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Post by Diet Kolos on Aug 10, 2017 7:42:56 GMT -5
Four months later and I still find myself without a computer, though I do desire to get back to my little project. These past few months have re-energized me to an extent and I am looking into other avenues of posting material. Lost Continent is next, if all goes well. Revival reviews are on their way, but from what I have planned out so far, the first one is still quite a ways away. I'm excited to dig in and dissect these new episodes, so I'm sure the wait will be worth it! Once I get up and running again, I have plans for working beyond. I'd love to do Rifftrax, Cinematic Titanic, and Film Crew. Right now those plans are just early stages and I'm mostly concentrating on MST, but we'll see where time takes us. I admire your dedication. And I'm also envious. Even with computer, I can barely push out one review a month.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 1, 2017 12:47:01 GMT -5
Following up on my insane 31 day Rifftrax marathon, I shouldn't be crazy enough to do that again any time soon. How about a 30 day MST3K marathon instead? That's right folks, to make up for my inactivity it's not just going to be Turkey Day all November, it's...
TURKEY-A-DAY NOVEMBER MARATHON!
This month will see thirty episodes of the series, one posted each day right up until December. In this period we will see two seasons completed, one DVD set completed, one hundred episodes surpassed, and...SEASON 11 REVIEWS! At long last ground will be broken on the new season.
And there may or may not be a special announcement pertaining to the future of this thread at the very end. So sit tight, and let's head into Next Sunday AD!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 1, 2017 12:52:05 GMT -5
207-Lost Continent
The Movie
Heavily padded but not entirely dull film features Caesar Romero leading an expedition to an uncharted island searching for a missing atomic rocket. There he finds a bunch of rocks to climb.
Oh and dinosaurs I guess. But mostly rock climbing.
But yeah, the movie gets a lot of flack for its lengthy rock climbing sequences, but once you get past the fact that it’s a sixty minute movie pretending to be an eighty minute movie, the movie delivers a bit of B-movie goods. The stop motion dinos are a bit primitive of the type but it’s fun watching the technique at work regardless. Even still, there might not be enough dino action the satisfy most creature feature fans, though it might be enough to save this film from becoming a bit too tedious.
Movie Rating: 6/10
The Episode
The riffing is a bit laid-back and relaxed during this episode, probably because the movie is a bit “rainy day watch if nothing else is on.” The episode becomes exceptionally fun when stop-motion are on-screen doing their thing and Joel and the Boys let themselves off the leash. But as everyone in the episode is quick to note, the movie features a seemingly endless sequence of rock climbing, which is akin to riffing a brick wall. The movie gives them so much silence to let them riff but barely any material. However the boys seem to play it smart and turn it into a bit of a sketch. By pointing out the tedium in the early host segments the episode builds up anticipation and even a sense of dread. Once it gets there we witness Joel and the Bots slowly becoming engulfed by the sequences to the point they break down because of them.
“Why do we have to watch this dull mountain climbing sequence, Joel?” “Because it’s there!”
Host segments seem to underline that while they’re playing up the tedium of the film, they seem to get something of a kick out of it. They target Hugh Beaumont early on, as Mike appears as the actor in his Leave it to Beaver persona and introducing himself, bizarrely enough, as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He teaches them a valuable lesson and states cheerfully enough “Time to die!” Later on the mock the film’s post-rock climbing sequence where characters stare in awe of the “Lost Continent” while the audience only gets to see their reaction. Joel and the Bots stare outside the window at something “really cool” without showing us what it is. This inspires a contest where viewers send their ideas of what the “cool thing” is, where select entries were read on the air during Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster. The Invention Exchange amuses, as Frank invents a treadmill with wheels that you can use outside. A frustrated Dr. Forrester points out that the user could just walk, but Frank pushes more ideas including a motionless stairmaster that you can climb up and down on (AKA a staircase) and a rowing machine you can use on water (AKA a rowboat). Because of Frank’s ironic brilliance, Joel is unable to show an invention this week (the invention in his hand will be showcased in Hellcats).
In comparison to later MST, Lost Continent might be a bit too leisurely and not enough of a laff riot. I would argue that the leisure works well for the movie they’re watching and adds to the charm of the episode. It’s not a great episode, but like the movie itself it’s a fun watch during a rainy day.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Lost Continent hit DVD stands in Shout Factory’s Volume XVIII collection. Unfortunately the transfer elements to this episode were damaged at some point and the video has huge flaws present, largely during the Invention Exchange segment, while staying with the episode a to a lesser extent as the episode goes on. Audio becomes a bit flawed with certain tape hits as well. Lost Continent is quite possibly the worst presentation of a MST3K episode on hope video.
Extras-wise, we start off with an introduction by Frank Conniff. Frank discusses the film, the notable actors (he’s more interested in people other than Romero and Beaumont), and why he thinks it’s good MST fodder. Concluding the disc is a trailer for the film.
Next Time: Potatoes are what WE eat!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 2, 2017 13:03:34 GMT -5
703-Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
The Movie
At long last, the conclusion to Roger Corman’s Deathstalker trilogy has finally arrived! Now we can wrap up the epic story in suitable fashion...until Corman decides he has enough pennies for a Deathstalker IV.
And yes, there is a Deathstalker IV.
I can’t think about that now, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there is a Deathstalker II.
Deathstalker is the sword and sorcery series that makes Ator look like...well not Conan but pushes him into Scorpion King territory at the very least. At one point during the MST episode Mike calls it “one of the most ambitiously bad movies we’ve ever seen,” which sums up the experience perfectly. The movie is bad, knows it’s bad, but is so gosh darn earnest about it that it’s hard to not just shake your head and laugh with it.
The film features a not-so-intimidating villainous wizard Troxartas (say THAT three times fast) seeking two halves of a jewel that will give him power. A dying princess hands off one jewel to “legendary warrior” (AKA main character of two other films that somehow made a profit) Deathstalker to keep it out of the Troxartas’ reach.
The movie is full-on play, not created in an artistic sense, but just wishing to be at least fun to the viewer. That fun is subjective and the film is unmistakably bad, with poor writing and bland, often disgusting characters. It makes the bold statement of “I exist. Take it or leave it.” It’s doubtful many people nowadays give a damn about Deathstalker, but it provided an afternoon killer in the 80’s. That was enough for it.
Movie Rating: 3/10
The Episode
“It’s hard to look menacing when you’re dressed like Maude.”
