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Post by Tennis Hog on Apr 20, 2009 14:34:57 GMT -5
I was thinking back on the movies that show up on MST3K, and I noticed how many of their villains are utter dimwits that pretty much defeat themselves.
For me, Queen Lara from Outlaw tops the list. She doesn't kill Watney as soon as he'd outlived his usefulness, which comes back to bite her in the ass. I get that she doesn't kill Cabot because she wants him, but she could have gotten him to co-rule with her by threatening to kill his girlfriend. Instead, after giving a speech about how she can't make him a martyr, she tries to have him killed in a giant gladiatorial spectacle in front of everyone. What the hell? For that matter, Xenos was pretty stupid when he told the queen he tried to make a deal with Cabot on his own. Yeah, don't try to lie or anything. She'll never believe you over some prisoner.
Let's not forget the Dark One and Valaria, who don't notice that their slaves have been shoveling dirt into the furnace for hours.
So who are the villains that make you say "I could have done that way better!"?
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Post by fathermushroom on Apr 20, 2009 18:01:57 GMT -5
Any of them that decide not to kill the hero, just for now. That always leads to their demise.
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Post by Don Quixote on Apr 20, 2009 18:42:02 GMT -5
Mrs. March from The Atomic Brain.
Don't hire the girls until Dr. Frank's experiments are completed, don't hire three at once, and if you need a few for experimental purposes, bring in transients. And if she found out that Dr. Frank had rigged the place with NUCLEAR CHARGES, don't you think you'd tell him to ramp it down a touch? I mean, Hell, napalm would work too. KILL THE DOG-THING. He's obviously not useful beyond mangling your girls. Don't you think girls hired through an agency would be more susceptible to tracking? Hire privately. No paper trail. And moreover, once the girls are there, keep them under sedation or shackle them up or something, to prevent them from throwing a wrench in your plans. And, lastly, treat your cat better.
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Post by nonmeltingman on Apr 20, 2009 19:22:54 GMT -5
The biker gang from Wild Rebels always struck me as incredibly dumb. They can ride motorcycles, but can't drive a car?! If your plan is to rob banks, the ability to drive is pretty important. And after approaching a potential driver and telling him all the plans, when he refuses it's probably best to just kill him. I mean, the cops might pick him up half a block away and he could tell them everything...
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Post by DON3k on Apr 21, 2009 13:15:23 GMT -5
The biker gang from Wild Rebels always struck me as incredibly dumb. They can ride motorcycles, but can't drive a car?! If your plan is to rob banks, the ability to drive is pretty important. And after approaching a potential driver and telling him all the plans, when he refuses it's probably best to just kill him. I mean, the cops might pick him up half a block away and he could tell them everything... Yeah, and you always want to pick a driver who has rolled his car in the only two races in which you've see him involved... That's just smart planning, right there... |
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Apr 21, 2009 21:53:12 GMT -5
Phantom from Krankor and his minions for me.
Your weapons are USELESS against him! USELESS! Gah...don't keep firing your useless weapons...
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Post by crowschmo on Apr 22, 2009 17:52:07 GMT -5
The superior beings in The Human Duplicators. Mmm. Yep. Always a good idea to make your army out of porcelain.
They can never be stopped!! Mwahaahaa.....oops.
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Post by Space Teens on Apr 22, 2009 18:02:26 GMT -5
Torgo's plan to take in visitors that the Master wouldn't approve of, and then go and fondle one of the Master's wives seems a little short sighted too. Um, Torgo buddy? What were you going for there?
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Post by forcastleton on Apr 22, 2009 23:12:29 GMT -5
JK Robertson: I can't imagine that guy running a fruit stand, let alone a fortune 500 company. He's still awesome though.
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Post by pablum on Apr 23, 2009 1:00:56 GMT -5
The bad alien Leader in Teenagers From Outer Space. Mostly for letting his son who he already knew turned on him once to direct an invasion fleet. Perhaps the invasion fleet is even worse for being so dumb as to follow instructions that would lead to their destruction.
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Post by inlovewithcrow on Apr 24, 2009 8:21:01 GMT -5
Oh dear. Nearly all of them, I'm afraid. I don't remember many competent bad guys (the moon people in 12 to the Moon, the Russians that bomb NYC in Rocket Attack USA, maybe one or two others)
The Communists in The Violent Girls come first to mind. Let's overthrow democracy in America! How? by hiring a woman fence to get teenage girls to throw globes and books around in classrooms. Yeah, there's a plan. Geez, no wonder communism fell!
But truly, I could take any season and go through the list, one by one and ask WTF?
701- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST -- you've successfully gotten to Earth and impregnated an earth man, so why mess it up with the whole killing-the-doctor in a bloody way thing? Wait for your shrimp to hatch, impregnate some others, and build up a force, why don't ya? And how about straying beyond the site where those who know about you are holed up? LA's just over the hill. Plenty of potential shrimp man-mothers there, and some of them would probably pay you $500 for the experience.
702- THE BRUTE MAN. You must admit, the cops were so bad at finding him, this guy actually did do fairly well. Though why he blamed Joan, the girl who liked him for the whole chem quiz problem, I can't explain. And this all seems to take place ten years after the fact. That's one slow act of vengeance. Not that the exploding chemicals were anyone's fault but his own. Were I to take vengeance on three related people, I'd do it all in one night, so the cops wouldn't have time to see the pattern. And I'd probably rob them after I had strangled them so I didn't have to live in a drafty shack on the pier any more. But that's just me.
703- DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL. Wardrobe alone makes Truxartis a silly villain. Why he doesn't kill Deathstalker outright when he captures him, I can't explain. This is of course the problem with many of these villains. They capture the hero, and then say, "ahahaha, but I'll let you live and wander away to give you a chance to escape."
704- THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN. Slow, messy, pointless. At the rate he moves, even I could outrun him--and I'm slow and old. Though again, those trying to stop him are so inept, he comes off better than he should. Please, if I ever commit crimes, assign Ted Nelson and General Turkey Leg to stop me.
and so on.
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Post by Tennis Hog on Apr 24, 2009 8:55:47 GMT -5
I considered Troxartas, but I feel he did the best he could. It wasn't his fault that the editor wasn't working with him.
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Post by mrsphyllistorgo on Apr 24, 2009 12:16:09 GMT -5
Radar Men from the Moon. You have a giant heat laser, try using it! ON EARTH! The planet you want to conquer? Dumbasses.
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Post by hugo on Apr 24, 2009 13:18:21 GMT -5
JK Robertson: I can't imagine that guy running a fruit stand, let alone a fortune 500 company. He's still awesome though. Hey, don't be too hard on J.K. After all, he had TOWTL CNTROWL of that situation! |
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Post by feelingsquishy on Apr 25, 2009 5:01:01 GMT -5
The Communists in The Violent Girls come first to mind. Let's overthrow democracy in America! How? by hiring a woman fence to get teenage girls to throw globes and books around in classrooms. Yeah, there's a plan. Geez, no wonder communism fell! communists?? honestly, i've seen that episode many times and had absolutely no idea why their fence wanted them to vandalize a school...not that they were very successful at it. the really only hit one classroom and managed to get shot in the process. they should have stuck to holding up gas stations  |
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