Rembrandt: We still got a problem, Q-Ball. Earth Prime is still overrun by Kromaggs.
Quinn: I say we just leave it that way. Rosie O'Donell will be shipped to a breeder camp and then those Kromaggs will get what they deserve.
Wade: Are you insane?! Our families are on that Earth!
Quinn: OK, OK, you're right...
Wade: I am? What happened to "Shut up, Wade?"
Quinn: I get turned on by people who yell like a complete bitch like you did five minutes ago. Just ask Maggie.
Maggie: (from behind them) It's true!
Quinn: I have an idea. If I could get a hold of a much more powerful timer, like say one of those Manta ships, I could probably create a slidewave, just like in that season four episode.
Peck: (from behind them) And you people say nothing good came out of season four.
Quinn: I could program it to slide only the Kromagg sliding signatures and no human would be touched.
Wade: Like one big "genoslide."
Rembrandt: But what would keep the Kromaggs from coming back?
Quinn: We could send them to the Slidecage.
Peck: Also from season four!
Rembrandt: But wait, do we even have the Slidecages coodinates anymore?
Quinn: That's the problem. Appearantly some IDIOT writer said that season four was a dream.
Writer: (voice coming from the sky, like a God) D'OH!
Peck: Aha! I have the coordinates right here! In
my timer.
Quinn: Who the hell gave you a timer?
Peck: Made it myself. And it's got the coordinates to all the worlds from seasons three, four, and five.
Rembrandt: Give it here, Peckerhead!
Peck: Come and get it! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Peck activates his vortex and jumps through, followed by Maggie, Mallory, Diana, and Rickman. Mike makes a leap for the vortex. ULTRA JOHN WOO SLOW MOTION! But the vortex closes before he is in, and he crashes face first into the wall)
Mike: Ow! My nose!
Rembrandt: We have to get that timer!
Quinn: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Wade: How much time does our timer have left?
Quinn: (pulls out timer) An hour.
Rembrandt: An hour? You gotta be kidding me! Whenever stuff like this happens we always have less than a minute.
Quinn: Here, check the timer yourself.
Rembrandt: Aw man!
Quinn: Don't worry, I'm tracking the wormhole. We'll get them.
Rembrandt: Not that. Now it's gonna be boring, waiting for that damn timer to run out.
(time goes by, they're all sitting on the floor)
Mike: and then the old guy blows up the vault and he calls the owner of the studio. And when he's done, the nerdy kid asks "can I use your phone?"
Rembrandt: I got that beat. We once slid onto a world were a vampire rock band wanted Wade to be their lead singer. And one of them electricuted me with a guitar.
Joel: Oh, that's nothing. We were sent a movie once, where there was this astronaut that supposedly turned into a monster and started killing people. In the end, it wasn't the astronaut and the monster just disappeared never to be seen again.
Quinn: Pretty bad. I see I'm going to have to pull out the big guns. There was this one world were people ate worm sh*t because it made them younger.
Tom: You win. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
(just then Kromaggs burst into the room and point guns at them)
Kromagg: Freeze humans!
(they all stand up)
Rembrandt: How much time now, Q-Ball?
Quinn: (looks at timer) Less than a minute.
Rembrandt: Now that's more like it. But how do we get out of here.
Crow: Well I don't know about you guys, but he said "humans." I'm leaving.
Tom: Yeah, me too.
(they both pass right by the Kromaggs)
Mike: Well I'll be damned.
Joel: Mike, grab Wade.
Mike: Huh?
Joel: Just do it.
(Joel grabs Quinn and Rembrandt by their shirt colars and Mike grabs Wade by the waist)
Wade: (blushing) Woah! Hey! I just met you!
(ULTRA JOHN WOO SLOW MOTION! Joel blasts into the air with Quinn and Rembrandt and knocks the Kromaggs down as he flies right through the door)
Mike: Oh, I see.
(Mike takes off with Wade and he flies right over the Kromaggs lumpy heads. And they land right next to Joel, Quinn, Rembrandt, Tom, and Crow)
Wade: And now we run.
(they run down the hall but don't get very far)
Quinn: Guys. We gotta go now!
(he raises the timer and activates the vortex. Wade immediatly jumps in. Followed by Tom, Crow, Rembrandt, Joel, and Mike. Just as Quinn jumps in one of the Kromaggs fires a gunshot.
The vortex opens on the next world, they all landed flat on the ground and the vortex closes)
Mike: Wooooooooh! I love this thing, I tells yah!
(they all get up but Quinn looks a little pale. Then, suddenly he falls down)
Wade: Quinn!
Rembrandt: Q-Ball!
(Wade kneels down and cradles his head in her lap. She strokes the back of his head. But then she looks at her hand. Blood. Quinn's blood)
Wade: Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
To Be Continued...
(cue Sliders theme, Season 1)
Agent Banderas....................Antonio Banderas
Crow T. Robot................................Bill Corbett
Angus Rickman #1.....................Roger Daltrey
Rembrandt Brown.................Cleavant Derricks
Angus Rickman #2.......................Neil Dickson
Quinn "Mallory" Mallory................Robert Floyd
Joel Robinson.............................Joel Hodgson
Wade Welles.............................Sabrina Lloyd
Diana Davis.................................Tembi Locke
Tom Servo..................................Kevin Murphy
Mike Nelson.........................Michael J. Nelson
Colin Mallory........................Charlie O' Connell
Quinn Mallory...........................Jerry O'Connell
David Peckinpah..................................Himself
Oricle..........................................Mary Jo Pehl
Professor Maximillian Arturo...John Rhys-Davies
Maggie Beckett.............................Kari Wuhrer