It’s hard to take Deathstalker seriously, and luckily Mike and the Bots never do. The film is audacious in its silliness and doesn’t give a rat’s ass what you think of it, so the correct tone of the riffing is of course “go with the flow!” They enter the ring with this movie not intending to fight it but rather dance with it, letting it lead and following with stride. This results in a lot of laughs at the movie’s expense, with it’s foul characters (“Go ahead, enjoy my area!”) and absurdly crude visuals (“GUESS WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING!!!!!”), but seemingly no ill-feelings toward it. The experience of Deathstalker is one mostly comprised of joy.
The attitude of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” bleeds a bit into the host segments, as they spend not one but two segments ragging on Renaissance Fairs and having the Bots put on a meager one to bleed Mike’s wallet dry, which Mike takes in stride. They also feel inspired to do a Lord of the Rings spoof in the final segment as Servo attempts to create the One Ring. Meanwhile on Dr. Forrester’s end the host segments grow more notorious, as an ailing Pearl screams “CLAYTON! CLAYTON! CLAYTON!” over and over again. These segments actually seem to amuse me more than they do most, especially when she persuades Crow to read to her from a romance novel (“A little golden man was reading to me from a dirty book…”). The segments might grow grating in how loud and monotonous they are, so be forewarned.
In the end, Deathstalker might be the weakest episode of the seventh season. That’s not really a knock against it because the seventh season was so abbreviated that it was never able to produce a below average episode. For what it’s worth, Deathstalker maintains status as a fun episode that is among the better efforts in the series.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Deathstalker stalks death amongst other things on Shout Factory’s Volume XXXV collection. The episode features great audio and video.
The only special feature is Midieval Boogaloo: The Legend of Deathstalker III, which sounds like a making of documentary but is actually just an interview with Thom Christopher, who played Troxartas. Christopher knows exactly what kind of film they made and argues they even knew on the set, while sharing fond memories of how much fun the movie was to make. His warmth and fondness for the production is both infectious and allows one to look at Deathstalker in a different light. Christopher also name-drops another Corman production he was involved in, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, which went on to be a film riffed on MST’s eleventh season after this interview was recorded.
Next Time: Oooooooh no, they say he’s got to go, GO GO GODZILLA!
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Post by Torgo on Nov 4, 2017 14:02:04 GMT -5
Forgive my tardiness on yesterday's. It was typed up but I was pinned to the wall on time and couldn't post it.
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Post by Torgo on Nov 4, 2017 14:10:42 GMT -5
212-Godzilla vs. Megalon
The Movie
*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*
Japanese kids, don’t do drugs. If you do then another Godzilla vs. Megalon will result, and really one is enough.
This movie is probably what most think of when they think of the Godzilla franchise, for better or for worse. It’s probably pointless to convince people otherwise that the franchise has merit beyond a flimsy premise providing an excuse for a giant rubber suit rumble at the tail end (though that certainly is part of the franchise appeal). I do stress that at least the original film is worth checking out for most cinema lovers. But chances are if you see Godzilla vs. Megalon first then chances are that even if you were to see a superior specimen of this series, such as Godzilla vs. Mothra, the aspects of Megalon would probably stick out more.
I’ve been an avid Godzilla fan for about thirty years now, and I can safely say from the bottom of my heart that this film is one of the worst in the series, possibly topped only by Godzilla’s Revenge.
Godzilla vs. Megalon was born out of a contest Toho Studios held for children to create a new heroic character, and the winner would have their idea turned into a movie. The winning child created Jet Jaguar, a robot that could grow to Kaiju size and fight monsters, not much unlike a cybernetic Ultraman. A movie featuring Jet Jaguar fighting Megalon was put into production, but at some point the decision was made to add Godzilla and Gigan into the mix to hopefully increase box office revenue.
Godzilla’s popularity was waning with the public, though he still got children to buy tickets. Godzilla was even a regular guest star on the children’s Toku series Zone Fighter, and that’s probably the best way to describe Godzilla vs. Megalon, less of a Godzilla movie and more of a feature length episode of Zone Fighter. From my experience, Godzilla vs. Megalon seems to be most highly thought of by Toku fans, those who enjoy the likes of Zone Fighter, Ultraman, Kamen Rider, and Super Sentai.
And of course there are also people who like it because it’s a goofy bad movie.
The storyline features the underwater kingdom of Seatopia seeking revenge on mankind for their endless nuclear tests (because nuclear tests always lead to poopie like this in these movies) and sends a giant cockroach named Megalon to kill all humans. They kidnap a robot named Jet Jaguar to help guide the monster for some reason, but Jet Jaguar gains temporary sentience, grows to monster size, and fights Megalon. The Seatopians call for aid in the form of the space monster Gigan to help destroy Jet Jaguar, but Godzilla comes ashore to bring the ultimate tag team showdown.
The film definitely panders to children quite a bit, with a Saturday morning sensibility. As someone who loves Godzilla and casually watches Toku I can’t really argue with what soft appeal it has. But even when I was a kid I knew there was something not that great about this one. And if myself as a child didn’t like it, that’s some proof that it failed at its ambition.
Movie Rating: 3/10
The Episode
Often cited to be the first great episode of Mystery Science Theater, I find myself disagreeing with the majority. I can definitely see where the love stems from because the final act monster battle has a killer run on riffs, but the episode runs far too ho-hum until that point for me to consider it anything that great. While the riffwork has great lines sprinkled about (“Today Seatopia...TOMORROW BROADWAY!”) I find wanting a little more from an episode that just has Joel and the Bots making engine noises for minutes at a time during car chase scenes. But when the monsters are on-screen we get one hell of an upswing in riffing, ramping up faster as the brawls start. They get a lot of usage out of sports commentary, while giving the creatures personalities of their own as a side gag. It’s a steady parade of laughs that comes a little too late in the game.
The host segments are all classics, with the recreation of an Orville Redenbacher commercial taking top praise. Even the many years after those commercials faded into the last it holds up with it’s deliciously dark writing. The episode is also home to the kooky and bizarre “Rex Dart: Eskimo Spy,” a faux TV series that amuses with its daffiness. Also of enjoyment is the Invention Exchange which finds Joel and the Mads swapping homemade Halloween costumes, all of which are really neat.
The high points of Godzilla vs. Megalon make me wish I thought it was as brilliant as everyone else seems it is. Personally it’s about half-brilliant and a bit of a slog getting to its best moments. But by ending on such a wild high that it whets the appetite for more Kaiju films down the line, including another Godzilla movie climaxing the season and revisiting Gamera the following year. And why wouldn’t we? As Crow so eloquently states in the opening…
“Whenever they test nuclear bombs it’s always the monsters that suffer.”
