Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Nov 29, 2003 0:13:01 GMT -5
Why not just buy all three books at the same time?? Yeah, or check them out one at a time at the library. I tolorate waiting for conclusions as long as the begining is quality enough to keep me satisfied. I waited six months for the Matrix Revolutions, but hell, if I have to wait 3 damn years for X-Men 3 then why not! Now I have to wait another six months to read the conclusion novel to the latest Enterprise book, Daedalus. But I enjoyed reading it, so im being patient.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Nov 29, 2003 19:51:48 GMT -5
I don't *wait* for things that come in parts so much as I forget about them. That way, when I find out that the next part is out, it comes as a pleasant surprise.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Dec 9, 2003 23:33:23 GMT -5
Switch: Can we get out of here please?
Mike: We gotta find Servo first.
(Tom sneaks up behind them)
Tom: I'm right here, Mike. You know, that window you had was pretty good. Didn't shatter as easily as the average window. Nice, hard, and painful.
Mike: Well, Tom, I guess that's nice to know.
Crow: Don't you want to know who these people are at all, Tom?
Tom: Naw, I overheard. So Mike here is the Two. So Mike amounted to something. I guess I owe you five bucks Mike.
Crow: Five bucks! I he took me out for fifty!
Mike: You guys can pay me later. But right now I'd like to know where we're going?
Tom: Why don't we hide out at Joel's?
Crow: Yeah!
Trinity: Wait, who's Joel?
Mike: Joel was the one on the satilite before me.
Trinity: poopie! There were two subjects in 3000.
Cypher: That's what they meant when they said the Two.
Apoc: So what do we do?
Trinity: We find this Joel before Joe Don and the Hard-Losers do.
Switch: (to Tom) So, bubblehead, where does Joel live?
Tom: I could tell ya', sweet cheeks, perhaps over dinner saturday night?
Switch: (pulls gun to Tom's head) Or perhaps now?
Tom: That's sounds good to me!
Mike: Man you guys love to point those guns.
Cypher: One of our sponsors is the NRA. It's in our contract.
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Post by insomniac1551 on Dec 10, 2003 10:15:33 GMT -5
All of a sudden Charlton Heston walks in...
Nice job on this part, Torgo.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Dec 10, 2003 13:18:55 GMT -5
I wish I had something longer after that long hiatus, but I stop where I'm comfortable with.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 7, 2004 1:38:05 GMT -5
(later at Joel's house)
Joel: Yummy yummy. Nothing better than an ice cold Klondike Bar. So soft and ice cold at the same time. (Looks around, realizing no one's there) It's just not the same. I miss Crow and Servo. Oh why oh why did Gypsy eject me? Sigh. I guess I could make some new robot friends.
(Crow busts the door down)
Crow: New robot friends? What's wrong with us? Damnit Joel, we leave you for 5 and a half years and you turn on us!
Joel: Well, I did visit the satilite that one time.........wait a minute.......Crow? What are you doing here?
Crow: Appearantly catching you in the act of adultery!
Joel: Hold on, Crow. We're not married, how is that adultery?
Crow: It just is!
Joel: Wait! After you landed back on Earth you chose to live with Mike and not me! If anything I should be mad at you.
(enter Tom)
Tom: We got you outnumbered, Robinson. No use in using logic on us.
Joel: Hey Tom, how's it goin'. Is Earth everything you expected it to be?
Tom: Meh. It's overrated.
Joel: Fine, fine. Let me ask you something, did you really have to break my door down?
Crow: We haven't broken anything of yours in years. We thought we'd catch up.
(enter Mike)
Mike: Hey Joel, long time no see.
Joel: How's it going Mike? Did the SOL make a man out of you like it did me?
Mike: It sure did. Before SOL I used to never talk to a woman, you know ask them out and so on. Now I approach them, and they slap me in the face. Life couldn't be sweeter.
(enter Trinity, Apoc, Switch, and Cypher)
Apoc: If you don't mind us breaking up this family reunion, we really need to get going.
Joel: What's going on?
Outside voice: Heh heh heh heh heh...
Tom: The hell?
(they all look outside and see the Phantom of Krankor)
Phantom: You will all bow before me! You scum!
Mike: Wait, I thought we parted on good terms.
Phantom: But you never called! It really hurt me! That's why me and my chicken men will stop you!
Trinity: You know your weapons are useless against us!
Phantom: Yes, we figured that out after the first 200 uses, that's why we borrowed weapons from the Neptune Men!
Switch: Damn! He's got us trapped.
Trinity: This makes no sense. They couldn't have known we were here. Unless......one of us told him......
