Post by jjb3k on Feb 13, 2006 12:23:51 GMT -5
Just a little something I'm working on. There are probably others who have written better MST3K fics than me, but I still feel like showing off what I have to offer. "Enjoy!"
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The hallway doors slammed shut, the bone-shaped latch clicked into place, and Cambot settled back into his usual spot in front of the table on the Satellite of Love bridge. Mike Nelson stood behind the table, ready to give this week’s introduction.
“Hi, everybody, and welcome to the Satellite of Love,” said Mike, as he did every week. “I’m Mike Nelson, and my robot friends should be around here somewhere...”
Almost as if on cue, Tom Servo hovered in from the left. Mike recoiled slightly upon seeing that Servo had several clothes pins clipped to his beak. “Hey, Mike,” said Servo casually.
“Uh, not to sound nosy,” said Mike apprehensively, “but what’s with the clothes pins?”
Servo looked at Mike suspiciously. “What clothes pins?”
Mike pointed at Servo’s pin-laden beak. “The-the ones on your beak.”
“Oh! Right, right, right...” replied Servo. “Well, wouldn’t you know it, Crow and I have a bet going to see who can clip the most clothes pins to their face. I managed to stick about three onto each of my lips so far, but I have a feeling that, given a little more time and effort...”
Mike felt something pointy poking him in the back. He turned around to see Crow standing behind him, with about a hundred clothes pins clipped to his bowling pin beak, lacrosse mask, soap dish eye socket, and neck, as well as several more on his arms and floraliers. “Hey, Fmike,” he said, somewhat muffled by the pins.
“Well, Servo, it looks like Crow’s got you beat,” said Mike. “How many have you got on there, Crow?”
“Ehm, afbout a hufndred afnd thinrty fifve,” said Crow, the clothes pins on his beak clacking together each time he spoke. “Fi defcifded to go for thne efxtra mnile and pnut a fnew on mny tofrso tnoo. Seefms I’ve gnot mnore amfple sfpace fnor clofthes pimns on thifs rufgged bnody of mifne.” Crow chuckled to himself smugly.
“Well, that’s no fair!” Servo protested angrily. “I can’t help it if I’ve got this big rounded head! There’s no good places for clothes pins to clip on in the first place! This is a stupid game!”
Mike began taking the clothes pins off of Crow as the Commercial Sign light began blinking. “Now, come on, either you guys play nicely or I’ll revoke your clothes pin privileges, okay? And you don’t want that, right?”
“No,” Servo sighed.
“All right, well, we’ll be right back,” said Mike, tapping the Commercial Sign button.
“Fmake snure to geft the omnes omn fmy buftt, tfoo,” said Crow.
All told, it was another typical day on the Satellite of Love...but, unbeknownst to Mike and the bots, it was about to become much, much more bizarre.
Mike finally removed the last clothes pin from Crow’s face and placed it in the very large pile on the table. “Well,” he said, “that’s the last of them. How do you feel?”
“Really, really numb,” said Crow. “I bet I can’t feel a thing on my face now. Here, punch me in the nose.”
Mike was taken aback. “Oh, no, I couldn’t bring myself to...”
“Come on, Nelson, ya puss, sock me one right in the ol’ schnozz! Come on! Go for it!”
“Well, I really don’t think, I mean, I don’t know if I should – well, okay.” Mike hauled back and punched Crow square in the bowling pin, knocking him backwards. Crow got up off the floor and chuckled.
“Hah! Nothing! This is awesome! Hey, I’m gonna run headfirst into a wall next! Whee!” Crow ran off giddily, laughing to himself. Mike shook his head in disbelief as Servo entered again.
“Hey, uh, the Three Tenors are calling,” said Servo, indicating the blinking Incoming Transmission light. Mike tapped the button as Crow ran into something in the other room with a loud thump.
Cambot’s monitor displayed the live video feed from Castle Forrester down below on Earth. Pearl Forrester, dressed in her usual green uniform and flanked by Observer and Professor Bobo, stood before the machine she used to send movies up to the SOL.
“All right, Smellson,” said Pearl acerbically, “let’s get this over with. Before I send you your movie today, I’ve got another little goodie from the Institute of Mad Science to subject you to. I’m guessing you’ve probably heard of the old technique of behavior modification in monkeys using wireframe mothers or some bull hockey like that. Well, today, I get to do the same thing to you. Brain Guy, Bobo - the wire puppets.”
“Yes, madam,” said Observer, rushing off. Bobo held up a wireframe model that looked vaguely like himself, with a crude ape mask and fake hair hanging from it.
“Oh, Lawgiver,” he complained, “I don’t want to give up my wire mother! She’s so good to me. She brings me snacks when I’m sad, she tucks me in at night, and whenever I need a changing...”