Let us laugh at their suffering.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Godzilla vs. Megalon was (briefly) released by Rhino via Volume 10. However, they had failed to secure the rights to the film itself and the entire volume was pulled and rereleased in the future with the Giant Gila Monster instead. It’s a shame, because the presentation was great. Video was clear and the audio was solid. This popular episode of the show really shined with an official disc.
The only special feature was a photo gallery of behind the scenes photos. Nothing mind blowing, but pretty neat.
Next Time: Paradin' down the street! Shockin' everyone they meet!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 4, 2017 14:17:35 GMT -5
209-The Hellcats
The Movie
*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*
Season two’s unofficial biker trilogy comes to an end, saving the worst for last. The Hellcats is an ugly movie telling the tale of ugly characters who act determined to make the audience feel dead inside. The storyline involves an undercover cop gunned down, leading his widow and brother (Ross Hagen of Side Hackers anti-fame) to seek revenge by infiltrating the gang he was affiliated with.
Of course when I say it like that it almost sounds compelling. Experiencing it is a different matter.
Hellcats is a long, plodding affair of endless padding. The film feels made for motorcycle gang fetishists who paid to see lowlifes drink, assault each other, make silly faces, and scream “Wooooooooo!” as if they’re doing something worthwhile with their time. Oh and they might ride a motorcycle or two also. Maybe someone wanted to see that.
The movie is quite frankly a big load of nothing. Somebody thought filming random assholes would be entertaining and they made a movie that proved them wrong. Even the main characters infiltrating the gang come off sleazy and boring, giving us nothing to root for except the sweet release of death. The trailer to the film shows off all the lady characters giving the impression that this movie is an all woman show, and the movie can’t even deliver on that titillation aspect to make it worthwhile.
And I turn off the DVD player asking myself if life is really worth living if films like this are going to be what I’m subjected to on the show. But do Joel and the Bots make life worth living again?
Movie Rating: 1/10
The Episode
Barely.
The MST episode of this wretched movie is actually a bit funnier than the reputation it built up would have you believe. The biggest problem is the movie they’re watching is just so...unwatchable. But there’s little wrong with the riffing, which is constantly quite funny. This movie just hurts and it’s hard to take the whole episode in one sitting because of it.
Not helping matters is the well known fact that this episode had a shortened writing period due to the writers being out of town. If I were to guess based on the final product the host segments suffered more than the riffing. The episode does only half of an Invention Exchange, which allows Joel to finally reveal the Sign Language Translator he wasn’t able to show in Lost Continent (which is a neat visual prop) while the Mads just dig out the Hobby Hogs and scream at the camera. Most host segments are flashbacks to previous episodes, making this the official MST3K clip show, recycling segments from The Crawling Hand, Rocketship X-M, and Jungle Goddess. The last two are goodies, though the reuse of the Shatner segment from season one just reminded me of how bizarre it was.
Hellcats is funny at the best of times, but is hard to watch even when it hits those highs. Some might say the writing is to blame but this movie is a boat anchor, and they give it a good try. I laughed, but I feel so dirty…
Episode Rating: Average
The DVD
Rhino released the episode individually, which was probably unfortunate since it’s not very popular. The video transfer is flawed, with a constant tape hit running across the screen during the entire episode. Audio is unaffected.
The primary bonus feature is the film uncut, which is a slog. The full frame picture is dirty and the sound is faded and full of noise. Not a surprise. A trailer is here too, which shows the film in its original widescreen.
Shout later released the episode individually through Shout Select. There were no bonus features.
Next Time: At least it's not an episode about anteaters…
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 5, 2017 13:29:25 GMT -5
822-Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
The Movie
With television usage shifting to internet and streaming, even the major networks at struggling to maintain a footing in relevance nowadays. I can’t imagine how public television is faring, with cheaper, more quaint programing that largely depends on crowd funding to maintain itself.
If this is the crap they show on public television, then maybe it deserves to die.
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is a strange POS...er, I mean PBS movie about the distant future, where a man named Aram Fingal (played by the late Raul Julia) who slaves away bored in front of a computer monitor wishing for something better in life. He hacks his way further into the system where he finds a library of “cinemas” to watch, including the enduring classic Casablanca. Obviously appreciation of the arts cannot be tolerated and Fingal is taken into psychoanalysis. Instead of ridding his love of cinemas by showing him Meet the Spartans, they decide to do the far more expensive process of tapping into his brain and “doppel” him into a virtual body of a baboon...because, why not? But when they lose his body in the bureaucracy and his mind becomes trapped in a virtual world of his own creation.
Nonsensical and confusing, I have to wonder if any of this story made sense to the people who were making it. While it would be easy to give the film a pass in its inanity because of it’s low budget and lacking production values, that might be giving the film more credit than it’s due because of how unpleasant it is to watch.
Fingal is a jerk. There, I said it. The film asks us to relate to him because he hates his job and wishes he were doing something else. The problem is most of us get bored at our jobs, but we push our way through them. Fingal finds a way to waste his company’s time when he should be productive and acts like a droll asshole when he gets caught, and rolls his eyes at authority acting as if he is in the right for what he did. Granted, they treat his act of watching cinemas as that of a crazy man (which is bizarre) and they never really circle the points they should be making against him, but he’s not an innocent in this film. As we get deeper into the film and he starts creating a virtual world around him, he takes advantage of the situation and acts out his wildest fantasies. This is all well and good, but one of the first things he does is sleep with a woman that wouldn’t give him the time of day on the outside, claims he’s bored with her, then tosses her to sidelines. Yes, they’re REALLY winning us over with this main character. I don’t feel a sense of satisfaction when he wins the day at the end because I don’t like him.
Incidentally, my spell check in writing this review keeps trying to autocorrect the name “Fingal” into “fungal.” I’m very tempted to not correct it at all.
The film’s plotting doesn’t really help the film either. Fingal’s body is lost because of a class field trip has children running around in these advanced labs and touch everything. The child in question that causes the mix-up spends his time groping a busty brain dead woman, calls the lab assistant a “retard,” and throws around the catch phrase “Is it...sexy?” (with all respect to Crow, this is the quote of the episode and not “You know you want me, baby!”). As far as plot devices go, it’s very unpleasant and not as funny as the film thinks it is. Once Fingal is in the the system, he tries to screw the corporation from the inside because...meh, it’s something to do? He seems to have a desire to antagonize and bring a villain into the movie by choice, because the movie wouldn’t really have one if he wasn’t acting like an ass just to be an ass. All of this and apparently this film is supposed to take place in a matter of weeks (...I...think…) yet is edited as if it all happens in the span of an afternoon.
