Post by mummifiedstalin on Nov 8, 2011 0:37:43 GMT -5
(Since I've spent all my spare time on Cub Scouts lately...)
Okay, settle down boys. It's time for the opening flag ceremony. Ratso, that's not the flag holder, and you won't be able to sit down like that.
Now, whose turn is it to carry the flag? Settle down, settle down, you'll all get a turn...and, yes, we'll wash Ratso' fecal matter off first, sia. Pull your panties back up.
DQ. I thought so. Now, wait until I say "Color guard advance." No, that's not a racial slur. No, we can't go beat up African Americans, that's against our Sloane Scout Promise, especially the "won't flapjacksing double down on no NegROS" line.
Okay, hold it up straight. Higher. Higher. If it touches the floor we'll have to burn...DAMMIT! Fine. Mitchell, go start the campfire. At least one of you cretins is vaguely competent.
Sure, Ratso, we'll say the Sloane Scout Promise instead, but I know you just want to do it because you think the middle finger salute is funny rather than a sign of our inherent mediocrity. Whatever.
I promise to do my best
To do my doodie
On God and Country.
To con other people
And to obey the law of the pack.
So, let's say the law of the pack. (And, Godo, let go of Ratso. His face is blue, and that erection is worrisomely large.)
A Sloane Scout stalks his leader.
A Sloane Scout helps the Pack blow.
The Pack helps the Sloane Scout buy blow.
A Sloane Scout gives good head.
Alright, some of you tried to make that dirty, but whatever. At least you remember it this time.
And what's our motto? "Do your best?" No, good try, Mitchell. And nice fire, but I really meant outside. But, what's the motto, everyone?
BARE YOUR BREASTS!
Good job. So sia? McCloud? DQ? Time to live up to the motto. By the way, we're changing the Pinewood Derby this year. You guys are going to be the finish line. I'll explain later....
Okay, settle down boys. It's time for the opening flag ceremony. Ratso, that's not the flag holder, and you won't be able to sit down like that.
Now, whose turn is it to carry the flag? Settle down, settle down, you'll all get a turn...and, yes, we'll wash Ratso' fecal matter off first, sia. Pull your panties back up.
DQ. I thought so. Now, wait until I say "Color guard advance." No, that's not a racial slur. No, we can't go beat up African Americans, that's against our Sloane Scout Promise, especially the "won't flapjacksing double down on no NegROS" line.
Okay, hold it up straight. Higher. Higher. If it touches the floor we'll have to burn...DAMMIT! Fine. Mitchell, go start the campfire. At least one of you cretins is vaguely competent.
Sure, Ratso, we'll say the Sloane Scout Promise instead, but I know you just want to do it because you think the middle finger salute is funny rather than a sign of our inherent mediocrity. Whatever.
I promise to do my best
To do my doodie
On God and Country.
To con other people
And to obey the law of the pack.
So, let's say the law of the pack. (And, Godo, let go of Ratso. His face is blue, and that erection is worrisomely large.)
A Sloane Scout stalks his leader.
A Sloane Scout helps the Pack blow.
The Pack helps the Sloane Scout buy blow.
A Sloane Scout gives good head.
Alright, some of you tried to make that dirty, but whatever. At least you remember it this time.
And what's our motto? "Do your best?" No, good try, Mitchell. And nice fire, but I really meant outside. But, what's the motto, everyone?
BARE YOUR BREASTS!
Good job. So sia? McCloud? DQ? Time to live up to the motto. By the way, we're changing the Pinewood Derby this year. You guys are going to be the finish line. I'll explain later....
