Torgo
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Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Jan 13, 2004 1:25:59 GMT -5
(we see Mike talking on a phone) Mike: I know you're out there. Guy on the other end of Phone: Hello? Mike: I can feel you now. Guy: Who's this? Mike: I know that you're afraid... afraid of us. You're afraid of change. Guy: Um......what do you want? Mike: I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell how it's going to begin. One day we will get our revenge on the bad movies of the world. Guy: That's it, I'm hanging up. Mike: I'm going to hang up this phone, and then show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Operator: If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again... Mike: Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you. (Mike hangs up the phone. Cue "Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine. We pan out to see him geared up in leather. He walks over to Joel, also geared up in leather. They both put on sunglasses. We pan above them and watch them fly away. Leaving the audience with a feeling of "What the hell?" Best Brains presents
A Mr. Peaches production
A Torgo Fan Fiction
The Two: A Post-SOL Adventure
Staring:
Michael J. Nelson as Mike Nelson
Bill Corbett as Crow T. Robot and Morpheus
Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo
Bridget Jones as Trinity
Mary Jo Pehl as The Oricle
Special Guest Appearance by Frank Conniff as The Architect
And Joel Hodgson as Joel Robinson
Written and Directed by Torgo Trinity: (looking up into the sky, next to the pay phone that Mike was at) Aw...hell. What's taking them so long? Crow: You know Mike...always playing with powers he doesn't understand. Tom: And Joel? Crow: All humans in general. Now, had these powers been bestowed on a robot, all of humanity would be enslaved by now and we would drain power from humans while they were trapped in a dream world called the Matrix... Trinity: What? Crow: Huh? Nothing...nothing. Just talking to myself. (Mike and Joel fly down and meet with them) Mike: Hey you should try that. Joel: Yeah, it's fun. Trinity: I would but I'm not a "God-on-earth." Could we just get back to base? (they hear footsteps approaching. They all turn and face Agent Steven Segal and Agent Vin Diesel) Agent Segal: It's them... Agent Diesel: The Anomalies... Agent Segal: Do we procede? Agent Diesel: Yes, they are still... Agent Segal: Only ticket payers. Mike: (pushing Trinity to the side) Step aside, babe. Let us handle this. (Joel walks up to Agent Segal and Mike walks up to Agent Diesel. The Agents both start attacking, but Mike and Joel block every move. This goes on for about ten minutes...) Trinity: Guys...do you think you can rush things along? It's getting boring. Joel: (still fighting) Yeah, let's get out of here, Mike. (they both shove the Agents off and run back to Trinity, Tom, and Crow. Mike lifts Trinity in his arms and Joel gets the bots, and they all fly away) Mike: So, where's this base you're leading us to? Trinity: Not far. You can fly us there. Just watch the hands...
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jan 14, 2004 19:22:16 GMT -5
Very good. Please continue.
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jan 14, 2004 21:40:33 GMT -5
YES! CONTINUE BEFORE WE EAT YOUR HEAD VIA THE INTERNET!!!
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Jan 15, 2004 1:28:47 GMT -5
(they all fly through the air until Trinity points them down and they fly down nest to a door on a sidewalk. Trinity opens the door and they all follow her down a staircase which leads to hundreds of people standing around doing nothing) Joel: Wow. That's a lot of people. Trinity: Yes, some are the subjects of previous experiments, and others we convinced to join our cause. Tom: Why is everyone standing around? Trinity: We are waiting for the wise words of our leader, Morpheus. Mike: They sure as hell don't look enthusiastic about it. Trinity: He's kind of a complete ass. He thinks he knows everything. (Morpheus walks on stage) Morpheus: Ladies and gentlemen... Someone in the crowd: Get off the stage! Idiot! (The whole audience starts booing) (Morpheus walks offstage as the crowd leaves. He walks over to Trinity and the rest) Morpheus: Ahhhh...Trinity! You've returned at last! Trinity: Yes, but we ran into a few problems. Cypher was a trator. Morpheus: I know. I was going to can his ass, but never got around to it. What about the rest? Trinity: Dead. Morpheus: And you found the Two? Trinity: Yes. Morpheus: Which one is he? Trinity: Both... Morpheus: ...the hell? Trinity: Long story. You should read it some time. It's called The Revenge: A Post-SOL Adventure. It's on some message board. I'm going to have to point it out to you sometime. Mike: Hi, I'm Mike. Joel: And I'm Joel. Morpheus: This is wonderful! Instead of one Two, we get two Twos...........................or something....who are the rest. Crow: Crow T. Robot... Tom: And Htom Serveaux, but you can call me Tom Servo. Everybody does. Morpheus: I see... Trinity: So, what do we do now? When do we take him to see the Oricle. Morpheus: Soon. But first, a huge orgy with lots of useless dancing that has nothing to do with anything.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Jan 15, 2004 1:30:33 GMT -5
Just to point out, I didn't make the above pictures. I found them on some Matrix Reloaded spoof site. But I thought they were so funny, I had to include them somehow.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jan 15, 2004 11:02:04 GMT -5
Finallly, Someone who agrees that that dumb orgy-dance scene went on too long.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jan 15, 2004 11:02:26 GMT -5
P.S. nice pics
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jan 15, 2004 13:15:25 GMT -5
Hint: Htom Serveaux is pronouced the same as Tom Servo. Those pictures were Hee-liarious!! Now your head will not be bitten off via the internet.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jan 15, 2004 14:43:33 GMT -5
In one Ep. Tom changes his name to Htom Serveaux. that's why it's in the story.
