TomServo69
Moderator Emeritus 
Gone but not Forgotten
Nothing ever changes........
Posts: 5,467
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Post by TomServo69 on May 9, 2004 0:45:49 GMT -5
I know this is a morbid ass thread, but, in light of recent situations, it must be asked. Tonight, 5/08/2004, I recieved a very disturbing phone call. One of my students had wrecked his vehicle and was killed on impact. Needless to say, I'm crushed. To see such a bright young life extinguished so early, I don't know what to say or do. So, to get to my point, how would you guys react? Or, how have you guys responded to death in the past? What are your thoughts?
Help me get through this. It's really distressing.
Servo
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Post by cornjob on May 9, 2004 0:59:26 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about that.Eight years ago I had a very close friend die the same way.I dont know how to explain the way I felt. Confused I guess, because I had never dealt with that with someone so young. It's one of those things that will go away in time.
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Post by Ator on May 9, 2004 1:02:48 GMT -5
Hey man,
Damn, i'm so sorry. Losing a friend is always tough.
I had my father die when I was 13, and, while it was tough, I had my step-father John, who has become like a new father, help me through. He became the coolest dad you could ever wish for.
Loss is always tough, but life goes on. Don't let it hold you back.
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Post by Unsavory on May 9, 2004 1:02:52 GMT -5
That's definitely going to be a tough thing to work through, and I don't know that I can really offer any kind of worthwhile advice.
I think the most important thing to do is help the students understand that there are people to talk to if they have trouble coming to terms with what happened. Maybe sit down and talk personally to a few of the students to make sure they're doing okay.
I guess if there's anything positive about the situation it's that the whole class will have each other for support over the trying times to come. Nobody has to be alone in their pain. I've lost a classmate before, and it really puts things in perspective. While I never felt invincible as a high school student, I still never expected something like that to happen. It just sorta takes you by shock and you have to kind of question your own mortality and existence while mourning the death of someone you knew. As tragic as this is, hopefully someone can learn something from it about mortality and about the very real dangers we face every day.
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Post by Mr. Atari on May 9, 2004 1:03:02 GMT -5
Sorry to hear the news.
In my job, I deal with death on a semi-regular basis. I've performed my share of funerals and there are always two commonalities to every one.
1- Death sucks.
2- Death happens to us all.
And I'm pretty sure they're related.
I usually counsel families to grieve without shame. It needs to run its course. Even though evidence proves that 100% of the population will die, it still comes as a shock. In fact, that's one of the reasons I believe there's a God. If there was no meaning in life, why would something as universal as death always feel so "wrong"?
What was his name? I'd like to pray for his family (and for you and your other students). I know that sounds hokey to some of you, but it's what I do.#nosmileys
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Post by Ator on May 9, 2004 1:05:35 GMT -5
Oh pooey, I forgot to mention that. Yes, I will pray for them too.
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Post by marytrobot on May 9, 2004 4:40:55 GMT -5
I recall after my friend committed suicide, I spent a night in absolute greif, and the next day I couldn't get my mind off of it. My sister forced me out of the house and all day we did things so I couldn't dwell on it. I believe it's important to morn about and reflect on it, but not to much, I'm sure if I had I would have ended up going in circles and killing myself. Call up a friend and ask him to force you to do something.
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colemanfrancisfan
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Open wide, Lady Liberty. Because CFF is coming to America! Today!
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Post by colemanfrancisfan on May 9, 2004 7:35:10 GMT -5
I have no advice. When I was in high school a girl I knew only little bit committed suicide, and the whole school was in mourning. We were a Catholic HS so lots of people went to see the chaplains and priests, and we had a service to remember her. I felt disconnected. I knew it was a tragedy that a pretty and nice girl killed herself, but I never cried. I wanted to get back to class in the honest truth. That sounds really callous, but I just wanted to move on. Now whenever people die who I sort of knew once, I just say, that's a shame, and then I move on. I guess I'm lucky that the people I'm closest to haven't died. And I do have a habit of burning bridges with my ties to grade school, HS, college, former jobs, basically everything that's not on my mind, so that when a classmate comes up to me on the street it takes a while for me to remember them, even if I knew them really well back then. Sorry to hear about your loss, Servo, I hope you are able to deal with the grief. And I hope that my words aren't totally useless (maybe they should be  ). |
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yousonuva
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I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
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Post by yousonuva on May 9, 2004 8:22:59 GMT -5
Never been in that position but I dread it happening sometimes. I'm sorry for you and especially his close friends and relatives. It's not my own death that I fear so much as someone I care about so I try not to think about it. But you're in that situation right now and though it's very dark right now, it'll change day by day, I'm sure.
Not to sound idiocratic but I believe you and the other students will become better people for having gone through it, where it seems the best kind of people have seen the worst of things. In one hand it's a dtrimental experiance but on the other it's a learning one as well.
Maybe you can write a song or poem about him.
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Post by marytrobot on May 9, 2004 8:36:45 GMT -5
I also forgot to mention that you should try to keep a close eye on the kids of your class. Highschool as we a ll know is a hard place. Deaths like this can send others into depression, and we all know where that can lead.
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Post by nightfalcawk on May 9, 2004 8:53:43 GMT -5
I know this doesn't count as a death, but the day I heard my grandpa had Alziemers was kinda like death. He used fo be so intelligent and now he can't remember where he is. When I learned this I stayed awake without sleep for about week or two. I cried too.
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Post by marytrobot on May 9, 2004 8:58:07 GMT -5
I know this doesn't count as a death, but the day I heard my grandpa had Alziemers was kinda like death. He used fo be so intelligent and now he can't remember where he is. When I learned this I stayed awake without sleep for about week or two. I cried too. alziemers, I think that would frighten me more, if i had it, it would be horrid to forget people things, it would be like losing some of myself. and then if someone that was close to me had it, they could forget all about me, and it would be like i never exsisted in their world. i don't know which would be worse. |
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Post by nightfalcawk on May 9, 2004 9:08:10 GMT -5
alziemers, I think that would frighten me more, if i had it, it would be horrid to forget people things, it would be like losing some of myself. and then if someone that was close to me had it, they could forget all about me, and it would be like i never exsisted in their world. i don't know which would be worse. We used to be close too. He hardly notices me if my grandma doesn't point it out. Things I had for a while he thinks are new. It's scary for everyone. BTW, this belongs in Coleman Francis Mountain. |
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Post by marytrobot on May 9, 2004 9:12:29 GMT -5
BTW, this belongs in Coleman Francis Mountain. Your right, but I have no power in that area, bug yousonuva or someone like that. |
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Post by TV's Cowboy on May 9, 2004 11:00:33 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about that news because death happening to a loved one does suck. My dad who I was like best friends with died a couple of years ago from cancer and it bummed me out to no end but me and my family got through it. I wish you the best of luck with copping with his loss and I hope his family gets through it okay.
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