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Post by Blurryeye on Mar 24, 2004 17:38:19 GMT -5
I just finished reading a part of Bruce Campbell's autobiography where he discusses the awkward art that is the hand.shake. It reminded me of a bad hand.shake experience I had on Monday night: The Limp Hand.shake.
I was playing in a big band at a bar and pub, and we were on break. I sat down at a booth next to my friend, a guy who plays lead alto (I play 2nd alto). There were two girls at the table, whom I did not know. I didn't really like to intrude on his flirtation situation, but there was no where else to set my mozzarella sticks.
I figured they were part of this on-campus Christian group that he is a member of, and I was right. This group is notorious for hard-core efforts to convert people. Bible-thumping, in other words. Well, he introduced me to them, and the first one gave a nice bright smile and a slightly firm hand.shake. I usually give a confidently firm grip, especially if shaking hand.s with a man, so he knows that I can take care of myself and I'm no pushover. But with women, the Limp Hand.shake sometimes rears its wimpy head. This happened with the second girl.
She had said she was from Nigeria, so maybe a difference in culture had something to do with it. But when I clasped her hand, I discovered the limpest grip I have ever encountered. I mean, there was no muscle tension whatsoever, like her hand was a dead baby rabbit. It startled me so much that I instantly dropped her hand, as I did not want to crush it in my moderately firm grasp.
How is a person supposed to take a limp hand.shake? Bruce Campbell wrote, "A weak grip, for my money, signifies disinterest. Much like driving, you are what you shake." That's what it said to me, too, so I didn't say a single word to her after that. In fact, now that I think back on the Christian group they were associated with, her hand.shake seemed to say, "I think you're a sinner, and I don't want to touch you."
Hey, that's fine with me, Girl-Who-Has-The-Weakest-Hand.shake-in-the-World!
So, any other stories of odd hand.shake encounters? You band members probably have a few.
EDIT: Darn you, Forrest, for making me re-type every " Manos" as hand.s! Please change that.
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Post by MonsterX on Mar 24, 2004 18:35:57 GMT -5
I can’t stand people who give crushing Manoshakes. You may know the type, usually someone in a leadership position, utilizing his Manoshake to let you know “I’m in charge here.” It also bothers me when people hold the Manoshake for too long. “Give me back my hand!”
Manoshaking is one of those weird cultural things that isn’t really taught, (at least to my knowledge) but is learned through both observation and experience. I always give what I believe to be the “standard” Manoshake. Clasping the hand firmly yet gently, 3 “shakes” up and down are given. Then release. No more, no less.
A curious thing about Japan is their system of bowing. It’s like the Western Manoshake in it’s application, but about 100 times more complicated. You bow a certain way to your boss, an older person, when you enter a store, a close friend, etcetera. A few days ago I saw a few elderly Japanese woman bowing deeply to each other for over a minuet. Japanese friends don’t hug; they will bow deeply to one another for an extended period of time. I just thought that it was kinda cute.
Edited to say – Yes, the “Manos” thing is kind of a pain. I would like to respectfully request that be changed. To the suggestion box! Then again, reading over my post it’s kind of funny, since I wasn’t expecting it.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Mar 24, 2004 21:55:29 GMT -5
Manos
You crazy-go-nuts evil... ! Yeah, why bleep out Manos.
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Post by mightyjack on Mar 25, 2004 0:23:04 GMT -5
Because it makes us Admins and Mods laugh. We're weird that way.
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Post by Blurryeye on Mar 25, 2004 13:58:13 GMT -5
I have not experienced the crushing hand.shake very often. But that's probably because men don't usually do things like challenge women to arm-wrestle or show how much stronger they are than the woman. Bruce Campbell (I'm becoming his parrot, but he's really funny) wrote, the crushing hand.shake is saying, "You wanna hand.shake? Huh? All right, let's go! You son of a..."
I'm glad we have the hand.shake instead of the bow, though.
MightyJack has 1001 posts. He really is Mighty!
