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Post by Unsavory on May 12, 2004 17:34:10 GMT -5
This is the thread for writing out your own bad movie ideas, ideal for a good MST3K treatment. Take as much or as little space as you want. I guess I'll start so that I get things rolling.
Alien Parasite
A colony of microscopic water dwelling fish aliens come to Earth and invade a small isolated town in Wyoming, population 112. They take shelter in the town's water supply, but the fish aliens release a toxic chemical from their pores that causes the entire town to fall ill. A brilliant scientist by the name of Dr.Peters discovers a strange foreign matter while looking in a microscope. Based on this, he shrinks down town asshole Wolfgang Johnson with a device he'd invented years before, so that Johnson can battle the alien invaders. Johnson then puts on scuba gear and fights the alien fish underwater with a custom flamethrower...that somehow works under water. The aliens don't put up much of a fight, and die rather quickly.
The movie ends with the Dr.Peters, and Wolfgang Johnson wondering if they've done the right thing, killing a species that had only come to Earth to insure its own survival. Dramatic music plays, and the camera shows a dead fish floating on top of some water as the words "The End" are shown at the top of the screen.
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Post by nightfalcawk on May 12, 2004 19:14:38 GMT -5
Mr. McPuppy-Punch
An evil guy with two heads swallows 88 sleeping pills and screams "I am the GOD!!" and dies. However, an old man who happens to be a cannibal comes by and eats the dead guy. He becomes Mr. McPuppy-Punch, a guy who punches people with puppies. He fights Mary-Kate and Ashley on the Van eyk Expressway. In the end they dance away and start wreaking havoc. Until Pat Benatar comes along and cleans things up!
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Post by otrfan on May 12, 2004 19:32:56 GMT -5
Okay, there's this family on vacation and the kid is crying and they might be lost and a cop pulls them over for a busted taillight and then they turn down a long gravel road looking for a looge and then there a guy with big knees who says everything twice. They decide to stay and then leave and then stay and then leave and then stay. And then the family dog disappears and so does the family kid girl and there's a master who knows someone who can sew things out of felt and he is not there but is there but not like we know it. And there are some brides in the basement maybe and they argue. The family man gets bopped on the head. The family wife gets peeped on. The dog dies at some point. The guy with the knees has a cane and gets jealous. The knee-guy boss yells at him and then has him killed or not. The family man gets slapped back awake. There's a burning hand and some laughing. The family wife becomes yet another bride and so does the family kid girl. And the family man gets a new job though not new knees.
Aw crap!!
We're supposed to be "writing out your own bad movie ideas"
Sorry.
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Post by Rob T Firefly on May 13, 2004 17:44:02 GMT -5
Adam Sandler, in...
(insert whatever here)
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Post by vanhagar3000 on May 13, 2004 18:11:39 GMT -5
Okay, there's this family on vacation and the kid is crying and they might be lost and a cop pulls them over for a busted taillight and then they turn down a long gravel road looking for a looge and then there a guy with big knees who says everything twice. They decide to stay and then leave and then stay and then leave and then stay. And then the family dog disappears and so does the family kid girl and there's a master who knows someone who can sew things out of felt and he is not there but is there but not like we know it. And there are some brides in the basement maybe and they argue. The family man gets bopped on the head. The family wife gets peeped on. The dog dies at some point. The guy with the knees has a cane and gets jealous. The knee-guy boss yells at him and then has him killed or not. The family man gets slapped back awake. There's a burning hand and some laughing. The family wife becomes yet another bride and so does the family kid girl. And the family man gets a new job though not new knees. Aw crap!! We're supposed to be "writing out your own bad movie ideas" Sorry. I knew someone was going to do something like that. |
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Post by Bart Fargo on May 16, 2004 14:15:57 GMT -5
Front Porch
This film shows two old men sitting on a front porch. They live in a very small town and do very little. A sure-fire cure for insomnia.