Are there any good things about the production? I will say that while Fingal is a vile character, Raul Julia plays him as well as you can ask for. The female lead, Linda Griffiths, is charismatic and shares a screen chemistry with him as well. And while it tends to be an eyesore at times, the fact that this movie was shot on videotape and utilizes primitive pixelated computer graphics almost gives the film a comforting retro vibe that is somewhat charming. But pointing these out is like picking digestible pieces of food out of a garbage can.
Look, watching these movies through Mystery Science Theater we fans find ourselves at a disadvantage because sometimes it’s difficult to follow both the movie and the riffing at the same time. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is more complicated than most films on the series, and asking to understand it while seeing it through this lens of a show is something of a disservice to it. Unfortunately when I do understand the movie, I find that I dislike it. At least when I’m confused I can just drift through it without giving a damn about it.
Movie Rating: 1/10
The Episode
If there’s anything that can be said about this movie it’s that it’s all over the place, and wherever it goes Mike and the Bots never seem to be caught off-guard by it. When the movie gets crazy, they’re the first to point it out. When the concept of doppeling is introduced and Fingal is transported into the body of an ape, Crow sarcastically jabs “Surely this will cure him of his love of cinemas!” They do love to play with this movie’s logic, even going as far to nitpick that the actress playing Fingal’s mother isn’t even the same ethnicity as him. However their favorite aspect of the film is the villain, which the film simply dubs “Fat Man.” At first, they play up the fact that this guy bears a passing resemblance to TV’s Frank (making MSTies around the world squee with joy), but once the movie starts acknowledging the character’s girth it’s just what they’re waiting for. Every fat joke they can think of is now on the table, making references to constant hunger as well as endless burping and fart noises. Public television is also mercilessly mocked, pointing out the film’s rather strangely apathetic and sexual nature for such stations (“Kids are just tuning in to watch Barney…”). They end on a high note, calling the film’s “tech support,” where they desire answers to the many burning questions of the film.
Public television mockery bleeds into the host segments, in which Pearl is faking a public television station and hosting a pledge drive to get suckers to send free money in. Exactly who she is broadcasting to isn’t clear, since last we heard they were stuck in Roman times, however it’s pretty common knowledge that the crew didn’t have much interest in the “lost in time and space” story arc and it seems fitting it just dwindles off in the season finale. The Public Pearl segments are a joy, with the standout being Pearl and Observer’s “Loving Lover’s Love” song. Other segments don’t quite stand out, as Mike tries to calm a chimp, Servo doppels into the Nanite world, and Crow sells T-shirts of his catchphrase “You know you want me, baby!”
Personally I prefer Mike’s catchphrase: “We’re a out of toner!”
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is the low point of the season film-wise, but really ends the season on a high note with the laughs. While personally I don’t rank it as nearly as good as the three all-star episodes that preceded it, it’s definitely an quality episode of the series.
The DVD
Rhino doppeled Overdrawn at the Memory Bank into their Volume 4 collection. Video and audio were both solid, and the only extra was an intro by Mike where he doesn’t quite say anything that substantial about the episode.
The episode was re-released by Shout Factory in a reissue of Volume 4. Video and audio were exactly the same, and the intro by Mike is retained.
Next Time: “What is the name of that imitator? Who gave him permission to pretend to be Hercules?”
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Post by Torgo on Nov 6, 2017 14:24:39 GMT -5
410-Hercules Against the Moon Men
The Movie
Ah yes, the age old tale of when aliens came down from the stars and Hercules was forced to battle them. That was always my personal favorite Greek/Roman myth.
The elephant in the room with Hercules Against the Moon Men is that despite being accepted into MST canon as the second Hercules movie the show ever did, it’s actually not a Hercules movie at all. This movie is actually a Maceste film, who was a popular Italian sword and sandal film character of the period, which had Maceste’s name changed to Hercules for marquee value in the US. Technically this kind of makes this movie a prequel to Colossus and the Headhunters, which is the only other Maceste movie MST ever riffed.
This particular film tells the story of a reigning queen controlled by space men from the moon, who desire human sacrifices in order to resurrect their own moon goddess. Heroic hero Hercu...er, uh Macest...um...Macestules is recruited by the terrorized villagers to put a stop to these foul deeds.
All things considered, despite the science fiction element introduced, it’s not all that different than a typical Herc movie. Bad guys rule, Herc comes in, lifts Styrofoam rocks, seduces royal hotties, and beats people up. In the end it doesn’t really matter whether this is a Herc movie or a Maceste movie, because there really isn’t much of a difference. Hercules Against the Moon Men offers moderate entertainment with a daffy premise no matter what series you identify it with.
Movie Rating: 6/10
The Episode
The one piece of notoriety that this particular film has that the other Hercules films didn’t is the the lengthy sandstorm sequence in the third act, which the Mads dub “DEEP HURTING!” The segment is drawn out, but not quite as bad as the episode makes it out to be (and not nearly as lengthy as the rock climbing scenes from Lost Continent). I don’t really feel it’s worth commenting on when I talk about the movie but it’s impossible to not acknowledge when you talk about this episode, because it makes such a big deal about it. It becomes clear when watching the episode that they’re giving this sequence such a push because it feels as if it was a sequence they couldn’t riff as normal, so they decided to introduce the “DEEP HURTING!” concept to give Joel and the Bots something to mention and discuss during a patchy length of cloudy film in which there’s barely anything to comment on. The result is mixed, as it’s hard to really laugh at intentionally botched jokes where the punchline is ruined by the performer’s forced sobbing. There’s some saving graces at work however, especially as Hercules leans against a stone wall and Crow screams in horror “AND NOW THERE’S ROCK CLIMBING!” which is probably the biggest laugh of the episode.
Taking into account the entirety of the effort, this episode leans toward the column of “pretty good.” The movie is silly and entertaining on its own, and while the riffs hold a workmanlike pace, they just stay in stride with it. While maybe they could have done more with the film, particularly with the sandstorm scene, this is certainly a belly laugh episode for those gloomy afternoons.
On the note of host segments, I have to mention that they feel like they’ve been accidentally jumbled. An early segment sees Joel recreating a scene from the movie where Herc is trapped in between two spiked panels, despite that scene not happening until much later in the movie. That said, it’s a joke about telling an obvious joke, which isn’t very funny. Other host segments fare a little better, with a quality song as the SOL Crew sings their praises of “Pants!” while Crow and Tom flex new muscles. Invention Exchange hardly registers with Super Freakout, though it ends by giving Frank the hilarious line of “I AM the button!”
The “DEEP HURTING!” in this episode is overplayed, but for the most part the experience of “DEEP HURTING!” is slightly ticklish. I find Hercules Against the Moon Men a delight.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Hercules Against the Moon Men was released on DVD by Rhino as a part of their Volume 7 collection. Video looks a tad fuzzy to me but audio is fine. There are no special features.
