Post by Zeal on Jan 27, 2006 2:53:24 GMT -5
Megaman Science Theater 3000
Ranma, King of Games. By Animeprime.
Msting by Zack Strife.
Episode 1001
Part 1
Bass and Megaman are teleported onto the SOL. They see a green haired elf with a blue headband greet them. "Oh hello, welcome to the Satellite of Love. My name is Zack Strife, the captain of this ship." Megaman and Bass stare blankly at him, "You seem different from how I remember you." Megaman and Bass's bodies were much simpler then what Zack remembered.
"What the HELL is going on?!" Bass was really angry, "What the hell has happened to my body?!"
"That is a good question." inquired Megaman.
"And what the hell is he doing here?!" Bass didn't seem to pleased with these events. Zack just sighs.
"Well, as far I know. You where sent here to be my crew." said Zack, "As for your bodies...I have no idea."
"Just who sent us here?" asked Megaman.
"I have no idea." Zack scratched his head. Megaman and Bass facefault, "Some guy named Mr.X."
"Grrr.... my beautiful powerful body has been reduced to this piece of crap." Bass didn't like being weak, "And I am stuck with these two."
"Let me show you around the ship." Zack led the two around the ship, and gave them a brief tour.
"Last, but not least, the holodeck is that large door over there, and this is the Bridge."
The large screen in front of the room turns on. A dark shadow appears on the screen. It says, "Hello Megaman and Bass, I hope you find the accommodations comfortable."
Zack replies, "And here are the Mads."
Megaman replies, "Fine, I guess, what happened to us? Why send us here?"
"Yes, HOW DARE YOU ALTER MY BODY IN SUCH A WAY!!!" screamed Bass, "I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!!!"
"Jeepers Bass, calm down." replied Zack, tries to calm Bass down.
"Your bodies were destroyed by my ultimate creation, so I built you these new ones so you could keep Zack company." replied the shadow.
"Just who are you, really?" asked Megaman.
"You'll find out, soon or a later." said the shadow, "Now for today's experiment."
"Experiment?" asked Megaman and Bass. Zack was able to calm Bass down.
"It is when Mr. X makes us read bad fanfics. Last week he sent me a Yuu Yuu Hakusho, Inu-Yasha crossover, complete with self insertion!" said Zack. Megaman and Bass bug eye.
"Today's experiment is a Ranma 1/2 and Yu-gi-oh crossover, enjoy. Canti send them the fanfic."
"Yes sir!" says Canti.
The alarm goes off.
"Great, fanfic time." said Zack. The three run to the theater.
The three sit down, Megaman is on the right, Bass is on the left, and Zack is in the middle.
<Bass: Great, Yu-gi-oh. Friendship speeches all-round!
Ranma, King of Games
<Zack: Wait... does this mean the author is making Ranma like Yugi?!
<Megaman: It's seems so.
<Bass: I think things got a lot worse.
<Megaman: Bass, you shouldn't judge a fanfic before reading it.
Disclaimer.
<Bass: I am not really human, I am really SATAN!
<Megaman: BASS!
I don’t own Ranma or Yugioh,
<Bass: Thank God.
<Megaman: Bass...
<Bass: Just shut up.
and my dads a lawyer and I’m still a minor so don’t try to sue.
<Megaman: <Author> Though he isn't the type of lawyer that actually deals with that type of thing.
<Bass: <Author> And he got this degree in a box of Cracker Jacks.
<Zack: Not like anyone would try to sue you anyway.
Chapter one.
<Bass: It was after the Armageddon!
Ranma walked among the various stalls at Furinkins fundraiser bazaar. It was mostly junk that people wanted to get rid of
<Zack: <Ranma> Let's see.... some old Natural Geographic...
<Bass: <Ranma> Some old Apple computers....
<Megaman: <Ranma> A nuclear bomb from the once USSR....
<Zack: <Ranma> And some US stamps with an upside down airplane.
and very little was actually worth anything
<Zack: <Ranma> Hmm.... A vase from the Ming dynasty.
but it was still fun just walking around and seeing his friends. A glint of gold suddenly caught his
<Megaman: It was just a candy wrapper though.
eye and he walked over to a stall selling jewelry.
<Bass: <Ranma> I should become a transvestite.
Akane’s birthday was coming up and if he didn’t get her something he knew that she and their fathers would have a fit.
<Megaman: He would up with most of his body broken.
<Man my life sucks.>
<Bass: Not asbad as mine, I stuck with these two ninnies.
<Zack: Bu- but Bass you just meet me.
“You could probably change all that if you were a little more decisive.”
Bass: <Old man> Kill them all.
“Huh?” Ranma looked at the old man running the stall curiously. He snorted and spoke.
<Megaman: Ranma fell into the spring of the drowned pig now?
“Don’t mind me young man,
<Zack: <Old man>Please, help your self to anything in the stall.
I’ve been over the hill so many times that I sometimes just speak my mind.”
<Megaman: Uhh...okay.
<Bass: Nice way to win over new customers. You might as well say, “BOY THESE ITEMS ARE EXPENSIVE.”
A normal person would have been nervous being around a person that could obviously read minds
<Megaman: So Ranma is perfectly okay with it.?
<Zack: Maybe he has the millennium eye?
but Ranma defiantly wasn’t normal and it was Nermena after all.
<Zack: Nermena is a crazy wacky land.
Looking over the various jewelry his eyes landed upon a box holding pieces of broken gold metal.
<Megaman: Looks like you were right Zack.
<All: Sigh.
<I guess that’s useless.>
<Zack: You just melt the metal in a new shape.
“I wouldn’t say that sonny, that there is the millennium puzzle.”
<Zack: So I was right!
<Bass: Dammit!
<Zack: Wait, can't Ranma tell the difference between something broken, and something in puzzle pieces?
Still shaken by the mans weird powers he
<Bass: Ran away?
<Zack: Wet himself?
<Megaman: Attacked the old man?
reached inside and pulled out two pieces.
