare Tactics” style practical joke on Mike, only to have his lack of reaction make them break down and beg for forgiveness. There’s a moderately amusing idea at the center, I just didn’t really laugh at it. And then things just get downright weird when Crow and Servo send a spy camera into Mike’s bedroom so they can watch him disrobe. Come to think of it, probably the only memorable moments of the episode were at the beginning where the bots use an onion blossomer on just about everything on the ship and Bobo is being controlled via remote control. Neither of them are really hilarious ideas, but they’re so wacky that they hold more flavor than the rest of the episode. It puts it a shade above moderate amusement, though the rest of the episode just proves to be background noise when I’m doing my laundry. Maybe if I found the name “Johnny Longbone” funny I’d think differently, but meh. Episode Rating: Not RecommendedNext Time:
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Apr 24, 2016 21:03:51 GMT -5
Torgo's going on another vacation, and he's ramped up a few MST episodes to go along with it. Here's hoping to another seven episodes that I might make it through, though Rifftrax Live and Captain America might take a bite out of my entertainment time later in the week. I'll give it my best shot.
What do I have in store?
The first FOUR episodes of the set I've personally labeled with "Classic" status, so we'll be getting off to a great start. Russo-Finnish awesomeness? Yes please! Universal Horror at it's...well, not finest, but it's still Universal Horror. Zombies, Wizards, and Spies, oh my! Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can... And a personal meter as to exactly how much Keefe will be featured.
I'm excited! Why wouldn't I be? More MST is a good thing! Plus it helps fill this out faster before the new season arrives. Go for broke!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Apr 30, 2016 1:14:46 GMT -5
Okay, maybe it won't be THAT many.
I'm off to a late start, due to some pleasant but unforeseen circumstances. I might get started tomorrow, we'll see what that has in store.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Apr 30, 2016 19:50:16 GMT -5
505-The Magic Voyage of SinbadThe MovieIn the legendary Sinbad’s often neglected eighth voyage, the famous sailor voyages from his Russian (?) homeland of “Copasand” (?) to seek out a mythic bird of happiness. Sinbad’s journeys take him from land to land and even under the sea, before realizing there is no place like home. But alas, ‘tis not a Sinbad tale, for if it were I’d imagine it would be more like Houseguest or Jingle All the Way (I kid, I kid). This is actually a classic Russian fantasy called Sadko, as opposed to the Arabian sailor tales. Blame this on Roger Corman’s importing and redubbing of the flick, which changed tales because it was more likely for an American to know who Sinbad is over Sadko. But hey, at least it’s not The Magic Voyage of Sad ako, where a woman braves rough seas to fall down a well, haunt a video tape for whatever reason, and crawl out of a TV and kill people who haven’t embraced DVD. Taken on its own terms from an ignorant American like myself who isn’t versed in Sinbad nor Sadko, The Magic Voyage of Sinbad features colorful cinematography and is often really cool looking, like the other Russo-Finnish films featured on the show. Unfortunately the story is uninvolving, with a dull main character and a dry storyline that allows for neat stuff to be seen but eyes wandering toward a watch every thirty seconds. For something this kooky, that’s very unfortunate. And ultimately that’s why I don’t care what name this character has. Movie Rating: 3/10The EpisodeThe Day the Earth Froze gave us a peek as to what a Russian fantasy film would look like on the series. Of course they tackled another one less than ten episodes later. Joel and the bots cherish this movie, because it gives them so much to work with. Just as much as Day and thensome. They’re lost in the epic scope, which sends them in limitless riffing directions, and enjoying the cool but goofy special effects, which are just awesome and funny by themselves. And, of course, there is decent mileage given from just pointing out that this movie has absolutely nothing to do with Sinbad. Host segments are mostly forgettable, with Crow’s Sinbad quest being the real standout. But things like the Junior Jester Club and the bearded town council fail to stimulate much laughter (though the latter’s offbeat ending of giving Sinbad silly names does make me giggle). The SOLtie Awards sketch is cute, but goes for an obvious payoff that just isn’t that funny. Still, the episode has a great Invention Exchange, including the classic Chinderwear. If the Rat Pack Chess Set isn’t a classic too, it should be. The descriptions of how each piece moves alone are some of the funniest things in the entire episode. Despite two-thirds dry, and one-third brilliant host segments, The Magic Voyage of Sinbad may very well be the best episode based around a Russo-Finnish movie. I’d have to watch The Sword and the Dragon again to be sure, but as of right now Sinbad is winning by a nose. Episode Rating: ClassicThe DVDSinbad made its way to DVD via Shout Factory’s Volume XX, and the picture blinks an occasional tape flaw but the audio is swell. In the special features department, we get an intro by Trace Beaulieu who seems very keen on the movie and the resulting episode. One flaw is that he references the Day the Earth Froze at one point and they show footage of Jack Frost instead. Since Day wasn’t on DVD in MST form at the time, Shout probably just didn’t risk using clips from it. The only other feature is wraps from the MST Hour featuring Mike as Jack Perkins. Next Time: I’m still waiting for the hubcap breastplate to go into style. So hot.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on May 3, 2016 1:22:55 GMT -5