Pearl angrily yanked the wire puppet from Bobo’s hands. “Cram it, Curious George, before I fold you in half again,” she snarled.
Observer re-entered with wireframe models of himself and Pearl. “Here we are Flawless replicas of the three of us. And do be careful with them, I rather pride myself on my handiwork.”
Pearl rolled her eyes and placed the wire models on the floor. “Okay, Mikey, the substitution begins now!” With that, the three evil minions scurried off out of camera range, leaving just the wire models in their place.
Up on the SOL, Mike and the bots looked at the monitor intently, then turned to face Cambot again. “I dunno,” said Mike, “do you guys feel any different?”
“Not really,” said Servo. “I expected my behavior to be much more modified than this.”
“I actually feel a little more at ease,” added Crow. “The wire Mads are a lot nicer to look at.”
Mike looked at the monitor again. “Hey, you’re right! And we can say stuff to ‘em and they can’t say anything back!”
Servo leaped at the opportunity. “Hey, wire-Bobo, you smell really bad! And you’ve become inexplicably dumber as the years have gone on!”
Crow joined in next. “And wire-Brain Guy, you suck! That pan you carry your brain around in? Whatever!”
“Hey, wire-Pearl,” added Mike, “I don’t like your face! What are you gonna do about it, huh?” Mike laughed, and the bots joined him.
Back down in the castle, Pearl and her cohorts reappeared before the camera, tossing the wire models aside. “Ha! Don’t think I didn’t hear that little remark about my face!”
“And I’ll have you know,” added Observer, “that this brain pan is made of some of the finest and most durable materials in the universe, with a layer of Teflon that is unmatched by any other plastic conveyance!”
Bobo hugged his wire model. “I’m sorry, Mama,” he said apologetically, “they didn’t mean to say such horrible things about you...”
Pearl held up a film reel. “Anyway, as payback for those remarks, here’s your punishment - a cruddy little movie called The Day the World Ended. And it’s a Roger Corman production, so I know you’re just going to loathe it!” Pearl laughed evilly and prepared to insert the film into the machine.
Back on the SOL, Mike looked distraught. “But...but wait! They replaced the wire Mads with cold, unfeeling real Mads!”
“I’m so confused,” muttered Servo, shaking his head.
“I need consolation and a feeling of assuredness!” shouted Crow.
But before the Movie Sign lights could flash, Gypsy rushed into the bridge. “Red alert!” she cried. “The Satellite of Love is quickly approaching an unrelentingly strong black hole! We’re being pulled uncontrollably away from Earth’s orbit!” Then she added, “Oh, and we’re out of Dizzy Grizzlies.”
Mike looked out the window. Sure enough, there was a monstrous black hole, drawing the SOL closer and closer to it by the second. “My God,” said Mike with fear, “it’s huge!”
“No, I’m huge, remember?” asked Servo.
“Servo, ya great dope,” snapped Crow, “that thing’s gonna suck us into some hellish unknown realm where we’ll probably all...” He then turned to Gypsy. “What’d you say about the Dizzy Grizzlies?”
“Screw that,” yelled Gypsy, “prepare for a massive distortion of all time and space! So buckle your seat belts!”
“But I don’t think we have...” Mike began, but he was cut off as the ship began stretching and hurtling faster towards the black hole. The force threw Mike and the bots backwards against the hallway doors.
Down in the castle, Pearl watched the monitor, dumbfounded. “Huh, would you look at that?”
“Yes,” said Observer, “it would appear that they’re being sucked into some unthinkable parallel reality by an incredible force. Well, who’s up for hot cocoa?”
“Ooh, me!” said Bobo happily, as the two of them set off for the kitchen. Pearl grabbed both of them by the ears and pulled them back. “Not so fast, you two schmucks. We’ve got us some test cases to wrangle. Now get in the Widowmaker! And if you gotta go, do it now, because I’m not stopping later.” And with that, she ushered them towards the front entrance.
Before long, the rocket-powered van had blasted through Earth’s atmosphere and was gaining quickly on the still-distorting Satellite of Love as it began to dip into the black hole.
“You’re not escaping me that easily, Nelson!” shouted Pearl, stepping on the gas and igniting the rocket boosters further. The van drew closer to the SOL as it disappeared further into the swirling void.
Observer tapped Pearl on the shoulder. “Um, madam, if I may pose a question...”
“What is it, Brain Job?”
“Well, in our attempt to stop them from entering that black hole...doesn’t it seem like we run the risk of being sucked in ourselves?”
Pearl’s face froze in realization. “Oh, poopie,” she uttered, moments before the van began distorting as it was uncontrollably pulled into the black hole along with the SOL.
And finally, there was nothing but stars. Where the mighty Satellite of Love had been, there was now merely an empty void. The black hole had propelled the satellite and the tiny van to some unknown place and time...but where, nobody had any idea...