<Bass: <Ranma> Damn these two piece puzzles are hard!
He was impressed at the lightness of the metal and knew it wasn’t gold
<Zack: Ranma, gold isn't that heavy.
but it still fascinated him.
<Cool!>
<Bass: <Ranma> I can ACTUALLY use my brain for once.
“Yes, it is cool isn’t it? Let me show you how it works.” Picking up several more pieces he pushed the locking ends together.
<Megaman: Isn't Ranma the one who is suppose to assemble the puzzle?
Ranma thought that it must have some kind of magnet inside since the two pieces stayed stuck. The old man continued to place piece after piece until it took on the shape of a pyramid.
<Megaman: Wait, wait, only the chosen one is suppose to be able to solve the puzzle, right?
<Zack: Yes, that's right. Oh, so then this old man must be the hero of this story then.
<Megaman: So then why is it called Ranma, King of Games?
The old man let go of the puzzle and it shattered back into its pieces.
<Megaman: Or not.
<Zack: <Old man> Uh, oops.
<Bass: It broke into a million pieces.
“This puzzle will become a necklace when finished and will keep its form.
<Megaman: That is what happens when you complete a puzzle.
It was once used by the great pharaohs of ancient Egypt and is said to have magical powers inside.
<Bass: <Ranma> Right, sure, and I am Napoleon king of BUTTERFLY land!
I’m sure that your fiancé would be most happy if you got it for her birthday coming up in three days.” Ranma was interested when he mentioned magic as it might contain a cure for curse,
<All: Doubtful.
<Zack: Wait so AKANE is the hero of this story?
and Akane would like a new piece of jewelry. Still, he didn’t know the price and he only had three hundred yen. <Definitely not enough.>
<Zack: What is that, like a dollar US or something?
<Megaman: More like two and half dollars.
“Three hundred yen.” Ranma blinked, this man was starting to make him nervous.
<Megaman: That old man IS pretty creepy.
The man grinned.
<Bass:<Old man> I could kill him, and get away with it.
“I’ll even throw in this;
<Bass: A blender?
<Zack: The key to the bathroom.
<Megaman: Comic books?
you may find it helpful later on.” The old man handed Ranma a card with a dragon on it.
<Zack: Bahamut!
<Megaman: Puff the Magic Dragon!
<Bass: Filia!
Ranma recognized it as a card from duel monsters, a popular game that all of the school was playing.
<Megaman: Or at least just the nerds.
For three hundred yen I’ll give you the puzzle and this Blue Eyes White Dragon card.
<All: Nani?
<Megaman: Not the Dark Magician?
<Zack: For only 300 yen?
Do we have a deal?” Ranma thought it over.
<Zack:<Ranma> Too… hard… brain crashing….
There were a lot of other nice pieces of jewelry for sale much cheaper.
<Zack: So they had diamond and solid gold jewelry for under five bucks?!
<Bass: Take that, instead of that moronic puzzle!
But for some reason the box and card seemed to be calling out to him.
<Bass:<mysterious voice whispering> If you buy me, he will come.
<Zack:<Ranma> What?
<Bass:<mysterious voice whispering> If you buy me, he will come.
<Zack:<Ranma> Speak louder, I can't hear you!
<Bass:<mysterious voice> Oh sorry, my bad.
Shrugging his shoulders he handed over his money. <What the hell it’s not like I’ve got anything to lose.”
<Zack: Your soul maybe?
<Megaman: Knowing Yu-gi-oh, he might.
<Bass: Along with all with his friends too.
Turning around to leave he heard the old man speak again.
<Bass:<Old man> You have got to be the most gullible person I have ever met, I made all that up! Even the mind reading.
“No but you have everything to gain.” Turning around to ask him what he meant he saw that the stall was bare of its products and owner.
<Megaman: Woah, that was fast!
<Zack: Maybe he is the Flash in disguise.
A little mystified
<Megaman: I think you hit the Cocaine too hard Ranma.
he walked towards the exit of the school yard.
<Bass:<Ranma> What a rip! I can't believe I fell for that mind reading bit.
____________________________
“ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
<Zack: <Voice>I can't get this pickle jar open!
<Megaman:<Voice> I know, I'll call the Powerpuff girls! They won't mind.
Akane Tendo screamed in frustration as she tried to solve the puzzle
<Bass:<Ranma>You know Akane, the pieces do slide together.
<Megaman:<Akane> Just shut up!
<Bass:<Ranma> Yikes!
Ranma had given her. He had demonstrated with a few pieces and she had scoffed at how easy it would be.
<Bass: Ranma, isn't the point of a puzzle is for them to figure it out themselves?
The only problem was that where the pieces had fit and stayed together for Ranma they were falling apart in her hands.
<Zack: Maybe you should dry you hands first.
After two hours of work she hadn’t put a single piece together
<Bass:<laughs>You really suck!
<Zack: WOW, that IS bad.
but had built up a full head of steam.
<ALL: SHE IS GOING TO BLOW, AHHHHHHH!!!!!
The final insult came when she finally got two pieces to fit and they had popped apart very forcefully.
<Megaman: The puzzle must not like you.
One had landed across the room and imbedded itself
<Bass: In Ranma?
in the wall
<Zack: Yikes! How much force did you use when you put the pieces together!?
while the other had shot up and
<Bass: Killed Akane. The end.
smacked Akane on the nose. Not being able to just give up quietly
<All: Of course.
and get some ice for her nose
<Zack: "Got" some ice, GOT! You are speaking in past tense.
she did the only thing she thought was sane.
<Zack: Became a pop star?
<Bass: She left the series?
<Megaman: Left Ranma?
She took it out on Ranma.
<Bass: Who wouldn't?
<Zack: Oh well spousal abuse is fun, it’s it.
“BAKA!!! Slamming down on Ranma’s unguarded head with her mallet
<Megaman:<Ranma> What did I do?
she felt her anger cool off.
<Zack: I bet if she does that about thirty more times, she will be completely calmed down.
<Megaman:<Genma> Uh, Akane, I think you just killed him.