(Cypher pulls gun to Trinity's head)
Cypher: That's right Trinity. Everyone throw their weapons out the window, or our allmighty leader gets a headshot..................I mean a shot to the head.........
Apoc: But we outnumber you!
Cypher: It's a rule in an action movie, the heroes always do stupid things to save their leaders. Just do it.
(they all toss their weapons out the window)
Trinity: Damnit, Cypher! How could you!
Cypher: They made me an offer I couldn't refuse Trin. You see, while I'm out here risking my life for a battle that we will most likely lose, I could have been at home watching Jaws or Planet of the Apes. So these guys catch me once. And they lay down the offer, I give them you, they give me the inside scoop on all the crapsterpieces being released so I don't have to bother with them. And now the cherry on top. I get rid of the stupid reason we're all risking our lives. I get rid of the stupid legend that we wouldn't even be out here if we never heard it. I kill the Two. (points the gun at Mike........then at Joel) But which one to start with, that's the question...
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 8, 2004 1:29:14 GMT -5
(the Phantom stands outside where his army of Chicken Men arive)
Chicken Man: Are they done yet? I wann kill now!
Phantom: Then open fire.
Chicken Man: But our insider's standing right at the door.
Phantom: Heh heh heh heh heh...
(Inside Joel's house)
Trinity: Cypher, don't do it! It's not worth it!
Cypher: It's too late, Trin. They've got us all outnumbered. If I don't give you to them right away, they'll kill me too...
(Trinity's eyes widen, she looks outside at Phantom)
Phantom: FIRE!
Trinity: Everybody duck!
(ULTRA JOHN WOO SLOW MOTION! The Chicken Men fire and everyone ducks except Cypher. A laser blast hits Cypher dead on. Cypher howls in pain and falls to the ground. Dead. Done. Completed. Kicked the bucket. The Chicken Men continue to fire)
Switch: Well this is a fine mess Cypher got us into. What do we do now? We don't have any guns!
Trinity: Yes we do. (she pulls a gun out of her leather jacket) Mine and Cypher's. (nods head to Cypher's dead body)
Apoc: Wait. You had a gun this whole time? Why didn't you shoot Cypher when he had his gun on them?
Trinity: I forgot.
Apoc: Trinity! You bimbo!
Trinity: Hey! I know I have a gun now! So why don't you shut your punk ass up before I pop one in there!
Joel: Settle down! Fighting will get us nowhere!
Trinity: Shut it! Just because you're one of the Two doesn't mean I won't kick your ass if you disrespect me!
Joel: One of the what? What is she talking about?
Tom: It's a long story...
Trinity: Now before I was so rudely interupted...I think we should give one to Mike and one to Joel. They're the most important.
Mike: I should warn you. I'm terrible with guns. I choke and get trigger happy...
Trinity: Hey, I just warned sleepy eyes over there! Do I need to repeat it to you?
Mike: No ma'am. I'll be good.
Trinity: Here, take mine.
(Mike's neck shrinks down into his torso and the gun starts firing, amazingly missing everyone)
Trinity: Everyone! Get to cover!
(They all run for cover, dodging bullets in ultra-cool Bullet Time. Pretty soon, Mike's gun was empty. Switch runs up to him)
Switch: Would you give me that!
Mike: I tried to warn you!
Switch: Trinity, I think you made a major mistake. There's no way in hell that these guys are the Two!
Trinity: They have to be!
Apoc: Right now, I don't care anymore. (picks up Cypher's gun) I'm getting the hell out of here!
Trinity: Apoc! No!
(Apoc runs out of the house. The Chicken Men all open fire at him resulting in more Bullet Time effects. Apoc takes out a few of them Chicken Men, but ultimatly is shot by one of their lasers. Apoc is blasted about thirty yards where he lands and does not move)
Crow: That could have went better.
Trinity: Sh*t. I don't know what to do now.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 8, 2004 20:17:10 GMT -5
Joel: Well, you know we could try my emegency escape route.
Trinity: Your WHAT?
Joel: Emergency escape route. I had one installed in case of a fire or something.
Switch: And you failed to mention this for what reason?
Joel: I was about to, but then she told me to "Shut it! Just because you're one of the Two doesn't mean I won't kick your ass if you disrespect me!"
Switch: Great job Trin.
Trinity: You know Switch, you can just lick my...
Tom: My I interupt this bickering to ask Joel where it is?
Joel: Sure, in fact, we're right on top of it. (lifts up floor board)
Trinity: OK, everyone down.
Switch: Oh no! You've been leading this mission since the begining! Where did it get us? Two men down and one of them turned on us!
Trinity: Fine. You lead.
Switch: I will! Everyone down!
Trinity: Oh that's brilliant! I never would have thought of that.