301-Cave DwellersThe MovieConan the Barbarian was a solid smash back in the early 80’s, so of course every low budget studio in the world had to have one of their own. All you need is skimpy costumes, plastic swords, and a local park! Cave Dwellers AKA Ator the Invincible AKA The Blade Master is a sequel to Ator the Fighting Eagle, in which heroic Conan wannabe Ator helps Mila, the daughter of a prehistoric scientist who has discovered a “Geometric Nucleus,” which is kind of works like a barbarian’s nuclear warhead. Together Ator and his trusty Thong…er, sidekick Thong help Mila to rescue her father from war monger Zor, and square off against many dangers along the way. Never thought I’d see a barbarian flick with Cold War undertones (there need to be more sword and sandal movies with nukes in them), though Cave Dwellers is harmlessly doofy stuff. I can’t be mad at a movie like this, even if it knows exactly how lousy it is. This is one of those movies you watch with friends, get drunk to, stop paying attention to what story it might be telling and just stare at Lisa (NOT Jodie’s sister) Foster’s chestplate/hubcap for no other reason than it’s there. Obviously I’m not alone in thinking this. Somebody must have rented this movie, or even gone to theaters to see it. Not only is this the second Ator movie, it was followed by two more, Iron Warrior and Quest for the Mighty Sword. I haven’t watched any of the others, but I can tell you that I wouldn’t be against it. I’ve watched worse. Willingly. I just need enough alcohol and pizza for the job. Movie Rating: 4/10The EpisodeI’d hesitate to say that this show had never had a movie that seemed tailor-made for them before Cave Dwellers. After all, what is Robot Monster or Godzilla vs. Megalon but a gift from God? And the Sandy Frank films are so irresistible that MST did them twice! However I would make the argument that Cave Dwellers might be the first movie they’ve done that works in their favor quality-wise while seeing them just confident enough to know exactly how to approach it. There is never a moment in this movie where they don’t sound like the movie isn’t giving them what they need to work with, and laughs come at a steady flow with more than a few bits of hysteria on the road there. They love this movie. They love the absurdity (the hang glider, “Gomez, I’ve invented the wheel!”), the sets (“TIRE TRACKS!”), and the actors “How much Keefe is in this movie?” “Miles O’Keefe!”). Even something as simple as “You idiot, we don’t even have a doe license!” comes off as a brilliant, precision gag (it also helps that I come from a family of proud hunters). Host segments are wonderful, Tom Servo’s odd fez aside (why is he wearing that thing? Especially since it’s not on his head in the theater). Joel’s foley recreation takes top prize here, while their “extrodinary names to ordinary objects” segment is no slouch either. While some of the action fizzles in the opening credits recreation, the credits themselves are a gas. Invention Exchange delights with a literal “Smoking Jacket” and Robot Arm Wrestling, though I find them to be hyperbolic on the film being “the worst” at the end, the pointing out of errors in the film is hysterical. Cave Dwellers is not the first great episode of the series, but it’s the start of the series’ renaissance. It’s a precision affair for them on a movie that works with them instead of against. The theater and the movie do a tango, and it’s wondrous to watch. Episode Rating: ClassicThe DVDRhino released Cave Dwellers as a part of Volume 2, with slightly flawed video featuring a soft transfer and slight tape hits, though great audio. There were no special features. The episode is set to be re-released on Shout Factory’s new Volume 2 set on May 24th. Segments of the Mystery Science Theater Hour are the only special features. Next Time: Jeepers Creepers, where’d you get them peepers…
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Torgo
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-segment with Crow?
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Post by Torgo on May 3, 2016 23:37:55 GMT -5
The rest of Vacation Marathon postponed for the time being. Helping a friend out and it's taking most of my free time.
Stay tuned though! The next one is a favorite of mine!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on May 14, 2016 23:52:46 GMT -5
After my epic fail of a second vacation marathon, I had hoped to get at least one done this weekend. Doesn't look like that's going to happen. Been exhausted and my attention has been wrapped up in other things at the moment. Might make up for it later in the week. We'll see what happens.
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