Still a little peeved she marched up to her room. Kasumi came in and handed a bag of ice to Ranma for his head.
<Zack:<Ranma> Screw Akane, I'll marry you instead.
Moving over she gathered up all of the pieces of the puzzle and fiddled with them.
<Bass: <Kasumi> Hey, look I just solved it.
“Don’t let her reaction bother you Ranma.
<Zack: Yeah, don't mind the near fatal head wounds she gives you.
This was a fine gift to give her.
<Bass: <Kasumi>Except she is too stupid to solve it.
<Zack: She can’t even put two pieces together? A chimpanzee is smarter then her!
It’s just a shame that she couldn’t thank you properly for it.”
<Megaman: <Kasumi>Yeah, she needs to hit you harder for that.
She fit two pieces together but frowned as the fell apart when she let go.
<Zack: So it seems only Ranma and that old man will be able to solve it.
“I don’t know why, but you seem to be the only one that can put this thing together
<Bass: <Kasumi> Of course only three people have actually tried to put it together.
so why don’t you try to complete it yourself?”
<Zack: Yeah, that will make Akane feel SO much better.
with that said she rose up and headed back to the kitchen to put away the birthday cake.
<Megaman: There is cake left?
Ranma considered what she had said.
<Zack:<Ranma>I forgot to get a piece of cake.
He had been ready to throw the whole thing out but sighed and took it up to his room. At least he hadn’t wasted all of his money.
<Zack: He DID only spent about three bucks for it.
He hadn’t tried to give Akane the card since he liked the picture on the front
<Bass: <Ranma> Duh, It real purdy.
<Megaman: Bass, you used that was lame.
<Bass: Screw you!
and now kept it safely tucked away upstairs,
<Zack: Unfortunately, it was in plain site, so Genma took it.
maybe it was lucky.
<All: Or not.
___________________________
Ranma sat in his room hunched
<Bass: So he suddenly developed a hunch on his back?
<Megaman: The hunchback of Ranma Half.
over on his bed. Genma panda was snoring up a storm
<Megaman: So Genma has gained the ability to create storms with his snoring?
<Zack: That's not a very helpful technique Genma.
on his futon but Ranma ignored him.
<Bass:<Ranma>Your a bad father, I don't love you anymore.
He pushed several pieces into place and the again locked up.
<All: Huh?
After two hours he was down to one piece with an eye design in it.
<Bass: That's strange, it only took the old man about two minutes.
With trembling hands
<Bass:<Ranma> I'm scared!
he pushed the last piece into place and jumped a little when it suddenly glowed with a golden light.
<All:<singing> Hollaluya! Hollaluya! Hol-lalu-ya!
<Zack: So I guess the difficult of the puzzle is overrated.
It floated out of his hands and hovered in front of his eyes. Suddenly
<Zack: He had all the knowledge of the universe!
<Megaman: <Ranma> I HAVE THE POWER!
a beam of intense light shot out of the eye symbol and hit Ranma in the forehead. He gasped
<All: Gasp!
as he felt his body lock up
<Megaman:<Ranma>Leg cramp!
and fell over apparently unconscious.
<Zack: Or dead.
___________________________
Ranma sat up and screamed as he saw his body still lying on the ground.
“NO! I’ve died!”
<All: THE END!
<Bass: Alright, bad fic, but at least it was short. <starts to leave> Damnit, the door won’t open.
<Megaman: It was worth a try.
“No you haven’t, that’s just your physical body.”
<Bass:<Ranma> Thanks, that makes everything perfectly clear!
Whirling around Ranma saw a person that looked exactly like him, but with wilder hair and a more feral personality.
<Zack: DON KING!
“Your spirit has just been brought here to the shadow realm.”
<Megaman: So he banished himself and Ranma to the shadow realm?
<Bass: That's really stupid.
<Zack: You could have just had this in his head, and saved a lot of time.
Even though he was dealing with forces he had no knowledge about he still found the ability to answer.
<Bass: Level up! New ability, SPEAKING!
“Oh thanks! That makes me feel SO much better. Who are you!?”
<Zack:<Other Ranma> I am Gorf, king of the vegetable people!
the figure shrugged. “My name is
<Megaman:<Other Ranma> Bill.
<Bass:<Other Ranma> George.
Yami,
<All: Sigh.
<Bass: This is going to HURT.
I am the spirit that lives in the puzzle you assembled and you have awakened me from my slumber.”
<Zack: <Yami> Thank a lot! I was in the middle of a good dream too!
<Bass: <Yami> Now I must bring destruction to the world!
THUD!
<Bass: Akane must of hit him again.
<Zack: He fell out of his bed and woke up?
Yami looked down at Ranma who was now copying his physical body’s position.
<All: Huh?
Sighing he started using his powers to wake Ranma up.
<Zack: Unfortunately, I didn't work, and Ranma stayed asleep for a thousand years.
_________________________
Ranma woke up with a gasp as cold water splashed down on him.
<Megaman: Must be Akane.
<Bass:<Ranma> What was that for?!
He sputtered a bit and then noticed that he was still a he.
<All: HUH?!?!?!?
“Get up you BAKA, were going to be late for school!” Akane stomped out the door,
<Bass: And made huge holes in the floor as she walked.
<Megaman: It must cost a lot to clean up after Akane.
missing Ranma’s lack of transformation.
<Megaman: Man, she must have been REALLY angry to miss THAT!
Ranma felt the cold water dripping down his back.
“It wasn’t just a dream.”
<All: Or was it? Dun dun dun!
Focusing a bit he felt his form shift until he was a girl. Focusing again he felt the change and saw that he was a man again.
<All: Whhhhhaaaaattttt?!?!?!
He looked down in his hand and saw the millennium puzzle sitting in his palm. The events of last night flooded back into his mind.
<Bass: Killing almost all of his brain cells, thus turning him into a vegetable.
Flashback.
<Zack: Ranma is a sperm cell swimming through his mother.......
<Bass: <Ranma> Not THAT far back!
