Unrealistic Reality

[crowschmo]

I've seen this question on Quora.

What have you seen in movies that is completely unrealistic?

Some for me:

Battle scenes. When there is a raging battle going on, and some of the main characters have time to converse, and have poignant emotional scenes with loved ones, brothers-in-arms, whatever, and can just talk to each other and cradle someone in their arms while the fighting continues around them and NO ONE from an opposing force interrupts this sob fest to, you know, KILL anyone involved in said scene. No swords, arrows or bullets get through. No one charges at them, no explosions rip them to shreds. It's just, you know, their own little bubble universe to have time to say goodbye, little we time.

Fighting on top of MOVING trains. Just, no. Yeah, you can leap from one car to another like you are ballet dancing on a stationary stage, punch people, get punched, get up like you are on stationary ground. Sure. You won't slip and fall off. Those cars won't whiz by underneath you. Sure.

Even worse: fighting on moving space ships. Like Spock and Khan in the reboot second installment of Star Trek. Wow. Really? Not logical.

Really crappy CGI of like, The Hulk or monsters and the like, where this huge being is gracefully leaping thousands of feet in the air and landing gingerly, bounding from one location to another, no sign of gravity anywhere. Just stop it.

I'm sure I'll think of more.

You?

[crowschmo]

People who fall from pretty great heights, with maybe, like an awning to "break" their fall - yeah, right - and just get up and continue running away or chasing someone. No injuries, barely scratched, maybe the slightest touch of blood.

Yep. No internal bleeding. No collapsed lungs. No getting knocked out. No broken ankles or knees or even noses. No bashed in skulls. No metal or wood through a major artery or eyeball or what have you. Barely a bruise.

This also works if one falls through a floor and crashes through a ceiling to the floor below.

Falls from a window onto a car. OW! My back - oh, I'm good, I'll carry on.

Even from a window into a pool. No broken neck.

Now that's realistic, kids, right?

[mylungswereaching]

Some of those things aren't impossible. Just almost impossible. The kinds of things that if you tried it 1000 times you'd be dead or in critical condition 900 times, seriously hurt 99 times and okay once. Possible but unlikely.

Mine is the insanely helpful witness. There's the old version and the new version. I remember a Hawaii 50 episode, (the old one) where a crime case went something like this.

McGarret. "What did the witness see." "Not much, didn't see his face. Average height. Average Weight."
McGarret to crime lab guy. "What evidence did we find?" "There were some tire tracks, but there have been almost 1,500 of this type tires sold on the island in the last 10 years."
Danno. "We got lucky boss. The second place we looked the manager remembered a suspicious looking customer who matched the description who came in around 5 years ago. He just happen to remember the guy's name and address."

The new version is the computer that can narrow it down from millions of people when entering in women, mid twenties, brown hair, blue dress on Tuesday. And the tech says we've got her. It's okay on Supergirl but it's LOL on a regular cop show.

[crowschmo]

^^^Right?

Another thing in that same vein is the ever popular "zoom in" or "enhance" on CCTV footage. Most of that stuff is grainy at best, but they can zoom in and get a perfect image of a suspect's face or license plate number or whatever.

[mylungswereaching]

Or the DNA test that takes about 45 seconds. Although I can live with that one. It just speeds up the story a little.

It's one thing to mess around with time a little its another thing to completely ignore reality. In one of my favorite books the good guys take 2 days to drive to the bad guy's house and a day and a half to walk back. I let it go because it makes the story flow better.

[crowschmo]

Kids who save the day and know EVERYTHING better than adults and don't just crap their pants and curl into a fetal position in the corner. Nope. They're smarter, braver and can get out of any situation without help from someone who's been at this whole life thing for 20 more years.

If something is well-written, or acted, I don't mind this to a POINT. (Edit: After all, I do like Stranger Things). But when every adult on the planet is just an incompetent boob, and the kid gets no other input whatsoever, it's a little tiresome.

[crowschmo]

I was re-watching earlier episodes of The Walking Dead, and, well there's a sh*t-ton load of the unbelievies in that one. Aside from, you know, dead people walking. This kind of show lends itself to suspension of disbelief, but there are some things in it that other, more "realistic" shows are guilty of as well.

Like: No, you can't crawl under a car and hide. Unless you're really thin and FLAT. There's not enough room to just "scooch on under". You'd get stuck, you wouldn't get all the way underneath in time, someone walking a certain distance towards you WILL see you.

Another thing: People who talk "privately", like, TWO FEET away from someone they don't want hearing the conversation. Nope. Uh...I HEAR YOU! YOU'RE NOT THAT FAR AWAY! The TV show Psych made fun of this one in an episode. When two older, retired police officers turn their backs on them and start talking low and Shawn and Gus can hear them, they say something to the effect of, "Do WE sound like that when we do that?"