Next Time: Wizard wiz!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 7, 2017 13:38:55 GMT -5
913-Quest of the Delta Knights
The Movie
Fluffy and harmless (unless you’re actually trying to learn history from this nonsense, then it’s pretty harmful) fantasy stars David Warner in dual roles because...why not? ARTISTIC! Warner initially plays a beggar who takes a slave boy named Tee under his wing. He reveals to him that he is a “Delta Knight,” a secret society devoted to the betterment of humanity. David Warner is murdered by David Warner...no, seriously, Warner’s other character, chief bad guy, which sends Tee off on his own. Befriending an artist named Leonardo from the village of Vinci (nyuk nyuk nyuk, yep that guy) and a prostitute with a heart of gold (among other things in that chest region), they go on a quest to find the treasure of Archimedes.
It’s goofy, it’s lame, it’s cheap, it’s direct to video. That should say the world about Quest of the Delta Knights, and I’m sure even if you haven’t seen it you have a rough idea of what it’s like from that description alone. It’s the type of movie you plug in and tell kids to “sit down and shut up” because the grown ups need to do adult things. I can’t guarantee the child won’t get bored and try and bug you anyway, but this dusty video you found in the cabinet was your best shot without actually spending effort on finding Toy Story.
I’m going to choose to not pick on this movie too much, because it feels like I’m kicking a kitten. There’s really not a lot to say about it anyway. It’s a dumb movie that exists to maintain blank stares from people who aren't thinking about it. Could be worse.
Movie Rating: 4/10
The Episode
Hercules and the Captive Women brought Gypsy into the theater, Last of the Wild Horses brought Dr. Forrester and Frank, and now it’s Pearl’s turn. Only time will tell if Kinga and Max get a crack at the theater work in the future (fingers crossed, I hope they do).
Needless to say this episode is best remembered for being the one where Pearl riff’s the first theater segment. How does she stack up? Nothing against Mary Jo Pehl and her riffing style, as she has gone on to do spectacular riffs with Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax, but here she barely registers. It’s not that she’s bad here, quite the contrary, because she’s quite funny, it’s that her presence doesn't really stand out and by the time Mike returns, you barely even notice he was absent. I couldn’t say the same for Dr. Forrester and Frank in Wild Horses, because that certain geek out factor seemed to flavor their entire segment. Mary No feels a bit like a seat warmer for Mike, which is probably due to the fact that she’s paired up with Servo and Crow and not Bobo and Observer. This choice is understandable, since Bobo and Observer don’t have ideal personalities for riffing, but it doesn’t always feel like a reach toward the stars with this gimmick.
The riff as a whole is quite good. The goofy movie featured is an easy target, they just take aim and shoot. The riffs can get a tad harsh for something so innocent (read: mentally-challenged), but the laughs are steady and the film is constantly giving them opportunities.
Host segments are definite highlights, and they obviously lead off the episode gimmick of Pearl being in the theater. Pearl is unhappy with the pain that Mike is receiving from the movies and wants to witness what is wrong from the inside. Meanwhile Mike pals around with Bobo and Observer with some “guy talk” and gossip. Other segments prove to be just as good, with a song from an all Servo choir and a visit from Leonardo da Vinci (who hates Servo). My favorite segment is the intro, in which Crow breaks down and Mike and Servo are forced to use a “Loaner Crow.” Loaner Crow may be one of my all-time favorite characters on the show with what little screen time he has.
Very few people talk about Delta Knights, which is fair since it doesn’t live up to its gimmick and there are certainly better episodes. However if one were to measure on how much you laugh during an episode versus how well you remember it, In say this one stacks up even if I wouldn’t think to put it on a top ten list. It’s definitely a worthy watch for any fan of the series.
The DVD
Quest of the Delta Knights is unfortunately one of the MST episodes that never hit home video. Shout Factory however included the episodes’ host segments in their “Satellite Dishes” disc from their Volume XXXIX release.
Next Time: Heeeeeeeey! They stole footage from The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
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Post by Torgo on Nov 8, 2017 13:14:04 GMT -5
803-The Mole People
The Movie
*I HAVE SURVIVED WATCHING THIS MOVIE UNRIFFED*
The third Universal International film in a row is a sluggish film about an expedition to find a lost civilization led by John Agar and Hugh Beaumont. Eventually they find it, having branched off into the underground where they’ve become albinos who fear/worship the sun and have turned hunchback monsters into their own personal slaves. They present themselves as gods from the surface world who wield the mighty power of the flashlight, but playing immortal might have dire consequences should they be discovered as frauds.
Not entirely terrible, but lackluster film is mostly something of a “stranger in a strange land” drama with a sci-fi/fantasy twist. Viewers who are used to diplomatic episodes of Star Trek might find themselves at home with this movie, as it very much shares a similar structure to most. The problem is that the film is excruciatingly padded, with lot’s of “rock climbing” in reverse, dinner discussion of cultural differences, and native dance sequences to fill out an eighty minute runtime.
The titular Mole People have an interesting design, but are not Universal’s strongest monster creations. The rubber masks are serviceable, though the flabby humps on their backs make them look ridiculous. And it’s a bit surprising they’re not more important to the story, and only serve as a bit of a deus ex machina to help our heroes escape at the end. So in this aspect monster lovers might be disappointed, though it’s a decent story.
Movie Rating: 5/10
The Episode
One thing I really noticed about this episode this time around is that it really peaks early. The funniest portion of the episode is the riffing on the forward by the professor at the beginning of the film. This strange little lecture was attached by the filmmakers to make the story of the film seem less absurd, but as he shares these strange theories from throughout history (many of which have been proven incorrect) it really does the film no favors. Mike and the Bots have a field day with this segment, lampooning everything as if it’s coming from a crackpot. This section of the film is almost an honorary short in the way it’s presented and it’s delightful.
The following movie can’t live up to that lively opening because of how drab and slow it is. To give credit where credit is due, the riffing is admirable work, it’s just that crossed with this particular film it feels weighted. There are individual moments where I laugh really hard at it (Servo’s sinister delivery of “Oh you never would believe where those Keebler Cookies come from” is a personal favorite), yet at the same time the riffing just gets dragged into the pondering of the movie. That said, I was never bored with it. Even if they feel a tad stuck in the mud with this one at least they liven up the party.