Ranma sat down crossed legged
<Megaman: He must of turned back into a girl.
as Yami explained the history of the millennium items and the origins of the shadow games.
<Bass: Unfortunately, Ranma slept through it all.
<Megaman: Wait, wait, how does he even know that!?!?
“Now that you know of how I came here I think it’s time that you know why I came here. The millennium puzzle was created to control the power of the other millennium items.
<All: IT WAS?!
<Megaman: So does mean the other millennium items are powerless then?
<The others shrug.>
But since it has been shattered for so long several of the items have become tainted with evil.
<Megaman: Actually, the evil was already there.
I need you to become my avatar so that I may find and purify the items and reseal them in the shadow realm. Will you help me?”
<Bass:<Ranma> No.
Ranma thought about it for a moment and then spoke.
“I don’t know. For all I know you could be an evil being that’s tricking me.
<Zack: Very true.
But for some reason I trust you.
<All: Moron.
If what you say is true then a lot of innocent people are going to be hurt if the items aren’t taken care of. And it’s the duty of a martial artist to protect the weak and innocent so yah,
<Bass: It is? What would be the fun of that?
<Zack: Yah???
I’ll help.” Yami smiled.
<Bass: <Yami> Dumbass.
<Zack: <Yami> With this poor dope I will have the all millennium items, allowing me to RULE THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
<Megaman: <Ranma> Uh, I’m standing right.
<Zack: <Yami> Uh, er, uh, just kidding. Hehehe……
<Megaman: <Ranma> Nice try.
“Good, of course being my avatar has certain privileges and rewards.
<Zack:<Yami> It comes with a good dental plan.
For one thing I can help you with your curse.”
<All: How?
Ranma immediately perked up at this
<Megaman: He turned into a fawn now?
and started to speak but Yami stopped him.
<Bass:<Yami> Just shut up!
“I did not say I would remove your curse even though I have the power to do so.
<Megaman:<Ranma> What, why not?
<Zack: Uh, since when does the puzzle have THIS power?
Unless some one works for something they tend to expect that everything will be okay in life.
<Zack: That makes sense.
Just look at Akane, do you want to end up like her?” Ranma shuddered as Yami continued.
<Zack: I fail to see the connection.
“And also, you have to admit that you would miss your girl side every now and then right?”
<Megaman:<Ranma> No, not really.
<Bass: Who would want HER?
Ranma was about to deny it but thought for a moment and sheepishly nodded.
<All: Baa!
“Those thoughts aside I can help you with your curse. As long as the millennium puzzle is around your neck you won’t change when hit with hot or cold water.
<Megaman: Since when can the puzzle do that?
<Zack: But then doesn't that cure him?
if you don’t have it your curse will be in control alright?”
End flashback.
<Zack: I guess the author didn't want Ranma's other self to be cool and mysterious like Yugi's.
<Other:<nod>
Ranma dug
<Megaman: Into the ground and buried a bone.
around in his back pack and brought up a leather string
<Megaman: Why does he have that anyway?
which he threaded through a hole in the bottom of the puzzle and looped over his neck like a necklace. Rushing down the stairs he took the bento Kasumi was offering and with a quick “Thank you!” ran out of the house. Kasumi blinked, Ranma never said thank you for his lunches.
<Megaman: <Kasumi> Must be an off day for him.
< Bass: <Kasumi>OH MY GOD! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!
Then she got shaky in the knees as she suddenly recognized the necklace around his neck.
<Zack:<Kasumi> I think I saw that on QVC.
Leaving the breakfast dishes for later she hurried to her room and took out a box made of gold metal with an eye design on it like Ranma’s puzzle.
<Megaman: Must be a popular design.
“Why on earth didn’t I recognize it last night, that was the Millennium Puzzle!”
<All:<in shock>
<Zack: Okkkaayyyyy........
pulling back the lid she sifted through her most precious items given to her by her mother until she found it. She pulled out a pendant necklace that’s top was shaped like an Egyptian amulet but its bottom was shaped like an old fashion key.
<All: Nani?
<Zack: So.... her mother gave her the Millennium Ankh?
<Megaman: It seems... so...
<Bass: An... interesting plot twist.
“Now I just need to wait for him to come home.”
<Bass:<Kasumi> So I can kill him, and take his puzzle.
<Zack: Alright, break time.
The three leave the theater.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
______________________________________________________
Zack and the other are painting several items gold in the main lobby. Zack has a cigarette in his mouth. Zack shows off a spork that he painted gold. “The Millennium Spork! It allows me to manipulate people’s emotions.”
“That’s lame.” Bass wasn’t very impressed.
“Not if it allows to me drive people to the point to suicide, and I can screw with people’s minds.”
“Wow, that is actually pretty evil!” Bass was impressed. Bass pulls out a toaster painted gold. “It’s the Millennium Toaster. This allows me to me to turn peoples souls into tasty toast and eat their souls. Which allows me to take their powers and memory. As well as their appearance.”
“So basically it is an upgrade of your “Take Ability” power then.” Said Zack.
“Yep.” Bass was proud of himself. “What do YOU have Megaman, I bet something lame.”
Megaman shows a book he painted gold. “It’s the Millennium Book. This allows me to rewrite people’s memory any way I want!”
“Hey that’s pretty cool.” Exclaimed Zack. Bass stayed silent, he didn’t want to admit that he LIKED the idea. A bell suddenly went off.
“Oh the mail is here. “ Zack went to a cabinet and open it. It had a few letters as well as a small box.
“Your mail?” Said Bass. “Then why don’t you…wait never mind.”
“What’s in the box?” asked Megaman.
“A replica of the Millennium Ring.” It looked exactly like the Millennium Ring. “Pretty cool huh?”
“How much did you pay for that? It’s cool.” Said Megaman. Bass seemed to care less.
“About 30 bucks.” The alarm goes off. “Fanfic sign!” Zack throws his cigarette to the ground and crushed it. The three run to the theater. Suddenly Zack thought he heard laughter. “Just my imagination” he thought and ran to the theater.
