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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 4, 2010 17:56:19 GMT -5
 I just got a great little book called Christmas Curiosities: Odd, Dark, and Forgotten Christmas by John Grossman. It's a collection of mainly Victorian greeting cards from England and America. And they seem largely designed to disturb. I had to share. So I scanned in some of my favorites. We'll go by theme. First, let's go with the fun stuff. There was a period when Santa/Father Christmas would dole out punishment to the "naughty" kids rather than just put them on the naughty list and not leave them presents. This actually had a long tradition that went back to an even earlier tradition where St. Nicholas would travel with a devil named Krampus who would play evil tricks on bad kids. (So our own MST's little devil actually has something of a pedigree.) But once the devil became a bit too hardcore, they switched just to images of Santa or Father Christmas carrying bundles of switches:  Sometimes he'd just leave them so that the kids' parents could use them. But other times, Santa got in on the fun himself...  Sometimes, a spanking isn't enough. You've just got to tie those rugrats to a tree and get busy!  But, of course, beatings can be a little harsh. So Santa'd just stuff bad kids in his bag. What he'd do with them afterward is left up to your imagination:   My favorite pictures, though, have to be the ones that are obviously trying to show kids that it's better to be on his good side rather than his bad. So you end up with pictures like this where he seems to be both good and evil at the same time. To me, this is even creepier since it's like making you want to go get candy from the dude who's torturing a puppy. It's just all kinds of wrong:  Anyway, I've got a ton more. We've got just creepy Santa pictures, messed up greeting cards, even a little fun holiday racism. Stay tuned... |
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Post by The Mad Plumber on Dec 4, 2010 18:35:45 GMT -5
You know, given the way I've seen some kids act today, I'd like to see a Santa with a big bamboo stick! Pound their asses, Santa!
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Post by KyrieEleison on Dec 4, 2010 19:01:10 GMT -5
That one where he's got the kid tied to the tree makes him look like the Travelocity Roaming Gnome. "Book with Travelocity, or I'll beat this kid to within an inch of his life!"
At least he has the decency to look a little sad... or maybe he's depressed, as in "This is what my life has come to?"
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Post by angilasman on Dec 4, 2010 20:05:22 GMT -5
Have you heard about Rare Exports? It's a Finnish horror film being released in the U.S. right now based on the older, grisly Santa myths. The director already did two short films (just search Rare Exports on Youtube). Hopefully the feature length version is good too.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 4, 2010 20:07:55 GMT -5
Just a couple more for fun that didn't really fit a theme. These were two that I just didn't particularly understand. I'm not sure that I want to.   Why is there a man in a tree? Why is he lighting Santa's cigar with his own? Why is the tree man kissing a snow man? Why was this apparently an ongoing theme? Why? WHY? WHY!?!?!?!?!? |
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Post by Don Quixote on Dec 4, 2010 20:29:23 GMT -5
Anthropomorphic Christmas Trees must've been a fetish years ago. I think we stumbled into some weirdo's fap material.
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Post by GodoHell on Dec 4, 2010 21:30:27 GMT -5
FACT: Anthropomorphic Christmas trees always have wood.  |
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Post by The Mad Plumber on Dec 4, 2010 22:21:15 GMT -5
I guess we can call those who are obsessed with anthropomorphic trees "fernies".
Stop hitting me.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Dec 4, 2010 22:49:26 GMT -5
These are all incredible. People way back when were just screwed up. I really want to print this one out for my Christmas cards this year, just to convince all my relatives I've gone off the deep end. |
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Post by mccloud on Dec 4, 2010 23:13:07 GMT -5
This is so wrong on so many levels. Thank you, mummi, for giving me another valid reason to hate Christmas.  |
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 4, 2010 23:42:29 GMT -5
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Post by siamesesin on Dec 5, 2010 9:45:45 GMT -5
I just want to point out that, by priority of freakiness, Mumms posted the kiddie abuse first. What does that say about HIM?
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 5, 2010 11:39:18 GMT -5
I just want to point out that, by priority of freakiness, Mumms posted the kiddie abuse first. What does that say about HIM? I suppose that could be a good thing...? I think child abuse is worse than historically embarrassing stereotypes? I can live with that. ;D |
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Post by siamesesin on Dec 5, 2010 12:59:58 GMT -5
I just think you like drawings of little boys being spanked.
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Post by Ratso on Dec 5, 2010 14:10:02 GMT -5
[ Sometimes, a spanking isn't enough. You've just got to tie those rugrats to a tree and get busy! . It's weird seeing Santa with no snow around. |
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