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Post by Phantom Engineer on Sept 29, 2005 22:36:07 GMT -5
It was a dark and dismal day. I hadn't had a case in a week. The hazy afternoon light streaked through the blinds and struck my bloodshot eyes like a drunken prizefighter. Then she walked into my office. The kind of dame that haunts the corners of your mind. She strode in like she owned the joint with a bottle of scotch wearing a red dress.
No no! (rips paper from typewriter) Why would a bottle of scotch be wearing a red dress? Damn, I gotta get some shut eye or I'll never get this novel started!
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Post by guerayou on Sept 29, 2005 23:38:52 GMT -5
And not to mention that she shared ownership of the joint with booze sporting a red frock.
And my mind is round, it has no corners....which makes me worry about my Phanty. Did you have an accident as a child?
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Post by GodoHell on Sept 30, 2005 3:09:33 GMT -5
It was a bright & sunny night. The peyote had just kicked in, crashing into my skull like a flock of narcoleptic flying elephants.
That's when IT walked through the wall & into my nightmares. It was the kind of alien your mother tells you not to stare at, let alone lick. It had one large eye, bloodshot with green streaks, looking like an entry in the Guiness book for world's largest gallstone. A myriad of tentacles, hypnotically waving like a tuft of grass in a typhoon, conveyed the urgency of its message, along with the promise of hot, slimy loving.
A disembodied voice telepathically careened around my head like Altamont Hendrix on a crappy PA. "Phantom, I am in need of your...services.
I stopped clawing my own face off long enough to spit out, "1000 Altarian shekels a day, plus expenses."
Its pupil dilated, and fixed me like a depleted-uranium nail gun. "Does that include...fringe benefits?"
The cacophony of children's laughter stopped long enough for me to stammer, "What did my mother tell you about the fringe? OK, yes, I wore the dress. But I didn't enjoy it."
It was thus that tentacle & hand were clasped in a gentleman's agreement, but only after my hand quit swelling like a whale phallus with every heartbeat.
And even then, neither of us were gentlemen...
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Post by Ratso on Sept 30, 2005 5:52:48 GMT -5
It was a brisk winter morning, The time was 6:21 am. I was still woozy from the night before, so I decided to sit back in my chair and rest my eyes. That's when I heard the soft taps of her shoes as she approached my door, I knew she was going to be asking for child support. I immediately leaped into the air like a fawn and slid down the fire escape. I ran down the icy streets like a bat out of hell.... I called my fiance (Who technically left me a month ago... but I think she's playing hard to get) I asked her for a loan.... and she told me to die. I told her I loved her and hung up. After that I called another girlfriend and asked her the same....she said that if I went 60 feet near her she would shoot me (True love) After that I called the GhostBusters. Why? I don't know, they also told me to die...
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Post by Phantom Engineer on Sept 30, 2005 7:50:43 GMT -5
Nice work fellas, I always wanted to be a hard boiled private dick. Stop snickering, you know what I mean!
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Post by Dave Walker on Sept 30, 2005 7:57:15 GMT -5
I guess those crime fighting days of yours are slipping away.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Sept 30, 2005 9:13:01 GMT -5
It had been snowing in Santa Barba since the top of the page, and my mucklucks were heavy with corn starch as I lifted the heavy obsidian knocker....
Wait, sorry, wrong script....
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Sept 30, 2005 9:25:59 GMT -5
We should do a crossover with They're Cops, after the movies gets to theaters!
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Sept 30, 2005 9:38:59 GMT -5
It's official...They're Cops deserves an entry in The Book Of Lore. Don't suppose you have a link to every single mention of it ever, do ya?
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Sept 30, 2005 9:42:21 GMT -5
What about Rick Sloane Championship Wrestling?
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Sept 30, 2005 10:03:43 GMT -5
Mmmm....maybe....lemme plant some evidence on Phantom while I think about it.
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Post by Ratso on Sept 30, 2005 19:31:37 GMT -5
It's official...They're Cops deserves an entry in The Book Of Lore. Don't suppose you have a link to every single mention of it ever, do ya? What about Commander Mittens?
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Post by GodoHell on Oct 1, 2005 0:29:32 GMT -5
It's official...They're Cops deserves an entry in The Book Of Lore. Don't suppose you have a link to every single mention of it ever, do ya? What about Commander Mittens? Two words: Chalk outline.
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Oct 1, 2005 12:32:08 GMT -5
Can you find out why PhanCo went belly up?
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Post by Phantom Engineer on Oct 1, 2005 17:55:26 GMT -5
Phanco is doing quite well thank you. We're just laying low. All part of the cooperate strategy.
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