The host segments are mostly filler. The episode is notable for featuring the first celebrity guest star on the series, NFL player Robert Smith. The series would go on to have one more celebrity cameo in Leonard Maltin in season nine before cancellation, then have a whole slew of them in the revival. Smith’s cameo is that of a beefy caveman hunk presented to Pearl for “Lawgiver Daze,” a celebration Deep Ape puts on in honor of Pearl. These segments are fine, though not a laugh riot. On the SOL the segments aren’t any better, with Crow discovers that something ancient once lived on the Satellite of Love (AKA himself) while Mike tries to do a segment based on the professor at the beginning of the film but the bots won't let him. These are largely not funny. Tom’s failed folk song is somewhat amusing, while I do kinda like that Crow’s glowing eyes when he’s pretending to be a “space child” in the opening seem to have the Sci-Fi Channel logo on them. Way to suck up to the new bosses, guys!
Mole People offers moments of great amusement, but is largely a forgettable episode. I can’t complain about much while watching it, it’s just that I find myself largely uninterested in watching it at all.
Episode Rating: Average
The DVD
The Mole People was dug up by Shout Factory in their Volume XXVI collection. Picture quality is spotty, but audio is pretty good.
Extras center on a documentary called Of Mushrooms and Madmen: The Making of Mole People. Host Tom Weaver and interviewees recollect the making of this film and what made it memorable to them.
Also included is a trailer.
Next Time: Space...the final frontier...these are the voyages of ROCKY JONES!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
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Post by Torgo on Nov 9, 2017 16:00:15 GMT -5
413-Manhunt in Space (With Short: “General Hospital: Part 1”)
The Short
Abandoning Undersea Kingdom, season four’s attempt at a serial comeback, MST tackles the enigma of their entire shorts lineup: segments of the soap opera General Hospital. I’m not entirely sure if anybody has ever spoken out on why General Hospital was considered for the short section. Perhaps they were seeing that serials were too monotonous and trying to figure out something else that could be serialized to take their place. Whatever the reason, General Hospital is here, and boy does it suck.
This particular segment features a doctor/nurse love octagon bubble ready to burst, as a nurse plans a party to ruin her crush-doctor’s delusion that he can be with a woman who is engaged to another man. Meanwhile a patient gets bad-ish news.
When I was babysat as a tyke my cousin used to watch soap operas all the time. I don’t think General Hospital was one of them (her shows were All My Children and Days of Our Lives), but I grew to have an intense loathing of them at a young age. Cheap “entertainment” churned out at a pace so fast it was impossible to have any sort of bar for quality, these things were merely meant to be afternoon killers for stay-at-home moms with a case of the mopies and jobless dads who want to see easy cleavage. Seeing this vintage piece from the 1960’s proves that they haven’t really changed much.
The Movie
Segwaying from televised soap opera to televised space opera, Manhunt in Space is three episodes of the largely groundbreaking (believe it or not) Rocky Jones, Space Ranger television series from the early 1950s. While the sets, costumes, and characterizations are laughable by today’s standards (or by any standard to be honest), believe it or not this was one of the most expensive shows of its period way back when. Largely forgotten in the wake of far more popular space travel shows such as Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Lost in Space, and Space 1999, Rocky Jones was something of a stepping stone toward these shows. While I’d be hard pressed to say they wouldn’t exist without Rocky (old Buck Rogers serials probably had more impact), it has it’s place in history and probably should be recognized for what little it did accomplish.
Manhunt in Space features Rocky Jones, sidekick Winky, shapely navigator Vena, and token annoying child Bobby on the hunt for space pirates. These pirates serve a vicious and beautiful alien Queen, and the Space Rangers will do anything and everything they can to stop them.
Simplistic and goofy, I don’t have it in my heart to hate something like this. In fact, I kinda dig it. This is the sort of retro nonsense I like to see on the show, and watching it can be just as fun as making fun of it. If you’re disappointed that I’m not tearing this ripe slice of stupidity apart, I don’t know what to tell you. My eyes clamor for more. And thank god there is more coming up.
Movie Rating: 8/10
The Episode
In theory soap opera’s are ideal for riffing. They’re melodramatic, feature little humor, and hold large amounts of dead space for commentary to fill. As such, the riffing on General Hospital is good, and they pin this thing to a wall and pretty much ribbing it senseless. If I were to cite a problem with it it’s that little-to-nothing happens in the segment, leaving the audience a little mystified as to what the point of it was.
Playing better is the feature. Manhunt in Space may not be as loathsome as General Hospital, but it is just as open for making fun of. Only in different ways. General Hospital ramps up the DRAMA so hard that you can’t take seriously while Rocky Jones you can’t take seriously at all. Even not taking into account how goofy everything looks in this movie, when it goes into rip-roaring action and adventure the movie just doesn’t seem to have a concept of choreography. Sometimes characters are caught in little instances where their movements just look foolish, allowing the riffers to add a form of dialogue that suits it beautifully. One of my favorite instances is when a double agent is cornered, looks around the room for a way out, zeros in on a chair, and just flings it. This scene is so delightful on its own that it was used for the stinger to the episode, however in the episode in question Crow pipes up “I was just...looking for...THIS CHAIR!” which enhances the moment so beautifully it turns from a simple laugh to a sidesplitting moment. The one dimensional characters are also under fire, especially co-pilot Winky, who just lights up Joel and Bots every time he is onscreen. However there is a bit of a missed riffing opportunity when nobody seems to recognize the actor as Spanky from Our Gang/The Little Rascals. But who can blame them considering he’s all grown up now?
The Winky abuse continues in the host segments, as Winky makes a memorable visit to the SOL (played by Mike) in what is a truly classic host segment. Other host segments involve goodies like the bots re-enacting the soap opera, playing with SPACE-MODIFIERS, and Servo discovering he’s color blind. Invention Exchange is a bit of a miss, though the Mads’ bean bag pants are the better of the two presentations. Joel’s recycled paper clothing just isn’t that funny.
All things considered, Rocky Jones is a pleasant presence on Mystery Science Theater. So much so that there’s another coming up. Does Crash of the Moons live up? We’ll find out when we get there!
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
Shout Factory released Manhunt in Space on Volume XIV. Audio and video were both solid, though in a rarity for Shout Factory there were no special features.
Next Time: She’s old...she’s old...she creaks...she pops…
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
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Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Nov 10, 2017 13:24:26 GMT -5
518-The Atomic Brain (With Short: “What About Juvenile Delinquency?”)
The Short
Dated short about an old man getting his hair messed up by a gang, which leads to talk about youth restrictions in the town. The innocent teens of the high school feel this is unfair and try to plea their case to the town council. They are asked if they have a solution to this problem.
That shuts them up. Curfew is put into effect. The end.
