Phanco Inc Now Hiring

[Dave Walker]

phantomengineer said:

Good work DW, help yourself to a heapin' fistful of petty cash.

Thanks, PE, I think I will. And, you'll owe me more for this:

Job Title: Chief Executive

Function:

· To implement the strategic goals and objectives of the organization
· With the chair, enable the Board to fulfill its governance function
· To give direction and leadership toward the achievement of the organization's philosophy, mission, strategy, and its annual goals and objectives

Reports to: Board of Directors and Phantom

Major Functions/Accountabilities:

1. Board Administration and Support -- Supports operations and administration of Board, and Phantom, by advising and informing, interfacing between Board and staff, and supporting Board's evaluation of chief executive as directed by Phantom
2. Program, Product and Service Delivery -- Oversees design, marketing, promotion, delivery and quality of programs, products and services
3. Financial, Tax, Risk and Facilities Management -- Recommends yearly budget for Board, and Phantom, approval and prudently manages organization's resources within those budget guidelines according to current laws and regulations
4. Human Resource Management -- Effectively manages the human resources of the organization according to authorized personnel policies and procedures that fully conform to current laws and regulations as decided by Phantom
5. Community and Public Relations -- Assures the organization and its mission, programs, products and services are consistently presented in strong, positive image to relevant stakeholders

Salary/Benefits:

1. Will receive competitive salary and exceptional benefits in accordance with achieving prespecified goals
2. Company car and housing available upon successful completion Phantom's whims
3. Flexible hours available, with commensurate salary considerations

[colemanfrancisfan]

I'll take your word for it that what you said was a good thing, or bad thing or however you intended it to be. It's just too heavy to read the whole way through. Good work!

[mummifiedstalin]

Dave said:

Thanks, PE, I think I will. And, you'll owe me more for this:

Job Title: Chief Executive

Function:

· To implement the strategic goals and objectives of the organization
· With the chair, enable the Board to fulfill its governance function
· To give direction and leadership toward the achievement of the organization's philosophy, mission, strategy, and its annual goals and objectives

Reports to: Board of Directors and Phantom

Major Functions/Accountabilities:

1. Board Administration and Support -- Supports operations and administration of Board, and Phantom, by advising and informing, interfacing between Board and staff, and supporting Board's evaluation of chief executive as directed by Phantom
2. Program, Product and Service Delivery -- Oversees design, marketing, promotion, delivery and quality of programs, products and services
3. Financial, Tax, Risk and Facilities Management -- Recommends yearly budget for Board, and Phantom, approval and prudently manages organization's resources within those budget guidelines according to current laws and regulations
4. Human Resource Management -- Effectively manages the human resources of the organization according to authorized personnel policies and procedures that fully conform to current laws and regulations as decided by Phantom
5. Community and Public Relations -- Assures the organization and its mission, programs, products and services are consistently presented in strong, positive image to relevant stakeholders

Salary/Benefits:

1. Will receive competitive salary and exceptional benefits in accordance with achieving prespecified goals
2. Company car and housing available upon successful completion Phantom's whims
3. Flexible hours available, with commensurate salary considerations

NOT FUNNY! WHERE'S THE FUNNY?[/color]

[Torgo]

mummifiedstalin said:

NOT FUNNY! WHERE'S THE FUNNY?

[/color][/quote]

WORDS TOO BIG AND RED! WHY DO YOU WANT MY EYES TO HURT?![/color][/b]

[Dave Walker]

mummifiedstalin said:

NOT FUNNY! WHERE'S THE FUNNY?

[/color][/quote]

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!! I knew i forgot something...

[mummifiedstalin]

Dave said:

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!! I knew i forgot something...

Sorry. But I'd give you the job. Only I only do mummies, apparently. Boss Man Phantom won't trust me with any real work.

So who's our HR director, anyway?

[colemanfrancisfan]

I told you guys it was too heavy and uncool.

[Dave Walker]

mummifiedstalin said:

Sorry. But I'd give you the job. Only I only do mummies, apparently. Boss Man Phantom won't trust me with any real work.

So who's our HR director, anyway?

I already have a job as Chief Misinformation Officer, why would I want to run that sh...I mean Daisy Manufacturing Company.

[colemanfrancisfan]

From Strangers With Candy's "Yes, You Can't!"

The only thing you can't do is the impossible!

[TomServo69]

mummifiedstalin said:

Sorry. But I'd give you the job. Only I only do mummies, apparently. Boss Man Phantom won't trust me with any real work.

So who's our HR director, anyway?

Hey guy. I'm a human resources director. Yeah, I direct my vicious right pimp slap upside the heads of ignorant humans while Phantom and I laugh.

!!!!SLAP!!!!!!

See?

Servo

[yousonuva]

TomServo69 said:

!!!!SLAP!!!!!!

Hey! Stopit! *SLAP* C'mon now man, cut it out! *SLAP* Hey man I'm the VP, you can't do that! *SLAP*



I'm tellin

[Phantom Engineer]

Keep up the good work TS69. You're a credit to the company.

[Torgo]

yousonuva said:

Hey! Stopit! *SLAP* C'mon now man, cut it out! *SLAP* Hey man I'm the VP, you can't do that! *SLAP*



I'm tellin

Hey Moe! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Woowoowoo!

[Phantom Engineer]

Torgo said:

Hey Moe! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Woowoowoo!

Pipe down knucklehead or I'll rip your esophagus out!

[Buddhist Kitten]

I'm makin' smoothies and cookies and delicious berry-spinach salad!