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TomServo69
Moderator Emeritus 
Gone but not Forgotten
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Post by TomServo69 on May 16, 2004 14:24:50 GMT -5
Front Porch This film shows two old men sitting on a front porch. They live in a very small town and do very little. A sure-fire cure for insomnia. Would these two old gentlemen happened to be named Bartles and James? Those old coots owe me a buzz! Servo |
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Post by doctorz on Jun 1, 2004 10:09:17 GMT -5
The Ghost and the Castillo
In a modern day costal Florida town there are a bunch of guys who dress up every weekend to fire the cannons at the old Spanish Fort. During that summer there is an archeological dig near the moat. During the dig they find an old chest with a Castillian Spanish inscription warning not to open it, for there is "evil a thousand fold inside." When the archeological dig crew goes off for lunch, the most redneck cannoneer sneaks down to the site and breaks open the box. inside is a dark green bottle that is sealed and wrapped in a rosary. The cannoneer takes the bottle to the fort and using a screwdriver manages to break the top off the bottle. Out pops a ghost of a Spanish soldier who immediately posseses the mind of the cannoneer. Seems he was killed in a pirate raid and wants revenge. That evening the cannoneer goes to a recreated tavern and gets really drunk. The ghost hasn't had a buzz on in over 300 years so its like his first prioity. Next there are all sorts of misadventures with the cannoneers girlfriend and friends. The ghost doesn't know how to drive so he careens through a Wendy's parking lot and takes out a row of 6 cars (The obligatory car smash scene) One time he actually loads up the cannon for real and blows a hole in the side of a British yacht flying the Red Ensign, 'cause Spain and England were enemies back then. There is a rendezvous with whackiness when a Pirate Festival is held in town. His friends are then involved in the elaborate plan to capture all the pirates....or DEATH! Everybody thinks this guy is kidding and plays along until it gets way out of hand. Finally Sampson (The Mexican Wrestler from Sampson and the Vampire Women) is driving by in his sports car immediately sees what is goin on and jumps in to save the day. By using the Atomic Pile Driver and a St Barbara Candle the ghost is coreced into a half empty Mr.Pibb bottle and disposed of down an old well. Everybody waves Sampson goodby and godbless as the forts cannon boom in the distance.
The End
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Post by insomniac1551 on Jun 2, 2004 11:03:01 GMT -5
How about a movie about the affect of thinking? They are dangerous!!!
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colemanfrancisfan
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Post by colemanfrancisfan on Jun 6, 2004 13:44:57 GMT -5
Prison Bitches.
A hard nosed blonde gets sent up the river for a crime she didn't commit, but was too stupid to keep her grubby little fingers off the evidence. So she accepts her new life as a prison inmate with the other prisoners. Soon she starts a group called the Prison BITCHES and they go about informing people about Canola Oil and coffee brands that cause too much bloating. Soon the conflict comes in in the form of a chauvanistic cop who has his thumb up his butt permanently, and he's called BUTTerfinger. He complains about the air conditioning, and that little comment sets off the group of BITCHES, which stands for Blonde Inmates Taking Charge Hi! Everyone Society, and their elaborate plan to keep the temperature at 84 degrees goes into effect. First they break into the warden's office using Sandi's shiv, then they stay there. It ends with a prison dance party! Greydon Clark would be proud, I think.
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jun 6, 2004 14:21:06 GMT -5
A movie where everything explodes. Just one hundred and three minutes of explosions. Cars, trains, any thing. And then there would be some really hot babes in there too, but not exploding. Maybe riding on bikes that could explode. And the sad part is, this could make so much money at the box office.
