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Post by marytrobot on Mar 26, 2004 17:15:17 GMT -5
I suppose it may seem like I'm freaking out, but i had a good childhood friend, he was always sorta the odd one out. a year after I moved away he killed himself, I've always felt guilty of that, cause I lost contact with him after i moved. That's what really set me into depression, and I'm not afraid to admit that I still cry about it, it was over 3 years ago, and I'm still getting over the guilt. I just don't want anything to happen to you,
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Post by Blurryeye on Mar 26, 2004 17:20:44 GMT -5
I don't wanna butt in or anything, but whether you lost contact with him or not, MaryT, it's not your fault he killed himself. It was his own decision. That probably doesn't help your feelings, though.
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 26, 2004 17:28:12 GMT -5
I can't tell you how many times I've been told that, or how many times I've told myslef that, it's never seemed to work. I still feel guilty
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Post by Blurryeye on Mar 26, 2004 17:41:23 GMT -5
Yeah, I figured I wasn't the first to tell you that. Not filled with profound wisdom am I. But I'm glad you are here, and not dead from suicide.
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 26, 2004 21:06:01 GMT -5
honestly you don't know how close I was, I rarely tell people this but your all my friends right (even if some of you roll your eyes when you see me post  ) I would stare at bottles of aspiren wondering if there was enough in the bottle to kill me. But I never did it cause I always reminded myself that my family and the few but good friends I had would feel the same way I had, and I could probably kill them, thats the only thing that kept me from doing it. |
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 29, 2004 9:21:41 GMT -5
I'd have to say that's cause you hadn't gone what I went through, granted I don't want you to, there's where other things going on in my life too, that school, I remember the year after I switched schools I noted that I was surprisingly MUCH happier with life, same with a friend that trasfered with me, she was like "wow I don't need to smoke pot or crap like that anymore!" She had a really tragic story, to put it quickly she had a boyfriend in Oklahoma, who came up when she begged him to, when he was going through a road construction sight, he wasn't paying attention and got in a terrible accident, his mother was able to get there before he died, and she told my friend that the last thing he said was "tell her I love her" well you can imagine how that effected her. Then one last friend who just transfered this year swore to me this summer if she had to go back to our old school she wouldn't make it throught the year, the very idea sent her into depression. (no tragic story here) Just couldn't do it. Nothing makes me happier than the fact that I got out of that school.
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus 
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Mar 29, 2004 11:10:37 GMT -5
MaryT (or MJ as I now know your initials), after reading all the hardships you've been through, I now have a higher respect for you and see you even more as my niece. Your upbeat attitude after such ordeals is just awesome! Me personally, I think it's the hard things that make us better people if only to know more about what is right and what is wrong. And the funniest of people have had the harshest of lives, so you fit in quite well with them. Just wanted to give you my side of things (don't I always) ;D
My same thoughts for nightfal the cannibal. ;D
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 29, 2004 11:40:15 GMT -5
wow...respect? that's something you don't get everyday!  I feel sooo cool now! Yeah i haven't had an easy life, niether has Nighty, but it gets us ready for the rest of life. When I heard those rich preps from my old school talk about their hardships they really needed to be smacked over the head, |
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TomServo69
Moderator Emeritus
Gone but not Forgotten
Nothing ever changes........
Posts: 5,467
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Post by TomServo69 on Mar 29, 2004 14:30:24 GMT -5
We all must face adversity in this world. Mistakes are made, friends are lost and gained, some respect you, others do not. I am 22 years old and I'm going to make some confessions here as I feel it might help out. I've been on top, then went to the lowest of lows and am now back on top. I've tried almost every drug there is to help me escape the pain that was disrespect. All my accomplishments and then, no respect from anyone here. Everything I did, I took to the edge and back. $1000 coke parties, they weren't unusual. But, then, when it all falls down around you, and you're sitting in jail, then you have time to think. About just how low you are, and exactly why you did the things you've done. And then I realized, it's because I've been letting people trample me. I was letting my lack of assertiveness weaken me to no ends. So, I got through that using a brash attitude and with the thought that if I didn't assert myself, everyone was going to do their damnedest to bring me back down. Kill or be killed in a sense. Now I'm back on top. I've got my sports car, my job teaching now, I'm in school, and I've got my group of close-knit friends, along with all you guys. I know we all don't get along at times, we bitch and argue, but, when I read things like some of the things on this thread, it bothers me. Because I can see instances where people aren't asserting themselves. And that led me to the depths of hell and back.
