Her Life Changed and I missed it

[mrsphyllistorgo]

So there's this former friend. I haven't talked to her in ages, ever since I found out that she adopted a baby FROM HER BLOG, sent her a nice gift anyway, got no response, called to make sure she'd recieved it, (she had) and still heard nothing. So, okay, we've drifted apart.

I looked up her blog today out of random curiosity to see if there were any baby pics, and found out my friend's mother had died suddenly, five months ago.

So, what do I do? Not to fix it or anything like that, obviously, but this is major and very terrible, and I want her to know I'm thinking of her. My first impulse was to call, but I didn't want her to have to randomly deal with thinking of her mom's death out of nowhere while talking to someone she hasn't spoken to in a year. My husband advised doing nothing and letting sleeping dogs lie, but that feels wrong. Her mother died!

I've decided to purchase a nice card and write that I just heard the awful news, and I'm so sorry, etc. Does that sound like a good idea? Or is my husband right?

Wow, the internet bites you in the ass.

[Skyroniter]

I suggest waking up the sleeping dogs and having them attack her. Sounds like she really isn't your friend

[crowschmo]

I think you can send her the card. No need to stoop to her level. If she wants to ignore you and be a jerk that's her problem. You're just being thoughtful.

[Double 007]

I'd say it depends on how close you yourself were to the mother.

[Bix Dugan]

Send the card.

[Chuck]

A nice sympathy card, simply signed, would be perfect.

[Skyroniter]

I feel really insensitive thanks to you guys.

[Mr. Atari]

Maybe she's not insensitive, maybe she's just busy and/or forgetful.

I tend to be pretty low maintenance myself, which is fine for most people who know me. But there are some who have expectations of correspondence and interaction with me that get frustrated because I don't meet their expectations. I wonder if they think I'm a lazy jerk because I don't prioritize the same things in a friendship that they do, but I don't feel particularly guilty about it, either.

In other words, if your friend is like me (and I know I am), she's not intentionally blowing you off and would be very moved by a card. Possibly even moved enough to reciprocate some interaction.

[MonsterX]

Oh just send her the card. It'll be a super nice thing to do and it'll make you feel happy. =)

[mrsphyllistorgo]

I bought the card and am mailing it today. Hope it makes her feel better.

[(busdrivertohell)]

Any word?