[crowschmo]

People being fine and not passing out or dying from smoke inhalation when they are in a fire. They're just in there having a convo, you know, nothing too inconvenient to stop that from happening. They may squint on occasion, sure, fair enough, may even cough - there you go - but, nope, they can just keep on a-talkin'. (Or fighting, or finishing up what they're trying to accomplish).

And the fire only spreads when it's convenient for the characters for it to do so.

Not: You're in a raging fire, your skin is crackling from the heat, you can't see, you're losing consciousness from smoke, the flames are spreading and sh*t is collapsing around you.

Nope, it's all good. You can just dodge your way out of controlled burning like it was a kiddie obstacle course.

Last week's Fear the Walking Dead made me think of this. They were in an exploding oil field for sh*t's sake. But, no - they ducked into a building for "safety" and the explosions and flame spreading conveniently stopped short of engulfing them while they waited - in a building with fire in it - for help, and June was able to argue with Virginia for a solid 10 minutes or so and even had time to cut off her Walker-bitten hand.

That's what you call friendly fire.

[mylungswereaching]

I just finished watching an Australian show Offspring on Netflix. It's main character is an Obstetrician (I absolutely loved the show).

I noticed two things. First was that the characters looked like regular people. Their skin wasn't perfect. When they showed a woman giving birth, she was covered in sweat and most of the time her hair was all stringy by the end. In American TV, people always look perfect. If a character swims for 20 miles through an oil slick they look perfect unless the plot dictates that they look worn out.

The other thing is that there are consequences. This show shows babies being born fairly often. And once in a while a baby dies. The next scene is the doctor sitting in her office filling out government forms. In American TV show, the hero can kill twenty people and do millions of dollars in damage and the biggest consequence is their boss mildly complaining. Main characters can get away with almost anything in American TV.

[crowschmo]

I see a lot of comments online of men complaining about women characters and it's so hypocritical.

Men characters who fight can dodge five million bullets, take on twenty guys at once, fall from great heights and have nary a scratch, fight on moving trains. Suspension of disbelief - all good.

A woman punches a dude and knocks him out - WwwAAAaahhhHH! That's not realistic! That could never happeEEENNNnn!

Right. Only women characters have to be "realistic."

I saw a lot of hateful comments about The Walking Dead back in the day when Tara was still on. Guys were so nasty about her - because she got FAT. They swore up and down it wasn't because she was a woman, or because her character was a lesbian or because of her looks, her being fat - no it was because it wasn't REALISTIC. On a friggin' zombie show. WaaHhh! No one would get FAT in a zombie apocalypse! Meanwhile, there was an actual character named Fat Tony. No complaints. Eugene was fat. No complaints. Abraham was big and muscular - oh, and FAT - no complaints. Realistically, people wouldn't be big, powerful, pumped-up dudes in the apocalypse - they would be well-toned, yes - but THIN. Like people living in the wilds are and get. But that didn't need to be realistic.

But, no. Corpses walking around, bullets never run out, everyone gets clothes that fit and can still look somewhat clean, people can smash zombie skulls in like melons, no problem. But - waaahhh! Women can't get FAT! (They didn't complain as much when a character was already fat, a couple of those women at Alexandria whose names escape me). But because Tara "used to be" pretty, then got fat. All of a sudden she's a "c" word and was hated. I didn't hear any flak before her body lost it's appeal for these dudes.

Never mind the fact that the actress in REAL life had been pregnant and it just took a while to lose the baby fat. Nope, she "wasn't realistic" and they couldn't suspend their disbelief because "reasons".

Grr.

[crowschmo]

Bullies.

In movies and TV shows. Re-watching some of Stranger Things made me think of this.

Sometimes a show or movie will create bullies who wouldn't last two seconds in a real high- or middle school. Like the two who bullied Mike, Lucas and Dustin. No. Troy and his friend would get the snot beat out of them in a real life setting. Not scary at all. Almost just as puny as the main characters. I know, to Mike and co. it may seem the bullies are tougher 'cause the main kids are "nerds", but it was implied that Troy and whatever his friend's name was were bullies to the whole school pretty much. Or at least to "weaker" opponents. But those two were nothing special compared to the other kids at that school.

That happens a lot. Sometimes a movie or show will do a realistic bully who seems like the sort everyone would stay clear of (it could be all posturing, too, whoever is the best at it, others just give them a wide berth), but a lot of times it's just - nope. No one would take that kid seriously and someone bigger would just pop him/her in the face.

[crowschmo]

High school, and sometimes college, basketball teams in some TV shows and movies (I think TV shows are more guilty of this): the members of the team are just way too short. If it's not a Division I school, I guess it's not so bad, it could be that it's just these schools that aren't big contenders in the grand scheme of the athletic world, but, man - some dinky players on these teams.

I know, they're just going for the lead actors' heights and pick other actors for the team that look like the main actors would fit in, but...