Ranma, King of Games. By Animeprime.
Msting by Zack Strife.
Episode 1001
Part 1
Bass and Megaman are teleported onto the SOL. They see a green haired elf with a blue headband greet them. "Oh hello, welcome to the Satellite of Love. My name is Zack Strife, the captain of this ship." Megaman and Bass stare blankly at him, "You seem different from how I remember you." Megaman and Bass's bodies were much simpler then what Zack remembered.
"What the HELL is going on?!" Bass was really angry, "What the hell has happened to my body?!"
"That is a good question." inquired Megaman.
"And what the hell is he doing here?!" Bass didn't seem to pleased with these events. Zack just sighs.
"Well, as far I know. You where sent here to be my crew." said Zack, "As for your bodies...I have no idea."
"Just who sent us here?" asked Megaman.
"I have no idea." Zack scratched his head. Megaman and Bass facefault, "Some guy named Mr.X."
"Grrr.... my beautiful powerful body has been reduced to this piece of crap." Bass didn't like being weak, "And I am stuck with these two."
"Let me show you around the ship." Zack led the two around the ship, and gave them a brief tour.
"Last, but not least, the holodeck is that large door over there, and this is the Bridge."
The large screen in front of the room turns on. A dark shadow appears on the screen. It says, "Hello Megaman and Bass, I hope you find the accommodations comfortable."
Zack replies, "And here are the Mads."
Megaman replies, "Fine, I guess, what happened to us? Why send us here?"
"Yes, HOW DARE YOU ALTER MY BODY IN SUCH A WAY!!!" screamed Bass, "I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!!!"
"Jeepers Bass, calm down." replied Zack, tries to calm Bass down.
"Your bodies were destroyed by my ultimate creation, so I built you these new ones so you could keep Zack company." replied the shadow.
"Just who are you, really?" asked Megaman.
"You'll find out, soon or a later." said the shadow, "Now for today's experiment."
"Experiment?" asked Megaman and Bass. Zack was able to calm Bass down.
"It is when Mr. X makes us read bad fanfics. Last week he sent me a Yuu Yuu Hakusho, Inu-Yasha crossover, complete with self insertion!" said Zack. Megaman and Bass bug eye.
"Today's experiment is a Ranma 1/2 and Yu-gi-oh crossover, enjoy. Canti send them the fanfic."
"Yes sir!" says Canti.
The alarm goes off.
"Great, fanfic time." said Zack. The three run to the theater.
The three sit down, Megaman is on the right, Bass is on the left, and Zack is in the middle.
<Bass: Great, Yu-gi-oh. Friendship speeches all-round!
Ranma, King of Games
<Zack: Wait... does this mean the author is making Ranma like Yugi?!
<Megaman: It's seems so.
<Bass: I think things got a lot worse.
<Megaman: Bass, you shouldn't judge a fanfic before reading it.
Disclaimer.
<Bass: I am not really human, I am really SATAN!
<Megaman: BASS!
I don’t own Ranma or Yugioh,
<Bass: Thank God.
<Megaman: Bass...
<Bass: Just shut up.
and my dads a lawyer and I’m still a minor so don’t try to sue.
<Megaman: <Author> Though he isn't the type of lawyer that actually deals with that type of thing.
<Bass: <Author> And he got this degree in a box of Cracker Jacks.
<Zack: Not like anyone would try to sue you anyway.
Chapter one.
<Bass: It was after the Armageddon!
Ranma walked among the various stalls at Furinkins fundraiser bazaar. It was mostly junk that people wanted to get rid of
<Zack: <Ranma> Let's see.... some old Natural Geographic...
<Bass: <Ranma> Some old Apple computers....
<Megaman: <Ranma> A nuclear bomb from the once USSR....
<Zack: <Ranma> And some US stamps with an upside down airplane.
and very little was actually worth anything
<Zack: <Ranma> Hmm.... A vase from the Ming dynasty.
but it was still fun just walking around and seeing his friends. A glint of gold suddenly caught his
<Megaman: It was just a candy wrapper though.
eye and he walked over to a stall selling jewelry.
<Bass: <Ranma> I should become a transvestite.
Akane’s birthday was coming up and if he didn’t get her something he knew that she and their fathers would have a fit.
<Megaman: He would up with most of his body broken.
<Man my life sucks.>
<Bass: Not asbad as mine, I stuck with these two ninnies.
<Zack: Bu- but Bass you just meet me.
“You could probably change all that if you were a little more decisive.”
Bass: <Old man> Kill them all.
“Huh?” Ranma looked at the old man running the stall curiously. He snorted and spoke.
<Megaman: Ranma fell into the spring of the drowned pig now?
“Don’t mind me young man,
<Zack: <Old man>Please, help your self to anything in the stall.
I’ve been over the hill so many times that I sometimes just speak my mind.”
<Megaman: Uhh...okay.
<Bass: Nice way to win over new customers. You might as well say, “BOY THESE ITEMS ARE EXPENSIVE.”
A normal person would have been nervous being around a person that could obviously read minds
<Megaman: So Ranma is perfectly okay with it.?
<Zack: Maybe he has the millennium eye?
but Ranma defiantly wasn’t normal and it was Nermena after all.
<Zack: Nermena is a crazy wacky land.
Looking over the various jewelry his eyes landed upon a box holding pieces of broken gold metal.
<Megaman: Looks like you were right Zack.
<All: Sigh.
<I guess that’s useless.>
<Zack: You just melt the metal in a new shape.
“I wouldn’t say that sonny, that there is the millennium puzzle.”
<Zack: So I was right!
<Bass: Dammit!
<Zack: Wait, can't Ranma tell the difference between something broken, and something in puzzle pieces?
Still shaken by the mans weird powers he
<Bass: Ran away?
<Zack: Wet himself?
<Megaman: Attacked the old man?
reached inside and pulled out two pieces.
<Bass: <Ranma> Damn these two piece puzzles are hard!
