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Post by Mr. Atari on Jun 23, 2004 17:53:15 GMT -5
I'm sure you've all seen annoying emails on the subject, but if anyone can plumb the creative depths of this idea, it's MiSTies.
Movies can teach us so much essential information about life.
For example-
If a giant insect is attacking your town, your guns are useless.
If a computer is about to begin a sequence of Global Thermonuclear War, distract it by playing tic-tac-toe.
The bad guys will always discuss their methods and plans before killing the hero.
If the shootout is in a warehouse, cave, or spaceship, there will be railing kills.
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Post by Unsavory on Jun 23, 2004 18:17:30 GMT -5
-Giant monsters are best left to children in short pants. (Done, but it has to be mentioned.
-The slower the monster, the stupider the victim.
-High school students are generally composed of mentally inferior 30 year olds.
-The handsome and beautiful are far more likely to survive a monster attack than the grotesque and deformed.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jun 23, 2004 18:17:48 GMT -5
Come on, don't be stupid use real educational shorts
If you don't clean you horn an adronginis man/woman who use to be friend with you father will come annoy your about it.
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Post by Railingkill on Jun 23, 2004 18:18:10 GMT -5
"If the shootout is in a warehouse, cave, or spaceship, there will be railing deaths."
Too true, thats how i get my name
good guys only run out of ammo when it's dramatic
all CEOs are evil by default
in the future people still use 80's computer technology with wall mounted keyboards
making out KILLS!
Slow lumbering monsters can catch most people
good guys only get shot when its dramatic to do so
people in the old west could get shot and live for hours without showing any signs of pain and suddenly fall over dead
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Post by Mr. Atari on Jun 23, 2004 18:21:43 GMT -5
Come on, don't be stupid use real educational shorts Okay. If giving out cigars to celebrate the birth of a child, use gentle pressure.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jun 23, 2004 18:23:12 GMT -5
The hierarchy in Japan goes like this
School Children in little shorts Scientists who have a hunch Generals Actual Politicians Postal Workers All other Men Dogs Cats Other Domesticated Animals Ceiling fans all undomesticated animals television sets malls radios Dan Quayle thinks made of glass lightbulbs nose hair everything else and finally- Women (which were treated like objects in many Japanese movies seen)
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Jun 24, 2004 4:24:57 GMT -5
I noticed this while watching City Limits and Time Chasers: -Every evil corporation or company must have a seminar for the new employees, teaching them that they all must physically assualt ANY trespasser or soliciter as soon as possible and no command to do so is necessary.
-Being a teenager means you're evil and deserve to be killed by the most horrific thing, the mind can conjur up.
-Women in the fiftys are completely inept in any dangerous situation and like to scream a lot.
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Post by LordKaT on Jun 24, 2004 4:40:32 GMT -5
If you and your friends are going on a vacation - SOMONE WILL DIE!
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Post by doctorz on Jun 24, 2004 4:50:19 GMT -5
-Nobody listens to elderly teenagers until it's too late. -The only thing standing between earth and total alien domination are whispy Japanese bachelors in Danskins and their orphans. -Movie color was different in the 70's and so were the clothes. -No matter if a woman is a brilliant scientist or a political leader she will disolve into ineffectualness at the first sign of trouble. -Bert I Gordon movies are weapons of mass destruction. -In the future spaceships will be equipped with office furniture and have flourescent lighting. -No matter how bad you think THIS movie is, there is another one much, much worse in your future!
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jun 24, 2004 5:06:02 GMT -5
Puerto Rico is just like us only hot and more boring.
In disaster movies nobody believes the hero even if he has huge scientific evidence to support him.
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Post by LordKaT on Jun 24, 2004 6:16:04 GMT -5
Cuba is located in New Mexico.
Headlights magically fix themselves in the middle of a car chase scene.
Big knees are the sign of a true monster.
If you're dumb enough to lay down while a big crawling <insert monster here> tries to eat/maim/kill you, you deserve it.
The chicken of tomorrow will be exactly like the chicken of yesterday, except it will be pumped full of steroids.
The easiest way to make a medival fantasy movie is to take common household objects - like a serving tray - and give them unique names from the gods - like the shield of the thousand souls.
There's a reason nobody ever mentions Jame Bond's brother: he's not the gifted one in the family.
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Post by NerdGroupie on Jun 24, 2004 7:58:15 GMT -5
When an old wise man is teaching a young female all the secrets of their particular trade, he will die. She will stop believing in herself for awhile, but then rise the challenge, whether it be unlocking a safe or killing that darn radioactive monkey.
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Post by MonsterX on Jun 24, 2004 11:55:55 GMT -5
There is a full moon in Arizona very night of the week.
If you are ever going up agents a coven of Vampire Woman, be sure to bring along a silver-masked wrestler with you.
Santa Claws watches over all of us in his castle in heaven.
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Post by BobJohnsonX2 on Jun 24, 2004 12:40:36 GMT -5
- don't go to bed with wet hair.... or a first date
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Post by Witzner on Jun 24, 2004 12:58:47 GMT -5
Characters don't mind standing around mentioning inane little tidbits of information to each other all day if it makes it easier for the director to tell the backstory.
If you're ever going to be an animal, nothing is more shameful than an anteater.
Slow-motion should be used sparingly, if at all.
Bad guys have bad aim, good guys have good aim. It's that simple.
The world is a better place since the big frizzy hair of the 80's disappeared.
The Apocalypse won't have sanitation, fashionable clothes, or any good places to live, but everyone WILL have laser guns with plenty of battery power, fancy, fast, talking cars/motorcycles, and giant evil corporations will pretty much run the place. That is, they will until some guy shows up and gets talked into single-handedly destroying said corporation and erasing what little chance society had of regaining sanitation, fashionable clothes, and a good place to live.
Having any sort of disfiguring or crippling accident will immediately turn anyone into an evil, murdering sociopath that kills everything and everyone in sight.
At any given party, pretty much every person you see is capable of VERY bad dancing.
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