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Post by Don Quixote on Apr 20, 2011 21:01:05 GMT -5
Think about it:
Fred and Barney work in the same place. They do similar jobs, and probably have the same salary. Barney has a gorgeous (by Hanna Barbera standards) wife who cooks for him. Barney probably has more than enough money to purchase pebbles for himself if he really wanted them. Then he wouldn't have to come up with numerous, often expensive ploys to obtain Fred's pebbles. Barney is spending himself into poverty by buying elaborate costumes (such as the C-D Rapper costume) to obtain something that you can get for two bucks on sale at the grocery store. Or, in prehistoric money, "eight shells and a crotch squeeze". Bam-Bam and Hoppy probably roam the neighborhood half-feral digging through trash cans for food, while Betty cries herself to sleep every night, and fears every phone call, because it's probably a creditor asking when her husband is going to repay his eight trillion crotch-squeeze debt to them for all the costumes he's rented and skipped out on returning.
And yet, EVERY time Fred has pebbles, Barney just HAS to have them. He could buy enough pebbles for his ENTIRE F*CKING FAMILY for the cost of just ONE of his half-baked, yet successful attempts at gaining Fred's pebbles.
Fruity pebbles taste like ass. The end.
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Post by GodoHell on Apr 20, 2011 21:46:21 GMT -5
SHE'S A BABY YOU SICK Foooh you mean the cereal.
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Post by Don Quixote on Apr 20, 2011 21:56:14 GMT -5
GODO, MAH PEBBUHLS!
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Post by Don Quixote on Apr 20, 2011 21:59:19 GMT -5
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Torgo
Moderator Emeritus 
-segment with Crow?
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Torgo on Apr 20, 2011 22:10:21 GMT -5
Same reason that Rabbit never bought any Trix of his own, always content on stealing from children. It's a sick habit for both of them. They are currently in rehab seeking help.
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Post by Don Quixote on Apr 20, 2011 22:33:22 GMT -5
Yeah, but the Trix rabbit was a rabbit, with no employment and no concept of money. Barney knows about money and the concept of ownership, and just throws that to the side because he wants to steal his neighbor (and best friend, for god's sake)'s cereal.
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Post by Ratso on Apr 20, 2011 22:55:34 GMT -5
Little did you know that if Fred eats the pebbles millions will die.
Years ago we sent our best agent Vladimir Khruschev (code name Barney) on top secret mission into the past to make sure Flintstone did not eat the dreaded pebbles. Why? BECAUSE we learned that Al Qaeda had found a way to make the pebbles into bombs that would only explode if Fintstone ate them. So now everyday (probably for the rest of his life) agent Khruschev fights a heroic battle to save millions.
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Post by Don Quixote on Apr 20, 2011 23:02:48 GMT -5
God bless Agent Rubble, of the nondescript secret service. In my ignorance, I did not know of all the lives he's saved.
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Post by Ratso on Apr 20, 2011 23:08:48 GMT -5
This thread should be locked now.
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Post by Mr. Atari on Apr 21, 2011 1:07:28 GMT -5
This thread should be locked now. Says the guy with the Hamburglar avatar. You're a burglar. You could steal anything. Why settle for styrofoam-tasting, rubbery, meat-like substance with a pickle slice? Way to shoot for the top. Then again, where would you fence all the more lucrative loot? The cops are watching those fry guys pretty closely since that near miss with the black market kidneys. And you're probably hungry, being that you're broke from paying Grimace all that child support; and you no longer qualify for the food stamps or welfare, what with your felony conviction on ungulate sex trafficking. Or that time you only had implied verbal consent from Major League Baseball. Plus, you're a dirty foreigner. |
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Post by GodoHell on Apr 21, 2011 7:47:41 GMT -5
So if we're gonna talk cereal, here's my question:
Why is the cereal that loud-mouth tiger recommends not meat-flavored?
If you offered a tiger a bowl of corn flakes, it would literally bite the hand that feeds it....and keep going.
Y'know, that's probably the real story behind the Siegfried and Roy "tragedy."
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Post by siamesesin on Apr 21, 2011 8:00:12 GMT -5
All cereal mascots are psychologically scarred. Half of them are kleptos, and the other half act like junkies.
The most wholesome bunch seem to be Snap, Crackle, and Pop. But I'm sure you can guess what they get up to.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Apr 21, 2011 8:02:20 GMT -5
Y'know, that's probably the real story behind the Siegfried and Roy "tragedy." Siegfried and Roy were just a lavish front for Kellogg's underground quality control racket? That seems needlessly complex. |
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Post by BJ on Apr 21, 2011 8:36:42 GMT -5
All cereal mascots are psychologically scarred. Half of them are kleptos, and the other half act like junkies. Even the generic mascots have that problem. My personal favorite, the Walmart honey nut bees, are clearly hopped up on goofballs.  |
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Post by siamesesin on Apr 21, 2011 12:22:24 GMT -5
Even the generic mascots have that problem. My personal favorite, the Walmart honey nut bees, are clearly hopped up on goofballs. Not only that, but they're wearing black-and-white-striped outfits and flying off with the Nut Spins. So they've likely been in lockdown with the Cookie Thief (which would explain their fondness for Nut Spins to begin with). |
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