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To be continued...
----------------
The hallway doors slammed shut, the bone-shaped latch clicked into place, and Cambot settled back into his usual spot in front of the table on the Satellite of Love bridge. Mike Nelson stood behind the table, ready to give this week’s introduction.
“Hi, everybody, and welcome to the Satellite of Love,” said Mike, as he did every week. “I’m Mike Nelson, and my robot friends should be around here somewhere...”
Almost as if on cue, Tom Servo hovered in from the left. Mike recoiled slightly upon seeing that Servo had several clothes pins clipped to his beak. “Hey, Mike,” said Servo casually.
“Uh, not to sound nosy,” said Mike apprehensively, “but what’s with the clothes pins?”
Servo looked at Mike suspiciously. “What clothes pins?”
Mike pointed at Servo’s pin-laden beak. “The-the ones on your beak.”
“Oh! Right, right, right...” replied Servo. “Well, wouldn’t you know it, Crow and I have a bet going to see who can clip the most clothes pins to their face. I managed to stick about three onto each of my lips so far, but I have a feeling that, given a little more time and effort...”
Mike felt something pointy poking him in the back. He turned around to see Crow standing behind him, with about a hundred clothes pins clipped to his bowling pin beak, lacrosse mask, soap dish eye socket, and neck, as well as several more on his arms and floraliers. “Hey, Fmike,” he said, somewhat muffled by the pins.
“Well, Servo, it looks like Crow’s got you beat,” said Mike. “How many have you got on there, Crow?”
“Ehm, afbout a hufndred afnd thinrty fifve,” said Crow, the clothes pins on his beak clacking together each time he spoke. “Fi defcifded to go for thne efxtra mnile and pnut a fnew on mny tofrso tnoo. Seefms I’ve gnot mnore amfple sfpace fnor clofthes pimns on thifs rufgged bnody of mifne.” Crow chuckled to himself smugly.
“Well, that’s no fair!” Servo protested angrily. “I can’t help it if I’ve got this big rounded head! There’s no good places for clothes pins to clip on in the first place! This is a stupid game!”
Mike began taking the clothes pins off of Crow as the Commercial Sign light began blinking. “Now, come on, either you guys play nicely or I’ll revoke your clothes pin privileges, okay? And you don’t want that, right?”
“No,” Servo sighed.
“All right, well, we’ll be right back,” said Mike, tapping the Commercial Sign button.
“Fmake snure to geft the omnes omn fmy buftt, tfoo,” said Crow.
All told, it was another typical day on the Satellite of Love...but, unbeknownst to Mike and the bots, it was about to become much, much more bizarre.
MST3K: Generations
[/i][/center]A fanfic by JJB3K
Mike finally removed the last clothes pin from Crow’s face and placed it in the very large pile on the table. “Well,” he said, “that’s the last of them. How do you feel?”
“Really, really numb,” said Crow. “I bet I can’t feel a thing on my face now. Here, punch me in the nose.”
Mike was taken aback. “Oh, no, I couldn’t bring myself to...”
“Come on, Nelson, ya puss, sock me one right in the ol’ schnozz! Come on! Go for it!”
“Well, I really don’t think, I mean, I don’t know if I should – well, okay.” Mike hauled back and punched Crow square in the bowling pin, knocking him backwards. Crow got up off the floor and chuckled.
“Hah! Nothing! This is awesome! Hey, I’m gonna run headfirst into a wall next! Whee!” Crow ran off giddily, laughing to himself. Mike shook his head in disbelief as Servo entered again.
“Hey, uh, the Three Tenors are calling,” said Servo, indicating the blinking Incoming Transmission light. Mike tapped the button as Crow ran into something in the other room with a loud thump.
Cambot’s monitor displayed the live video feed from Castle Forrester down below on Earth. Pearl Forrester, dressed in her usual green uniform and flanked by Observer and Professor Bobo, stood before the machine she used to send movies up to the SOL.
“All right, Smellson,” said Pearl acerbically, “let’s get this over with. Before I send you your movie today, I’ve got another little goodie from the Institute of Mad Science to subject you to. I’m guessing you’ve probably heard of the old technique of behavior modification in monkeys using wireframe mothers or some bull hockey like that. Well, today, I get to do the same thing to you. Brain Guy, Bobo - the wire puppets.”
“Yes, madam,” said Observer, rushing off. Bobo held up a wireframe model that looked vaguely like himself, with a crude ape mask and fake hair hanging from it.
“Oh, Lawgiver,” he complained, “I don’t want to give up my wire mother! She’s so good to me. She brings me snacks when I’m sad, she tucks me in at night, and whenever I need a changing...”
Pearl angrily yanked the wire puppet from Bobo’s hands. “Cram it, Curious George, before I fold you in half again,” she snarled.