Initially meant as a discussion piece for teenagers about how to hypothetically solve a problem that might not have an easy or ideal solution. Juvenile delinquency itself is a tricky subject itself because what they’re debating is on the basis of controlling individuals by controlling an entire populace. It’s not all that different from the gun control debate.
What would I do? Well I hate teenagers, so the hell with all of them. Lock them up until they’re 21 unless they’re going to school. That’ll solve your problem.
The Movie
Initially titled Monstrosity, this unpleasant movie tells of an old woman who longs to be young and beautiful again. She enlists the help of a mad scientist to transplant her brain into the body of one of three beautiful house servants she has just hired. And to transplant the brain of her cat into another one because...why wouldn’t we?
This is trash. This is really all that comes to mind when I watch this movie. It’s best aspects are an interesting premise and it’s gritty tone, but it’s all for naught. The minute any character states any form of dialogue this movie just falls apart. And it falls apart double time if said character has a hilariously bad accent. The film’s pace is sluggish and without feeling of a direction toward any sort of conclusion.
And my god is it ugly. This movie is just hard to look at, and not entirely because of direction and cinematography either. The characters are cruel and hateful, while three innocents are taken in and destroyed by their awfulness. There’s really one thing in this movie that I think describes it in a nutshell, and that’s the character of Bea. She is portrayed as the most naive, cheerful, and beautiful of her group, but at one point she gets barely scratched on the face. This leaves her HORRIBLY DISFIGURED for some reason, and in the climax she dies horribly in a fire as if she was not meant to live anymore, just like all the other non-beautiful people who died during its runtime. That’s the moral of the story folks, if you’re not beautiful you should die.
Movie Rating: 2/10
The Episode
The crew has a handful with trying to make The Atomic Brain funny. It’s such a dour, cynical, and just gosh darn unhappy movie. Sometimes it’s tempting to go with it and go dark with the riffing, but they decide with this particular movie it’s best to counterweight it. There’s a goofy nature to the riffing in this episode, an almost admirable good-natured spirit that lets this bleak movie know that it’s gonna take more than this to get them down. They search every nook and cranny of this movie for something to shed some light on its darkness, from odd music choices (“She’s old...she’s old…”) to hilariously bad accents (seriously, that “British” lady earns every riff she receives). While I don’t quite think it’s enough to save this crazy movie, I really have to give them an A for effort. There are more laughs than expected, but it’s still a slog to watch this thing.
The highlight is the dated Juvenile Delinquency short, which is just so overbearing with its drama and direction that you can’t help but laugh at the short all by its lonesome. The cheeseball plot developments, bad acting, and overall bizarre scenarios are taken aim at and they mostly hit a home run. I personally love the old lady who gets gang members to stop cold in their tracks (prompting one of my favorite riffs of the series “This is my turf now!”).
What About Juvenile Delinquency? was reriffed by Rifftrax many years later. It definitely paled by comparison.
The host segments are a low key batch of losers mostly. Weather Servo 9 is the high point, as Servo upgrades himself into a weather sensing device for some reason and enters the vacuum of space. Not a laugh riot, but funny enough. Other than that, Magic Voice’s chat with the narrator of the film is a great concept poorly executed and Mike’s chin puppet is pure filler. The Invention Exchange continues to die a slow painful death, this week instead of an invention the Mads and the Bots just dress up like each other and mock one another. It’s really not that funny.
The Atomic Brain is pretty much a swing and a miss. There’s a godawful movie drowning almost strong riffing, a great short, and crappy host segments. This one just doesn’t quite come together.
Episode Rating: Average
The DVD
Rhino released this episode in their Volume 3 collection. It features good audio and video, however the copy they used features the stinger cut from the episode. It did feature raw unused take footage as an extra. Out of all the bonus footage on Volume 3 this is the weakest, probably due to the fact that these host segments just aren't very good.
Shout Factory re-released the episode twice. The first was on a single disc through their online Shout Select program. The episode had its stinger restored, but there were no extras. The second was on their re-release of Volume 3, which featured spotty video but the stinger was also restored. The bonus footage was also included.
Next Time: Nana nana boo boo...oh wait, wrong episode…
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
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Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Nov 11, 2017 13:57:08 GMT -5
906-The Space Children (With Short: “Century 21 Calling...”)
The Short
THE FUTURE IS HERE! And by future I of course mean the latest in phone technology. Touch screens and apps and data and…
Oh wait...well these new portable flip phones can…
Um...guess not...these wireless…
Ugh...these touch tone dials…
Well crap. What DO we have? Oh. We can turn the sprinklers on with our phone. I guess that’s something.
This promotional short obviously was made to sell telephones and advertise new ways the technology could be improved over time. I’m not certain if any phone back then has ever turned on an air conditioner (though there’s probably an app for that now), though certain things promised in the short have come to pass. But mostly it’s just a dreary and dull look into the world of tomorrow from the point of view of yesterday.
The Movie
From Jack Arnold, director of such classics as It Came from Outer Space, Creature from the Black Lagoon, and The Incredible Shrinking Man comes a science fiction film that is...that is...well...is...WATCHABLE. Yes, let’s go with that.
Starring The Screaming Skull’s Peggy Webber and co-starring This Island Earth’s Russell Johnson (yeah, the Professor, that too) and former prolific child actor Jackie Coogan (yeah, Uncle Fester too if you want to simplify his career), all playing adults and not Space Children. But this movie is about THEIR children who...aren’t from space either. What the hell, movie? But these children are controlled by SOMETHING from space so by association they are clearly Space Children.
These Space “In Name Only” Children find some sort of jelly alien thingy that gives them omnipotent powers that allows them to screw around with nukes. Speaking of omnipotent children, one of the kids in this movie looks and talks exactly like Bill Mumy of “It’s a Good Life” Twilight Zone fame. In fact I always thought it was. Putting more research into this film now I was shocked to not only find Mumy’s name was never credited for this movie, but he was only four years old when it was made (far younger than the kid I mistook him for). I’m kind of convinced even the guys at Best Brains thought it was him too, since they made a “cornfield” reference when he was onscreen.
That was soul shattering. And damn that was epic digression.
As for the movie itself, it’s mostly fine. It’s sluggish and not that interesting in its presentation, but it has a neat story and charming 50’s cheese acting. There’s nothing really here to hate, though there’s not a lot I can praise. It’s just a drab movie with a preachy ending about ending nuclear war and giving peace a chance.
Until you realized that the aliens destroyed our nukes so they could come down and CONQUER US ALL!
Movie Rating: 6/10
The Episode
It had been so long since MST had delivered a short that to see one now is kind of startling. Since it was early season seven when we saw our last one, The Chicken of Tomorrow, and now that we close in on the halfway point of season nine, I guess you could say it’s been two seasons since we saw one. Bear in mind that season seven was ridiculously abbreviated at six episodes and nine is a conservative thirteen. Still, we had thirty-one episodes during that time and the streak has finally been broken.