Hopefully this story opened some of your eyes.
Be assertive. Don't let anyone drag you down and spit in your face.
Do it to them first.
Peace be with you.
Servo
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Post by nightfalcawk on Mar 29, 2004 15:21:19 GMT -5
MaryT (or MJ as I now know your initials), after reading all the hardships you've been through, I now have a higher respect for you and see you even more as my niece. Your upbeat attitude after such ordeals is just awesome! Me personally, I think it's the hard things that make us better people if only to know more about what is right and what is wrong. And the funniest of people have had the harshest of lives, so you fit in quite well with them. Just wanted to give you my side of things (don't I always) ;D My same thoughts for nightfal the cannibal. ;D Yay, I actually have respect for the first time in my life! |
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TomServo69
Moderator Emeritus
Gone but not Forgotten
Nothing ever changes........
Posts: 5,467
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Post by TomServo69 on Mar 29, 2004 15:47:37 GMT -5
Yay, I actually have respect for the first time in my life! Read my post. Respect is one of the most important things in the world to have. Servo |
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 29, 2004 16:38:49 GMT -5
We all must face adversity in this world. Mistakes are made, friends are lost and gained, some respect you, others do not. I am 22 years old and I'm going to make some confessions here as I feel it might help out. I've been on top, then went to the lowest of lows and am now back on top. I've tried almost every drug there is to help me escape the pain that was disrespect. All my accomplishments and then, no respect from anyone here. Everything I did, I took to the edge and back. $1000 coke parties, they weren't unusual. But, then, when it all falls down around you, and you're sitting in jail, then you have time to think. About just how low you are, and exactly why you did the things you've done. And then I realized, it's because I've been letting people trample me. I was letting my lack of assertiveness weaken me to no ends. So, I got through that using a brash attitude and with the thought that if I didn't assert myself, everyone was going to do their damnedest to bring me back down. Kill or be killed in a sense. Now I'm back on top. I've got my sports car, my job teaching now, I'm in school, and I've got my group of close-knit friends, along with all you guys. I know we all don't get along at times, we bitch and argue, but, when I read things like some of the things on this thread, it bothers me. Because I can see instances where people aren't asserting themselves. And that led me to the depths of hell and back. Hopefully this story opened some of your eyes. Be assertive. Don't let anyone drag you down and spit in your face. Do it to them first. Peace be with you. Servo Words of wisdom Servo. Not something you see everyday in the mind of rick sloane. |
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TomServo69
Moderator Emeritus
Gone but not Forgotten
Nothing ever changes........
Posts: 5,467
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Post by TomServo69 on Mar 29, 2004 21:48:20 GMT -5
Words of wisdom Servo. Not something you see everyday in the mind of rick sloane. I try. I just hope some will heed my words and never have to go through the things I've been through. Thank you for the kind words MaryT. Servo |
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Post by radagast on Mar 30, 2004 1:03:43 GMT -5
I have pie.
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Post by marytrobot on Mar 30, 2004 9:13:05 GMT -5
I'm i think that your pretty strong to be able to quit all that, and be able to admit that you did it. Anyways I'm glad you are who you are, I love watching you piss people off (good humoredly) and the long petty arguements you start. makes me laugh pretty hard... I wouldn't be able to keep one up that long, I would resort to "I'm right your wrong so there" or The did not did to sort of arguements |
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) I would stare at bottles of aspiren wondering if there was enough in the bottle to kill me. But I never did it cause I always reminded myself that my family and the few but good friends I had would feel the same way I had, and I could probably kill them, thats the only thing that kept me from doing it.
I feel sooo cool now! Yeah i haven't had an easy life, niether has Nighty, but it gets us ready for the rest of life. When I heard those rich preps from my old school talk about their hardships they really needed to be smacked over the head, 