Observer re-entered with wireframe models of himself and Pearl. “Here we are Flawless replicas of the three of us. And do be careful with them, I rather pride myself on my handiwork.”
Pearl rolled her eyes and placed the wire models on the floor. “Okay, Mikey, the substitution begins now!” With that, the three evil minions scurried off out of camera range, leaving just the wire models in their place.
Up on the SOL, Mike and the bots looked at the monitor intently, then turned to face Cambot again. “I dunno,” said Mike, “do you guys feel any different?”
“Not really,” said Servo. “I expected my behavior to be much more modified than this.”
“I actually feel a little more at ease,” added Crow. “The wire Mads are a lot nicer to look at.”
Mike looked at the monitor again. “Hey, you’re right! And we can say stuff to ‘em and they can’t say anything back!”
Servo leaped at the opportunity. “Hey, wire-Bobo, you smell really bad! And you’ve become inexplicably dumber as the years have gone on!”
Crow joined in next. “And wire-Brain Guy, you suck! That pan you carry your brain around in? Whatever!”
“Hey, wire-Pearl,” added Mike, “I don’t like your face! What are you gonna do about it, huh?” Mike laughed, and the bots joined him.
Back down in the castle, Pearl and her cohorts reappeared before the camera, tossing the wire models aside. “Ha! Don’t think I didn’t hear that little remark about my face!”
“And I’ll have you know,” added Observer, “that this brain pan is made of some of the finest and most durable materials in the universe, with a layer of Teflon that is unmatched by any other plastic conveyance!”
Bobo hugged his wire model. “I’m sorry, Mama,” he said apologetically, “they didn’t mean to say such horrible things about you...”
Pearl held up a film reel. “Anyway, as payback for those remarks, here’s your punishment - a cruddy little movie called The Day the World Ended. And it’s a Roger Corman production, so I know you’re just going to loathe it!” Pearl laughed evilly and prepared to insert the film into the machine.
Back on the SOL, Mike looked distraught. “But...but wait! They replaced the wire Mads with cold, unfeeling real Mads!”
“I’m so confused,” muttered Servo, shaking his head.
“I need consolation and a feeling of assuredness!” shouted Crow.
But before the Movie Sign lights could flash, Gypsy rushed into the bridge. “Red alert!” she cried. “The Satellite of Love is quickly approaching an unrelentingly strong black hole! We’re being pulled uncontrollably away from Earth’s orbit!” Then she added, “Oh, and we’re out of Dizzy Grizzlies.”
Mike looked out the window. Sure enough, there was a monstrous black hole, drawing the SOL closer and closer to it by the second. “My God,” said Mike with fear, “it’s huge!”
“No, I’m huge, remember?” asked Servo.
“Servo, ya great dope,” snapped Crow, “that thing’s gonna suck us into some hellish unknown realm where we’ll probably all...” He then turned to Gypsy. “What’d you say about the Dizzy Grizzlies?”
“Screw that,” yelled Gypsy, “prepare for a massive distortion of all time and space! So buckle your seat belts!”
“But I don’t think we have...” Mike began, but he was cut off as the ship began stretching and hurtling faster towards the black hole. The force threw Mike and the bots backwards against the hallway doors.
Down in the castle, Pearl watched the monitor, dumbfounded. “Huh, would you look at that?”
“Yes,” said Observer, “it would appear that they’re being sucked into some unthinkable parallel reality by an incredible force. Well, who’s up for hot cocoa?”
“Ooh, me!” said Bobo happily, as the two of them set off for the kitchen. Pearl grabbed both of them by the ears and pulled them back. “Not so fast, you two schmucks. We’ve got us some test cases to wrangle. Now get in the Widowmaker! And if you gotta go, do it now, because I’m not stopping later.” And with that, she ushered them towards the front entrance.
Before long, the rocket-powered van had blasted through Earth’s atmosphere and was gaining quickly on the still-distorting Satellite of Love as it began to dip into the black hole.
“You’re not escaping me that easily, Nelson!” shouted Pearl, stepping on the gas and igniting the rocket boosters further. The van drew closer to the SOL as it disappeared further into the swirling void.
Observer tapped Pearl on the shoulder. “Um, madam, if I may pose a question...”
“What is it, Brain Job?”
“Well, in our attempt to stop them from entering that black hole...doesn’t it seem like we run the risk of being sucked in ourselves?”
Pearl’s face froze in realization. “Oh, poopie,” she uttered, moments before the van began distorting as it was uncontrollably pulled into the black hole along with the SOL.
And finally, there was nothing but stars. Where the mighty Satellite of Love had been, there was now merely an empty void. The black hole had propelled the satellite and the tiny van to some unknown place and time...but where, nobody had any idea...
----------------
To be continued...