Switch: Shut up.
(They all drop down into the dirty tunnels leading to safety)
Switch: Follow me.
(they all fallow Switch for a while until they reach a dead end)
Crow: Now what, Joel?
Joel: Well there should be another trap door right above us.
Trinity: But which one of us goes up first.
Switch: I say one of those useless robots. We have no need for them.
Tom: Why don't you go up, Hotpants! You're the leader, now!
Switch: For all we know, this opens up right where they are standing. We should send a decoy first. And your mouthing off to me volunteered you for it.
Tom: And how exactly are you gonna make me?
Switch: You're going up there. You either go up whole or in pieces. You decide.
Tom: Ha. I'd like to see you try.
(we switch to the other side of the trap door as it flies open. Tom's head shoots up out of it)
Tom: WHOAH!
(his head lands with a thud)
Mike: Tom? Are you OK up there?
Tom: I'm fine Mike. Damn, she's fast. I didn't even see that coming.
Trinity: Is everything clear.
Tom: I don't see anything...
Switch: Great. Let's go!
(Switch climbs up through the door. SUDDEN LASER BLAST! Switch howls in pain and falls back down the hole)
Tom: Of course I landed face down, so if there's something up here, I can't see it.
(Phantom and his Chicken Men surround the door)
Phantom: Heh heh heh heh heh...get ready to die, puny humans.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 8, 2004 22:25:23 GMT -5
(the Chicken Men all point their laser guns at them)
Voice from behind: WAIT!
(The Chicken Men all look behind them to see the doughy, drunk face of Joe Don Baker)
Phantom: What is the meaning of this?
Joe Don: The Agent wants them alive.
Phantom: Very well. Take them captive.
(The Chicken Men help them all out of the hole and point their lasers at them)
Mike: Um...can we keep Servo?
Phantom: Huh? Oh sure why not.
(Mike picks up Servo's head and Joel brings up Servo's body with him)
Tom: Great, not only am I in pieces now I'm gonna die too.
Mike: Well Tom, we could leave you back on the ground for the rest of your battery life.
Tom: Don't bother. I might as well go with you. It'll give me something to do until I die.
Phantom: Now MARCH!
(they all start moving)
Joel: So what's going on, anyway? Nobody told me.
Trinity: Well it all started... (WRITER'S NOTE: In order to not bore the audience with bull you already know, I have decided not to repeat everything so far. Plus, I'm just to damn lazy) ...and that's how we ended up at your house. You know the rest.
Joel: Wow, that makes no sense.
Trinity: I know, but it's the material we're given.
Crow: So what in the hell is an Agent anyway?
Trinity: An Agent is a maker of bad movies who is popular for some unknown reason.
Crow: I see.
Phantom: Quiet back there.
Joe Don: Hey Phantom. I'm starving. Do you have anything to eat?
Phantom: You ate all of ou supplies hours ago. Can't you just wait.
Joe Don: Awwwwwwwwww... (looks at one of the Chicken Men) Mmmmmmmmmmmmm...
(Joe Don grabs one of the Chicken Men by the neck and takes him to the bushes)
Phantom: Ah! We're here! Get them up front!
(The Chicken Men all lead our heroes to Phantom. Joe Don returns with a drumstick in his hand. A shadowy figure in a suit approaches)
Agent: So, you have finnally caught them?
Phantom: Oh yes, Agent. We'd never fail your kind.
Agent: You must be Mr. Robinson.
Joel: Yeah. I guess that would be me.
Agent: And you must be Mr. Nelson.
Mike: I am. Who the hell are you?
Agent: (in a high annoying voice) Yoooooooooooooooooou ahllready knoh whoh I ahm! (He walks out of the shadows to reveil that he's......................Adam Sandler!)
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 9, 2004 12:44:24 GMT -5
Phantom: So what do we do with them?
Agent Sandler: We take them to our base out here, and we kill them at dawn.
Phantom: Why don't we kill them right now?
Agent Sandler: Because I said dawn. Losah!
Phantom: You heard him! Take them to the base!
(they soon arive at a beaten down house)
Mike: Not much to look at.
Joe Don: Our income hasn't really been that good this year. This was the only place we could get with a dungeon in this area.
Agent Sandler: Take them down!
(they lead our heroes to the dungeon of the house)
Crow: Not bad. At least it looks more livable than the rest of the house.
(they hear the door slam behind them)
Joe Don: (from behind the door) See you after breakfast. You two, stand guard.
(he walks away, while two Chicken Men stay behind)
Trinity: Good, Joe Don wants breakfast before they kill us. That should give us a lot of time.
Joel: For what?
Trinity: Escape.
