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Post by Bix Dugan on Sept 6, 2010 22:47:30 GMT -5
Rollergator 1996 Every time I think I've seen all of the worst movies ever, a new contender throws its hat into the ring. This one wears a mighty big hat. A young woman finds a talking baby alligator on the beach. He's hiding from Joe Estevez, owner of a small amusement park, who hopes to make a fortune by adding the gator to his freak show. Mr. Estevez sends a skateboarding female ninja after our rollerblading heroine. They skate around the LA drainage system while baby gator tosses out wisecracks. Eventually our heroine is assisted by a skating teen girl with a slingshot. Can they escape the evil ninja and deliver baby to Conrad Brooks of Plan 9 fame? You'll have to suffer through it like I did to find out. I suppose you could google it if you really wanted to know. But why would you? The story isn't really as good as I'm making it sound. The dialog is inane. I think much of it was made up on the fly. Fortunately the awful soundtrack frequently drowns it out. The girls are cute but the alligator is irritating and unbelievably fake. No one can act but in their defense they didn't really have anything to work with. I'm not sure if this was meant for kids or just a lame attempt at comedy but it is so inept that I totally enjoyed it. Wow. How do find these, Sky? I need to see this and those other Don Dohler movies. Are they PD? Can I get a copy from you?
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Post by Mod City on Sept 7, 2010 19:26:05 GMT -5
Had to work all day Labor Day, but rented a couple of movies on the way home just to say I did something halfway fun.
The Road I've never read the book, but I'd like to see if it has the same depressingly-uplifting kind of feel the film did. Viggo Mortensen is really pretty good in this, as is the kid. My only regret is that I heard how this movie ends on accident a few months back. Still liked it (and I would never have guessed that was Guy Pearce if I hadn't seen the credits). I'm also curious if the book ends as abruptly as the film - reminded me a lot of No Country For Old Men, which would make sense since it's based on a book by the same author.
Sherlock Holmes For what this was, it was fine. Had a hard time holding my attention toward the end, though that might have been the beer and the fact I had been sitting too long. I like Robert Downey Jr., but he's done better.
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Post by Satchmo on Sept 7, 2010 23:56:34 GMT -5
The Good, The Bad, The Weird - What is this movie about? Who cares? The important thing is that it's garunteed to be the most awesome thing you've ever seen. Buy it. Now.
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Post by Crowfan on Sept 8, 2010 19:49:29 GMT -5
Deep Evil. A group of scientists is Alaska clones an alien using research taken from Russia. Why? Someone in our government thought it would be a good idea. Naturally all Hell breaks loose and a Delta Team is sent to investigate. Lots of action and surprisingly not too silly. Recommended.
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Post by Frameous on Sept 8, 2010 20:47:00 GMT -5
Just saw Machete with some pals and it was a riot. The IMDb is aflame with racist talk about the plot and characters, but I think these people are forgetting that this is a movie and is just meant to be good fun. Even the usually dreadful like Segal and Lohan can't impede this flick's momentum. Dare I say it has to be some of the best work they have gotten in recent memory. I am hoping this paves the way to other fake trailers coming to feature length, especially Thanksgiving. The RoadI've never read the book, but I'd like to see if it has the same depressingly-uplifting kind of feel the film did. Viggo Mortensen is really pretty good in this, as is the kid. My only regret is that I heard how this movie ends on accident a few months back. Still liked it (and I would never have guessed that was Guy Pearce if I hadn't seen the credits). I'm also curious if the book ends as abruptly as the film - reminded me a lot of No Country For Old Men, which would make sense since it's based on a book by the same author. It's very faithful to the book and the end is pretty much dead on like No Country. I would suggest the book, but I do think it's darker. McCarthy's prose is so stripped down that the actors performing the characters automatically give things more humanity. The book is more cold and unforgiving. Judging by the way some people have been affected by the movie, reading the book might kill them It didn't bother me like it did others, but the scene with the thief was a little rough.
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Post by PimPamPet on Sept 8, 2010 20:52:41 GMT -5
Frankenstein (1910). The first translation of Frankenstein to the movie screen. It's absolutely fascinating to watch. Movies sure have come a long way in 100 years. :-) The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. After reading and hearing about this famous 1920's German "expressionist" film for years, I finally decided to look it up (there's a decent copy on archive.org) and give it a watch. It's pretty bizarre! I like how distorted and surreal everything looks. I don't want to give anything away, but the film has a very dreamlike atmosphere and a nice twist ending. Worth a look.