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 25, 2004 14:20:40 GMT -5
I dunno about Nigeria, but in Spain they've never encountered hand.shakes, well the girls anyways, for girls they give everyone a kiss on each cheek. (Guys shake eachothers Manos and give the double kiss to girls) for me, it took a little bit to get used to. They asked me if this was different than the US, (thinking of in the south american countries they only give one kiss on the cheek) I was like yeah we shake Manos. So then later they where introducing me to some other people and quickly told the girls to shake my hand, I nearly started laughing and thought "that was the limpest wettest hand.shake ever"
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus 
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Mar 25, 2004 14:26:25 GMT -5
Bruce Campbell wrote, the crushing hand.shake is saying, "You wanna hand.shake? Huh? All right, let's go! You son of a..." Hey I didn't know he mentioned me in his book. After all I was the inspiration. There's a show on Comedy Central called Bonzai that has a segment where this japanese guy shakes hands with famous people. The catch is you the viewer are supposed to bet how long he can shake hands with the person before they let go. It's weeeeeird. |
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Post by Blurryeye on Mar 25, 2004 15:05:08 GMT -5
Well, he didn't actually write, "You son of a..." but I thought it was a good add-on, yousonuva.
Yes, I've also encountered the kissing on both cheeks thing. A friend of mine lived in Brazil for a year, and he said it was hard to get used to NOT greeting women by kissing them on both cheeks after he got back. Now he does that every time I see him (which isn't very often because he goes to school in New Jersey). It's fun, I like it. But he is pretty cute, so I don't know how much I'd like it if some pasty, middled-aged guy greeted me like that.
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Post by CherokeeJack on Mar 25, 2004 15:44:30 GMT -5
You might already know this, but whatever.
Hand.shaking was used back then to check people for weapons (like strapped under their sleave). You went to see the european king, you got a nice hearty hand.shake.
I think that is also why british people drive on the wrong side of the road. When you enterd a town, the way the gaurds were set up, they could see into your wagon easier and see if you had weapons inside. Im not sure exactly how it worked, but that's the rumor.
also, as for the term getting fired. If you lived back during and before the darkages in a celtic or germanic tribe if they didn't want you in their tribe anymore they would set your house on fire. I guess it got the message across. Thats where the term comes from.
blah blah blah.
Manos Manos Manos Manos
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Post by nightfalcawk on Mar 25, 2004 16:00:58 GMT -5
I have not experienced the crushing hand.shake very often. But that's probably because men don't usually do things like challenge women to arm-wrestle or show how much stronger they are than the woman. Bruce Campbell (I'm becoming his parrot, but he's really funny) wrote, the crushing hand.shake is saying, "You wanna hand.shake? Huh? All right, let's go! You son of a..." I'm glad we have the hand.shake instead of the bow, though. MightyJack has 1001 posts. He really is Mighty! Not as mighty as I! with my 1692 posts! |
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Post by Mister Wilbur on Mar 25, 2004 19:12:39 GMT -5
I don't think hand shake has a period in it. It's driving me nuts, that little period, where there shouldn't be one. Why is it there?
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Mar 25, 2004 19:18:05 GMT -5
Hey I didn't know he mentioned me in his book. After all I was the inspiration. There's a show on Comedy Central called Bonzai that has a segment where this japanese guy shakes Manos with famous people. The catch is you the viewer are supposed to bet how long he can shake Manos with the person before they let go. It's weeeeeird. Mind you, 'tis 'Banzai'. And I think it's hilarious! |
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Post by nightfalcawk on Mar 25, 2004 19:19:43 GMT -5
I don't think hand shake has a period in it. It's driving me nuts, that little period, where there shouldn't be one. Why is it there? "Hand" was bleeped out before. |
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Post by nightfalcawk on Mar 25, 2004 20:58:38 GMT -5
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Post by Blurryeye on Mar 26, 2004 14:37:09 GMT -5
I don't think hand shake has a period in it. It's driving me nuts, that little period, where there shouldn't be one. Why is it there? Look at the last sentence of my first post. Try typing "h.a.n.d.s" without any periods. And "hand.shake" doesn't have a space in it, either. |
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