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Post by Mitchell on Oct 17, 2011 15:29:58 GMT -5
Chapter I:
The Proper Way to Make Love to Thelma
1. Pull orange cowl-neck sweater over head
2. Bend her over
3. Proceed with vigor
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 17, 2011 15:39:34 GMT -5
What if you're just not feeling very vigorous one day? Do you proceed nonetheless, or is there another option?
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Post by Mitchell on Oct 17, 2011 15:57:22 GMT -5
Proceed as you like, but the only proper way is vigorously.
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Post by Crowfan on Oct 17, 2011 18:39:09 GMT -5
Is it bad that I read that as "vinegar"?
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Post by Mitchell on Oct 17, 2011 19:02:25 GMT -5
Chapter II:
The Proper Way to Douche the Starting Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers
1. Grow a Snidely Whiplash mustache
2. Obtain douche from Donald Driver's locker
3. Sneak into the shower sausage fest led by Clay Matthews
4. Find Aaron Rodgers. His behind will be the one "Naired"
5. Insert Nozzle and Squeeze
6. Make an easy Komedy reference to the name "Packers"
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Post by siamesesin on Oct 17, 2011 19:54:27 GMT -5
Okay, Mr. Wizard. How does one remove 35-year-old laminate from corkboard countertops with a budget of "laughable"?
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Post by Mitchell on Oct 18, 2011 15:18:07 GMT -5
Chapter III:
How to Remove Laminate from Corkboard for Under $5
1. Buy one gallon of Gasoline
2. Buy one box Ohio "Blue Tip" Matches
3. Pour Gasoline onto countertops
4. Light with one match
5. Once the final atom of laminate is burned away, immediately extinguish the blaze.
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Post by siamesesin on Oct 18, 2011 19:50:38 GMT -5
I hope Chapter IV is a how-to on hiding from my mom.
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Post by Ratso on Oct 18, 2011 20:17:19 GMT -5
Mr Wizard say you got a basement full of dead girl scouts what do you do?
Oh and making soup is not an option because you already did that with the boy scouts.
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Post by Don Quixote on Oct 19, 2011 22:32:55 GMT -5
Make stew, Ratso. That's what I do when I use all the marrow from the old hobos and have some fresh ones in my crawlspace.
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Post by Mitchell on Oct 19, 2011 23:09:51 GMT -5
Chapter IV:
How to Make Requests for Instructions in This Thread:
1. Call Casey Casem because I don't do requests.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 20, 2011 1:19:33 GMT -5
Chapter IV: How to Make Requests for Instructions in This Thread:1. Call Casey Casem because I don't do requests. And, thus, the thread jumps the shark. Didn't the phrase "jump the shark" jump-the-shark when it was coined? I think culture, period, jumped-the-shark when that phrase happened, as indicated by the self-defeating self-referentiality of my previous interrogative sentence. |
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Post by siamesesin on Oct 20, 2011 2:53:18 GMT -5
I think you're a bit obsessed with the shark.
*easy dual claspers joke here*
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Post by Mitchell on Oct 20, 2011 5:26:36 GMT -5
Chapter IV: How to Make Requests for Instructions in This Thread:1. Call Casey Casem because I don't do requests. And, thus, the thread jumps the shark. Didn't the phrase "jump the shark" jump-the-shark when it was coined? I think culture, period, jumped-the-shark when that phrase happened, as indicated by the self-defeating self-referentiality of my previous interrogative sentence.  |
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