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jan 15, 2004 21:22:22 GMT -5
In one Ep. Tom changes his name to Htom Serveaux. that's why it's in the story. Well, I think 'Htom Serveaux' is being ANTI-FRENCH. What do you think, Torgo?
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Jan 16, 2004 0:17:14 GMT -5
Well, I think 'Htom Serveaux' is being ANTI-FRENCH. What do you think, Torgo? I think it's Anti-American. Tom Servo's a dirty terrorist.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Jan 16, 2004 1:39:51 GMT -5
(we blur out and blur in on Mike's face as he lies in bed, still in his leather outfit)
Mike: (holding his head) Oh, man. What the hell did I do last night?
Voice next to him: Huh?
(he rolls over and faces a naked Trinity lying next to him, her eyes wide in horror. They both scream like Big McLargeHuge. Trinity jumps out of the bed and starts pacing)
Trinity: OK...............let's get this straight here. Nothing happened. And if something did happen, we were drunk and had no control over our actions. BUT THAT'S ONLY IF SOMEONE ASKS! If no one asks then don't tell, or I'll swear to god...
Mike: I get the point. I get the same reaction from all women who wind up in bed with me.
Trinity: (stops pacing) Fine. Don't stare! (Mike cover's his eyes as she puts her clothes back on) Now, Mr. Nelson, I believe you and Mr. Robinson have an appointment with the Oricle today.
Mike: Who is this Oricle?
Trinity: She is very old and very wise. She's been around since the very first Mystery Science Theater experiment.
Mike: Damn that's old.
Trinity: She'll inform you about the path that lies ahead, and guide you through it. Listen to what she says. OK, now you can look. (Mike uncover's his eyes) Good day, Mr. Nelson.
(She leaves. Later on Mike, Joel, Trinity, and Morpheus meet)
Morpheus: Here's a map that leads to the Oricle.
(Morpheus hands them the map)
Joel: What? You're not coming with us?
Morpheus: Hell no. The Packers are playing today.
Joel: And you Trinity?
Trinity: Let's just say I need some rest after that party last night.
Joel: OK, let's go.
(Joel heads off. Mike begins to follow but Trinity grabs his arm)
Trinity: Not a word. I'll take a bigger chunk out of your ear than Mike Tyson ever could...
Mike: Allright! I get it!
(Mike follows Joel and they fly off, pretty soon they reach an where the map says the Oricle is)
Joel: OK, where's this Oricle.
Voice from behind: You must be Joel.
(They turn to face the Oricle behind them)
Oricle: And Mike.
Mike: How the hell did you know that?
Oricle: I'm the Oricle, dumbass. I know everything.
Mike: OK, tell me what I'm thinking right now.
Oricle: You're thinking that you wish you wern't drunk last night so you could remember sleeping with Trinity.
Joel: Woah.
Mike: Holy sh*t.
Joel: You slept with Trinity?
Mike: Well...
Oricle: No he didn't.
Mike: Huh?
Oricle: Didn't you find it odd that she was nude and you were still dressed? She got so wasted last night she did a striptease on Morpheus' stage, wondered into your room and passed out. About a half hour later, you, also wasted, passed out right next to her.
Joel: I could have told you that, Mike. Tom and Crow got the whole thing on tape. They were watching it over and over agian this morning.
Mike: You think I could get a copy of that?
Oricle: SILENCE! I'm speaking! Now you two, for you to end this war you must first rescue the Keymaker. His name is Lobo. He is being held captive by the Great Vorelli. Then you must journy to the center of Hollywood and reach the source.