He was impressed at the lightness of the metal and knew it wasn’t gold
<Zack: Ranma, gold isn't that heavy.
but it still fascinated him.
<Cool!>
<Bass: <Ranma> I can ACTUALLY use my brain for once.
“Yes, it is cool isn’t it? Let me show you how it works.” Picking up several more pieces he pushed the locking ends together.
<Megaman: Isn't Ranma the one who is suppose to assemble the puzzle?
Ranma thought that it must have some kind of magnet inside since the two pieces stayed stuck. The old man continued to place piece after piece until it took on the shape of a pyramid.
<Megaman: Wait, wait, only the chosen one is suppose to be able to solve the puzzle, right?
<Zack: Yes, that's right. Oh, so then this old man must be the hero of this story then.
<Megaman: So then why is it called Ranma, King of Games?
The old man let go of the puzzle and it shattered back into its pieces.
<Megaman: Or not.
<Zack: <Old man> Uh, oops.
<Bass: It broke into a million pieces.
“This puzzle will become a necklace when finished and will keep its form.
<Megaman: That is what happens when you complete a puzzle.
It was once used by the great pharaohs of ancient Egypt and is said to have magical powers inside.
<Bass: <Ranma> Right, sure, and I am Napoleon king of BUTTERFLY land!
I’m sure that your fiancé would be most happy if you got it for her birthday coming up in three days.” Ranma was interested when he mentioned magic as it might contain a cure for curse,
<All: Doubtful.
<Zack: Wait so AKANE is the hero of this story?
and Akane would like a new piece of jewelry. Still, he didn’t know the price and he only had three hundred yen. <Definitely not enough.>
<Zack: What is that, like a dollar US or something?
<Megaman: More like two and half dollars.
“Three hundred yen.” Ranma blinked, this man was starting to make him nervous.
<Megaman: That old man IS pretty creepy.
The man grinned.
<Bass:<Old man> I could kill him, and get away with it.
“I’ll even throw in this;
<Bass: A blender?
<Zack: The key to the bathroom.
<Megaman: Comic books?
you may find it helpful later on.” The old man handed Ranma a card with a dragon on it.
<Zack: Bahamut!
<Megaman: Puff the Magic Dragon!
<Bass: Filia!
Ranma recognized it as a card from duel monsters, a popular game that all of the school was playing.
<Megaman: Or at least just the nerds.
For three hundred yen I’ll give you the puzzle and this Blue Eyes White Dragon card.
<All: Nani?
<Megaman: Not the Dark Magician?
<Zack: For only 300 yen?
Do we have a deal?” Ranma thought it over.
<Zack:<Ranma> Too… hard… brain crashing….
There were a lot of other nice pieces of jewelry for sale much cheaper.
<Zack: So they had diamond and solid gold jewelry for under five bucks?!
<Bass: Take that, instead of that moronic puzzle!
But for some reason the box and card seemed to be calling out to him.
<Bass:<mysterious voice whispering> If you buy me, he will come.
<Zack:<Ranma> What?
<Bass:<mysterious voice whispering> If you buy me, he will come.
<Zack:<Ranma> Speak louder, I can't hear you!
<Bass:<mysterious voice> Oh sorry, my bad.
Shrugging his shoulders he handed over his money. <What the hell it’s not like I’ve got anything to lose.”
<Zack: Your soul maybe?
<Megaman: Knowing Yu-gi-oh, he might.
<Bass: Along with all with his friends too.
Turning around to leave he heard the old man speak again.
<Bass:<Old man> You have got to be the most gullible person I have ever met, I made all that up! Even the mind reading.
“No but you have everything to gain.” Turning around to ask him what he meant he saw that the stall was bare of its products and owner.
<Megaman: Woah, that was fast!
<Zack: Maybe he is the Flash in disguise.
A little mystified
<Megaman: I think you hit the Cocaine too hard Ranma.
he walked towards the exit of the school yard.
<Bass:<Ranma> What a rip! I can't believe I fell for that mind reading bit.
____________________________
“ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
<Zack: <Voice>I can't get this pickle jar open!
<Megaman:<Voice> I know, I'll call the Powerpuff girls! They won't mind.
Akane Tendo screamed in frustration as she tried to solve the puzzle
<Bass:<Ranma>You know Akane, the pieces do slide together.
<Megaman:<Akane> Just shut up!
<Bass:<Ranma> Yikes!
Ranma had given her. He had demonstrated with a few pieces and she had scoffed at how easy it would be.
<Bass: Ranma, isn't the point of a puzzle is for them to figure it out themselves?
The only problem was that where the pieces had fit and stayed together for Ranma they were falling apart in her hands.
<Zack: Maybe you should dry you hands first.
After two hours of work she hadn’t put a single piece together
<Bass:<laughs>You really suck!
<Zack: WOW, that IS bad.
but had built up a full head of steam.
<ALL: SHE IS GOING TO BLOW, AHHHHHHH!!!!!
The final insult came when she finally got two pieces to fit and they had popped apart very forcefully.
<Megaman: The puzzle must not like you.
One had landed across the room and imbedded itself
<Bass: In Ranma?
in the wall
<Zack: Yikes! How much force did you use when you put the pieces together!?
while the other had shot up and
<Bass: Killed Akane. The end.
smacked Akane on the nose. Not being able to just give up quietly
<All: Of course.
and get some ice for her nose
<Zack: "Got" some ice, GOT! You are speaking in past tense.
she did the only thing she thought was sane.
<Zack: Became a pop star?
<Bass: She left the series?
<Megaman: Left Ranma?
She took it out on Ranma.
<Bass: Who wouldn't?
<Zack: Oh well spousal abuse is fun, it’s it.
“BAKA!!! Slamming down on Ranma’s unguarded head with her mallet
<Megaman:<Ranma> What did I do?
she felt her anger cool off.
<Zack: I bet if she does that about thirty more times, she will be completely calmed down.
<Megaman:<Genma> Uh, Akane, I think you just killed him.
