In the spirit of Good Thing/Bad Thing, I decided to start this up, for all of you half-way complainers who can't bring yourself to say that a movie was wholly bad. Just pick a movie, change one or two things about it, then see if it turns out good. For instance....
Batman Forever: Not nearly as good as anything Tim Burton did regarding Batman, but I think we can all agree that it turned out better than Batman & Robin.
Now, I personally thought that the director/actors were able to pull off their jobs moderately well. However, the characters being portrayed were so untrue to their "real" forms, that I think the movie would have worked out better had some of the names been changed. For instance....
Instead of "Riddler", why not "Mad Hatter"? The Riddler's plot, for one thing, seems very much like the type of thing that Jarvis Tetch (The Mad Hatter) would've tried. Just replace that room filled with Riddle-based knick-knacks with a secret altar filled with Lewis Carroll memorobilia, and boom! Possible good character.
Think it would work?
Click HERE for my blog, and HERE for my awesome sci-fi mystery, Three Virellium Coins!
"War and Peace"--what a massive waste of time and talent.
1) Casting. Fire Henry Fonda and hire Marlon Brando. At least Brando can do accents. Replace Mel Ferer (or whoever he is) with a good character actor like Joseph Cotten. Keep Audrey Hepburn.
2) Script. Fire the writers (or at least go through the script with a black magic marker and start slashing crap dialogue). Reread Tolstoy's novel and try it again.
Post by losingmydignity on Jul 21, 2005 18:37:57 GMT -5
Remake of Lolita
Fire hack Lynne, hire Martin Scorcese....keep the girl who played Dolores Haze (she was really pretty good) but get rid of Jeremy Irons and replace him with an actor of greater depth......hmmm, can't think of one right now. Trash the sleazy screenplay and have Martin follow, as closely as possible, the one Nabokov wrote for Kubrick (Stanely only used bits of it).
Hamlet: throw out every lousy version ever made and raise Tarkovsky from the grave to direct the version he planned to do if he hadn't died.
Last Edit: Jul 21, 2005 18:39:52 GMT -5 by losingmydignity
Post by siamesesin on Jul 21, 2005 21:29:48 GMT -5
Beyond The Sea
Great movie, very good, but a couple of caveats.
1) Change some of the casting. John Goodman was a horror. Kate Bosworth wasn't a good choice for Sandra Dee (although I'm coming up blank thinking of a better one right now).
2) Make it tens years ago, when Kevin Spacey could have pulled off the age range better, appearnce-wise. He looked older through the whole movie than Bobby Darin WAS when he died.
PS Some people didn't like the dance numbers. I did, but I understand that it made the flick less accessible to people. If they have to go, fair enough.
Post by bobjohnson on Jul 22, 2005 15:50:57 GMT -5
Terminator 3
Ok, the movie was good, not great. I would have gotten Edward Furlong back for John Connor, get rid of Claire Danes, make John Connor less of a puss, and have the T-X talk a little more.
T2 was the best one
47 Keebler Elves were killed today when a light plane plunged into their tree, E.L. fudge remains in critical condition.
Post by Melting Manos on Jul 22, 2005 16:53:53 GMT -5
Alien Vs. Predator
What a disappointment this one was. Being a fan of both creatures I was really looking forward to it and I was let down BIG TIME. This could have been done much better but they failed at nearly every conceivable level. Here are a few things that could have made it a much better (or at least enjoyable) film in my opinion.
1. Hire James Cameron to direct. I loved his work on Aliens. He made the perfect action/horror film which is what Alien Vs. Predator should have been. This Paul W.S. Anderson dope clearly wasn't up to the task.
2. DON'T, I repeat DON'T add the cheesy element of one of the Predators "helping" the humans. This completely goes against everything we knew about them in the previous two Predator films and was a huge mistake. Doing that took away a ton for me. They also were a little too easily killed if you ask me. What a joke...
3. Don't be shy...Give us some gore! I know exactly why they didn't too. It was simply so they could get away with a PG-13 rating to bring more kids into the theater. That was exactly the kind of "safe" move that is done nowadays that infuriates me.
4. Give me some reason to care about these characters please. I cared about everyone in the Alien/Predator films before it but not this one. I felt like I was watching a very poorly done slasher film with a bunch of people who couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. That is of course excluding Lance Henriksen, who should be embarassed to have been a part of it.
That's enough for now. Just thinking about what a letdown this mess of a film was is giving me a headache
My top five MST3K episodes: 1. The Incredible Melting Man 2. Space Mutiny 3. Werewolf 4. Manos 5. Horrors Of Spider Island