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Post by Ator on Jun 8, 2004 22:26:11 GMT -5
A movie where everything explodes. Just one hundred and three minutes of explosions. Cars, trains, any thing. And then there would be some really hot babes in there too, but not exploding. Maybe riding on bikes that could explode. And the sad part is, this could make so much money at the box office. LMAO! Paging Michael Collins... My idea is The Matrix. Instead of the one we are all used to, this would instead be a trick. They would have those awesome previews, snippets on Entertainment Tonight, etc... BUT, when you go see it, it's only 30 seconds long. It's filmed on 8mm stock, with mono sound, and it's some hick pointing the camera at a dead fish on a plate. He says: "This is the Maytricks..." |
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jun 20, 2004 20:07:55 GMT -5
Freddy vs. Hulk HoganFreddy wants to terrorize the people of Elm Street once more but he can't since the parents of Springwood have found a way to make the kids forget about him while doping them up with dream suppressant Hypnocil. So he gets Hulk Hogan (who is in hell wrestling a match with The Giant Gonzales, this TORCHA is only for Hitler, Stalin and Pauley Shore) to go above ground to give kill to the kids of Elm Street since he is apparently imperviois to pain. Freddy sends him up but all Hogan does is give big boots and legdrops to the neighborhood and all he does is attack the Heenan Household. So Freddy goes above ground and attacks Hogan with a steel folding chair, therefore making the biggest turn on Hogan since Paul Orndoff (note: Freddy is in a long line of people that have turned on Hogan including- Paul Orndoff, Andre the Giant, Randy Savage, Tugboat, Typhoon, Sid Justice, Lex Luger, Jimmy Hart, Kevin Nash, Randy Savage (again), Eric Bischoff, Kevin Nash (again), and Scott Hall). So Freddy attacks Hogan with Jason's old chainsaw, Hogan no sells it and just shakes it off. Freddy then wraps dynamite on Hogan and explodes Hogan, but he no sells it and continues to dominate Freddy. Then Freddy buries Hogan alive but this is not a buried alive match (ala Austin vs. Undertaker from Rock Bottom) so Hogan no sells that and continues to beat down Freddy. Freddy then puts Hogan in a burning pit of Doom and Hogan no sells it again. Freddy hits Hogan with his trademark finisher the claw (not Kerry Von Erich's) and Hogan does a little cut on the top of his forehead (a "bladejob") but really no sells it again and shakes it off. Then Freddy comes up with the sickest torture of all, he makes Hogan watch his own matches, not the good ones, the ones from 1995 and beyond, including vs. Roddy Piper (ALL THREE TIMES!!!), vs. The Giant (ALL THREE TIMES!!!), vs. Vader, the Uncensored Triple Cage match, the "fast count" from Starcade and of course THE FINGERPOKE OF DOOM match. Then he gets even more in humane he makes Hulk Hogan watch Hulk Hogan movies!!! I'm getting sick typing this. Freddy then gets cocky like all the idiots that have faced Hogan and turns off the VCR. Hogan then HULKS UP BAY-BE, Freddie slashses him, Hogan no sells it, Freddie slashes him again, Hogan no sells it, Hogan blocks another Freddie slash and then hits "punches" of his own. For some reason Ric Flair who is wearing a dress runs in and gets beat up by Hogan, making this the 3148213098724097320948772109384721309487230984721093847210981st time that Flair has been made to look like and idiot in order to make Hogan look like a wrestling god. Big Boot and Legdrop finishes Freddy and Hogan wins the match. This movie was produced, written and directed by Eric Bischoff. 
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jun 20, 2004 20:31:54 GMT -5
How about Ed Wood directing Star Wars? BELA LUGOSI IS DARTH VADER! The Millenium Falcon being held up by some kite sting. Princess Leia wearing alot of angora. Tor Johnson plays Chewbaca. For some reason Han Solo loves to wear women's clothing. And of course it's all narrated by the amazing the amazing Criswell. Think of the opening narration- "Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, eons of your years before now, millions of miles away, long before this time, in a far off distant world..."
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Post by Railingkill on Jun 21, 2004 17:25:53 GMT -5
Freddy Vs The Giant Squid
Well, there's not much that can be said about this
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