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Post by Skyroniter on Sept 9, 2010 12:47:36 GMT -5
Dogs 1976
Your regular old neighborhood pooches cop an attitude and turn on the human race. Watch Kindergarten kids menaced and old ladies chewed up by roving packs of dogs. The gore and actual screen violence is fairly mild but I found that the whole thing barked right up my tree. Worth a look.
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Post by Crowfan on Sept 9, 2010 17:20:11 GMT -5
Dogs 1976 Your regular old neighborhood pooches cop an attitude and turn on the human race. Watch Kindergarten kids menaced and old ladies chewed up by roving packs of dogs. The gore and actual screen violence is fairly mild but I found that the whole thing barked right up my tree. Worth a look. Brett's not allowed to see this one. ;D
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Post by Crowfan on Sept 10, 2010 18:52:16 GMT -5
Night Of The Dead. A German doctor experiments on frogs to try and bring them back to life. He succeeds, sort of. The frogs attack him. Then his wife and daughter are killed in a hit and run. So he decides to open up a private hospital and bring people back to life. While this normally sounds like something that I would enjoy, I didn't really like this film. I may have been in the wrong mood after a hard week at work, so may give it another chance.
Dead And Breakfast. Six friends on their way to a wedding stop in a small Texas town and then a murder happens. Then an army of the dead is unleashed and all Hell breaks loose. This thing was funny, gory, and a lot like "Shaun Of The Dead". Highly recommended.
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Post by Skyroniter on Sept 10, 2010 23:08:20 GMT -5
The Other Side of Bonnie and Clyde 1968
A rather solid documentary style movie by the one and only, Larry Buchanan. Its his answer to the Beatty and Dunaway version of the couple.
While only clocking in at an hour, Larry B. strips away the glamor to paint the Barrow gang as sadistic murderers. It also puts the focus on accomplished Texas Ranger Frank Hamer, who finally brings them to justice.
And its narrated by Burl Ives!
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Post by Mr. Atari on Sept 11, 2010 11:03:12 GMT -5
A friend dragged me to see Resident Evil last night. It was the worst movie I've seen in a long time. Every cliche was there without a hint of irony. First there was the Matrix rip-off opening scene, complete with a barrage of bullets in slo-mo from the bad guys whose clips never ran out and missed the heroine because she could do back flips off of the concrete pillars as the cement exploded around her. Then, there was the complete "Aliens" rip-off of the heroes stuck in a confined space while the evil entities snuck through the pipes. There was also a scene where an expendable hero joined the "dangerous trip to the armory" (I'm not kidding) for no reason at all besides to get picked off at the first sign of danger. And one of the heroes was a smarmy dickweed who eventually betrayed the others to join forces with the bad guy (couldn't see that coming ). Let's see...oh yeah, there was also the Harry Potter/LOTR rip-off scene where the heroines fight what's basically a troll in a bathroom. But only after the lead actress gets attacked while taking a shower (I kept saying, "Really? They're doing this scene? REALLY?"). Oh, and at the end, the bad guy gets his head blown apart and shot like 80 times, but...wait for it.... he's not really dead! GASP! And, oh, what a bad guy. The villain's performance was worse than the villain in Time Chasers. I'm not even kidding. His "acting" consisted of gritting his teeth, not moving his jaw when he spoke, and using the same voice as J.K. Robertson. The whole time, I kept waiting for him to say, "Matt, it's time for you to decide if you're one of my team players or not!" And then I came home and spent most of the night throwing up. Coincidence? Probably. But still... I can't wait for a Rifftrax for this. It was awful. Just awful.
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Post by Mighty Jack on Sept 11, 2010 12:45:39 GMT -5
^Yeah but did Mila kick butt? That's the real reason to watch these, not for an original plot silly... I was planning on going this weekend.
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Post by Mr. Atari on Sept 11, 2010 13:17:11 GMT -5
^Yeah but did Mila kick butt? That's the real reason to watch these, not for an original plot silly... I was planning on going this weekend. I honestly couldn't tell you. I was far too distracted by the terrible acting and the stunning number of cliches. I'm actually tempted to write my own rifftrax to this. It was that bad. Just overwhelmingly derivative and idiotic.
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Post by PimPamPet on Sept 11, 2010 22:08:25 GMT -5
Raging Bull. One of my favorite movies. First time I've seen it in HD.
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Post by Skyroniter on Sept 11, 2010 23:57:49 GMT -5
Cemetery of Terror 1985
Mexican flick incorporates many of the elements used in the Friday the 13th and Halloween series. Not good enough or bad enough to be very interesting so it didn't do much for me.
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