Still a little peeved she marched up to her room. Kasumi came in and handed a bag of ice to Ranma for his head.
<Zack:<Ranma> Screw Akane, I'll marry you instead.
Moving over she gathered up all of the pieces of the puzzle and fiddled with them.
<Bass: <Kasumi> Hey, look I just solved it.
“Don’t let her reaction bother you Ranma.
<Zack: Yeah, don't mind the near fatal head wounds she gives you.
This was a fine gift to give her.
<Bass: <Kasumi>Except she is too stupid to solve it.
<Zack: She can’t even put two pieces together? A chimpanzee is smarter then her!
It’s just a shame that she couldn’t thank you properly for it.”
<Megaman: <Kasumi>Yeah, she needs to hit you harder for that.
She fit two pieces together but frowned as the fell apart when she let go.
<Zack: So it seems only Ranma and that old man will be able to solve it.
“I don’t know why, but you seem to be the only one that can put this thing together
<Bass: <Kasumi> Of course only three people have actually tried to put it together.
so why don’t you try to complete it yourself?”
<Zack: Yeah, that will make Akane feel SO much better.
with that said she rose up and headed back to the kitchen to put away the birthday cake.
<Megaman: There is cake left?
Ranma considered what she had said.
<Zack:<Ranma>I forgot to get a piece of cake.
He had been ready to throw the whole thing out but sighed and took it up to his room. At least he hadn’t wasted all of his money.
<Zack: He DID only spent about three bucks for it.
He hadn’t tried to give Akane the card since he liked the picture on the front
<Bass: <Ranma> Duh, It real purdy.
<Megaman: Bass, you used that was lame.
<Bass: Screw you!
and now kept it safely tucked away upstairs,
<Zack: Unfortunately, it was in plain site, so Genma took it.
maybe it was lucky.
<All: Or not.
___________________________
Ranma sat in his room hunched
<Bass: So he suddenly developed a hunch on his back?
<Megaman: The hunchback of Ranma Half.
over on his bed. Genma panda was snoring up a storm
<Megaman: So Genma has gained the ability to create storms with his snoring?
<Zack: That's not a very helpful technique Genma.
on his futon but Ranma ignored him.
<Bass:<Ranma>Your a bad father, I don't love you anymore.
He pushed several pieces into place and the again locked up.
<All: Huh?
After two hours he was down to one piece with an eye design in it.
<Bass: That's strange, it only took the old man about two minutes.
With trembling hands
<Bass:<Ranma> I'm scared!
he pushed the last piece into place and jumped a little when it suddenly glowed with a golden light.
<All:<singing> Hollaluya! Hollaluya! Hol-lalu-ya!
<Zack: So I guess the difficult of the puzzle is overrated.
It floated out of his hands and hovered in front of his eyes. Suddenly
<Zack: He had all the knowledge of the universe!
<Megaman: <Ranma> I HAVE THE POWER!
a beam of intense light shot out of the eye symbol and hit Ranma in the forehead. He gasped
<All: Gasp!
as he felt his body lock up
<Megaman:<Ranma>Leg cramp!
and fell over apparently unconscious.
<Zack: Or dead.
___________________________
Ranma sat up and screamed as he saw his body still lying on the ground.
“NO! I’ve died!”
<All: THE END!
<Bass: Alright, bad fic, but at least it was short. <starts to leave> Damnit, the door won’t open.
<Megaman: It was worth a try.
“No you haven’t, that’s just your physical body.”
<Bass:<Ranma> Thanks, that makes everything perfectly clear!
Whirling around Ranma saw a person that looked exactly like him, but with wilder hair and a more feral personality.
<Zack: DON KING!
“Your spirit has just been brought here to the shadow realm.”
<Megaman: So he banished himself and Ranma to the shadow realm?
<Bass: That's really stupid.
<Zack: You could have just had this in his head, and saved a lot of time.
Even though he was dealing with forces he had no knowledge about he still found the ability to answer.
<Bass: Level up! New ability, SPEAKING!
“Oh thanks! That makes me feel SO much better. Who are you!?”
<Zack:<Other Ranma> I am Gorf, king of the vegetable people!
the figure shrugged. “My name is
<Megaman:<Other Ranma> Bill.
<Bass:<Other Ranma> George.
Yami,
<All: Sigh.
<Bass: This is going to HURT.
I am the spirit that lives in the puzzle you assembled and you have awakened me from my slumber.”
<Zack: <Yami> Thank a lot! I was in the middle of a good dream too!
<Bass: <Yami> Now I must bring destruction to the world!
THUD!
<Bass: Akane must of hit him again.
<Zack: He fell out of his bed and woke up?
Yami looked down at Ranma who was now copying his physical body’s position.
<All: Huh?
Sighing he started using his powers to wake Ranma up.
<Zack: Unfortunately, I didn't work, and Ranma stayed asleep for a thousand years.
_________________________
Ranma woke up with a gasp as cold water splashed down on him.
<Megaman: Must be Akane.
<Bass:<Ranma> What was that for?!
He sputtered a bit and then noticed that he was still a he.
<All: HUH?!?!?!?
“Get up you BAKA, were going to be late for school!” Akane stomped out the door,
<Bass: And made huge holes in the floor as she walked.
<Megaman: It must cost a lot to clean up after Akane.
missing Ranma’s lack of transformation.
<Megaman: Man, she must have been REALLY angry to miss THAT!
Ranma felt the cold water dripping down his back.
“It wasn’t just a dream.”
<All: Or was it? Dun dun dun!
Focusing a bit he felt his form shift until he was a girl. Focusing again he felt the change and saw that he was a man again.
<All: Whhhhhaaaaattttt?!?!?!
He looked down in his hand and saw the millennium puzzle sitting in his palm. The events of last night flooded back into his mind.
<Bass: Killing almost all of his brain cells, thus turning him into a vegetable.
Flashback.
<Zack: Ranma is a sperm cell swimming through his mother.......
<Bass: <Ranma> Not THAT far back!