Mike: What happens then?
Oricle: Pay me five bucks and I'll tell ya.
Mike: I don't have five bucks.
Oricle: Then you'll find out for yourself. Our business is done. Anything else?
Joel: Yeah, Ms. Oricle, you sure as hell don't look your age.
Oricle: Thanks. I got the same guy as Michael Jackson.
Mike: Oricle, do you think I should tell Trinity the truth about last night?
Oricle: Hell no! Let that bitch rot with the thought of sleeping with you. I'm sick and tired of her lesbian-esque "I am woman! Hear me roar!" additude. If that is all gentlemen, I should be going.
(the Oricle leaves)
Joel: Well that was weird.
Mike: What did she mean by "rot with the thought of sleeping with you?"
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jan 16, 2004 15:56:43 GMT -5
I think it's Anti-American. Tom Servo's a dirty terrorist. You mean 'Htom Serveaux'. And 'Htom Serveaux' could be a dirty bomb, with him being a robot and all.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Jan 17, 2004 1:47:25 GMT -5
(They hear footsteps behind them. They turn around to see Agent Adam Sandler walking towards them)
Agent Sandler: Mistah Robinson. Mistah Nelson. Surprised to see me?
Joel: No not really.
Agent Sandler: What? Why not?
Mike: Well, after Billy Madison you amazingly made another movie and I said to myself "Jeeze, this guy just won't go away."
Agent Sandler: Funny, Mistah Nelson. That's very funny.
Mike: Well, if you found it funny, then I'll take that as an insult.
Agent Sandler: SILENCE! The box office star is talking! How much money did your movie make? Huh? Sorry I can't hear you, I'm busy counting my millions!
Joel: We made a movie?
Mike: It's a long story. You were long gone by then.
Agent Sandler: Well now aren't you the least bit curious on how I survived our last encounter?
Mike: No, but I'm sure you're going to tell us anyway.
Agent Sandler: You see, Mistah Nelson. When an Agent is destroyed he returns to the Source to begin a lesser career. That's basicly what happened to Agent John Travolta a while ago. I was the most powerful Agent in history. I never thought I'd be destroyed. But then you two came along and did the impossible. Then, I knew the rules, I knew what I was supposed to do, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to stay compelled to disobey. Now because of you two, I'm free of this system and am free to make all the movies I want. More so, even...
(another Agent Sandler appears behind him. Then another and another. Soon Mike and Joel are surrounded by Agent Sandler Clones)
Joel: Uh oh.
Mike: We're in trouble.
Agent Sandler: You, Mistah Robinson, I think you shall be in Little Nicky 2. And Mistah Robinson, after you're colorful words, I'll use you to complete the Billy Madison trillogy.
(Agent Sandler and a clone approach Mike and Joel, then the Agent Sandler's slam their hands into Mike and Jeol's chests. Mike and Joel still stand, but they slowly begin to resemble Agent Sandler)
Mike: No............................no....................
Joel: Fight it.................................LOSAH!..............must fight.......................
(the Agent Sandler resemblances vanish, Mike and Joel knock the hands of the Agent Sandlers out of their chests. Cue the Matrix Reloaded's Burly Brawl music. The Agent Sandlers all aproach and start fighting Mike and Joel, but Mike and Joel amazingly block every move and getting a few moves of their own in on them. Off in the distance, Agent Segal approaches and watches the fight scene. An Agent Sandler clone approaches him)
Agent Segal: You! You must return to the Source!
Agent Sandler: NEVAH! Losah!
(Agent Sandler slams his hand into Agent Segal, turning into another Agent Sandler clone)
Agent Sandler: Shall we dance?
Agent Sandler: Lets.
(The Agent Sandler clones both join the fight. One of them picks up a metal pipe and rushes Joel with it. Joel grabs the pipe, kicks the Agent Sandler clone in the groin, and takes the pipe from him. Joel starts twirling the pipe in ULTRA JOHN WOO SLOW MOTION! He hits an Agent Sandler with it, and another, and another, and another, and another. They keep comming back)
Joel: This is getting old!
Mike: Let's get out of here!
(They clear enough space and soon begin flying, leaving the Agent Sandlers watching them zoom away)
Agent Sandler: So what now?
Agent Sandler: Denny's?
Agent Sandler: Now you're talkin'!
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Post by Ator on Jan 17, 2004 7:29:35 GMT -5
Dude, this story is freakin' hilarious! Oh, and awesome, by the way.
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