(Seven days later.
Joel is sitting on the couch in Mike's appartment with Tom and Crow by his sides. They are watching TV, suddenly Mike walks through the doorway)
Mike: Hey guys! I'm back from the video store!
Joel: Great! I'm glad I decided to move in with you guys. It was getting boring living without my robot pals.
Tom: And we're glad to have you Joel.
Joel: There's one thing I don't get though. Why was this story titled "The Revelation?" There wasn't anything revealed in this story whatsoever.
Mike: That's a good point.
Crow: Well...maybe the revelation is "the Sci-Fi Channel sucks." After all, if they never cancelled us, we wouldn't be in this damn story.
Tom: Well, we knew that for years. I mean honestly, was there any show they had that they treated worse than us?
(suddenly, as if on cue, a vortex opens right in the living room. Quinn Mallory pops out. Followed by Wade Welles. Then Professor Maximillian Arturo. The last member of the team, Rembrandt Brown, flies out and tackles Arturo. The vortex closes)
Arturo: Damnit Mr. Brown! I told you once, I told you a thousand times, I am not your own personal landing pad! (gets up and stares at the kitchen) Hey! Eats!
(Arturo runs to the kitchen and immedatley buries his face into the freezer)
Crow: Um...Mike? Do you really want John Rhys-Davies in our kitchen?
Mike: Why not? He's better than Joe Don Baker.
Crow: Point taken.
Quinn: (looking around) Nothing too odd so far. Do you think we're home?
Wade: I don't know. We should probably look outside.
Quinn: Shut up, Wade. I was talking to Remmy.
Rembrandt: Maybe Q-Ball. (looks at timer) But we got 30 seconds to find out.
Quinn: (to Mike) Hey you! Is this Earth Prime?
Mike: Yeah, sure. Why not?
Quinn: Good enough for me.
(Quinn takes the timer from Rembrant and throws it out the window)
Wade: Quinn! What are you doing? We might not be home!
Quinn: Shut up, Wade.
Wade: I love you, Quinn.
Quinn: I said shut up!
Wade: Now I hate you! You're the biggest jerk ever and I want you dead!
Quinn: Don't make me say it again!
Wade: I didn't mean it Quinn! Please don't die! I love you too damn much!
Rembrandt: Sweetheart, isn't it time for your medication? (hands Wade a pill jar)
Wade: Ooh! Yay! (takes the pill jar and runs into the kitchen)
(Quinn sits down on the couch)
Joel: You're kinda harsh on her, aren't you?
Quinn: Look at it this way, we've done 88 episodes, 49 with her, and about 3 of them aknowledge that she's even alive let alone on our team. If she figures this out, she'll start bitching about how she's underused. We'll never hear the end of it.
Tom: That brings up another question, what are you doing here anyway?
Rembrandt: Well the Sci-Fi channel paid some loser over the internet to write a reunion story for you guys after continuous bomb threats were made to them. When the same thing happened after they canned our show, they decided to kill two birds with one stone and asked the guy to include us in the story for closure to our show. So you guys get the bulk of the story and we get this lame bumper at the end.
Tom: Yeah, but why are
these guys here? Last time we saw you guys Jackass, Ms. Perky, and Sallah weren't even part of the group. You were stuck with the chick with the freaky lips you picked up in season 3, the gal who stood around and did nothing but technobabble, and that guy who took comic lessons from Carrot Top.
Rembrandt: Six beautiful words: "So it was all a dream!"
Quinn: So what are you guys doing?
Mike: Well, I just rented some movies.
Quinn: Cool! Can we stick around?
Mike: Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Rembrandt: What did you rent?
Mike: Some flick called the Matrix.
Quinn: Alright! I've seen that! It's got everything! Guns, Keanu Reeves, Robots, Kung Fu, Carrie Anne Moss in tight leather pants...it's the best movie ever!
Joel: Wait a minute! Keanu Reeves? As in "Be excelent to each other" Keanu Reeves? Screw that! What else did you rent?
(Mike looks in the bag at the movies he brought home: Speed, Point Break, and Bill and Ted's Excelent Adventure)
Mike: Nothing.
Quinn: Dude! Why are you badmouthing Keanu? Bill and Ted kicks ass!
Joel: Oh, right, like I'm really gonna take movie advice from the guy who starred in Joe's Apartment.
Quinn: That's an underrated classic. Time will tell on that.
Rembrandt: Quit BSin'.
Quinn: OK, OK, but we all made a carrer mistake, at least once in our professional careers. Professor over there was in those crappy Canadian Lost World movies and you............do you even have a career?
Wade: (walking out of the kitchen) I was on Sports Night!
Quinn: Quit bragging. Look at where that show ended up. Canned after two seasons. (he looks back at Wade, who starts crying) Aw damnit. Not again. Jeeze girl, you flood more than a toilet after Arturo uses it.
Arturo: (from kitchen) I heard that!
(suddenly, the door bursts off of its hinges. Agent Antonio Banderas enters the room)
Agent Banderas: Now we shall end this!
Mike: Um...the war is over you know.
Agent Banderas: It is? Sh*t. I walked all the way over here for nothing.
Joel: Well we're just watching a movie if you'd like to join us.
Agent Banderas: Really? Cool! What're we watching?
(fade out. We hear Kari Wurhur singing Tight Pants and the credits rise)
The End
Agent Banderas....................Antonio Banderas
Richard Basehart.................................Himself
Gypsy...................................Patrick Brantseg
Jerry Bruckheimer................................Himself
Bruce Campbell...................................Himself
Hugo..................................David Charlesworth
Crow T. Robot................................Bill Corbett
Morpheus.......................................Bill Corbett
Rembrandt Brown..................Cleavant Derricks
Great Vorelli...............................Byant Haliday
Joel Robinson.............................Joel Hodgson
Trinity........................................Bridget Jones
Wade Welles.............................Sabrina Lloyd
Tom Servo..................................Kevin Murphy
Mike Nelson.........................Michael J. Nelson
Quinn Mallory...........................Jerry O'Connell
Phantom............................................Joji Oka
Oricle.........................................Mary Jo Pehl
Torgo........................................John Reynolds
Professor Maximillian Arturo...John Rhys-Davies
Agent Sandler............................Adam Sandler
In loving memory of
for wasting countless hours of my life.