Ranma sat down crossed legged
<Megaman: He must of turned back into a girl.
as Yami explained the history of the millennium items and the origins of the shadow games.
<Bass: Unfortunately, Ranma slept through it all.
<Megaman: Wait, wait, how does he even know that!?!?
“Now that you know of how I came here I think it’s time that you know why I came here. The millennium puzzle was created to control the power of the other millennium items.
<All: IT WAS?!
<Megaman: So does mean the other millennium items are powerless then?
<The others shrug.>
But since it has been shattered for so long several of the items have become tainted with evil.
<Megaman: Actually, the evil was already there.
I need you to become my avatar so that I may find and purify the items and reseal them in the shadow realm. Will you help me?”
<Bass:<Ranma> No.
Ranma thought about it for a moment and then spoke.
“I don’t know. For all I know you could be an evil being that’s tricking me.
<Zack: Very true.
But for some reason I trust you.
<All: Moron.
If what you say is true then a lot of innocent people are going to be hurt if the items aren’t taken care of. And it’s the duty of a martial artist to protect the weak and innocent so yah,
<Bass: It is? What would be the fun of that?
<Zack: Yah???
I’ll help.” Yami smiled.
<Bass: <Yami> Dumbass.
<Zack: <Yami> With this poor dope I will have the all millennium items, allowing me to RULE THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
<Megaman: <Ranma> Uh, I’m standing right.
<Zack: <Yami> Uh, er, uh, just kidding. Hehehe……
<Megaman: <Ranma> Nice try.
“Good, of course being my avatar has certain privileges and rewards.
<Zack:<Yami> It comes with a good dental plan.
For one thing I can help you with your curse.”
<All: How?
Ranma immediately perked up at this
<Megaman: He turned into a fawn now?
and started to speak but Yami stopped him.
<Bass:<Yami> Just shut up!
“I did not say I would remove your curse even though I have the power to do so.
<Megaman:<Ranma> What, why not?
<Zack: Uh, since when does the puzzle have THIS power?
Unless some one works for something they tend to expect that everything will be okay in life.
<Zack: That makes sense.
Just look at Akane, do you want to end up like her?” Ranma shuddered as Yami continued.
<Zack: I fail to see the connection.
“And also, you have to admit that you would miss your girl side every now and then right?”
<Megaman:<Ranma> No, not really.
<Bass: Who would want HER?
Ranma was about to deny it but thought for a moment and sheepishly nodded.
<All: Baa!
“Those thoughts aside I can help you with your curse. As long as the millennium puzzle is around your neck you won’t change when hit with hot or cold water.
<Megaman: Since when can the puzzle do that?
<Zack: But then doesn't that cure him?
if you don’t have it your curse will be in control alright?”
End flashback.
<Zack: I guess the author didn't want Ranma's other self to be cool and mysterious like Yugi's.
<Other:<nod>
Ranma dug
<Megaman: Into the ground and buried a bone.
around in his back pack and brought up a leather string
<Megaman: Why does he have that anyway?
which he threaded through a hole in the bottom of the puzzle and looped over his neck like a necklace. Rushing down the stairs he took the bento Kasumi was offering and with a quick “Thank you!” ran out of the house. Kasumi blinked, Ranma never said thank you for his lunches.
<Megaman: <Kasumi> Must be an off day for him.
< Bass: <Kasumi>OH MY GOD! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!
Then she got shaky in the knees as she suddenly recognized the necklace around his neck.
<Zack:<Kasumi> I think I saw that on QVC.
Leaving the breakfast dishes for later she hurried to her room and took out a box made of gold metal with an eye design on it like Ranma’s puzzle.
<Megaman: Must be a popular design.
“Why on earth didn’t I recognize it last night, that was the Millennium Puzzle!”
<All:<in shock>
<Zack: Okkkaayyyyy........
pulling back the lid she sifted through her most precious items given to her by her mother until she found it. She pulled out a pendant necklace that’s top was shaped like an Egyptian amulet but its bottom was shaped like an old fashion key.
<All: Nani?
<Zack: So.... her mother gave her the Millennium Ankh?
<Megaman: It seems... so...
<Bass: An... interesting plot twist.
“Now I just need to wait for him to come home.”
<Bass:<Kasumi> So I can kill him, and take his puzzle.
<Zack: Alright, break time.
The three leave the theater.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
______________________________________________________
Zack and the other are painting several items gold in the main lobby. Zack has a cigarette in his mouth. Zack shows off a spork that he painted gold. “The Millennium Spork! It allows me to manipulate people’s emotions.”
“That’s lame.” Bass wasn’t very impressed.
“Not if it allows to me drive people to the point to suicide, and I can screw with people’s minds.”
“Wow, that is actually pretty evil!” Bass was impressed. Bass pulls out a toaster painted gold. “It’s the Millennium Toaster. This allows me to me to turn peoples souls into tasty toast and eat their souls. Which allows me to take their powers and memory. As well as their appearance.”
“So basically it is an upgrade of your “Take Ability” power then.” Said Zack.
“Yep.” Bass was proud of himself. “What do YOU have Megaman, I bet something lame.”
Megaman shows a book he painted gold. “It’s the Millennium Book. This allows me to rewrite people’s memory any way I want!”
“Hey that’s pretty cool.” Exclaimed Zack. Bass stayed silent, he didn’t want to admit that he LIKED the idea. A bell suddenly went off.
“Oh the mail is here. “ Zack went to a cabinet and open it. It had a few letters as well as a small box.
“Your mail?” Said Bass. “Then why don’t you…wait never mind.”
“What’s in the box?” asked Megaman.
“A replica of the Millennium Ring.” It looked exactly like the Millennium Ring. “Pretty cool huh?”
“How much did you pay for that? It’s cool.” Said Megaman. Bass seemed to care less.
“About 30 bucks.” The alarm goes off. “Fanfic sign!” Zack throws his cigarette to the ground and crushed it. The three run to the theater. Suddenly Zack thought he heard laughter. “Just my imagination” he thought and ran to the theater.