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Post by Detective Mitchell on Mar 5, 2004 22:26:55 GMT -5
First off, this is my first post so "hi, all."
Now, to who I think should replace Mike: I do agree with Weird Al and Bruce Campbell (I can imagine a host segment with Crow again attempting to tunnel through space with the help of Bruce's chainsaw). I suggest that Pearl, for crimes against her planet (make up your own situation) is sentenced to go to the SOL and watch the films with Tom and Crow. Or maybe Jack Black or David Byrne (of the Talking Heads).
To anyone who is also on the Agony Booth forum, I am known as The Doctor.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Mar 11, 2004 21:20:57 GMT -5
Pearl. Hmmm....
First she's the loving mother who loves everyone but Clayton....
Then she's the mad, evil tyrant who hates pretty much everyone, but has sworn to avenge Clayton....
Now she's the third really-bland host on board the Satelite, now the test subject of the experiment started by Clayton....
This lady needs some therapy!
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Post by Mirkwood Lodge on Mar 12, 2004 20:30:54 GMT -5
No one new is brought in, Mike is simply replaced by the old, smoky AMC Loaner Crow who is cleverly disquised as Mike by wearing a blue jump suit. No mention is ever made that a switch took place.
Crow: So, Mike, how are you enjoying the movie so far?
Loaner Crow(smoking profusely): T-t-to be having good is f-f-f-fun.
Tom: Yeah, I hear you, man. I loved that part too.
Crow: Hey, Mike, I think Pearl's calling.
Loaner Crow(backfiring and smoking even more): Y-y-yes---- It is hap-p-p-py to be here.
Tom: Mike's right, Pearl, this movie will never break our will!
Crow: Uh-oh! We've got movie sign!
(All rush into the theatre, excluding Loaner Crow, who breaks down on the bridge.)
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Post by Mr. Atari on Mar 12, 2004 21:48:47 GMT -5
The best replacement for Mike would be your hero and mine, Rick Moranis.
Crow: What are you doing here?
Rick: I am the keymaster. Are you the gatekeeper?
Servo: Sure he is. You're the gatekeeper, right Crow?
Crow: Oh yeah....Sure I am. The evil gatekeeper.
Rick: That's good. Evil will always prevail, you know. Because good is dumb.
Servo: That's what Pearl keeps telling us.
Crow: So what did you do before you got sent up here?
Rick: I was like a one-man army, like Charlton Heston in "Omega Man." You ever see it? It was a beauty, eh?
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Mar 13, 2004 23:04:21 GMT -5
Mike should be replaced by "Your Host" from the MST3K Hour segments. I've never seen these famous (and allegedly hilarious) segments, but I get the feeling that "Your Host" would make the perfect, cheerful addition to the satelite. It'd make the opening theme song's introduction a bit difficult, though....
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Post by hypochrismutreefuzz on Apr 1, 2004 6:02:45 GMT -5
"Your Host" was a lame Jack Perkins impression played by Mike. So if we replace Mike with Jack Perkins we're replacing Mike with a character played by Mike. Just so you know for future reference.
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Post by hookemhorns on Apr 1, 2004 9:07:05 GMT -5
William .... Shatner .... and ... his ... dramatic ... pauses.
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Post by Detective Mitchell on Apr 1, 2004 12:55:03 GMT -5
William .... Shatner .... and ... his ... dramatic ... pauses. Great, now they'll have to bump up the running time of each episode from 1 1/2 hours to 4 hours.  |
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Apr 4, 2004 15:03:34 GMT -5
"Your Host" was a lame Jack Perkins impression played by Mike. So if we replace Mike with Jack Perkins we're replacing Mike with a character played by Mike. Just so you know for future reference. Ya. I know. I was just trying to be funny....seems that I failed again.... My dream of being a stand-up comic have been shattered. I have to work in the math-textbook mines like my father and his father before him now. |
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colemanfrancisfan
Moderator Emeritus 
Open wide, Lady Liberty. Because CFF is coming to America! Today!
Hey, ladies, I have all my teeth
Posts: 11,300
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Post by colemanfrancisfan on Apr 9, 2004 0:28:16 GMT -5
New host will be: Michael Jackson!
Michael: Hi everyone and welcome to the Satellite of Love. I know I'm in love with you two beautiful boys!
Tom: Uhh, I'm not a boy, I'm a mechanical garbage can that talks, but on the other hand, I think Crow here is what you're looking for.
Crow: If you're looking for a knee to the groin, then I'm your robot!
Michael: Don't be silly. As long as I'm up here for refuge from my accusers I'm going to enjoy myself with you guys.
Crow: Ok, just don't dangle me. I'm going to the load pan bay to get some mace from the vending machine. (exit)
Michael: I guess that leaves just you and me, my red dumpling. I once had a baboon which looked just like-
Tom: AAAA, get me outta here!! (exit)
Michael: We'll be right back. Hey, I want to show you something special! (fade out to rotating MST3K planet)
commercial break
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Apr 9, 2004 3:22:41 GMT -5
Larry David.
Larry: Hey! Who ate all my tomatoes!? Crow!?
Crow: Yeah, what's the big deal?
Larry: UH! How could you!?
Servo: Hey, calm down, Woody, they're jus-
Larry: THOSE WERE MY TOMATOES!!
(commercial sign)
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Post by al27 on Apr 9, 2004 9:56:56 GMT -5
Here, lets try Bruce Campbell.
Bruce: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the SOL, I'm new here, so I'll just be unpacking some things.
Crow: Whats in the box, Bruce?
Bruce: Oh, just some old props from some of my movies, look here, its the chainsaw from my Evil Dead trilogy.
Tom: And what would that be over there, Bruce.
Bruce: This would be the shotgun I used on the set of Army of Darkness.
Crow: Whats another word for Shotgun?
Bruce: Um, Firearm... uh, Boomstick, perhaps...
Tom: Good, lets go with that one, so what is it?
Bruce: Its a Boomstick.
Crow: No, no, no... say it with some ownership attached.
Bruce: Thats my Boomstick.
Crow: Close, close, now bring it to present tense.
Bruce: This is my...
Tom: He's gonna say it, he's gonna say it!
Bruce: Shotgun!
Crow and Tom: NOOOOOO!!! (They run off screaming)
Bruce: Ah, you got to mess with them every once and a while.
(Fades to commercial)
So, what do you think, sirs?
-al27
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