(a few hours later, Joel is almost done reparing Tom)
Tom: Ow! That doesn't turn that way!
Joel: Sorry, Tom. But it's been a while since I last worked on you. Appearantly someone tried to patch up an oil leak with some old gum.
Mike: Um, that was me. I was never really that handy with robot repair.
Tom: Well, that explains why I've been so stiff the last 3 years.
Crow: Yeah, Joel, check me out too. I wanna know what Mr. Fix-It did to screw me up.
Trinity: We don't have time for that. I've got a plan. (she walks up to the barred window in the door) Um, I need some help here...
Chicken Man #1: Help yourself.
Trinity: But you don't understand. You see, my leather is too tight all of a sudden and I need someone to help me loosen it.
(both franticly run to the door and try to get it unlocked)
Chicken Man #2: I'll do it.
Chicken Man #1: No, you been whining for a break all day. Go take one.
Chicken Man #2: Oh no! I'd never leave my post! Go ahead and let me handle it!
Trinity: Hurry! It's soooooooooo hot in here and I need to get out of these clothes!
(The Chicken Men burst the door open. ULTRA JOHN WOO SLOW MOTION! Trinity karate chops Chicken Man #1 in the neck, breaking it. His laser gun goes flying in the air, she catches it and shoots Chicken Man #2 with it)
Tom: Hot damn!
Trinity: (smirking) That's why women are the deadlier of the species. Let's get out of here. (hands gun to Mike) You take this...
(Mike's neck shrinks into his torso...)
Trinity: WAIT! (snatches gun from Mike and hands it to Joel) I think you should take this and I'll take the other one.
Joel: That's a good idea.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jan 9, 2004 20:01:58 GMT -5
Afgncaap5 Ah, so it would.....I still think Ethre sounds cool, though.... I like the name Shinagra. Say it. Shinagra.... Ethre is cool though.
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 10, 2004 2:03:28 GMT -5
(they run down the hall out of the dungeon, until Trinity stops them)
Trinity: Joel, I have only three words of advise right now: Free Your Mind.
Joel: Huh?
Trinity: Watch.
(she starts running, ULTRA JOHN WOO SLOW MOTION!, she starts running on the wall, and flips over)
Mike: Wow.
Tom: Dibs.
Trinity: You think you can handle that?
Joel: Well actually...
Trinity: Save it. We don't have time. Pull your gun. We're going in.
(Trinity and Joel turn a corner. They enter a room full of 10 Chicken Men. Trinity pulls her laser gun and shoots one of them. Cue The Matrix Lobby Shoot Out Music. The Chicken Men all pull their lasers but Trinity and Joel take a 3 of them out before they can draw. Trinity and Joel duck behind a wall as the remaining Chicken Men begin to fire. They blindly fire back from behind the walls managing to take out 2 more of them. Suddenly Joel's gun stops firing)
Joel: Trinity! I'm out of bullets...........lasers................power whatever!
(Trinity spots a gun on the floor near them. She hands her gun to him)
Trinity: Give me some back fire.
(Joel blindly starts firing again as Trinity begins running with more bullet time effect. She begins to back flips heading toward the gun. Joel takes out 1 of the Chicken Men. Trinity manages to pick up the gun, starts firing and takes out 2 more. Silence. The Firing has stoped. Joel steps out from behind the wall)
Joel: Was that all of them?
Trinity: I don't know. I thought there was 10. We only killed 9.
(Just then the last Chicken Man rushes behind Joel and prepares to fire. Suddenly Joel does a back flip right over the Chicken Man's head, and while in midair fires his gun and the Chicken Man falls. Joel stares with a frozen look on his face. Mike and the bots walk into the room)
Crow: Holy crap! How'd you do that Joel?
Joel: I have no clue.
Trinity: C'mon. We have to get out of here.
(Suddenly Joe Don Baker walks into the room)
Joe Don: Not so fast you sons of _______.
Trinity: Sh*t.
Joe Don: (pulls out a gun) You think you can take me? Go 'head on. It's yer........HURK!
(Joe Don grabs his chest and flops on the floor, they all stare)
Mike: Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.
(they all run out of the room and out of the house)
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jan 10, 2004 15:40:53 GMT -5
Extremely interesting. Funny, though.
[glow=blue,2,300]KLONDIKE BARS ROCK!!!![/glow]
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jan 10, 2004 15:43:08 GMT -5
I am now a space chief! [glow=green,2,300]YAY!!!![/glow]
I am no longer under the horrible Sheen brother actor person!
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Torgo
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Post by Torgo on Jan 11, 2004 1:50:59 GMT -5
Extremely interesting. Funny, though. That's pretty much what I'm going for. It's basicly just one long host segment.
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