Speaking as someone who became a fan during the Sci-Fi era, a short on the series was an entirely foreign concept to me when I first saw this episode. I didn’t quite understand it at first, because the TV listings said the episode would be Space Children and they were showing some movie called Century 21 Calling instead. Then the short ended and the real movie started.
“Well, THAT was weird,” my thirteen-year-old self told myself.
I don’t think I came out of this episode with a strong impression on shorts. Century 21 Calling is funny, but not a very strong offering. While the short lacks dialogue for a good portion, allowing riffs to flow, it’s just feels dull and dry. It has also been overshadowed by the other two shorts that aired during the Sci-Fi era, which are much funnier.
When we get to the movie they are faced with something that also feels a bit sluggish, but they are in full play mode. It’s hard not to be with goofy 50’s sci-fi, and at the very least Mike and the Bots never seem bored with the film. They get quite a bit of jokes at the expense of multiple sitcom stars featured in this movie, with more than a few references to Gilligan’s Island and The Addams’ Family on the table. According to Satellite News the lack of recognition of Mr. Drysdale from The Beverly Hillbillies is a knock against the episode, though I don’t think it hurts the episode at all. There are already an abundance of this type of riff, so lack of overkill is a good thing.
Host segments are a mixed bag. They get stronger as the episode goes on, with an alien trying to take Servo’s nuke being the highlight of the episode for me, though Crow’s Jackie Coogan fashion show is pretty funny as well. Servo’s kissing booth is a middle of the road “I don’t really know what to make of this” segment, while the big clunker of the lot is Mike imitating the guy from thee short.
Despite uneven host segments and a mostly filler short, I find Space Children to be something of a delightful sleeper episode. It flies under my radar a lot, but damn those movie segments are enjoyable when they’re on the screen.
Episode Rating: Good
The DVD
The Space Children has not seen the light of day on DVD, but it is possible to own a percentage of it. The host segments are included in Shout Factory’s Satellite Dishes disc on their Volume XXXIX release. If that’s not enough, the short Century 21 Calling was released on The Killer Shrews disc of Rhino’s Volume 7 collection.
Next Time: Open that champagne, folks! I’m popping this thread’s eleventh season cherry!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
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Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Nov 12, 2017 13:30:33 GMT -5
1111-Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II
The Movie
Every once in a while there is a great movie that is tainted by a subpar sequel: Jaws, Rocky, I’d say Star Wars but that would be me presuming there was ever a great Star Wars movie… Now I’m forcing myself to wonder if it’s possible to taint a bad movie with an even worse sequel. I never thought the sequel to Wizards of the Lost Kingdom would stir up such contemplation but here we are.
As bad as the previous film was, it was ambitiously bad. It had epic fail special effects, epic fail creativity, and an epic fail storyline. Suck all of that out of your movie and you get Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II, a lazy lump of a sequel if I ever saw one. The movie tries to be absolutely nothing. It doesn’t even try to be a sequel to the last movie. There’s only a loose connection in the fantasy setting.
The storyline has three lords taking over the land, leading an overweight and lazy wizard to train Melvin from Tremors to be a new one in his stead. They go on a Lord of the Rings lite quest where they meet fierce warriors like David Carradine, his belly-dancing wife, Diet Xena: Warrior Princess, and some horny guy who disappears after being introduced and reappears in the final battle. They march into the kingdoms searching for a magic sword to destroy the evil lords.
Something that’s almost equally charismatic and unsettling about this movie is it’s snark. Characters are always cracking wise (well, they don’t really sound wise doing it) and acting in a goofy manner to keep some sort of personality in the picture. It feels like nobody is taking this film seriously, and why should they? Maybe if it were funnier it would be less painful to watch, but to give credit where credit is due this is probably the one aspect of the film that isn’t phoned in, so I’ll give it points for that. Too bad it feels like a soft core porno. And I’d think better of it if it were.
Movie Rating: 2/10
The Episode
The previous episode, the original Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, was one of the highlights of the relaunch season. Following it up immediately with the “sequel” brings fierce expectations. When I first watched Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II in the initial release I was disappointed. I had hoped that distancing it from the previous episode would improve it’s value to me, and while some of the riffing stands out a little more, this one really doesn’t do it for me. The movie itself offers up goofiness, and Jonah and the Bots run with it, however the film’s lack of caring about itself makes the entire thing feel monotonous. For a movie what’s constantly being a smartass and a show that’s directing much sharper quips right back at it, this one is laborious. I wish it weren’t the case, but I can’t work up any enthusiasm for it.
Probably the most noteworthy host segment of the bunch is the one where the snowball of a small season arc finally starts to make some sort of recognizable shape. After a discussion with Pearl, Kinga decides her best attempt at boosting viewership to the new MST3K is a publicity stunt wedding between her and Jonah. The most amusing aspect of this is that Jonah doesn’t even know about it even by the episode’s end, though it feels like just having a segment each episode building up this idea of Kinga and Jonah’s nuptials is a bit like stringing us on. In the past MST would confine arcs like this to one episode, with the sole exception being the chase through time and space in season eight (and even those weren’t exactly leading anywhere). On the plus side, Kinga’s megalomania has been one of my favorite attributes of her character and getting married to boost both her stature and ego is deliciously in line with her character.
Other host segments involve a rainy day in space (huh?), Jonah and the Bots making a training video for a fantasy world bartender, and Jonah trying to counteract this bad movie with good movie suggestions. I didn’t really hate any of them, with the exception of the “You might be a bad wizard” Jeff Foxworthy parody, which is a lengthy run on a lame joke. The Invention Exchange features GIF Notes (which is cute) and Punt Bunnies (which made me laugh).
Overall it’s painful for me to give this one such a lesser grade when I loved the previous episode so much, but as much as this movie is lesser of it’s predecessor so is this episode. There are laughs, but the magic of the wizards just isn’t there. Thank god there isn’t a Wizards of the Lost Kingdom III.
Episode Rating: Average
The DVD and Blu-Ray
While not yet released in public retail, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom was made available in physical media form via Shout Factory's Season 11 (#WeBroughtBackMST3K Collector's Edition) which were rewards through through season 11's Kickstarter campaign. The discs came with the option of DVD or blu-ray, of which I optioned the blu-ray. The video and audio are both fantastic, while I imagine the DVD's look great in standard definition. There are no extras, however it shares a disc with the following episode, Carnival Magic.
Next Time: MY episode! I licked it, it’s MINE!
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